Les: even if she needs to, she shouldn't cos she has already cried and suffered enough. @op, You are a very good strong gal, but along the line you made a big bad terrible mistake. Lemme tell you dat life's like a stage and this your sad story is just like a stage in your life. Your mistake is that you failed your virginity and your kids(no offence cos i actually do feel for you). For the fact that you have failed doesn't mean you won't pass again! If just ONE and ONLY can you LEARN from your MISTAKES you made in just a moment, you can PASS every other STAGES in every MOMENT of your LIFE, WISE up cos you a GREAT woman. If you know tins that you do that can make you feel better even if it's hating That NoNE SENSE , IDIO.T BORN FO.OL WIT PASSION!(mind you hating men won't help at ol though you can shunn dem 4 now and move on,but it'll help if you would pray 4 God's comfort), please do it, you have my 2000% support!

tuaregx: The fastes reason to dump a girl is due to commom sence.....I can never pity the poster....FOUR abortions...that is ur punishment for genocide....gush plsss guys let's be careful the girl we marry and carry out investigations properly...I don't blame the guy...ow many guy will marry a lady with four abortions.....she is useless as far as am concerned......USELESS and HOPELESS

mai gaskiya: My swet lets tak everytn 2be a juvenile displays of artitude.my advice is 4u 2 get along wit ur lyf until he is marid becos dat convinent is strong so y i said so is if he ask 4ur 4gvenes then do.except u mak a move nw 2 destroy d convenamt eidr thru meetng ur pastors or cmg out frm ur house by 12am mak d pronuncement dat ure broken d oath snce u hav fufild ur part nd he hasnt nd dat u wont 2 go on wit ur lyf nd let d consequences of breakng d oath fal on d defaulter nd nw ure gong wit ur lyf nd let god juge hm.finsh.nd rember ordinarily d oath wil afect u cos u fufild ur part bt he dat defaultd bt d esence is 4u 2 break d oath by d word of mouth.gud luk

galaxi: I can't judge the guy from with this poster wrote cause i had a similar case after graduation,my ex went around telling friends how wicked i am but the fact was that i caught her cheating & also saw an sms wia a guy was telling her how sweet she was on the bed.I never had chance 2 explain to most people she told about our break up,so before we cruxify the guy i think we should hear his part of his the story.Once U get commited to a gal expecially abortion she tend to take advantage of it &flirt around.

pupolove: I really Feel for you. sorry about what happen to you.just unfortunate ,as for the guy just leave him for GOD he will surely get the reward. you need to move on with your life.forget about him and move on. something like this almost happen to me too i dated a lady for 8 years but no sex for 7 years we had misunderstanding during this period and we are able to resolve it becos have taken her to be part of my life. i love her so much that even distance can not seperate us she stays in PH i stay in lagos then no GSM i only use land phone and visit her often. today she is my wife with 2 kids. Your guy was unnable to decide what he want. he is playing with his life . just pray very well and forget about him. i can tell you i miss my wife every min that is the result of true love. I pray God will forgive you for the abortion and give you a good home. you are bless.

slimport:
Oloriburuku ni won, na so den dey do, u knw wat girlffrnd, I knw its painful, I feel ur pain seriously, I knw wat u r going tru, that's dem for u, they r not worth it, just gather urself together and move on. My dear, he's not coming back but for real, he's going to regret it. That one is sure. I understand ur feelings . God will see u tru. Dnt chase ur admirers away pls, give them chance but be careful, dnt rush. And God will give u ur own husband. The lord is your strenght

Jaykizz: I feel ur pain n agony. I wont blame u coz u ar a woman.
I want to adv dat u b patient n try to get evrytin off ur mind 4 a lng tym 1st. Plz dnt listn to any guy outsyd 4 nau coz dy kan b deadlier dan dis guy. Jst kp tinz kul n pray vry hard. N bsyds, c a man of god (nt necesarily ur pastor) 4 counselin.
I strongly blv if u patient he wl kom beggin bt neva mak tinz easy 4 hm evn if u gona date hm

nicole9: Good afternoon. I am a 22yr old girl dating a guy of 28. Please I urgently need your advice.This is my story.

I met this guy I am dating now when I was 15 years old. Then, I was in SS2 when we became friends. He was intelligent, smart, but came from a fairly middle background, but not poor.I did not particularly mind about his background even though I came from an upper middle class family. He later asked me out and I declined at first, but along the line I fell in love with him and I agreed to date him when I was in SS3.

I was a virgin at that time. I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and he agreed to wait. He waited for a year until I finished secondary school and he gained admission into the university. He loved me so much that he wanted me to take a covenant with him which I refused because I had heard that it was not good, and we forgot about it. So one day, I went to visit him as usual and one thing led to another, and we had sex unexpectedly. I was scared that since he has slept with me, he would break up with me but he assured me of his love and that he would not do such a thing to me. He then brought up the covenant issue again and at that point, I thought that is not a bad idea after all, since he said he was going to marry me.

So we made a blood covenant. We cut ourselves with blade, and then mixed the blood with water which we both drank and took oaths not to leave each other even until death. We also took an oath that we would to marry each other. We made other several covenants, like he was the only man that would see my unclothedness and use me until I am old. I also said the same to him but this covenant was not with blood and we read Ruth 1: 1-16 -17 during this also.

The relationship went on well and I gained admission into the university he was attending, so it was easy for us. However, I later got pregnant in March that year and we were scared. We were not experienced in any way about drugs to take and he said he couldn't use a condom on a woman he intends to marry. We thought of keeping it but we did not have the resources and we also couldn't think of telling our parents, so we made a decision to abort it.

The relationship continued and that same year again I got pregnant in November. I removed that one too. The following year, I got pregnant again in March which I removed later. In May that same year, the same thing happened and I removed it. Although, he was by my side in all these and that was when I said I would never do abortion again in my life. I said then that if I get pregnant again, I will go ahead and have the baby. Our relationship continued, but in the next year he started acting funny like he was loosing interest in the relationship, he didn’t tell me but I could guess but all still went well. That was the same year he graduated while I was just entering my final year in the university. Since he was in lagos awaiting NYSC and I was in school, it looked as if we were drifting apart. I tried my best to get along with him, which we did though.

When he came to school for clearance, we got along well too. Although, then we had a little misunderstanding which made him to travel in annoyance without us settling the problem. Later I apologized on phone and we were on good terms. He even called to tell me he was posted to the North and it was a two day journey from Lagos which he wasn’t happy about . After camp, he tried working his service back to lagos, but it didn’t work out, so he had to go back to the North and during all this time, we could not see one on one because I was in school writing my project.

After some time he didn’t communicate with me like he used. No calls, text or even a flash and, so I was scared and worried, and still tried my best to communicate with him. I called him and we talked. Then when it was almost time for him to come home for the Christmas holidays, he told me that he was in love with someone else but he still felt for me. I was heart broken. I asked him "why all this?" and then he said that I caused it and that we didn’t see each other for close to eight months, and that was why it happened. Then again, he later apologized that he would call it off with her and which he did when he found out the girl was playing him.

During the Christmas holiday, he apologized for everything, and we continued our relationship, but that time he told me that he slept with the girl he cheated on me with and that nothing happened to him and that meant that the covenant was not working, but I said nobody knows, you can never tell what will happen. However, I was scared within me and hoped that nothing would go wrong. I thought that since he had slept with another woman, it was possible that he would try it again, but I tried to get that off my mind.

We became close again and he later went to complete his NYSC program after the holiday was over, and by then I had also graduated. He assured me of his love and we always kept in touch when he went back. But all of a sudden, everything changed. I called him one day when he was about to complete his NYSC program around May and he told me he wanted to be alone and that I should look for another man to marry. He said that he was not ready to settle down. This was was someone I spoke to just two weeks back and all appeared to be well. I was confused. I called to ask him why? I asked if I offended him and he said no, that he just wanted to be alone. Then, I knew that there was a girl involved, so I told his sister everything because his parents and sisters knew me as the girl he intended to marry as he had introduced me to them long ago. His sister told me that all will be well and that I should just be patient and that when he returned to Lagos in June, they (the family) would sit him down and talk to him.

After much pleading with him to tell me why he was behaving like this, he told me that he has seen another girl he loves so much and wants to marry. I asked him, "what about the covenant we took?" and then he told me that someone told him that the covenant would not work because we mixed d blood with water before saying all what we said. That day when he told me this, I cried my eyes out.

I have not been myself since then. This is a man I had looked up to as my husband. Someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I removed four kids for. Someone who took my most prized possession, my virginity and pride. I have pleaded with him in any way possible, but to no avail. He neither felt remorse nor even tried to call me. I called him one fatetul day and I found out that he had deleted my number. He asked who I was. That day I felt like crying. Then he gave the phone to his new girlfriend telling me that she wanted to speak to me. That the woman he wanted to marry wanted to speak to me. When the girl collected the phone from him, she asked who I was. At that point, I was so dumbfounded that I had to cut the call. I later sent him a text and gave him a piece of my mind. I told him that God would repay him in his own coin and that the blood of my kids would fight for me.

The girl read the text with him, and this made the girl to keep calling and asking who I was. Once I knew that the girl would not stop, I told her that I was the girlfriend he had been dating for six years and broke up with because of her but that I had noting against her in my heart.

I made up my mind not to call my boyfriend again, but he later sent me a text me two days later asking why I told the girl that he just broke up with me and that she was the one he loves and wants to marry. I told his sister later everything that happened later on. His mother told me not to worry and that he would still come to Lagos this June, and that at least the girl was in the North. She said that everything would be resolved, but I believe that it is the man that has say in all of this and I have decided in my mind to let everything go, since he doesnt love me again. I decided that if it was meant to be, then it would have been.

However, I want to say this, I still love him and I am badly hurt by all that has happened. I am also still scared about the covenant. I have lost it all. I just need your advice and prayers badly because I am so lost. I don’t know where to start from? Even though I still have admirers, I have not been able to open my heart to any man till now. Please help!

What would you do if you were in this girl's shoes?

chumafresh: God knows about dis,let him fight your battle for you

Olami90: honestly,freecocoa is saying my mind......i am repeating it dt d gal involved is a bitch....i wil nvr blame d guy alone,dt gal lack self-worth...hw on earth can u kip a guy wit sex wen dia are million gurls dt he can do it wit better.,...d gurl is seriously crazy 4 goin to dt lenght.....jst tink gurls need to wisen up

brito: The act of sex b/4 marriage and the abortions that follows are serious iniquities against the Almighty God. Let her confess it to God and ask for mercy
and forgiveness. The bible says: "in the days of ignorance the Lord winked at" She has entered those covenant out of her ignorance, but again
its not an excuse for Satan not to manipulate on. Sincerely start a new beginning as a christian, meet a true Pastor let him counsel you and break the
covenant. Do not trivialize the covenant you both freely made, it will have an antecedent consequence in your future. Above all pray for God's mercy and a new beginning. Heed this godly advice, YOU WILL SMILE VERY SOON!!

Baba Ibada: What an experience! If the story is exactly the way you narrated it,I feel so sorry that a kind-hearted babe like you is going through all these. But who am I to venture into blaming the guy coz I'm sure if she is a nairalander perhaps my ex-girl friend would have come up with a piece closely similar to urs about me. As a matter of fact I had to read every word of your piece with serious attention to be sure that this story isn't from my ex. Please do me a favour to read my own story to the end if you can.

I dated her for 8 yrs and it was my first real experience of boy-girl relationship. I loved her and respected her and she reciprocated this too. She was still looking for admission when I was in 300 level and we lived together for months. At some point I started noticing that her movement was becoming strange, I suspected that she was up to something while I remained faithful as always. About this time I discovered I had an STI of which I didn't sleep with no one but her. I explained to her but she said she might have contacted it in toilet. I struggled to believe her but the trust I had in her was fast declining. When she gained admission I began to notice some strange telephone conversation and I once came across a message she sent to her ex but sincerely there was nothing too sinister in the content apart from the fact that she had already to me she had lost contact with the guy. The suspicion was becoming crazy such that at every opporunity I always searched her phone and got some reasons to suspect her in some ocassions. I had travelled down to her school during my NYSC year without informing her, I got there very late in the night but there was nothing apart from the fact that I met her eating fried egg with plantain when she had told me earlier on the phone that she would only manage 'concoction rice' for dinner but I met her all alone in the room.

Early in the morning of the third day of my impromptu visit a message came through to her phone but she was asleep I opened the message and it read "why are treating me like this, is it because I don't have another girl here?" She didn't give me any good explanation about this as our argument nearly turned to a serious fight.
I then met a girl and asked her out but I felt I was only doing that to have some back up in case things didn't work out between us. This new girl was a virgin and I disciplined myself not to have sex with her as I wasn't sure I would marry her but my attention had become divided and my movement began to become strange to my girl. She started searching my phone to and we began to quarel incessantly.

Expectedly we had some abortions which could be up to or more than the ones you had dear poster but in none of this cases did I accompany her to do the abortion, infact she made abortion look so simple to me with the way she put herself together after abortion except on one very occasion she was almost forced me to go with her and was so down after doing it and something kept telling me that was the only one she really did.

I continued dating the other girl until my girl told me she was pregnant again this happened shortly after my NYSC and I had already started managing some job where I served. I was still suspicious that she might not be pregnant but wanted to get some money from me in the name of abortion then I told her we would not abort this yet I had strange feelings not really about who is responsible for the pregnancy but about wether or not the pregnancy was real. She was in her third year in Uni at this time but on holiday and I gave her 120k to use find some buying and selling just to keep herself busy and well exercised.

I changed my attitude to the new babe and eventually called it quit with her knowing that I was about to become a father. My girl and I agreed that we would let our families know when the pregnancy would be 3 months coz I was still wary of my popsy's probable reaction inspite of not being fed by him any longer. One morning about the time when we were to inform our families, I got a call from her friend that she was rushed to the hospital. At this point my mind went back to my initial suspicion and guess what, she spoke to me with a trembling voice that she had just lost the prgnancy for a cause I couldn't make any sense of. I also suspected the hospital she claimed she was rushed to coz there was a hospital close to her house where she normally went any time she fell sick. I went as far as looking for someone unknown to her to go to the said hospital and confirm if she was there but I could get anyone unfortunately.

She had used 21K out of the money I gave her for petty business for treatment according to her. Sincerely I didn't believe her and started feeling uninterested in her but I couldn't call it quit as I kept thinking of the yrs we've been together and her age. I realised that I was pretending to still love her while hoping sth naturally broke us up. We started quarelling at any slight opportunity yet she wouldn't act like a woman in any case.

I met another girl at this time, I really had strong affection for this girl but still thought it wasn't going to work as my girl wouldn't leave me. This new girl was a final year student as was a virgin too, as a matter of principle I didn't make attempt to sleep with her but I truly loved and wanted her. I decided to carry on with both with the hope that things would sort themselves out.

I got a schorlarship to study abroad and evrything was set. Both girls were aware of this and each of them asked me asked ne to at least meet their parents before I travelled even if I can't do any big introduction. I forced myself to visit the parents of my first girl cos we lived in the same town and I had no excuse to say no eventhough I wished there was one but I couldn't meet the other's parents cos I would have to travel far besides I wasn't sure how things would be despite the fact that I had realised that she's exactly the kind of lady I wish to marry. She even offered to see me off to the airpot but i dodged cos I had been closemarked by the first girl who would later become my ex.

Honestly I shouldn't venture into talking about how I stuggled to keep my mind of the the first girl coz I am tired pressing the keybord but I broke up with her. I found the other girl more suitable, I felt I had taken a wrong step before meeting the right person and I swear this doesn't have to do with anything aside personal preferences and what had happened in the past. Unlike you boyfriend I still showed some remorse and respect knowing that she will be affected to matter what, I am particularly worried about the lenght of the relationship. I didn't oppress her and felt sorry that things didn't work out as planned.

I didn't want to marry her because I had to coz the level of trust had gone below a level that can sustain marriage. I can't explain how sorry I feel not by admitting any giult but just being human. Unlike your case, I wasn't her first boy friend and contrary to your attitude she has been all over me and my family threatening me and doing all sort of things. But I always wish her well with a strong conviction that the step I took was only meant to avoid greater problem in future but I admit that I had my fault too.