benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

Thank God for NLnders dat have talk sense into you! You already know the truth, just dat you can't let go! A Marriable woman shud be able to hold her own together while still loving and respecting you! Iphone 6 ko, iPhone 10 ni?

kandiikane:



@ bolded, you can't have it all. She loves you and you love her... think of it as a positive. She is pushing you to succeed.

You seem to underestimate d danger materialism poses 4 a union especially when d culprit lacks d means to pick d bills. A materialistic woman would earn tons of money and still ensure that her husband pays for maggi. Perhaps you need to undertand that the young man, though jobless, is aspiring to pursue his PhD and as such is not being encouraged but stampeded. Three things can follow from his story: 1) she'll dump him when he is unable to sustain the monthly stipend. 2)they would get married if things get better soon enough. 3)she'd drive him into debts with her lifestyle when they get married and send him to a premature death. Love is overrated. Couples divorce, yet some die, yet members of the former union still move ahead to love again! Materialism is a red flag!

princessdairies:
tnk u very much my bbro,uve said it all

u r welcom dear...





I stole a look at your profile... All i could do was to shout... Wow!!! Believe me... I love what I saw...(winks)

Cutehector:
I just tire...if I block am nw, she go start to dey call me unnecesarily.. I jus duno why I keep meetin d wrong set of girls...

lol...

Guyz dey vex 4 diz tread gan ooooo...nawa oooo

bashydemy:
Bro i swear your reasoning tally with mine, Just forget that bondage call marriage if it's about sex you will always get it that i can bet my life... 100% even your Ex friend won't mind..

I agree totally with you,marriage is for suckers.
I am 35 and i am not even thinking it,despite the fact that i am comfortable and family and colleagues keep pressuring to get married but i just cannot see any reason for a woman in my life.

benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

hummmmmm.....is better u like her knw her weakness...nd let her knw u don't like such tinz..nd see her reactions thereafter...

damilareoye:
Ladies, ehh

guyzz ehn....no 1 is a saint

prettyJoy22:
Lol guyz are ranting here...its not that serious joor,there are many fishes in the sea

I tire ooooo...

benjaminiyke:
seconded....we just need to pray to God for financial stability. Women are synonymous with material things. Not all tho.

That is why I see and easily conclude that this marriage of a thing is slavery, especially on the part of men. It is only an arrangement to force the man into slavery till death does him a part. You go into marriage just to fulfill the needs of the woman; today this tomorrow that. You leave the needs of your own family, your parents that laboured and took all the pains to make you become what you are today and go into that slavery called marriage especially what I see in this present day Nigeria. You live to take care of her needs, her families' needs and ignore your family and still she feels she is doing you a favour. If you want to help any of your relatives its a problem because you didn't take permission from her, as if its her parents that brought you up. If you help her relatives in a measure that is less compared to your relatives you are in trouble.
Hmmmmmm marriage is a scam.
God however, did not design marriage to be like that. A woman is supposed to be a helper. This is the message that is lacking in most ladies of nowadays. They want you to marry them as a liability just to show that they have also answered 'Present' in the register of marriage. Marriage is a scam. The people that are living happily today are the unmarried. Forget the pressure from parents and friends. Those who are married are not happy at all. Even the so called men of God.
Another scam that is unsuspectingly going unnoticed is the idea that as a Christian you must marry a lady that is a believer or born again Christian taaaaaaa another scam. Show me a successful christian couple in marriage and I will show you 1000 successful marriages between cronic unbelievers who are living happily.
You have people of this generation who live to do all manner of things and when the Clock comes ticking, the hurriedly run to any of these new generation Churches just to go and destroy the lives of the ignorant but committed brethren who never played the game.
I have seen several committed sisters, holyghost speaking, and all the fake spiritual gymnastic displaying sisters that married and succeeded in ruining the lives of those brethren, even some committed pastors. Some who are even here on Nairaland can attest to this fact. Some even claim it was God that spoke to them bla bla bla. Then where is that God?
One thing I know and firmly hold unto is the fact that having a successful marriage live is a choice that 'MUST' be taken by both the man and the wife. If only one of them takes this choice, all of them may just end up in hell.
Please am not against marriage am only saying what I have witnessed. Christians just have to sit up if the marriage testimonies are any thing to go by. Because right now they are so discouraging.

bakynes:

Where are the many fishes, all girls are the same. My advice to guys is to either forget marriage or put up with the rubbish these ladies of nowadays are doing. Marriage is going extinct, women are trouble if you want to live long keep away from them except when you need them for sex coz if you are asking for fidelity, commitment they can never give it. My own gf have complained and complained abt the rubbish things she does all she is concerned abt is buying the latest clothes, shoes, make hair abt 6 times a month and loading her IG with pictures not concerned abt our future together. I just tire for una everything bring money! Bring money ha!

u nt deir yet....nt all girlz...kip trying..Good luck

benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

Oga u r d highest mugun...dis kind of lazygal u r sending money haaaaa if she loves u she will sacrify a bit to see u travel...infact how did u toast her sef...u go de show say u too much na...loook dat ur babe some one go de bang her....somewhere pray she no jam playa like me...

Harinholar:
guyzz ehn....no 1 is a saint

Ladies are much more wicked jhorr.

post=35685614:


Bros calm down. Na wahala u enter so oh. First u no dey work and u dey send her 10k to 5k everymonth

Infact were u see money sef. U wan even travel go abroad for PHD bros were u see money u dey even promise her iphone 6.

Bros I dey suspect u.

Lol same questn running tru ma mind ere....I pray he reply us oooo...can't wait...guyz ehnnn...can't laugh tho

sicobamty2:
My u guys taking girls matter so sewious dan God matter, women are so useless now except my mummy

...accepted..so far we also av useless guyz so don't expect nt 2 av useless ladies 2...

coleon:


I agree totally with you,marriage is for suckers.
I am 35 and i am not even thinking it,despite the fact that i am comfortable and family and colleagues keep pressuring to get married but i just cannot see any reason for a woman in my life.

Bro seriously, I still blame myself everyday for marrying, Give girl belle and tell and be a father that's Well happy noe we are separated and all will be well.

Some will tell you. You cant foot my bills. I dont no wat am doin wit yo. Some will start callin another guy in front of you

benjaminiyke:
Am in receipt of your comment with regards to my post,and honestly speaking I agree with your assessment. I think we will make a great home if am financially stable because aside from her materialistic attitude...she's a great girl. In response to the other part of your opinion; all I posted is the truth and nothing but the truth. Thanks anyway for your candid advice. My most profound gratitude.

Truth be told, you can not always have money all the time. there will be a time when you will be broke! so what will happen? and every materialistic girl don't usually know how to invest. they are great squanderer. Be wise.... and be in control

francizy:


And I hope the fish is eaten with dignity and pride..

sure

benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

My ex once requested for a salary too and I was like what will she be doing for me that'll warrant me paying her salary? Am I paying her for dating me? It's bullshit bro. She's only after your money and when she's able to get someone who's ready to pay her more monthly then she'll dump your ass. Wise up bro

Hmm...

princetelaviv:
op is lik u av been involve in such tins bfor ooooooooo

I swear. It's from experience

yokka:


Noo, I disagree with you right there. The worst kind of dark side like you rightly called it is materialism. You know why.?? because it grows. it's insatiable.
Lemme paint you a picture. You earn a million she makes her hair in the hundreds of thousands, you earn a billion, she graduates to making her hair in the millions. Now she wants a pent-house apartment. Now she wants a Veyron. It just keeps growing.
And ooo yes, there are nice girls out there. Very very nice girls. Near flawless. We just have to open our eyes and see past the face and booty and look for real substance.

you've just said it all but will blame the guys also cos they tend to lick the àss of girls that are flashy but numbskull upstairs leaving the smart, humble and the intelligent ones that comes their way. Sometimes I wonder what could be the reason ?

Chigold101:

Babe i no gree with u ooo.
Yes if you are boring, that might send a girl packing. But if you are broke and young, a wise girl will not dump you if you have ambition & works towards your ambition & dream. Wise girls see beyond today. They see a man‘s future. Wise girls marry future, not the present. Because someone might be boxed up today and tomorrow poor to zero.

When i got married to my wife in 2013, i had nothing. Yes i live in 3bedroom apartment, the only thing i had was a 14inch tv, one lg dvd player and secondary school foam, no chair of any type. But today it is a different story.

Any girl that marry a guy because he is boxed up, will leave the same guy when he goes broke.


OP, i dont believe your number... When a girl talks about your wife, she is trying to find out what her future with u will look like. So when a girl says some thing like... Your wife will suffer oh... She is expecting you to reasure her that she is the one. So she expects to hear... You are the one now... Lolzzzz
Girls say that to taste the dept of the water...

When she's fond of saying that over and over again and u kept reassuring her and she didn't stop then it's not what you're thinking.

maryhaam:
may be you too should change where you ply, there re still some sound ladies, in our community.

We are tired of hearing all these 'there re still some sound ladies, in our community' We are not new to that. Nairaland Scam hahahahahahhahaha. But sincerely speaking no lady is ready to watch her character and see the need to change for good. Even the ones here on N**r*L**d. All they want is just to pretend to be the best and make the ignorant guys believe that they are so many good ladies out there, there in the forest?. Do any mistake and maarry them haaaaaa your destiny is gone.
One thing I notice which is a big problem among the youth is 'Character deformation' if every one of us is ready and willing to come out of him/herself and watch the real you in you and work on yourself daily to improve on every aspect of your life. Be ready to see your faults when fingers are pointing at you. Be your best critic and be ready to take responsibility for your actions and be ready to take corrections, then you and I will be a better boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, fiancee, husband and wife. As far as all these are lacking, we will continue failing and running to Nairaland to complain. Thanks.
Pls read and stop complaining that my article is too long. Lol.

Thank you all for your candid advice and opinion. Honestly speaking we have some great and intelligent #Nairalanders who are wonderful counselors, I will desist from sending her monthly stipend for 3 to 4 months and see her reaction,within that period I will learn to retrain my brain and mind to be prepared for the worst scenario possible incase she decides to leave me,The financial burden is really driving me crazy,I can't remember the last time I did something cool for myself. I embrace your Advice I will apply them to the best of my knowledge and see how it pans out. Thanks

Lizabeth25:
And where is 10 signs that shows that your boyfriend will not marry you

It's time people focus on reasonable things than shits like this.!

Instead of you to pray that you don't marry the wrong person, you are talking of signs!

What if you are too blind to read the signs that says " You're doom if you marry this person?"

So what makes a good lady is when she's not doing those things above?

You better wise up and wake up from your sleep!
Mtcheeeeeeeeew

Will you advise your blood brother whom you love to marry a girl that exhibit all these traits?
Hmmmmm I perceive something but I will release it when the time is right.

iampartyboy:


When she's fond of saying that over and over again and u kept reassuring her and she didn't stop then it's not what you're thinking.

if you want her to stop asking or saying that... Take your father to her father. Pay her bride‘s price. I promise you... She will never say that again.

francizy:


Where's my hook, a fish just identified herself...

when are you going to stop ? francizyromanus.

benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

If your story is real, I wonder what you are still doing with her. Sure its not becos of sex?

Lizabeth25:
And where is 10 signs that shows that your boyfriend will not marry you

It's time people focus on reasonable things than shits like this.!


Reasonable things like what? Please expatiate.

Instead of you to pray that you don't marry the wrong person, you are talking of signs!

How do you pray not to marry the wrong person without caring to know the wrong signs? Or you suggest one should just pray blindly or just pray and go and sleep?
My sister God is not a magician. We pray but for every prayer there must be some responsibilities attached to such prayers. When we pray, God opens our eyes to see so that we can take good decisions, and for you to take good decisions you need knowledge to judge and decide what or the signs of what is good or bad and not to pray blindly and wait for angels to come and take decisions on things whose responsibility, God has placed in your hands. Thank your and for your matured reply in advance.

What if you are too blind to read the signs that says " You're doom if you marry this person?"

So what makes a good lady is when she's not doing those things above?

You better wise up and wake up from your sleep!
Mtcheeeeeeeeew

Will you advise your blood brother whom you love to marry a girl that exhibit all these traits?
Hmmmmm I perceive something but I will release it when the time is right.

What signs do you think you see?

Why won't people stop deceiving themselves? Why are people le trying to be ignorant of little things that is as vital than anything?

What if the babe is pretending to be who you want her to be and after marriage, she start exhibiting some of the signs. What will you do?

Orkpekyandega:

Will you advise your blood brother whom you love to marry a girl that exhibit all these traits?
Hmmmmm I perceive something but I will release it when the time is right.