People hold elaborate weddings, go to church and take the oath for better or worse, they enjoy the better but protest vehemently against the worst!

This situation is a case of a chronic gambler struggling with addiction, there's no sign of violence just a man that you knew was a gambler and you married him anyways, now you're acting all new as if his behavior is strange to you.

Now you want to leave him, take his offspring and leave him in a state where he's even more susceptible to his gambling demons.....Women!

Let me shock you some more, if this guy actually hammered from his gambling, I can confidently say that you wouldn't have problem with it, you wouldn't see it as a bad role model for your child and that in itself says a lot!

Now with that said, leaving him is probably the best solution for this situation. It will either break or make him! Since rehabilitation is a foreign concept to most Nigerians, the man must be baptized through trials and tribulations, there's simply no other way! He must hit rock bottom before iyanu can shele!

airsaylongcome:


Your final summary is the crux of all our back and forth really. Every other thing we are doing is just mental gymnastics. If the business doesn't see a need to, we go just "spoil" our voice shouting on each other. If they decide to go the phone number route, na bye-bye from me. Loads of forums to spend time on rather than one that wants my phone number. Many people seem to forget that this is a forum and not a Facebook or Instagram for example

That's right, at the end of the day, the owner must balance the cost and effect between people like you who would say bye bye and the risk of being shutdown again by a host or other regulatory body.

airsaylongcome:


MAC addresses will be spoofed. And this isn't from malicious attacks. iPhones can randomize your MAC for privacy reasons. I regularly turn it on. Add that to VPN and tools like Tor, that's going to be easy to beat

I write scripts and develop algorithms for a living, I can easily detect randomized MAC, VPN, any solution is better than the rubbish that exists now. My preference and the easier solution would be to require multi factor authentication for all users. Your Nairaland account is tied to your phone number, your phone number can never be a virtual or pseudo phone number(Google voice) but an actual number tied to a device but like you said it affects user base.

Ultimately, where there's a will, there's a way......The only person that can give a definite answer is Seun! Only he can say Niaraland is bringing so so in terms or frevenue and he's willing to spend so and so to sanitize it and protect it from trolls and spammers! You & I can argue all day but the ball's in his court!

airsaylongcome:


As far as I know, there are no such restrictions on reddit as a forum. Individual subredds may place a limitation of age of account being like 20 days or having say 100 karma. But bots get around that pretty easily. That's why you have karma farms there. That doesn't solve the problem, it only kicks it down the road.

As for tying each account to an IP address, I'm sure you know that no one gets a unique IP address. Tying accounts to phone numbers, kiss your user base good bye

Subreds are part of reddit hence I maintain my stance, there is some type of limitation. Further it is really easy to validate based on Ip address tied to a MAC address, the intention here is to limit bots/spammers and make the ban system more effective, if the system detects more than one registeration from a MAC address within a month, that address should be flagged and suspended, new accounts should be limited from sensitive forums like politics and religion, this will effectively demoralize Nairaland trolls......If Nairaland is to survive in this new age, it must combat this problem through technology and innovation!

airsaylongcome:


What value would verification add? Do more successful forums like reddit have verification? And what value add to the business would "individual profile beautification" bring? Understand that a business will only make changes if it brings quantifiable revenue.

Yes they do, Reddit for example, you are restricted from certian activities based on your registeration date and reputation. In fact certain subs can limit you based on other criterias. Verification is not just at time of registeration but an on-going process.

The single most effective solution for Nairaland is to tie each account to a verified phone number and an I.P. address, it is fairly simple to do and will reduce the spammers and abusers down to an acceptable level.

It burst my brain that some people are still so clueless how certain things work! Why would you travel from the USA and decide to do a cross country tour of Africa via road, ALL ALONE? Being a professor, surely he knew of current events and how dangerous things are right now, I sincerely believe the false sense of security and entitlement provided abroad made you think the same applies in Africa especially in Nigeria......Joker!

This is someone's grandfather, someone should have hinted him on just how bad of an idea this was, even those of us who were raised to be street smart still encounter difficulties when traveling to Nigeria not to talk of Professor dingbat that does not realize we have known and unknown gunmen in Nigeria, the known ones are the police and the unknown ones are the others......JI MA SUN!

Foolishness of the highest order, you knew all his atrocities but you kept quiet because it was still favoring you and your cohorts.....Now that things are no longer rosy again, GBAM,......You remember the people of Rivers.......WEREY

Definitely illegal money, no family carries that amount of cash to Nigeria, this is 2023 not 1999. Dorm accounts, wire transfers, crypto, Western Union etc. So many options but Ogbon Sodiq people dey always over calculate......Cheers Fam!

WE ARE NOTHING BUT PENCILS IN THE HANDS OF THE CREATOR........

Oluwatobiloba07:
You talk like an empty barrel you're, I'm a Corper, I teach chemistry and I know what I'm saying

God have help me that I have never and will never do such things because I have sisters. Everyone should just ask for God's grace whenever the situation arises

A sixteen year old girl asking, uncle are you not going to hotel for your birthday. I just laughed and called her to staff room and talk sense to her.

She opened up that she can't help the matter especially seeing someone she likes.

Assuming you are with knowledge, you won't say all this rubbish above.

Imagine a parents sending her daughter to you, just to give you food and the parents is aware of the rubbish the daughter is putting on to a single man house

Let me just stop here. Next time don't talk with your height because you're short of knowledge and understanding

Talk with sense and reality of life

Again you're daft! You're a corper arguing with someone that served almost 15 years ago, you see say you're mental? Which kind temptation you wan face wey we never faced before? Some of us live in a civilized country and the first thing they teach you about underaged victims is that the law will always expect the adult to be the voice of reason! Your excuses are just lame and foolish, temptation, what she's wearing blah blah blah.....Don't worry you'll soon be dropping the soap in the slammer, continue!

Oluwatobiloba07:
How do you cope when female students are the one begging for it

Uncle I want to know your house
Some even go ahead and write love letters

It takes God grace to overcome challenges like this.. it's not easy especially when you're single.

Men are moved by what they see

I'll tell you how you cope......When you think about the prison sentence and the damage to your reputation, that should be incentive enough......Of course since you live in a zoo country, the law is very slow to catch up or care but if na sane country, you would eventually meet your waterloo either via the law or a parent with 9mm aiming for the middle of your head!

Iamgrey5:
He is fighting common sense along with the Erelu.

Even in the palace of Oba of Lagos, Yoruba is used as the only language.

You know what they say, na over calcu dey worry most of us....Awon ogbon sodiq

Kukutenla:

Dummy. I meant that the British who met Yorubas in Oyo should be speaking Yoruba right now. What we're discussing is acculturation. It's not set in stone. The Romans colonised so many lands but deliberately did not allow most areas they colonised to learn their language as a distinction between rulers and the ruled.
The British and French on the other hand chose to impose their language on their colonies.
You can't use that to decide who met who or when

You're still ignorant, you just admitted cultures differs yet you compare the Romans with the British. Go back to your comment that I responded to, you were seemingly asking why Yorubas ended up speaking English but you failed to state as opposed to what exactly?

Kukutenla:

You're simply confusing yourself. Your claim before was premised on who ruled over the other.
The British met Yoruba in Oyo and today Yorubas are speaking English. How do you reconcile that

You mean we speak English before Yoruba? You're mental . Focus on the point made, if Yorubas met Bini, is it not proper that a large percentage of Yorubas in Lagos would speak Bini language as well?

KingOfAmebo:


Not knowing a leader has influence on his followers...no be juju be that?

Followers that have the power to overthrow a leader, those ones are the ones you want to completely influence? E.g. passing the budget without the SUV for the lawmakers, you want to start a riot?

It is easy to hide behind a keyboard and fantasize about theories but practical fit run you wotowoto.....When the country is serious for true change, it will come via a bloody revolution, for now make we all DEY PLAY!

KingOfAmebo:


Good you agree Tinubu isn't fit to be Nigeria's President, why then did you vote a desperate unfit old man to be your President?

Well we've had fitter presidents from Obasanjo to GEJ, what did they accomplish? Majority of una still dey ignorant for this platform, one man does not decide what happens in a country, una focus on president but leave una governors and legislators to loot as they please.....No be juju be that?

KingOfAmebo:


Leave Penguin2 alone and open your bat eyes to see who is sitting properly amongst the two of them, Tinubu is sitting like someone with hunch back while his old host is sitting properly. Oh I forgot, bats are blind.

Pray make nothing happen to you to ever require back and leg surgery . You've never seen 40 year old retired sport players walk with a limp? You've never seen cancer survivors or sickle cell patients look weaker than grandpas in their 70s?

If life happens to you wahlahi you fit dey waka like person wey don shit for body

Magnoliaa:


That is the argument.

In fact, I only quoted you because you said that 'we' are reducing women to baby-making machines. And I said, 'no.' That was not the OP's point, and neither is it my point or anyone else supporting the OP (because I have read through the thread). Just acknowledge that if you and a woman decide to have babies, then getting pregnant and going through labour is a very tangible, important contribution she's 'bringing to the table.' And even if she doesn't bring anything materially, as most men expect, it is not a reason to cast such a woman as (being) useless. Breastfeeding and nurturing both of your child is a contribution to a relationship.

I am done here. You can have a good day.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, pregnancy and childbirth is not something you bring to a marriage, it is a natural part of it, yes it presents certain dangers and sacrifices but it is still a normal part of marital expectations! This cannot be what you bring to a marriage and call it done and dusted! This is a disservice to all females out there and I will never agree to such train of thought especially since I have a daughter who INSHALLAH will be more than a baby making factory to her future husband......I REST MY CASE.....PEACE!

Magnoliaa:


Pregnancy and labour are a big sacrifice on a woman's part for the family. It is something to bring 'to the table'. That's all I have said here and cared about.


Anything else you're saying are simply strawman arguments.

The post is simply for some of y'all to see labour and carrying a baby to term as a very tangible thing a woman can bring to a relationship.

Yet the argument was never about it not being tangible, my premise remains the same. It CAN'T be the ONLY thing a woman brings to the table, you having a child is not a favor to your man, just like a man's risking his life to provide financially is not a favor to his woman.

You can make babies yayyyyyyyy but is that all you're good for? Okay fine I don't want kids at least not until you're old and in menopause then what? What ya gonna do? . Do you still have a purpose in the marriage or will your world suddenly unravel? I'm simply saying women gotta be worth more than just a baby making machine.....Ya dig?

Magnoliaa:


Good sex is a value to any relationship.

Any good thing anybody brings to a relationship is a positive addition. Knowing how to vook, knowing how to fix things around the house, being a kind, considerate person. Virtually anything that you're adding to another's life in a way that improves them or the quality of a relationship is a value. Even having a listening ear, being empathetic, motivating, mentally stimulating.

The problem with y'all is when you start to reduce people to the roles or a single role they perform in a relationship, especially without reciprocating back. So yeah, bodies, peenises and vaginas do not carry a worth in themselves, but they can provide worth through sex, cuddles and other intimate acts. Admiring a partner's body can also be aesthetically pleasing.

And then different things people bring to a relationship obviously differs on a scale of value.

Pregnancy and labour are a 50/50 thing between life and death. In what school where you thought to equate that to sex?

The risks and the consequences that comes with that outweigh any benefit or disappointment you'll be getting from sex. Women's bodies drastically changes, and out of the control most times, with pregnancy. Have you ever heard of a person getting vitiligo from pregnancy? I've seen one.

Changes to all of the five senses come with pregnancy and the crazy thing is, what happens to one woman cannot be predicted for another woman. Even 5 pregnancies to one woman is a different experience each time.

So I am asking you: on what basis are you comparing this to getting hard or wet?

So judging by the bold part of your comment you feel pregnancy is a favor to the man? You don't see it as a natural part of any marriage? If that's the case, would you equate the risk/danger to a man that risks his life everyday to provide for his family?

Would most women be content with a man that says he does not want kids? Would most women consider such a man an ideal partner? So basically you're saying women willingly take on this danger and should be rewarded and that it can't be compared to for example, men who willingly put themselves in danger to provide financially for their family? Please make it make sense!

Magnoliaa:


No, nobody is saying that.

Respecting someone for something and acknowledging what they do, are offering, are capable of, etc., is not reducing them to that thing/function.

Saying child-bearing is a major + any woman brings 'to the table' =/= women are meant for (only) child-bearing.

Isn't that the same as saying a man that only brings huge prick or very good in bed is a plus to the marriage......Keyword here is ONLY! If a woman's only plus is her baby making skills......Is that not an insult to such a woman. I already stated earlier, I won't spend millions to send my daughter to a top notch school only for one guy to tell her you know what, just stay home and make babies

Rukevwe999:

The thing is that when we begin to measure our partners by "what they bring to the table", the relationship starts to become transactional and we begin to measure them by what they give us, which they will not be able to fulfill all the time. And when a relationship starts taking a transactional route, selfishness abounds. Relationship is about giving.
Yes, we are supposed to hold our partners to certain standards and our specific roles must be defined.
See, the thing is a man's life is about service. Men are held at a higher standard that is why we are above women and hold more leadership positions. We lead our relationships, forget that woke trash about equality, men always carry the bigger burden of relationship and the society. Leaders are leaders because they carry the higher burden and responsibility, and women to an extent are just consumers. Pregnancy itself is not an easy task for both partners.

On the thing about pregnancy, women don't joke about reproduction. In fact it's inbuilt in them. Why do you think little girls love to cradle their dolls like babies ? If you've seen most childless couples you'll notice that it's always the women who are mostly desperate than the men. Even some of the most empowered women seek meaning in having children and nurturing them. Forget what some feminists say, some are products of dysfunctional families. It's not about turning a woman into a baby factory.
That's life. That's nature.

i think you're not looking at this discussion from a global perspective, for example a country like USA has tripled the population of women who do not want kids. Same nation has elevated women to a position where they are equal opportunities for women to earn serious income. So in such situations, how would women still value men?

If men are the so called leaders but society/government started stripping them of their God given role, what happens?

Whether we like it or not, marriage is transactional, a man promises to build a family with a woman and there are certain expectations that comes with that, similarly a woman agrees to build a family with a man and such man suddenly expects certain things. The problem starts when a woman is no longer seen as a woman but Mrs. somebody or mama somebody. A woman with no life outside of her husband or kid, such women usually end up filled with regrets. All it takes is life taking a wrong turn and the dream becomes shattered!

For men, all it takes is a divorce or worse and then that so called service that you said is a man's purpose becomes meaningless! So I repeat my premise, whether you be man or woman, you must bring something else to the table other than your natural talents! Not for your spouse's sake but for YOUR OWN SAKE!

Rukevwe999:
God, a simple enlightening thread like this and incels are already gettimg triggered. The comments I'm seeing here indicates that some of my fellow men need to evaluate themselves. There's more depth to human relationship than "what one brings to the table".

The bold part of your comment is highly subjective, for men it can be tricky asking what a woman brings to the table but I bet you 100% for most women, their main focus is what the man brings to the table. This is why most men get triggered when people use something like sex or childbirth and equate it to what a man brings to the table.

It's also kind of detrimental to women because we are at the age of empowerment and feminism, are we saying all women are good for is making babies like a factory? Society already tells men to be men by providing for their family, extended family, friends and still be a responsible member of society while it teaches women that all they have to do is have a banging body and be fertile......CAN'T IMAGINE I'LL SPEND SO MUCH MONEY TO GIVE MY DAUGHTER FIRST CLASS EDUCATION & ONE MAN WILL REDUCE HER TO BABY MAKER

Questions like this makes no sense. These goalkeepers did not play in the same era or have the same team. A goalkeeper most times is as good as his defense.

Peter Rufai was a more efficient keeper than Enyeama when you factor in the entire team. Most of the players on the national team when Rufai started playing were relatively unknown and unrefined. The defense was made up of bricklayers and plumbers facing off against more established players especially at the world cup.

Enyeama had a team of European players, battle tested and refined but they still underperformed! No way yo ucan rank him above Rufai in terms of efficiency!

izadi:
This lady has only gone back to factory reset. Polyandry was widely practised in Africa before the continent was corrupted by the main religions. People need to read up on the African history long before the advent of colonisation..

Africa is not a country, so please be specific, which country in Africa are you talking about? Which tribe? I know for a fact polyandry is a taboo in Yorubaland and you can't show one single evidence that it was practiced. I know for a fact no Hausa or Fulani tribe practiced such so can you clarify? When you say Africa, you must be referring to other nations in it, right?

MadamExcellency:


Can you interpret what Jesus Christ was trying to teach from these direct quotes?

Matthew 19:4-6 KJV
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, [5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? [6] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:10 KJV
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

Read the next few verses and you'll see nothing about the verses you quote forbids men from marrying more than one wife!

I hate when people generalize, I see such people as low intelligence humans! There is plenty of time to socialize abroad, in fact based on your education and career level, you will never work a weekend again in your life, that leaves you with at least one or two days to socialize.

Further, if you are wise and actively investing while you work, your job provides you at least 2 full weeks of paid time off each year along with 5 or 6 holidays, why wouldn't you be able to schedule time for partying or vacationing?

Finally we have people making money while they sleep in the USA, there's no free money abroad but some money are easier to attain than others, places like America allows you to work remotely, some of my goons are working 2 jobs remotely cashing out big time and if they are really really good at what they do, most of their daily tasks takes less than 4 hours to complete, the rest is spent playing PS5 or chatting on Nairaland/Instagram. Ji ma sun!

siofra:
Why would a young man or woman in their early twenties be in relationships with people above 40? It screams daddy/mommy issues.

Some early 20s girls have been through more than 3 breakups, sexual abuse or multiple abortions......Don't you think they need a more matured man in their life? Isn't the goal of most relationships durability?

Zooposki:


Why should I personally know one person? I have given you the most famous Virgin Birth aka Jesus, you no believe na. I can’t come and kee myself, you this Y chromosome that ain’t needed. 😀😀

Ah now I understand you fully......You haven't taken your meds......Get well soon

Zooposki:


Would you believe them? Las, las una go still claim say them be all olosho collecting dick on the side. Or maybe sperm touch their vagina. Useless Y chromosome causing the earth to be in a state of unrest with all your wars, criminalities, murders, rapes etc. No wonder Nature has deemed you guys as more than useless. Lolz.

Hogwash.....First you criticize those who look up things on Google then you use the same Google to try to bolster your weak ass claim.....You're not bright are you? So you don't personally know one person that has successfully given birth without sperm, chimoooo

Zooposki:


Well, the Holy Spirit is there at least. Man still not needed according to nature to keep the human race going on. Nature has deemed the Y chromosome as the most useless chromosome in the body. Deal with it. Imagine being the only chromosome not needed by the body. It means you are even more than useless. Omo, things are really happening o!!!

Still spewing shit....Still waiting for the first evidence that proves your theory....Nature this, nature that but you can't name one person that can be verified as being produced without the need for sperm.....No be juju be that?

Zooposki:


Whatever rocks your boat. If you believe it’s only a lubricant, whom I to argue with your Google knowledge. The most famous parthenogenesis(self reproduction) birth in the Bible is your dear Jesus. The Bible is a coded book.

Ah yes Bible and science perfect combo.....Nigga you're cracking me up . Even that theory is flawed because I recalled it required the holy spirit to complete the process so it is not self conception.....Nice try tho