MariaLavina:
21 in 100level?

Dear op, A lady at her age and level in school may not be emotionally available for a relationship. Not everyone has the ability to focus on two things at the same time. Most especially when it comes to Studies and relationship.

Naturally, Emotions and Logic are opposing forces except in cases where an individual is matured enough to handle both. It takes Maturity to attain that level of emotional intelligence.Probably she's yet to reach that level and honestly it will affect her grades.

At her age must ladies want to explore and enjoy freedom. Who knows if she was brought up by strict parents who place restrictions on their wards. School is an avenue to be free, you coming in will cut that short.

I respect her honesty, do that to. Give her space. If you will, help her in her academics but never expect too much. There is a probability she will want you the way you want, and she may not. Don't push it. Be confident and Mature around her.

A very smart comment! However, I'd like to advise the OP; If she doesn't feel anything for you already, not talking about relationships but being around her won't help your chances of her liking you in the future a bit

IBBG:
no offence intended to the person i'm quoting, but baba if you do what this person is saying she go friendzone you o. she will never take you serious at all. she will only see you as one of those admirers she can use or on her beck and call. From what you have written, what i can deduce is that she doesn't want a committed relationship just yet. she wants to be free to explore her fantasies without being caged in a relationship, atleast not yet, while she has the opportunities. And from all indication you seem to her like someone who will be monitoring and policing her if she gives in to you in the name of love and it will be choking and irritating for her. how it works out between the both of you depends on what you want. If you are desperate for something serious then cut her off. But if you are open to just having fun then play along with her, and don't ask her out again. just start acting like she is already your girl friend when she is around you. But when she leaves your side just ignore her totally by allowing only her to be the one calling or chatting you up. Even when she complains about it don't change. otherwise she will friendzone you. Act cozy, friendly, romantic when she is around, but when she is not with you just ignore her completely. And watch how the tide will change in your favour. Thats how you handle this kind of girls.

You're the real MVP! You be guy wey sabi as e dey go

No mind that zinnyzee abi wetin be her name

Na dem dey like make man dey flock around them

Daeylar:
yes this is how you handle these kind of girls. playing with their minds, emotions and feelings, using them for fun, instead of just acting like a decent human being, respecting her opinion and walking away,

instead you want to toy with her feelings, manipulate her and treat her like trash and what is her offence?
she dared to day she wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship, just because when a girl says she isn't ready for a relationship you think it is acceptable to prey on her and use her for fun.

disgusting

later I'm sure if one girl says men are trash you'll jump out and say not all men,

nonsense.

I hope there aren't still girls falling for this manipulative nonsense?

please, ladies if you have a guy that wants to try this rubbish on you, cut the MF off and pretend like he never existed.(even if they come back begging, or start harassing you, na their way, ignore like they don't exist. ) then move on to look for better men to give your time to.

don't waste your time on manipulative fuxkboys like this one below.

The guy said the perfect truth... He's not a fuckboy... You're the fuckgirl who loves feeling important by having guys around you constantly asking you out and yoh replying No upandan

He understands the female mind (At leaat majority) and uses it to his advantage...

Stop crying all in the name of 'protecting female interests'

IBBG:
ibibong@gmail.com

thanks bro

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

it means that she is not ready to take on the responsibility of marriage

she still feels like she wanna enjoy her freedom more

give her time and chill
she likes u she'll come around

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

it means that she is not ready to take on the responsibility of marriage

she still feels like she wanna enjoy her freedom more

give her time and chill
she likes u she'll come around


and be more romantic in the meanwhile

haryomikun:


You're the real MVP! You be guy wey sabi as e dey go

No mind that zinnyzee abi wetin be her name

Na dem dey like make man dey flock around them

You no just get sense.

If she tells you that she is not emotionally ready, it means that she has a person in mind she wants to date or a crush that she is expecting to be dating soon and you my dear are not what she wants, you are not her very spec.

Deal with it and suck it up.

cc:Timekeeper.

haryomikun:


You're the real MVP! You be guy wey sabi as e dey go

No mind that zinnyzee abi wetin be her name

Na dem dey like make man dey flock around them

lol. They use guys like that to feed their ego.

Colourich:
If she tells you that she is not emotionally ready, it means that she has a person in mind she wants to date or a crush that she is expecting to be dating soon and you my dear are not what she wants, you are not her very spec.

Deal with it and suck it up.

cc:Timekeeper.

Girrrrrl, you just said it all, either she ready has someone, or she has eyes for another, if he keeps forcing himself on him, she'll cave in and that'll be the beginning of heartache for him.

zinnyzee:
You no just get sense.

Shirrrrup your detty mouth

Timekeeper:



I'm done reading.... I can't do those things u said n I can't be d bad guy u want me to be.... I prefer to be rejected than act as a bad guy Cox of girl.... Whether nice or bad, ur lady will come...

Alright.

Colourich:
If she tells you that she is not emotionally ready, it means that she has a person in mind she wants to date or a crush that she is expecting to be dating soon and you my dear are not what she wants, you are not her very spec.

Deal with it and suck it up.

cc:Timekeeper.

As a lady... Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha...

Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours.


But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

Cc: colourich

Sacramento1212
... Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha... Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours. But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

Cc: Chiommy123
Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha... Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours. But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

MariaLavina:
21 in 100level?

Dear op, A lady at her age and level in school may not be emotionally available for a relationship. Not everyone has the ability to focus on two things at the same time. Most especially when it comes to Studies and relationship.

Naturally, Emotions and Logic are opposing forces except in cases where an individual is matured enough to handle both. It takes Maturity to attain that level of emotional intelligence.Probably she's yet to reach that level and honestly it will affect her grades.

At her age must ladies want to explore and enjoy freedom. Who knows if she was brought up by strict parents who place restrictions on their wards. School is an avenue to be free, you coming in will cut that short.

I respect her honesty, do that to. Give her space. If you will, help her in her academics but never expect too much. There is a probability she will want you the way you want, and she may not. Don't push it. Be confident and Mature around her.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Saff:
Hi


I think you need to give this young lady some space as she’s in a stage in her life where she may not want commitment. She’s just trying to cover it up by saying, ‘she likes her freedom.’ Shes not a child that doesn’t understand the dynamic of a relationship, she’s just not ready. Don’t invest too much emotions into her at the moment, because you’ll end up losing in the end. I believe you guys can be casual friends from a distance, but please do not pressure her into anything. Once a woman knows that a man really likes them and wants a relationship more than them, they’ll take advantage and play with your heart. That’s human nature, we always look for weaknesses in people and use it to our advantage. Don’t come across desperate, play it cool. If she’s meant for you, she’ll come back to you eventually.

Put yourself first before anybody! Guard your heart and don’t purposely fall into a place of confusion for the sake of love. Take a step back and think it through. Goodluck

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Daeylar:
A girl told you what she wants,
you came here looking for us to give you tips on how to disregard what she wants, so that you can get what you selfishly want as if the relationship is only about you and what you want.


she is not emotionally ready, move on

why is it hard?

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

tunjilana:
Bros...Emotionally detach yourself from her and play the game..don't take her too serious so u don't hurt urself or end up marrying somene who doesn't love you with her whole...

It is possible she is eyeing someone or trying to get with someone who isn't giving her attention or she is still holding out for her ex...don't be that guy...move ur heart far away from her...U may still be there physically sha in case u want sex with her but take off your mind...

And if she eventually comes around and says or act ready, be sure of why she is ready, be sure it is not cos she has bn used and dumped by someone else and then suddenly see u as available, be sure it isn't to get back at someone, be sure it isnt in a desperate bid to marry...

Marrying someone who pretend to love u is the biggest headache u can give urself...let her be...

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Xisnin:

I had different advice in mind until I saw her age.
You will be wasting your time if you want a serious relationship.
She is currently in her "experimenting" stage and you should be
expecting several heartbreaks if you decide to follow your heart
instead of your head.
It is only after failed experiments can she decide to commit to any relationship, this
usually happens around age 26 and above.
There are exceptions but this is my experience with educated ladies.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

marioken:
The truth is she is not ready for any relationship or commitment,dont go in OR you will hurt yourself.That type of girl will toll with your emotion cos she is hasn't met the one that will break her emotionally.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Bryan88:
bro,u need men to advice u not ladies and if u know whats good 4 ur dear hrt? Giv dat girl as much space as u can...talkin from experience.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Trottle:
Bro,

Do your self a favour and ALWAYS take to your heels whenever a girl tells you she has "male friends" (who are most likely toasters...) you're human and there is bound to be conflict sooner or later: don't buy that crap.
Your destiny is not tied to anyone. You have a whole lot ahead of you, and cannot afford to waste your time on anyone.

The close proximity that campus offers is what is BLINDING you, thinking you are in love. Trust me, when you start to experience the real world (starting from NYSC). You'll Laugh and laugh at
your previous naivety.

Try to make a solid CGPA, start thinking of a nice business plan, and how to generally better your life and improve your society. Trust me, Na them go rush you, as you'll have your pick (of potential WIVES).

PLUS: don't spend to buy any girl's love or impress her. The roadside bigger or the hungry kid on the street will forever cherish you if you feed them rather.

Be wise with your time and all.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

unyted:
My brother, you did not make your intentions known earlier. You came as a friend and seems to have been friend-zoned. All the crap she said was just an excuse in order not to hurt you.

Just leave her for a while, don't call her. Maybe when she misses you, the situation might change.

If she gets back to you, don't say anything about love. Take her out on a date, hold her hands, get close to her, go for the kiss! Stop deceiving yourself that you only want friendship when you truly want more!

Brother, date other girls. When she notices that you have options, she will become jealous, and will most likely come back to you. To make a woman want you, psychology is involved. Cheers!

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

blackgold2018:
Campus love.. puppy love. Lol back in the days we play mum n dad romance in uni. My friend face front to your CGPA.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

akiOYIBO:
Why would u meet a girl for 3 weeks without making ur intention known? Its obvious she friendzoned u, forget the "not ready" of a thing. Its the word they usually use. She friendzoned u and wouldn't want to lose u as a friend. Just know u haven't done anything to trigger her sexual attraction.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Cocao:
Nope.

She's not ready to date you.
When a lady begins to tell you stuff like that, let it go. Else, you will get hurt and cry foul. Save yourself today.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

openmine:

bro that's the point the lady you quoted is trying to make!
U must value and respect yourself enough to move on....that's giving her the space she needs since she is afraid of losing her freedom!

infact giving her the needed space by reducing ur calls to her and social media chats can actually make her see what she has really been missing which will influence her decision to change her current stance!

Please don't force urself on a lady who is not ready for a relationship!
U are too important and sophisticated to even hang around someone like that hoping for a change of mind from her!

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Ishilove:
Op, you sound like a pussy. Stop cramping her style

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Lizilicious:
When I was ur gals age, I told a guy the exact same thing she's telling u now..
I wanted freedom... Didn't want any guy calling me on the phone and asking me where I was, didn't want a guy telling me my dress is too short or way too tight..( on a general note, I didn't want a monitoring Spirit of a boyfriend)..

I think that shit comes with the age..

But along the line, I realized I needed someone that'll call me and ask how my day was, or if I arrived safely from my journey..
I didn't need friends, I needed a friend and a soulmate..


What am I even saying sef, don't rush her.
Just take it slowly, she'll definitely come around..

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

geezyk:
If a lady tells you she doesn't want to date you cos. of her freedom, Oboy just let her be oo, cos if you pressure her into dating you you'll surely regret it.

I met a girl like that, she told me she values her freedom, but whenever I call we talk a lot and not a single attitude is given, so I concluded she was into me, so I forced her in to dating me, Atleast I thought I did.

I started noticing the attitude and she was always with guys in the school, I acted like it didn't get to me, but with time I became frustrated cos there's this guy he's always with, always!!

finally, it was her friend that told me not to kill myself over her cos I was so madly in love with her, that she has another that controls her like mugu, Na when my eyes clear be dat, but the love didn't die, I had to wash her off my system like someone in rehab, fell sick and all before I pulled thru..

So oga, don't tow that lane oo, BTW is her name Emmanuella or Progress?

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

TOMSY:
OP. Please follow this man's advice, and you'll win in two ways. One, when you don't have time for her anymore, shell be the one fighting for your attention. Two, your grades will not suffer. Remember you have a primary objective in school, and it must ALWAYS come first in any decision you make. God bless you.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?