philantoxx: and all I
have to do to get this is spread my legs for him
and push out little people with his DNA" this OP got me cracking.

weird right.

WHEN I RAISED AN ISSUE LIKE DIS HERE SOME DAYS AGO, SOME PPL SED I WAS ATTACKING D LADIES. THANK GOD DIS IS COMING FROM A LADY.

@ SAFARIGIRL, U BE BETA PIKIN JARE!

safarigirl: .

OK, I'll hand it to you: you are intelligent. I may or may not agree with your views, but delivery of a point of view is sometimes more important than substance to me. respect to Ur grey matter! and funny enough, while u r fixated on tall men (forgive d derailing), some of us are fixated on a woman's intelligence. kudos!

sauer:

Wish really has no place in it. Thousands have wished, but they still clung to the first rich man who crossed their way. Alternatively they could be so blinded by so-called love that they'd dump every other thing they ever thought was important. For MOST, and i mean most, girls who talk like the OP, it's either cos they ve never met a man, or they are way past marriageable age. Or perhaps they aren't even attractive enough to secure a man in the first place.
If the OP were attractive, has rich men flocking around her, and still thinks otherwise, then I'd believe her more. So you see, it's not about the talk; it's about a greater self-awareness which often never finds its way to paper.

lol...se, my passion is writing. Being in a man's house can't stop people from writing. You can work at home and make your dough when you write.

Omo, I no even wan marry rich man wey no go get my time cuz he's too busy making money. So all those #TeamRichMenOrNothing can carry go

Onegai: Try telling this to even men of nowadays.

I got a job last year (very prestigious if not big on salary, could make my career) that took me out of Lagos for less than 2 months. My bf started avoiding my calls and broke up with me on the phone after, saying "oh I can't give you what you want, you were gone, I felt neglected, blah blah". I hissed (okay I pretended to be upset to make him feel guilty ) and moved on.

Next guy who came toasting, I was working long hours on and off in Lagos, maybe 2-3 days a week, other days I'd be home. He started complainig about "so is this how it will be after marriage??" We were not even dating sef.

Current bobo, I'm slowly training him to leave me over weekends to give me space, he's not too happy.

Everyone asks women "when are you getting married?" One relative declared to me (when I told her about something I had achieved) "the crown on a woman's head is Marriage".

When Society and Nigerian men expect you as a woman to be constantly available at their beck-and-call, you're not going to be motivated to achieve much.

You cannot have it all. Every hour you spend worrying about your business is an hour away from your loved ones, every hour you spend with your loved ones is an hour away from making money. What you can do is achieve a balance, maybe 60-40 in whatever way you choose.

Don't worry.. I'll always be there for you.

xp17: modern families always grow up to regret one thing they should have done "i wish I had more time with the kids"

although, I hate stereotyping, but you ll agree with me that the kids open up more with their mum than their dad. sir, there are things you can't change. a man does his chore better outdoor, while a woman does her's better indoor, just like the arms of government, where they have separation of power, everyone to his area of specialization.

this is the reason our parents where able to live together till death, one was dishing out orders while the order was obeying, unlike these days where everyone is giving out order and no one is ready to obey.

do what ever is okay for you. as for me, don't worry yourself, because I'm uncivilized and I'll stick to the old ways.

daughters are usually closer to their fathers. the niger delta militants or the boko boys got parents. am sure infact their mothers took care of them as some of us are saying. why are they what they are. what is training really ? the truth is you child gets training from the school they go and their peer groups. you only do little at home. when the bible said train up ur child ,it meant u should check all this. it never asked the mother alone to do so. the truth remains a woman should see beyond being a liability. some wives cannot buy stuffs for the kids if the father isnt around. This shouldnt be.

Honestly if not for children I wud not av gotten married and av told my wife if she continues to b lazy when dey are grown al divorce her cos she wud b of no use cos she has never tot it wise to support even d children with dia studies or engage in anything economically viable to support d family's upkeep. Some women like my wife just think cos I work in an oil coy, her work is to sit @ ome drive her car around and watch dstv. Sent her to skool she was never serious. Spent N3million in d last 2 yrs in opening a salon (rent plus equipment in abuja) when she insisted she wanted to do biznesss she can't manage unless to fight workers and landlady n insist she is d madam and c in c. Some women don't tink dia husbands cud get sick, die or even b involved in strike @ d workplace. And am just 3 yrs older dan her (32 vs 29).
D painful thing is if guys were unserious like some of dem, wud dey av dated or befriended or even married us?

shoefreak: i have always wanted to own a school, right from my primary school days. i graduated with a 2:1 in education management.
i already have a land i intend to use, by 2015 my creche starts. 2020? BluePearls School must happen.

many of us get sidetracked by situations. we get bored and loose track of that thing we really want. there is nothing wrong in trying several, but when we dont arrive at a certian end that justifies the amount of time spent, then that is where the issh is.

i have trained to be several things:
fashion illustrator
event planner
event decorator
beaded jewelry maker
tailor sef, even now, shoemaking is ongoing... but one thing remains... i love kids and i love teaching. that is what i want to do, be an educationist. that is where i arrived at!! it is what i am GOING to do eventually.

Nice one girl, i love ambitious chicks like you. God ll c us through.

tonididdy: my broda its straight frm one of the horses mouth

If na guy man blunt like the OP just said,u go see NL girls frm left rite and centa they attack am like he wos lying

I opened a thread and asked a simple question o "Can ladies attend events without makeup?"
One Mizmycoli girl said my posts are always ladycentric. Tell me, shud it be mencentric b4? I be homo?
She also opened a thread saying dat men are running away from wedding responsibities.

Pot calling kettle black!

tpia1:

weird right.

lolz..catastrophically weird.with some E-bola to taste.

tonididdy: my broda its straight frm one of the horses mouth

If na guy man blunt like the OP just said,u go see NL girls frm left rite and centa they attack am like he wos lying

I opened a thread and asked a simple question o "Can ladies attend events without makeup?"
One Mzmycoli girl said my posts are always ladycentric. Tell me, shud it be mencentric b4? I be homo?
She also opened a thread saying dat men are running away from wedding responsibities.

Pot calling kettle black!

sauer:
As much as i like to hear talks like this, i rarely believe the women, especially Nigerian women, who churn out these concepts. You girls can so scream on paper like you are sure of yourselves and will always put your career ahead of any other thing.

But when it all comes down to it, one finds out you really don't have that stomach. Yes, you clearly don't. The ones who chicken out mostly are those educated in Nigeria, cultured in an environment that makes them second-class citizens.

I say it and stand on it. I'm yet to see that Nigerian girl who cares so much about her career to want to keep marriage at bay. Do you actually realize that okonjo-iweala's surgeon husband was cheating on her and was even blackmailed while at it? How many of you girls have the stomach for that? How many of you are not so carried away by that fantasy of 'my husband this' my husband that', 'happily ever after', 'no divorce', 'golden wedding'. All bull.s.hit without boundary.

Safarigirl, abi what do they call you. It's not enough to type the words. After you have walked the talk, write a book and then buzz me!

Only a person suffering from inferiority complex is explained in this comment.

dhammyg: THIS IS THE BEST THREAD HAVE SEEN IN DECADES.RECENTLY I WAS CHATTING WITH A FRIEND AND SHE TOLD ME HER AMBITION IN LIFE IS TO MARRY A RICH MAN
I FELT LIKE PUNCHING HER

sorry to burst your bubble, I do not think you and many girls out there (safarigirl included) have ”concrete ambitions” that differs from that of your friend.

Concrete ambitions that'll stand the test of divorce, singleness for life, marriage or age or family pressure.

If u had a wealthy hubby who insists you are more home and the kids than any ambition of yours cos he makes sure you don't lack, would choose your ambition over his comfortable roof? With the tots that one day ud be wealthy like him or even wealthier? Would u?

Well...no matter how career oriented I am, I know that raising a family will always come first. A career can come after my family. My father has always told me that a time will come when you have all you want and money will mean nothing to you. Only your family will remain and you will be blessed to have them.

I know women who chased their careers and are now very rich but still sow seeds for marriage in church on Sundays. There's no time limit to making money but there's a time limit for having kids. There's no joy in coming home to an empty house.

You can be successful even after marriage and let's face it, at the end of the day who are you working for? its your kids. You work to provide for them and make them have a better life not really for yourself. Right now all i keep thinking of is an effective way to balance the both. Everything comes with a price and at the end of the day you choose that which is more pleasing to you so don't go castigating those who have made raising kids their ambition.

If everyone thought the same way or had the same ambition, the world will be a boring place indeed.

touchmeder: I know ur type n I say dis wit d greatest respect. Its ur type that would eventually wish they had a woman that was contributing something (no matter how small) towards d home. It is ur type that will love to be completely in charge, but will grumble about a woman who sits @home, cleaning, cooking and asking for everything up to salt n maggi money.

With all due respect, you don't know me at all. I come from a family where my mum actually used to make nearly 3 times my dad's income. We live in a very lovely place in an exclusive part of town and I can tell you that 2/3 of the money that built this place came from my mum's business back in the day. But as soon as she had her 4th child and the other 3 were approaching that difficult age, and my dad started having health challenges, she voluntarily shut her business and came home to raise her kids and look after her husband's health.
Today he is doing far better than she ever did and all her kids are grown up so some people look at her and assume she is just some lucky trophy wife who married the lotto jackpot and is a leech on a wealthy man, they don't know the background.

Having seen this with my two eyes, I can never look down on a woman who chooses to look after her family full time. My fiancee and I have even discussed this and we have agreed that 3 years after marriage, we will have our first child and she will stop full time work. I know what I gained from always having a parent around when I was little. Before I turned 3, I was already reading fluently and by 12 I was winning nationwide contests ahead of people 4 years my senior. That's what having a full time parent gives you and it's a pity so many of you just don't seem to understand the value of exclusive motherhood.

Stop it right there!!!! Career ogini?
What is the sole duty of a man? A man is meant to be a provider. Lets cut this westernized culture of women building a career bla bla bla. In those days our fathers go to work while our mums stayed at home to look after us.
Though the Society has already made things hard such that the man's salary/income isn't enough for the family.
This same men ranting about women working bla bla bla will be the first to crucify you when you start working and getting home late, or when you start earning more than them.
A man is meant to take care of the family and the wife, don't get it twisted

[quote author=safarigirl] So truthfully true. The sweetest part of this write up is that it's a female that wrote it. You must have learned, unlearned and relearn what the society teaches. It's wisdom on your part to question the status quo and decide to do otherwise. God bless you.
And I pray other females snatch a leaf.

Onegai:

I hate to break this to you, but there are NO GENETIC STUDIES PROVING WOMEN ARE MORE CARING AND ORGANIZED. Seriously, check. Real published Medical papers, none.

Even in real life, almost all my male relatives are neater but less organized than my female relatives. Women hoard stuff, it's hard to be a hoarder and be very organized.

And kids need their Fathers: my father taught me everything and insisted on homework being done well, as opposed to my mum who said "just do the homework". That's why kids are growing crazier each day, because parents are busy delegating responsibilities to each other and chasing money. Ask your grandfather whether it was his mother that taught him to plant yam or clear forest for farm, he will laugh tire. Your kids need their fathers and mothers. EOD.

thanks for the heads-up , maybe it's high I gave away my polygamy ideology and turn a new leaf from the stone age into the 21st century.
I couldn't agree less with you, safarigirl and the other guy, but still have some reservations though.


I have made a little research on the leading course of high divorce rate of today, one of the key course is the pursuit of gender equality from the ladies. in modern marriages everyone fights on whom is greater and in better position to lead the family and this is been making it difficult for some man to cope with. because some ladies, instead of playing it with style, they make it obvious that the man is nothing or has nothing to offer and men hate to be belittled.

my dear, no matter your ambition, 'Abeg' don't forget to cook for your husband and also ensure the house is clean and cool enough to accommodate him after a long day work.

Nigeria men hate fast food!

tonididdy: sorry to burst your bubble, I do not think you and many girls out there (safarigirl included) have ”concrete ambitions” that differs from that of your friend.

Concrete ambitions that'll stand the test of divorce, singleness for life, marriage or age or family pressure.

If u had a wealthy hubby who insists you are more home and the kids than any ambition of yours cos he makes sure you don't lack, would choose your ambition over his comfortable roof? With the tots that one day ud be wealthy like him or even wealthier? Would u?

I CAN NEVER BE AN HOUSEWIFEI HAVE MY OWN AMBITIÖNS IN LIFE AND ANY ONE THAT WANTS TO DESTROY THEM CAN GO TO HELL.FUCCK HIS MONEY

IN CASE U ARE WONDERING WHAT MY AMBITION IS,CHECK MY SIGGY

EbolaParasite:

Here's my problem with your statement - You make it seem like the ultimate goal of going to school is TO WORK in the corporate world.
The reason girls are sent to school is to get an EDUCATION and ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE.
If she chooses to be an Educated Housewife - so be it. The most important thing is that she is not an ILLITERATE.
Educated Women help marriages blossom. Some housewives help their husbands do their accounting etc.
The so-called boutique you are criticizing is not a bad idea at all. What is wrong with the hubby getting the wife a boutique and she puts her education into good use and turns a 50,000 naira boutique to a multi-million naira franchise?

I know a woman who opened a store and started selling groceries as a housewife with her husband's initial investment. The husband worked for an oil company that starts with "S" and they were very comfortable. She grew the store to a multi-million naira outfit that they both run today. Husband is now retired.

Not everyone will be a lawyer, engineer, doctor etc. There is nothing wrong with women chosing to get married. You can chose to be career and oriented and be a Condolezza rice or maintain a balance between both and be a Hilary Clinton or chose to have a happy family while you raise your kids like the numerous women around. Nothing wrong with it.

School is different from education and knowledge.

An educated woman is different from a schooled woman.

CoCoLav: Well...no matter how career oriented I am, I know that raising a family will always come first. A career can come after my family. My father has always told me that a time will come when you have all you want and money will mean nothing to you. Only your family will remain and you will be blessed to have them.

I know women who chased their careers and are now very rich but still sow seeds for marriage in church on Sundays. There's no time limit to making money but there's a time limit for having kids. There's no joy in coming home to an empty house.

You can be successful even after marriage and let's face it, at the end of the day who are you working for? its your kids. You work to provide for them and make them have a better life not really for yourself. Right now all i keep thinking of is an effective way to balance the both. Everything comes with a price and at the end of the day you choose that which is more pleasing to you so don't go castigating those who have made raising kids their ambition.

If everyone thought the same way or had the same ambition, the world will be a boring place indeed.

Thank you!
The very examples of Dora Akunyili,NOI and Diezani she gave are all married women with children ( RIP Dora)
Name almost every successful nigerian woman we hear of,most are married with children
Omotola that has graced nairaland pages countless times is an entrepreneur,an actress and a married woman with children
NOI is in her 50s and a grandmother which tell me she married in her early 20s
The Richest Nigerian woman folorunso Alakija is married with children and she didn't get married as a millionaire
When threads of Rita Dominic and Genny come out,it is these same boys hailing this poster that will will tell them to go and marry.

Looks like some people just wake up and start typing without thinking

llade: Honestly if not for children I wud not av gotten married and av told my wife if she continues to b lazy when dey are grown al divorce her cos she wud b of no use cos she has never tot it wise to support even d children with dia studies or engage in anything economically viable to support d family's upkeep. Some women like my wife just think cos I work in an oil coy, her work is to sit @ ome drive her car around and watch dstv. Sent her to skool she was never serious. Spent N3million in d last 2 yrs in opening a salon (rent plus equipment in abuja) when she insisted she wanted to do biznesss she can't manage unless to fight workers and landlady n insist she is d madam and c in c. Some women don't tink dia husbands cud get sick, die or even b involved in strike @ d workplace. And am just 3 yrs older dan her (32 vs 29).
D painful thing is if guys were unserious like some of dem, wud dey av dated or befriended or even married us?

I love your approach to life...u are a goodman but pls don't divorce her under any circumstance.

livinbygrace: After all ur degree,u ll end up in a man's house.just imagine patience without Jonathan,Sade okoya without Okoya,remi Tinubu without Jagaban,Stella without obasanjo
The list is endless.The challenges re more on men than women.I keep saying it easier for a woman to be successful.All you need is just be serious and follow the right man or have you ever heard where a man move into a woman's house after wedding ?
So to all beautiful angels out there ,success is not all about education.Just be serious and more focus,with God's grace u ll surely get a good loving husband.
Thank me later!!

Contradictory.

rickkid: I was wondering which Nigeria the OP was on about Certainly not this Nigeria I know where everybody is hustling to achieve their dream. Where I work, about 65% of the staff are women and many of them are single, some are married, some even have kids - it doesn't stop them from working. Even from my mother's generation women have not been slacking I mean for heavens sake my mum was making more money than my dad when they got married and this was in 1976! What on earth is the OP talking about??

Lol safarigirl maybe you just surround yourself with very lazy people. No woman I know is content to find husband and make babies.

Working in a company from 8 - 5 is different from been ambitious and having goals.

sexyseun: Stop it right there!!!! Career ogini?
What is the sole duty of a man? A man is meant to be a provider. Lets cut this westernized culture of women building a career bla bla bla. In those days our fathers go to work while our mums stayed at home to look after us.
Though the Society has already made things hard such that the man's salary/income isn't enough for the family.
This same men ranting about women working bla bla bla will be the first to crucify you when you start working and getting home late, or when you start earning more than them.
A man is meant to take care of the family and the wife, don't get it twisted

are u still a virgin ? if yes you are free to compare now to the olden days , if NO... please don't ok.... because I do not think men settle with non virgins then.

majekdom2: are u still a virgin ? if yes you are free to compare now to the olden days , if NO... please don't ok.... because I do not think men settle with non virgins then.

what has being a virgin get to do with taking care of your wife? Are u a learner?

Men!
Watch out for these same men pushing the ladies...

The basic of life is lost

#sitting in one corner to see where humanity ends up as long as my breathe permits...

safarigirl: it's about women like you that go on the defensive simply cos they feel they've been called out.

I suppose you want to be one of the women lucky enough to snag the few wealthy men.

If you're not out there working your butt off, you won't even jam Paddy Adenuga cus such men are found within the circles of hard-working people.

I make half my husband's income but my half can comfortably take care of me and 6 children if I chose to have 6
And no I don't have to work my butt off,I have children to take care of and proud of it
I don't have a single friend that is a housewife
None I can readily think of
Infact some of them earn more than their husbands
So you alone know the people you are referring to since we don't see them

If your topic is directed to a friend of yours,call her and speak to her,that's what friends do
Not everything should be a thread especially when it is not the general reality

tonididdy: I love your approach to life...u are a goodman but pls don't divorce her under any circumstance.

no , some people don't face the reality until threatened with tough conditions. the wife has failed to understand anything can happen. a friend lost his dad in the sosoliso aircrash then , his dad used to work in NNPC. he couldnt complete his universty education abroad.... things never got better because the wife was a liablity also. am sure he is just threatening tho .... he wouldnt divorce.

alaladakosta: But Seriously yoruba men are are lazy, low life , losers. They don't have no future plans, am not saying all of them, cus am Yoruba. But many of them give up easily.

Shutout to ma ibo brothers, men nigga can go any lent to make a change. Drug, rituals name it.

The person that created this website is yoruba.

Don't ever generalise cos you're not yoruba.

sexyseun: what has being a virgin get to do with taking care of your wife? Are u a learner?

lol...you cited that men of old take care of their wives and he cited that women of old kept their chastity for their hsbands.

Now, if we're all going to cite the old days we have to cite them in their entirity, so if you're not chaste like the women of old were then you need to get your lazy butt off the couch and get a job rather than waiting for a compact mugu that will cater to all your needs