sheniqua:

I make half my husband's income but my half can comfortably take care of me and 6 children if I chose to have 6
I don't have a single friend that is a housewife
None I can readily think of
Infact many of them earn more than their husbands
So you alone know the people you are referring to since we don't see them

so why call the post rubbish , when you work and make money .... you dont wish for other women too ? well who can tell if this is true cause I read a post by you on how to cheat on husband!

xp17: @safarigirl, in as much I don't have problems with women being ambitious, but a little bit would be okay. unlike men, women have more caring and organized nature, they pay more attention to details when it comes down to domestic issues, hence they should be closer to the home, irrespective of their ambitions.

personally, I'll hand over all the sensitive responsibilities to my wife, especially in the areas of monitoring the kids change in behavior, spending more time with the kids in other to prevent them from roaming up and down the street, like sheep without a Shepard, and making the family planning. if she can do those, I careless whatever she does with the rest of her time, as long as she not putting the family interest in line, on the pursuit of her goals.


for women: family first , then ambition follows

for men: use your ambition to secure your family, because women hate broke a'ss guys

Your mentality is degrading.

sexyseun: what has being a virgin get to do with taking care of your wife? Are u a learner?

lols , am not a learner , we are not in those days simple .... we have developed and found better ways of dealing with situations!

majekdom2: so why call the post rubbish , when you work and make money .... you dont wish for other women too ? well who can tell if this is true cause I read a post by you on how to cheat on husband!

Most women work so the topic is rubbish
Those who don't go to a location daily,are working from home to make ends meet
How many graduates do you know that are sitting at home churning out babies with millionaire husbands?
Most Nigerian men marry in their late twenties to mid thirties
How many nigerian men that age are millionaires?

The OP is absolutely right by saying some Nigerian women are leeches and are looking for men whom they could depend 100% on. This has always been very alien to the African woman our fore-fathers grew up with. People call our grandmothers based on their handiwork ( Iya Ologi makes Pap and sells, Iya Alasho makes dresses and sells)... It is disappearing in our generation and it's very unfortunate... The reason it has disappeared is because we think a university degree should be a substitute for entrepreneurial activities....

An accounting graduate ( whether male or female) is reluctant to go into farming because he/she thinks society owes him/her an office job, hence why the dependence, especially if the office job isn't forthcoming.


The OP is wrong by singling out Nigerian women because I think this culture of dependence affects both sexes... Loads of young men depend on their parents too or a political godfather for allowances.

It's highly likely that we will never have good governance in Nigeria till God comes so it's imperative Nigerian youths should be looking at being self-employed....

Capital for start-ups is very easy to find if most of us get our priorities well...

If you be 9ja dude with tonnes of gadget, cars, etc that Popsy has bought for you, just go sell them to raise capital for a yogurt company...

If you be 9ja girl that has tonnes of Brazilian hair, jand/yankee dresses, jewelry, etc, go sell them to start a poultry business..

Why you different from our fore-fathers and fore-mothers who never went to school is because you can expand it on a large scale and be exporting your product to arid countries like Saudi Arabia , etc....

sheniqua:

Thank you!
The very examples of Dora Akunyili,NOI and Diezani she gave are all married women with children ( RIP Dora)
Name almost every successful nigerian woman we hear of,most are married with children
Omotola that has graced nairaland pages countless times is an entrepreneur,an actress and a married woman with children
NOI is in her 50s and a grandmother which tell me she married in her early 20s
The Richest Nigerian woman folorunso Alakija is married with children and she didn't get married as a millionaire
When threads of Rita Dominic and Genny come out,it is these same boys hailing this poster that will will tell them to go and marry.

Looks like some people just wake up and start typing without thinking

dora got married while in school but she had goals and focus.... attended classes , made good grades .she didnt let marriage stop her. arent her kids trained. they are doing fine ... so what are we saying?

GodMode:

Only a person suffering from inferiority complex is explained in this comment.

Who is this one?

Lmao @ thread.

Where is @50calibre? I need to read your opinions before I nuke this thread.

A lot of these naija chics are liabilities. Even the ones with "ambitions" also lack the drive to be successful apart from just aiming to get a good job and retire there. They're mostly redundant and lack the drive to inspire men to greatness. Hence most of them are materialistic, promiscuous, and have absolutely nothing to offer - because they always need men to attain/maintain a certain lifestyle.

sauer:

Who mentioned anything about beliefs?

Just so you don't know, I'll tell you now. You wrote this because you felt you were different. You felt you aren't like any of the many Nigerian women you are writing about. And I'm telling you now, your words are baseless until you actually live it out. On your realizing it, I'll give you a 1 in 10 chance. And don't sweat it, i don't have to know you to do that. There's been thousands before you who thought marriage was for the second class lady, who thought their careers were more important than the rich men that came their way. Guess what? They chewed their words. So I'm really just being generous with my 1in 10.

Safarigirl didn't say or write against marriage.

sexyseun: Stop it right there!!!! Career ogini?
What is the sole duty of a man? A man is meant to be a provider. Lets cut this westernized culture of women building a career bla bla bla. In those days our fathers go to work while our mums stayed at home to look after us.
Though the Society has already made things hard such that the man's salary/income isn't enough for the family.
This same men ranting about women working bla bla bla will be the first to crucify you when you start working and getting home late, or when you start earning more than them.
A man is meant to take care of the family and the wife, don't get it twisted

I look at some of the comments here sometimes and I get disturbed about what my generation is going to look like. I mean I complain that our parents' generation was useless, self-obsessed and indolent but at least they never tried to destroy the natural family!

I'm seeing a man on this thread saying that he wants to divorce his wife, the mother of his children for being "lazy" and I shiver. The woman who carried your babies for 9 months, takes care of them and takes care of you and your home is "lazy"?

Jesu Kristi.

I don't even believe in Jesus but I can't think of anything else to say.

Very soon we'll start having incestuous homosexual open marriage. After all na everything oyibo dey do, we gats copy. If oyibo start to chop sheet for mouth, we too we go follow am pack sheet for mouth.

I don tire jor abeg.

3cycle:
Well lucky her...
During my service year I discovered that my calling was in the field of business.
I made big money reselling chickens I bought from a farm faraway from town. (I never knew that the returns were rewarding when you invest in poutry)

With my little ideas about raising chickens I went home to beg for little support from my dad to start a poutry farm(the land was available) but forwhere he declined. He was scared that I might make so much money and refuse to get married whereas my brother was "settled" handsomely to start his company.

Except you are a very strong woman who can't succumb to pressure, I tell you being a single career woman is a difficult thing in Nigeria.

Good point. The attitude of men in our society must change. Until the society started treating women with respect rather than a piece of sex and a maid, the women will continue to see men as an object of extortion.

I wish u the best ,young lady and I hope u follow ur dreams.

OP, some of your points are on point and they are a much needed wake up call to some of our women. But, I'd like to caution you against generalizing. Majority of Nigerian women aren't lazy. I have come to respect them for that. Many families have survived for a reasonable number of years on the income of the mother of the house. Just listen to a few families' stories and you'd know.

On the issue of your friends who express their wish to marry rich men; I don't see anything wrong with that. Who among us didn't dream of becoming a princess with a prince who'd love you with all his might? Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Who dictates for life?

Why it seems women place a lot of emphasis on marriage in their 20's and 30's is because of the biological clock. So, women in that age bracket try to re-prioritize, putting children and husband first.

Do not for one minute think that taking time off to marry and have children is an abandonment of their career paths. Nah.... Not for Nigerian women of today.

They may be on break for a while, to achieve another goal (a family) but they'll be back and still reach their full potentials.

sheniqua:

I make half my husband's income but my half can comfortably take care of me and 6 children if I chose to have 6
And no I don't have to work my butt off,I have children to take care of and proud of it
I don't have a single friend that is a housewife
None I can readily think of
Infact some of them earn more than their husbands
So you alone know the people you are referring to since we don't see them

If your topic is directed to a friend of yours,call her and speak to her,that's what friends do
Not everything should be a thread especially when it is not the general reality

if my thread isn't speaking to you, fine and good. You and your friends don't even make up to 1% of the Nigerian female population, so you need to stop with your ITK and allow those it's speaking to DIGEST THE MESSAGE. It's women like you that delude themselves into thinking that there are no women who suffer marital abuse simply cuz you and your friends aren't experiencing it. You have made no point whatsoever, there is a world far beyond the happy paradise you find yourself and I will make whatever threads I want to as long as I see things in my society I have issues with and even Seun Osewa won't stop me. Goodnight

rickkid: I was wondering which Nigeria the OP was on about Certainly not this Nigeria I know where everybody is hustling to achieve their dream. Where I work, about 65% of the staff are women and many of them are single, some are married, some even have kids - it doesn't stop them from working. Even from my mother's generation women have not been slacking I mean for heavens sake my mum was making more money than my dad when they got married and this was in 1976! What on earth is the OP talking about??

Lol safarigirl maybe you just surround yourself with very lazy people. No woman I know is content to find husband and make babies.

That wouldn't make for an interesting thread I guess .it sounds sweeter to say they are all waiting for millionaires to marry them while wasting the education their parents gave them.

rickkid:
My guy! Wa gba yii jare! Your head dey dia.

Life is not difficult like that. Let a man be a man. Let a woman be a woman.

Sometimes it's best to just leave some things the way nature made them. No point over-analysing and theorising. Bottom line is - as a man you are a breadwinner. If you consistently fail at this, go for spiritual cleansing. As a woman, you are the foundation of human civilisation, I.e a mother; the person who brings lives into existence. It is a woman's job to create and mould human beings, which is the most important job on the planet. It is also her job to take care of the home which those little humans live in. It is a man's job to provide the resources to make sure that those little beings and their mother are catered for. Full stop.

When we think we're smarter than Mother Nature is when we start having these problems.

Its the creator that creates offspring... Its the job of the husband and wife to build a HOME.

sexyseun: Stop it right there!!!! Career ogini?
What is the sole duty of a man? A man is meant to be a provider. Lets cut this westernized culture of women building a career bla bla bla. In those days our fathers go to work while our mums stayed at home to look after us.
Though the Society has already made things hard such that the man's salary/income isn't enough for the family.
This same men ranting about women working bla bla bla will be the first to crucify you when you start working and getting home late, or when you start earning more than them.
A man is meant to take care of the family and the wife, don't get it twisted

Ladies with such liabilty-mentality, our greatest turn-off in the 21st century. Wow!

sauer:

Wish really has no place in it. Thousands have wished, but they still clung to the first rich man who crossed their way. Alternatively they could be so blinded by so-called love that they'd dump every other thing they ever thought was important. For MOST, and i mean most, girls who talk like the OP, it's either cos they ve never met a man, or they are way past marriageable age. Or perhaps they aren't even attractive enough to secure a man in the first place.
If the OP were attractive, has rich men flocking around her, and still thinks otherwise, then I'd believe her more. So you see, it's not about the talk; it's about a greater self-awareness which often never finds its way to paper.

Okay, since I read your very first post on this issue, I knew you were more concerned about the bearer of the message than the message. And I tell you, in as much as you are entitled to your opinion, you are still making too many assumptions about the Op, probably because you know the bearer of the message (what she looks like or what she has always sounded like online). You may be right, but there's a possibility that you might be wrong too.

shymexx: Lmao @ thread.

Where is @50calibre? I need to read your opinions before I nuke this thread.

A lot of these naija chics are liabilities. Even the ones with "ambitions" also lack the drive to be successful apart from just aiming to get a good job and retire there. They're mostly redundant and lack the drive to inspire men to greatness. Hence most of them are materialistic, promiscuous, and have absolutely nothing to offer - because they always need men to attain/maintain a certain lifestyle.

the fake life style ..... but I have met some great naija chics really who have got stuffs to offer.... its about majority of the youths of these days really.

safarigirl: if my thread isn't speaking to you, fine and good. You and your friends don't even make up to 1% of the Nigerian female population, so you need to stop with your ITK and allow those it's speaking to DIGEST THE MESSAGE. It's women like you that delude themselves into thinking that there are no women who suffer marital abuse simply cuz you and your friends aren't experiencing it. You have made no point whatsoever, there is a world far beyond the happy paradise you find yourself and I will make whatever threads I want to as long as I see things in my society I have issues with and even Seun Osewa won't stop me. Goodnight

At my end it is a sunny afternoon

This is not about marital abuse so stick to the topic you created
I doubt if you were seeking answers from women who are being kept
You don't expect that your ignorant write up won't be challenged

How many women do you know that are sitting at home with millionaire husbands after marriage?
The average Nigerian man is struggling financially and wondering where his rent and meals will come from so where do these people live?

Logicalmindy: How would they aspire to be great in life?, when their female Nigerian counterparts who are breaking records is being bashed of being loose, husbandless and prostitute e.g Chimamanda, Genevieve, Linda Ikeji, Rita Dominic etc

You re so right. Most Nigerians are idealists and not realist. Try to be well educated and be career minded it will still be these #teamidealists# that will criticise you.

It's a wonder the bishes are married wt powerful rides from their hobbies why d career woman is workring her butt 4 her boss who is spending on one lazy butt.

majekdom2: no , some people don't face the reality until threatened with tough conditions. the wife has failed to understand anything can happen. a friend lost his dad in the sosoliso aircrash then , his dad used to work in NNPC. he couldnt complete his universty education abroad.... things never got better because the wife was a liablity also. am sure he is just threatening tho .... he wouldnt divorce.

u know you are 101% right...if u'll be great in life or suffer its partly in the hands of the choice of your woman.

I have an uncle who workd with an oil coy for years,his wife was very wasteful because he claimd to love her and her words and needs more than the needs of their future...he retired in his early 50s for no reason and today they are still struggling to complete a 5bdroom duplex he started about 12yrs ago in his hometown...till today the crib is still far from finish.they are broke now,he even says so himself.

So I advice that dude to tame his wife properly or ...”had I known would be the story

safarigirl: if my thread isn't speaking to you, fine and good. You and your friends don't even make up to 1% of the Nigerian female population, so you need to stop with your ITK and allow those it's speaking to DIGEST THE MESSAGE. It's women like you that delude themselves into thinking that there are no women who suffer marital abuse simply cuz you and your friends aren't experiencing it. You have made no point whatsoever, there is a world far beyond the happy paradise you find yourself and I will make whatever threads I want to as long as I see things in my society I have issues with and even Seun Osewa won't stop me. Goodnight

Madam, for d upteenth time, ya brain day work wella. Ya mama born beta pikin. Wish I cd meet u in person sha...ur so

Its a Nigerian phenomenon...during my stay in the UK, I observed the opposite about the young girls or ladies.Even my girl there was so independent, she cared less about what I put on the table; as she demanded equal rights which I understood. Girls in Nigeria need to step up their game for real

EbolaParasite:

Therein lies the problem. Some of you think Motherhood is beans abi.
The fulfillment from MOTHERHOOD and being able to RAISE something that started as a spec of s.e.m.en is unquantifiable. The same way you are excited about your CAREER is the same way others are excited about RAISING CHILDREN. The fact that you think wanting to get married and having kids means having little to no ambition makes me question your so-called education and career interest. A KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON WOULD NEVER SAY SUCH.

MOTHERHOOD TRUMPS any rubbish career you want to make up. The only people i have respect for are the ones that DO BOTH.
If you think having a career means you have some sort of ambition or are better than women who chose to raise babies, PLEASE DO THE WORLD A FAVOUR and TEAR YOUR CERTIFICATE

Foolish comment
Since u feel this way
Go to a motherless home and drop 70% of your monthly salary with them.

Raising a child is easy when u have money but what isn't without money

maxtamazin:

Good point. The attitude of men in our society must change. Until the society started treating women with respect rather than a piece of sex and a maid, the women will continue to see men as an object of extortion.

I wish u the best ,young lady and I hope u follow ur dreams.

who treats ladies this way these days .... I guess the guy that smokes skunk with his sagging trousers under the bridge... respect starts from the way you talk to your next neighbour.

rickkid:
I look at some of the comments here sometimes and I get disturbed about what my generation is going to look like. I mean I complain that our parents' generation was useless, self-obsessed and indolent but at least they never tried to destroy the natural family!

I'm seeing a man on this thread saying that he wants to divorce his wife, the mother of his children for being "lazy" and I shiver. The woman who carried your babies for 9 months, takes care of them and takes care of you and your home is "lazy"?

Jesu Kristi.

I don't even believe in Jesus but I can't think of anything else to say.

Very soon we'll start having incestuous homosexual open marriage. After all na everything oyibo dey do, we gats copy. If oyibo start to chop sheet for mouth, we too we go follow am pack sheet for mouth.

I don tire jor abeg.

that was some threat... it is obvious he loves his wife and wants the best for the family.

sexyseun: Stop it right there!!!! Career ogini?
What is the sole duty of a man? A man is meant to be a provider. Lets cut this westernized culture of women building a career bla bla bla. In those days our fathers go to work while our mums stayed at home to look after us.
Though the Society has already made things hard such that the man's salary/income isn't enough for the family.
This same men ranting about women working bla bla bla will be the first to crucify you when you start working and getting home late, or when you start earning more than them.
A man is meant to take care of the family and the wife, don't get it twisted

I look at some of the comments here sometimes and I get disturbed about what my generation is going to look like. I mean I complain that our parents' generation was useless, self-obsessed and indolent but at least they never tried to destroy the natural family!

I'm seeing a man on this thread saying that he wants to divorce his wife, the mother of his children for being "lazy" and I shiver. The woman who carried your babies for 9 months, takes care of them and takes care of you and your home is "lazy"?

Jesu Kristi.

I don't even believe in Jesus but I can't think of anything else to say.

Very soon we'll start having incestuous homosexual open marriage. After all na everything oyibo dey do, we gats copy. If oyibo start to use tongue lick sh1t, our people sef go follow am pack sh1t for mouth.

I don tire jor abeg.

As always, the men have trooped in here to bash Nigerian women.

Sometimes I wonder if I live in a different Nigeria. Or it depends on who we know and surround ourselves with.

#sipping smirnoff and chewing popcorn.

ochon: God bless you real good, Safarigirl. Truer words have never been spoken.

One of the founding fathers of this huge backward mentality which is fast desecrating some women, is OUR PARENTS. Our parents, society, and traditions caused all these.

You'll see a parent raising her daughters to believe that marriage is their key to earthly salvation.

You'll see a parent asking their 20-year-old daughter that's still in the uni reading to better her life, "when are you getting married?"

You'll see parents shipping off their daughters who's fresh from high school to a man, a girl that's barely 19 years of age. Sometimes I understand why they'd to do it - POVERTY.

You'll see parents mocking their girl's achievement simply because they ain't married yet.

Many parents pressurise their daughters into marriage because of "what the society will say."

Also, some ladies are to be blamed too. A girl will leave her studies, and start leeching off different men, selling her body in the process just to get new clothes, new gadgets and bribe her way through school. Just to live posh. They've this hope of "getting married" when they are done with school and enjoying their husby's wealth. Such a sick mentality.

I blame some men too. What kind of a sick man will have the clear conscience of marrying an 18-year-old girl fresh from high school, just because he wants "an untouched girl"? Those men will prey on families that are low income earners who see their daughters as a way to escaping poverty. The cycle is vicious mehn!!

That said, Safari, I think you should edit your title to include "SOME" or "MANY" because they're independent and employed ladies out there working hard to cater for themselves without depending on a man to be her saviour. Shout-out to such ladies!! Keep the fire burning.

Do u want the daughters of low income parents to become runs girls or prostitutes

EbolaParasite:

Here's my problem with your statement - You make it seem like the ultimate goal of going to school is TO WORK in the corporate world.
The reason girls are sent to school is to get an EDUCATION and ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE.
If she chooses to be an Educated Housewife - so be it. The most important thing is that she is not an ILLITERATE.
Educated Women help marriages blossom. Some housewives help their husbands do their accounting etc.
The so-called boutique you are criticizing is not a bad idea at all. What is wrong with the hubby getting the wife a boutique and she puts her education into good use and turns a 50,000 naira boutique to a multi-million naira franchise?

I know a woman who opened a store and started selling groceries as a housewife with her husband's initial investment. The husband worked for an oil company that starts with "S" and they were very comfortable. She grew the store to a multi-million naira outfit that they both run today. Husband is now retired.

Not everyone will be a lawyer, engineer, doctor etc. There is nothing wrong with women chosing to get married. You can chose to be career and oriented and be a Condolezza rice or maintain a balance between both and be a Hilary Clinton or chose to have a happy family while you raise your kids like the numerous women around. Nothing wrong with it.

respect sir.
there is this retired doctor friend of my (far older than me), he's married to a professor of one of the ivy league colleges .the guy called me one day and asked if was married, I said "no". then he said "please never in your life get married. that guy must have passed through the eye of a needle from his ambitious wife. LOL


@safarigirl, please marry me, let me stay at home to take care of the kids , while you do the hustling .

I hate work

obongproff:

Ladies with such liabilty-mentality, our greatest turn-off in the 21st century. Wow!

it all boils down to the fact that you are a broke-asss who can't fully fend for your family.

thandii1:

Okay, since I read your very first post on this issue, I knew you were more concerned about the bearer of the message than the message. And I tell you, in as much as you are entitled to your opinion, you are still making too many assumptions about the Op, probably because you know the bearer of the message (what she looks like or what she has always sounded like online). You may be right, but there's a possibility that you might be wrong too.

If that's all you can see, then there is not much to say to it.