Thanks you all.. I really appreciate your advice.... I'm so much grateful

mercy0008:
ATLEAST SHE IS HONEST WITH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING, DONT START WHAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE. THERE'S ALSO THE OPTION OF GOING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, WHEN GTHE RELATIONSHIP BECOMES SERIOUS EVERY WISE GIRL KNOWS THAT SHE SHOULD CUT DOWN ON THOSE EXCESSES. BUT IF SHE REFUSES TO, IT WONT BE HER FAULT BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU FROM THE BEGINNING.

Spot on!

zinnyzee:
I believe that you may be over-analyzing the situation a bit because it sounds like you’re wanting to know why rather than what. The thing is, you may not want to know why she’s not ready.

Chemistry is just one of those things that you don’t have control of. Attraction is not a choice. She may just not be ready for a relationship with you, rather than in general. This happens all the time and while it could be the result of conflicting feelings for a past relationship; further speculation is unnecessary because it’s her business and she doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone. You already know what it means when a girl says, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” It’s only natural to want to understand why but the thing is, it's none of your business and I say this with all due respect.

If this is the case, give her the gift of space and be her friend. In fact, withdrawing yourself can take a lot of stress off of her which can actually work out better for you in the long run. Don’t think of her as someone that you need to wait for because you shouldn’t. Value yourself and prioritize what’s good for you because she isn’t going to do that for you

wow, beauty and brain

Nope.

She's not ready to date you.
When a lady begins to tell you stuff like that, let it go. Else, you will get hurt and cry foul. Save yourself today.

Timekeeper:




Good one..... I do under but u no ladies with playing victim (sorry to say this)... I understand that I shud give her space but what if she later says I didn't fight for her love.... If I give her space simply bcox she is not ready emotionally mainly bcoz of her freedom like I typed above, she is a free type... If I take my space, she may say I didn't love her truly and that you I didn't fight for her

bro that's the point the lady you quoted is trying to make!
U must value and respect yourself enough to move on....that's giving her the space she needs since she is afraid of losing her freedom!

infact giving her the needed space by reducing ur calls to her and social media chats can actually make her see what she has really been missing which will influence her decision to change her current stance!

Please don't force urself on a lady who is not ready for a relationship!
U are too important and sophisticated to even hang around someone like that hoping for a change of mind from her!

akiOYIBO:

My guy, dont ever venture takless of trying what she just wrote.. U will just enta one chance forever with d girl

no matter the advice he get here!! There is no assurance it would be the right decision!! The only reason she is acting that way is because she doesn’t love u OP, so my dear if u love her date her n make her fall in love with u then u can talk to her about her freedom, u can’t be an ordinary toaster n expect her to change her life cause of you,, it’s not happening bro! Life is about risk, u won’t really know her till u try!! U don’t know how the next girl will be.

I met a girl. I was dumbfounded and always speechless whenever she comes around. After a month she friendzoned me but without knowing I asked her out she replied "am not ready". I asked her in what aspect, she said she's not just ready. I was devastated, felt so bad and sometimes couldn't feel the taste of meals. The next day she said she was only 20 and wants to make alot of friends, I was even more sad. I was determined to get her so I went to google, did alot of research and to my greatest surprise every information pionted to the fact that she frienzoned me and that I haven't done anything to attract her sexually- like eye contact, confidence, touching sensitive parts on her body. I was told to cut all information, caring or whateva she use to enjoy from me. She came to my house to next day and I asked her not to come to my house again without calling me- I saw the look in her eyes and throughout that I stayed confident and aloof. For days I did not call her, she called and I ignored. She came the next day I told her I had a female visitor all through yesterday and I was busy. She requested we buy corn as usual I asked her "its on u right?" she reluctantly said yes so she bought and we ate. I avoided her for two weeks, she started chasing me. She kissed me one night and was generously discussing her sexual history with, I was marveled for a girl of her age. Alot happened but sex became a daily meal. And I never had to care more, spend more or shiver at her presence.

My guy stop talking about marriage, or relationship to her. Focus on getting her sexually attracted. Bleep her if possible and she will be urs forever if u want. Don't be a wimp.

360great:
Thumbs up you really sabi the romance / love crew

Shugavee:
no matter the advice he get here!! There is no assurance it would be the right decision!! The only reason she is acting that way is because she doesn’t love u OP, so my dear if u love her date her n make her fall in love with u then u can talk to her about her freedom, u can’t be an ordinary toaster n expect her to change her life cause of you,, it’s not happening bro! Life is about risk, u won’t really know her till u try!! U don’t know how the next girl will be.

u are dishonest abt this. Must u ladies always be on d defensive?

Advice him correctly, tell him the truth. The girl friendzoned him to continue to loot and enjoy him without committing.

It has notin to do wit love, its sexual attraction.

tunjilana:
Bros...Emotionally detach yourself from her and play the game..don't take her too serious so u don't hurt urself or end up marrying somene who doesn't love you with her whole...

It is possible she is eyeing someone or trying to get with someone who isn't giving her attention or she is still holding out for her ex...don't be that guy...move ur heart far away from her...U may still be there physically sha in case u want sex with her but take off your mind...

And if she eventually comes around and says or act ready, be sure of why she is ready, be sure it is not cos she has bn used and dumped by someone else and then suddenly see u as available, be sure it isn't to get back at someone, be sure it isnt in a desperate bid to marry...

Marrying someone who pretend to love u is the biggest headache u can give urself...let her be...

superb

akiOYIBO:

u are dishonest abt this. Must u ladies always be on d defensive?

Advice him correctly, tell him the truth. The girl friendzoned him to continue to loot and enjoy him without committing.

It has notin to do wit love, its sexual attraction.

I hv said my peace,, he can choose to take it or not!

Shugavee:
I hv said my peace,, he can choose to take it or not!

Thanks

Op, you sound like a pussy. Stop cramping her style

Dump her in a heart beat. You don't deserve the emotional hold up of an unready and unserious lady unless you want to subject yourself to the swings of an emotional roller-coaster

When I was ur gals age, I told a guy the exact same thing she's telling u now..
I wanted freedom... Didn't want any guy calling me on the phone and asking me where I was, didn't want a guy telling me my dress is too short or way too tight..( on a general note, I didn't want a monitoring Spirit of a boyfriend)..

I think that shit comes with the age..

But along the line, I realized I needed someone that'll call me and ask how my day was, or if I arrived safely from my journey..
I didn't need friends, I needed a friend and a soulmate..


What am I even saying sef, don't rush her.
Just take it slowly, she'll definitely come around..

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady 1. you expressed your feelings to tells you that 2. she is not ready emotionally. I asked 3. emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and 4. been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? 4. I don't just want to rush and crush and 6. I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that 7. she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. 8. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that 9. but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, 10. I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time 11. we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... 12. But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect 13. a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, 14. if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... 15. I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, 16. I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n 17. I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later 18. she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... 19. I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

The above are your mistakes, and I'll explain. Before I explain, click that link below and read this first. https://www.nairaland.com/4659936/demonic-airforce1-vs-explorers-what/1#70028326

When you are done reading, let me know. If you miss this opportunity, you will regret.

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

Don't waste your time
She's a slut....

Guy baba,leave that small girl na,person pikin way just enter uni,say u want her to have a divided attention, partially focusing on her academics, n u fit still use the time sort ur yourself out n become ready for any Marital life in d future.Focus those ur attention n thoughts you are giving that girl on your career n yourself

zinnyzee:
I didn't mean you giving her space asin shrinking away from her... I meant you giving her space asin stop talking about relationship with her.

Just be her friend, try to be someone she can lean on. Make yourself her confidante. Don't shower her with unnecessary gifts( most sensible ladies don't like that.)
When you see her hanging out with her male friends on campus, say hi to her and them with a friendly face and smile.

When you call her, ask about the welfare of her friends. Remind her she can talk to you about anything and everything. Let her know you're not gonna hinder her friendship with anyone since no one hindered yours with hers(Ladies love to hear that?

Get her to talk about her padt relationships with you, if there's any. Just talk, talk, talk with her. Kissing happens during the course of talking and so many other things follow.


It's not really that hard, buddy.

This my dear, is the ultimate road to the Friendzoneville. But still a nice advice.

zinnyzee:
I didn't mean you giving her space asin shrinking away from her... I meant you giving her space asin stop talking about relationship with her.

Just be her friend, try to be someone she can lean on. Make yourself her confidante. Don't shower her with unnecessary gifts( most sensible ladies don't like that.)
When you see her hanging out with her male friends on campus, say hi to her and them with a friendly face and smile.

When you call her, ask about the welfare of her friends. Remind her she can talk to you about anything and everything. Let her know you're not gonna hinder her friendship with anyone since no one hindered yours with hers(Ladies love to hear that?

Get her to talk about her padt relationships with you, if there's any. Just talk, talk, talk with her. Kissing happens during the course of talking and so many other things follow.


It's not really that hard, buddy.

no offence intended to the person i'm quoting, but baba if you do what this person is saying she go friendzone you o. she will never take you serious at all. she will only see you as one of those admirers she can use or on her beck and call. From what you have written, what i can deduce is that she doesn't want a committed relationship just yet. she wants to be free to explore her fantasies without being caged in a relationship, atleast not yet, while she has the opportunities. And from all indication you seem to her like someone who will be monitoring and policing her if she gives in to you in the name of love and it will be choking and irritating for her. how it works out between the both of you depends on what you want. If you are desperate for something serious then cut her off. But if you are open to just having fun then play along with her, and don't ask her out again. just start acting like she is already your girl friend when she is around you. But when she leaves your side just ignore her totally by allowing only her to be the one calling or chatting you up. Even when she complains about it don't change. otherwise she will friendzone you. Act cozy, friendly, romantic when she is around, but when she is not with you just ignore her completely. And watch how the tide will change in your favour. Thats how you handle this kind of girls.

zinnyzee:
It's not my fault if you left your sense somewhere before reading my comment.


But, for the sake of ur sanity... Try to read and assimilate next time before you attack someone.

Abeg park well please.That's how you ladies do. Looking for mumu guy.

Am fazing the sane issue here!!

IBBG:
no offence intended to the person i'm quoting, but baba if you do what this person is saying she go friendzone you o. she will never take you serious at all. she will only see you as one of those admirers she can use or on her beck and call. From what you have written, what i can deduce is that she doesn't want a committed relationship just yet. she wants to be free to explore her fantasies without being caged in a relationship, atleast not yet, while she has the opportunities. And from all indication you seem to her like someone who will be monitoring and policing her if she gives in to you in the name of love and it will be choking and irritating for her. how it works out between the both of you depends on what you want. If you are desperate for something serious then cut her off. But if you are open to just having fun then play along with her, and don't ask her out again. just start acting like she is already your girl friend when she is around you. But when she leaves your side just ignore her totally by allowing only her to be the one calling or chatting you up. Even when she complains about it don't change. otherwise she will friendzone you. Act cozy, friendly, romantic when she is around, but when she is not with you just ignore her completely. And watch how the tide will change in your favour. Thats how you handle this kind of girls.

.

sommyboi:


This my dear, is the ultimate road to the Friendzoneville. But still a nice advice.

.

If a lady tells you she doesn't want to date you cos. of her freedom, Oboy just let her be oo, cos if you pressure her into dating you you'll surely regret it.

I met a girl like that, she told me she values her freedom, but whenever I call we talk a lot and not a single attitude is given, so I concluded she was into me, so I forced her in to dating me, Atleast I thought I did.

I started noticing the attitude and she was always with guys in the school, I acted like it didn't get to me, but with time I became frustrated cos there's this guy he's always with, always!!

finally, it was her friend that told me not to kill myself over her cos I was so madly in love with her, that she has another that controls her like mugu, Na when my eyes clear be dat, but the love didn't die, I had to wash her off my system like someone in rehab, fell sick and all before I pulled thru..

So oga, don't tow that lane oo, BTW is her name Emmanuella or Progress?

girls are evil, they know how to spot a man that has baby brains and confuse him with useless replies when asked out....see as the small girl dey confuse this one brain.
lemme advice you bro, what she means is that she's not feeling u simple, and dats the most polite way she could tell u. you've got two options, never talk about ur feelings for her to her again, meet other girl and treat her like one of ur male friends with no special female favours....or keep doing like a baby and watch her keep confusing u and turn u into something worst Dan a friendzoned nigger. you're a man, u should be the one confusing girls not the other way round... man the fork up.

Timekeeper:
What does it mean when a lady you expressed your feelings to tells you that she is not ready emotionally. I asked emotional in what aspect? She was like she is this kind of free person and been in a relationship will restrict her freedom. To be sincere, since I have been close to this lady, I noticed that she is truly free (as in male friends and so on) but I'm not sure if she is dating anyone... But as a guy I reason am, can I cope with a lady that is so free ? I don't just want to rush and crush and I Wana take time to think about it... I told her that she has her freedom but as a decent lady, even freedom shud be limited.

Ladies, I know you must have felt this at one stage of your life. What do you expect a guy to do to convince you or make u ready? Seriously on campus, I don't really befriend ladies like that but this particular lady, I like her so much.. Within the space of 3 weeks, I have called her countless times on phone and she never gave me attitude. Most time we even meet in the night and talk for hours. Then I concluded in my mind that if this lady doesn't really like me, she wouldn't have given me all these attention... But her fear is her freedom, she doesn't want to lose her freedom... As a guy too, I respect her freedom but I expect a lady freedom shud be limited especially if she is in a relationship.

Ladies help me out, if God will do it for me like I want it, I want to know her parents and wife her in the few years to come but the only problem I have now is the freedom she talked about... I have read and experience so many things on nairaland and others too about ladies brouhaha Cox of freedom and so on but I don't Wana experience this...

Note: if a lady tells me that she can't date me Cox she is dating sumone else or doesn't feel for me, I know that as a man of value, I will walk away forever. But didn't say that, she just said emotionally n I asked to know if it was past experience, she said no.. Later she opened up to me that her freedom will be tampered with... Honestly, before me met yesternyt, my spirit told me that this lady will consider her freedom and she didn't disappoint me when I told her how I feel about her... I can't give up Cox of her freedom but I can give up if she is not interested at all. Ladies understand me...

Wonderful ladies of nairaland, I trust you that you can help me out.. What can I do pls?

Help me push to front page. God bless

Timekeeper:


Read through again.. I can't and don't know how to force a lady.. I just came here to understand what freedom means to ladies.. That's why u directed my questions to the ladies in particular... Pls be gentle

sorry
my comment came from these parts in bold which showed you asking for tips on what will make ladies change their mind from the freedom they (this girl in particular wants ) to the relationship you want. not how to understand what freedom means to ladies

and the last part in particular where you said you can't give up because of her freedom but you can if she isn't interested,
to me,
you were basically saying you don't respect her wish for freedom, you can't respect her wish because it doesn't make sense to you, but you want to date her? you want to date someone who you won't respect what the person says as long as it doesn't make sense to you? even if it means a lot to her? this is somehow

which is why I posted this

Daeylar:
A girl told you what she wants,
you came here looking for us to give you tips on how to disregard what she wants, so that you can get what you selfishly want as if the relationship is only about you and what you want.

however if you say that is not what you are asking for then all right.

Viicfuntop:



That’s true but the iPhone remains expensive and literally almost everyone uses it.

Everyone you say? In a country where only 40% has DSTV.....How many would have iPhone?

iClef:


The above are your mistakes, and I'll explain. Before I explain, click that link below and read this first. https://www.nairaland.com/4659936/demonic-airforce1-vs-explorers-what/1#70028326

When you are done reading, let me know. If you miss this opportunity, you will regret.

I'm done reading.... I can't do those things u said n I can't be d bad guy u want me to be.... I prefer to be rejected than act as a bad guy Cox of girl.... Whether nice or bad, ur lady will come...

Hmmmm u r d one forcing her now ohhh.
I don't want to hear pemmmm from u tomoro ohh

Oyerinde16:
cos u are obviously free with guys as well

Yeah I am