What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

Prove ur self to her but doing something extra ordinary things.


Abeg don't ask me the things


All u need is extra ordinary things

I wonder if written words could depict tone of voice

Anywayz, you sound like you're vibrating over the matter and thus rushing into things

You need to calm down and understand yourself and understand the lady... especially what you want from the relationship

That way you can relate better with her and not seem so desperate for a relationship. Calm her fears and make her ease into the thought of being with you without feeling stifled

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free to I can't? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know u must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Cc:
Saff
Uniquetani
zinnyzee
vanida6
QueenSekxy
pocohantas
MhisTahrah
MariaLavina
Shugavee
Divay22
GloriaNinja
gudvibz
rheether
classc25
Juliearth
KillaBeauty
forever24
Tamarapetty
Lizilicious
Viicfuntop
Lovemeforme
Chiommy123

buy her stuffs n give her all ur attention, start the relationship the way she wants it as first,, then u chip in the freedom issue when her mind don enter well.

Personally you've got to really think it through and be honest with yourself if you can cope with her being so free cause at a certain point we all get jealous, if not don't force it clean up your act and move on

ATLEAST SHE IS HONEST WITH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING, DONT START WHAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE. THERE'S ALSO THE OPTION OF GOING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, WHEN GTHE RELATIONSHIP BECOMES SERIOUS EVERY WISE GIRL KNOWS THAT SHE SHOULD CUT DOWN ON THOSE EXCESSES. BUT IF SHE REFUSES TO, IT WONT BE HER FAULT BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU FROM THE BEGINNING.

Why do I feel like I'm the one being addressed?

gudvibz:
Personally you've got to really think it through and be honest with yourself if you can cope with her being so free cause at a certain point we all get jealous, if not don't force it clean up your act and move on

U understand my point.. Sometimes we get jealous

folake4u:
Why do I feel like I'm the one being addressed?

U feel like Cox u r not the one

mercy0008:
ATLEAST SHE IS HONEST WITH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING, DONT START WHAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE. THERE'S ALSO THE OPTION OF GOING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, WHEN GTHE RELATIONSHIP BECOMES SERIOUS EVERY WISE GIRL KNOWS THAT SHE SHOULD CUT DOWN ON THOSE EXCESSES. BUT IF SHE REFUSES TO, IT WONT BE HER FAULT BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU FROM THE BEGINNING.

That's what I'm. Thinking.. Every decent n serious girl shud know how to cut her freedom.... I am not against any lady freedom but I think when u r committed, it shud be kind of limited

sirusX:
I wonder if written words could depict tone of voice

Anywayz, you sound like you're vibrating over the matter and thus rushing into things

You need to calm down and understand yourself and understand the lady... especially what you want from the relationship

That way you can relate better with her and not seem so desperate for a relationship. Calm her fears and make her ease into the thought of being with you without feeling stifled

No I am not desperate..... I have to tell her this or never.... We have been friends for quite a while and bliv me, a lady knows what u want from the first day. So if I just keep quiet, I fit enter friend zone and I'm not in for friend zone.....

How old is the girl in question?

Makamuanwuo:
Prove ur self to her but doing something extra ordinary things.


Abeg don't ask me the things


All u need is extra ordinary things

Abeg just tell me bro... I will repackage them

sacramento1212:
How old is the girl in question?

I think 21 or 22 Sha... She is in level 1 moving to level 2 in a month time.. While I will be moving to level 4 too...

Timekeeper:


I think 21 or 22 Sha... She is in level 1 moving to level 2 in a month time.. While I will be moving to level 4 too...

I thought as much because many girls within that age are usually not consistent emotionally. Focus more on graduating from school and allow her explore because there's absolutely nothing you can do to tame her now.

Abeg leave the poor girl alone make she grow

Tell her how serious you wanna be with her if she still insist on not being ready emotionally then let her be and get someone else. Hope she doesn't come back to say you hurt her feelings

I believe that you may be over-analyzing the situation a bit because it sounds like you’re wanting to know why rather than what. The thing is, you may not want to know why she’s not ready.

Chemistry is just one of those things that you don’t have control of. Attraction is not a choice. She may just not be ready for a relationship with you, rather than in general. This happens all the time and while it could be the result of conflicting feelings for a past relationship; further speculation is unnecessary because it’s her business and she doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone. You already know what it means when a girl says, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” It’s only natural to want to understand why but the thing is, it's none of your business and I say this with all due respect.

If this is the case, give her the gift of space and be her friend. In fact, withdrawing yourself can take a lot of stress off of her which can actually work out better for you in the long run. Don’t think of her as someone that you need to wait for because you shouldn’t. Value yourself and prioritize what’s good for you because she isn’t going to do that for you

zinnyzee:
I believe that you may be over-analyzing the situation a bit because it sounds like you’re wanting to know why rather than what. The thing is, you may not want to know why she’s not ready.

Chemistry is just one of those things that you don’t have control of. Attraction is not a choice. She may just not be ready for a relationship with you, rather than in general. This happens all the time and while it could be the result of conflicting feelings for a past relationship; further speculation is unnecessary because it’s her business and she doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone. You already know what it means when a girl says, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” It’s only natural to want to understand why but the thing is, it's none of your business and I say this with all due respect.

If this is the case, give her the gift of space and be her friend. In fact, withdrawing yourself can take a lot of stress off of her which can actually work out better for you in the long run. Don’t think of her as someone that you need to wait for because you shouldn’t. Value yourself and prioritize what’s good for you because she isn’t going to do that for you

Good one..... I do under but u no ladies with playing victim (sorry to say this)... I understand that I shud give her space but what if she later says I didn't fight for her love.... If I give her space simply bcox she is not ready emotionally mainly bcoz of her freedom like I typed above, she is a free type... If I take my space, she may say I didn't love her truly and that you I didn't fight for her

chiommy123:
Tell her how serious you wanna be with her if she still insist on not being ready emotionally then let her be and get someone else. Hope she doesn't come back to say you hurt her feelings

U understand what am trying to say... She may say I did Cox I didn't fight for her... Honestly if she told me that she can't date me Cox she is in a relationship.. I will just let her be forever and move on... I'm a man of time and value.. I value my time and career so much

Zinnyzee : try understand me, she didn't say she can't date me, but she said if she goes into relationship, what about her freedom? I told u she has friends a lot n male friends.. She sometimes hang out with them on campus but notin BTW them to my own personal understand

Timekeeper:



U understand what am trying to say... She may say I did Cox I didn't fight for her... Honestly if she told me that she can't date me Cox she is in a relationship.. I will just let her be forever and move on... I'm a man of time and value.. I value my time and career so much

Zinnyzee : try understand me, she didn't say she can't date me, but she said if she goes into relationship, what about her freedom? I told u she has friends a lot n male friends.. She sometimes hang out with them on campus but notin BTW them to my own personal understand

but that's her problem cos you told her how you felt. You're not going to force her na. are you?

chiommy123:
but that's her problem cos you told her how you felt. You're not going to force her na. are you?

No, i think

to be honest with you, you should just have to stick around her and don't ever force her to date you.
when the time comes, she will be the one to come around then, everything will happen naturally, but if you force her into dating you, she's gonna play ludo with your heart.

Timekeeper:




Good one..... I do under but u no ladies with playing victim (sorry to say this)... I understand that I shud give her space but what if she later says I didn't fight for her love.... If I give her space simply bcox she is not ready emotionally mainly bcoz of her freedom like I typed above, she is a free type... If I take my space, she may say I didn't love her truly and that you I didn't fight for her

I didn't mean you giving her space asin shrinking away from her... I meant you giving her space asin stop talking about relationship with her.

Just be her friend, try to be someone she can lean on. Make yourself her confidante. Don't shower her with unnecessary gifts( most sensible ladies don't like that.)
When you see her hanging out with her male friends on campus, say hi to her and them with a friendly face and smile.

When you call her, ask about the welfare of her friends. Remind her she can talk to you about anything and everything. Let her know you're not gonna hinder her friendship with anyone since no one hindered yours with hers(Ladies love to hear that?

Get her to talk about her padt relationships with you, if there's any. Just talk, talk, talk with her. Kissing happens during the course of talking and so many other things follow.


It's not really that hard, buddy.

Guest you are hungry, use this for breakfast and stop asking stupid question

To me she is not yet ready, if she is ready and really want to be with you she's going to sacrifice that to be with you. #mymilliondollars

21 in 100level?

Dear op, A lady at her age and level in school may not be emotionally available for a relationship. Not everyone has the ability to focus on two things at the same time. Most especially when it comes to Studies and relationship.

Naturally, Emotions and Logic are opposing forces except in cases where an individual is matured enough to handle both. It takes Maturity to attain that level of emotional intelligence.Probably she's yet to reach that level and honestly it will affect her grades.

At her age must ladies want to explore and enjoy freedom. Who knows if she was brought up by strict parents who place restrictions on their wards. School is an avenue to be free, you coming in will cut that short.

I respect her honesty, do that to. Give her space. If you will, help her in her academics but never expect too much. There is a probability she will want you the way you want, and she may not. Don't push it. Be confident and Mature around her.

QueenSekxy:
to be honest with you, you should just have to stick around her and don't ever force her to date you.
when the time comes, she will be the one to come around then, everything will happen naturally, but if you force her into dating you, she's gonna play ludo with your heart.

Thanks.. I wunt force her... That's why I came for ladies advice here on nairaland

There are 2197655546788999907655 ladies in Nigeria...

Why opening a thread for just one person?

Pffsst

Thanks.. MariaLavina... U r right though