nairaland addictechnophobe hehn?
make i catch you.

do you mean 2nd generation? children born abroad right?
I think those families need to get rid of the lofty expectations they are placing on their kids. If you want your son or daughter to speak your native language, like the food etc, then send them to nigeria and let them grow up there.
many parents do that. they send the kids to school in naija for a few yrs to get acculturated.
the biology and genetic make up maybe hereditary but the culture is always product of environment.

I agree that many of these kids are caught up in between two worlds. but it's not their fault.

On the other hand, if you look in Yankee at many first-generation Hispanics, Chinese, Indians, for example, they all speak and write their languages and fully embrace their culture. But when it comes to our own first-generation Nigerians, speaking (much less writing) our traditional language becomes an exception rather than the norm.

something you need to consider the fact that many of the hispanics and chinese don't speak english as an official language in their country so their english is very limited. so of course their children have to learn their native language in order to be able to communicate with them.

The only case where i've seen a nigerian child abroad speaking fluent yoruba is because the parents brought the grandma to live with the family. this grandma is illiterate and doesn't speak english so the kids were forced to learn yoruba as their first language. Imagine these young nigerian american kids of about 6-8yrs who have never been to nigeria speaking a dialect of yoruba that only elderly people in the village speak.

so i guess a way to help kids learn the language is to bring a grandparent or illiterate relative to live with you and babysit your kids from early childhood. these kids will learn in no time!! in fact, yoruba or igbo may end up being their first/native language.

from "the family" to Gabourey Sidibe.  how did that happen

sagamite, you need to upload the full episodes jor

maybe NL guys can come out to help out.

has he gotten better since the first time? at least a little bit better? maybe it's a gradual process for him.

here's the sexuality board:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/board-28.0.html

romance board:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/board-21.0.html


internet is obviously unanimous so if you can't find a topic that helps, you can create one. but i'm sure there was one similar topic or so. lol
You should also try confiding on someone about this. maybe your closest friend (you said you told your friends right?) maybe they have had more experiences and might have advice on how you can help your husband out.

I really feel he also is not feeling too happy about the situation.

unsuregirl:

I am not saying that he can't have intimacy with me. I just meant that he is not really good at it and does not try sufficiently to do what might please me and hence most of the times he cums and is satisfied and I am left craving for more. I think that he could overcome that if he tried to read about it and practised some more. Anyway, the point is that after a long time it can get frustrating for a woman also to have a man beside herself in the bed whom she so wants and he seems to be trying to avoid her just to avoid failure.

have you ever slept with another man beside him? you said you waited until marriage right? so you don't know for sure if he's "good" at it or not in comparison to other men.
and you say he's 25. he seems pretty young.

I think there was a similar topic a while ago. try going on the romance and sexuality board and doing a search. Have you had a discussion with him about this? what does he usually say. I know probably an angry response from him but what does he say?

kinda ironic. lol esp. if you consider the african guy stereotype and why foreign girls go for them. most people around you will assume things not knowing you are not getting any.

^ OMG

Educating us on our legal rights I think is the best contribution any government or private agency can offer towards curtailing these abuses. It will yield more dividends than concentrating on the present approach that is largely post-mortem and very costly.

do we even have legal rights?

for example, what is being done to punish this DPO? has he been removed from office? what are they doing to FIND and arrest the runaway lady?

Atreides, how old are you?
you seem like a good girl who just wants your privacy. Most nigerian parents do not understand that. They do not even understand the word privacy. lol.Just make sure to stay out of trouble and give them enough reason to trust and respect you and soon they'll be out of your way.

isale_gan2:

Oh My Land! 5 eggs! A day! Fried! For 90 days! Stay indoors too? Surely you jest. I would recommend that to someone if I had life insurance on them and was about to go to debtors' prison. But carry on.

hhahaha I didn't know what to say when I read that too. That's the ultimate road to an early grave.

tpia1:

seriously, what do men gain from all the bleeping and sexing of every race and country known to man?
beats me.
might as well just open spermatozoa banks in different countries and donate your seed.
well well well.
and they say they dont want to be called atm machines but would rather be loved for "who they are".
no offence.
but dont some nigerian men prefer to be big daddy?

lol. beats me too. I don't think it's a nigerian men issue. It's a black men issue in general. they have failed in most areas of life. so why not give them a pass in the only area they are successful at - sleeping around or getting girls. lol
many men need at least need something to be proud of or boast about (even if it's attention they get from foreign girls). otherwise, they loose all self dignity.
who knows many of the black men in prisons or criminals we have in the street won't be there if they were getting "affection" from someone.

oyb:

even now, if i drop my wallet in the wrong place my old man will go through it
we used to joke as kids about my old man being more invasive than the gestapo
but we also joked that those Columbine boys would never have gotten halfway as far as they did if they were my dad's kids
freedom comes with a price that you are not yet ready to pay.at your age, your dad will have to take responsibility for any of your mistakes.
i guess he's trying to preempt
good parenting can only go so far once your kids are in thier teens

so what's the purpose of your dad still going through your wallet at your age. is he still trying to "protect" you? or he's just developed a nosy habit lol  my parents can be like that at times too. lol
I agree though. parents are looking out for the best for their children. esp. teenage years that are generally d most tumultuous. but i still feel sympathy for the OP. eeya she will grow out of it eventually.

binhozie:

Bombs were planted in the phucckking church!!!!!!!!!
A friend of mine was killed i swear to God!!!

I will Kill too!!!
I swear to God i will take moslem lives too!!!
I vow on the blood of my dead friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
If i dont take a moslem life, let GOD take my own life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do we make of this blood thirsty fool?
how many people have you killed before this?
what makes you any different from the bombers?
na wah o.

depends. sometimes i eat 3x a day. sometimes I don't.
I think one should use their best judgment when it comes to food. do what's best for your body and your health.

@OP, I totally sympathize with you. I don't think it's right for your dad to be going through your phone.
next time, use a password setting. I'm sure your phone has one of those.

mbulela:

your dad is not alone.
i remember my cousin's husband asking his then 12 year old daughter if she had worn her sanitary pad soon after she dressed up before going to school.
This was in the UK where kids are generally very independent.
I almost blushed in shame with my black face.
I felt so much pity for the poor girl as she wanted to ground to open and swallow her up.
But i know her father is so protective and worries himself sick over his daughter's welfare but he does not worry that much for his other kids.

poor girl.
why don't he help her put it on. mtchewww.

the polygamy thing is more common with yoruba muslims. It has more to do with their religion. Although there are many yoruba muslims who are monogamous esp. in lagos.

for divorce, I think it's higher among yorubas mostly because yoruba women are very strong headed compared to women of other tribes. like base1 already said, we are generally independent and self sufficient (at least compared to others in the country) so it is easier to walk out of an unsatisfactory marriage.

There are many women who stay in polygamous marriages and like it though. marriage is different for everyone. In fact I heard that some rich man might buy a house for each of his wives and provide all her needs. He will visit once in a while. Many women don't mind this independent life in polygamy.

@vipico and romeo,
good for you. I'm glad and very happy for you.
for those of us that can't afford all these specialists and physicians to tell us 24/7 what we should be feeling, let us assess our health here and talk about how we FEEL*
now let the topic continue in peace. thank you.


@topic, i feel 7/10 healthy today. slept like a baby and went for a long walk yesterday. my new years resolution is to eat more vegetables and learn how to eat better.



* i'm just so sorry that the word "feel" offends some of you. that's too bad. skip and go on to the next topic if you don't like it.

@poster
If i were to advice you as a brother.
Lies about age is not enough reason why you should opt for divorce.
I can only implore you to examine her closely and see if you will discover something else about her, most especially about her past.
Sometimes, ladies cook up stories when they are running out of time.
36 is not bad if her past is OK and her body is still intact. And also, when there is money. Cos money answers all things
Brother, there are so much worse things ladies could do than this, weigh her in terms of her goods and bads. so accept her and continue life.
Let her know you hate lies and you wouldn't tolerate any more lies again.
She will get pregnant and give you babies soon. Infact, anxiety about getting pregnant can delay her conception. You guys should just relax and have fun.
, it is well with you and your family in Jesus name

best post so far.
OP is very shallow. wife lying about her age is not reason for divorce. but if this revelation will continue to give him nightmares for the rest of his life, then I will advice him to get a divorce. for him and his wife's sake.
but he should make sure to check new wife's birth certificate. lhahahah

dayokanu:

If you discover that Mr Chaircover is actually 4 yrs younger than you instead of 4yrs older that you have believed all the while.

Not many Naija women would dig moaning under their youngest brothers mate you know, Same goes for guys unless na paid Gigolo

I don't know chaircover's taste but there are many women who won't mind being 4yrs older than their husband.

MRbrownJAY:

what is the point of all these poor guys buying recharge cards for these damsels if they wont call then?!
it should be a DUTY to call at least 10mins per day, if your man gets you recharge cards!

say AMEN. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

hahahah u crack me up
OP will soon learn once she starts receiving less and less recharge cards.

VIPICO:

How can u truthfully and effectively rate your own health? A doctor should do that after a comprehensive check on u

this topic is more about how you feel about your health. .
your doctor cannot feel your headache, stomach pains, leg pain. Your doctor does not experience your weight gain, weigh loss, diarrhea and car accidents with you. So even doctors cannot truthfully and effectively rate your health. They cannot read your mind and know what you are feeling just by looking at you. Even for babies, parents have to explain to the doctor what is wrong with their child. I feel sorry for you if you think doctors know it all. I've visited doctors so many times to know that they are not omnipotent. The best doctors are those that can communicate well with patients.It is all up to you to gauge the severity of your pains and health and communicate this well with your doctor so that he/she can diagnose you effectively.

besides, will you visit a doctor in the first place if you feel 10/10 healthy? ppl only go to the doctor when they [b]feel [/b]unhealthy.
so plz. rate yourself. how do you feel about your health on a scale of 1-10? 

Kilode?!:

. . .natural permanent representative to[b] Gbogbo Agbaye (UN)[/b] 

LWKMD

smh

lagbaja20:

I tried reading it in college
I found it too boring

Isnt Ake his autobiography uptill age 11? whats spectacular about it?

wow. how could anyone find Ake boring . do you read literature or just non-fiction. you seem like someone who prefers non-fiction maybe that's why. Ake reads like fictional literature. very prose like. I loved it.

the book is not about soyinka himself but rather more about the context. nigeria in the 1930s and 40s and just the culture in general. One of the main reasons I loved it was because it made me feel like I was in Nigerian in 1930s and what daily life was like in abeokuta during that time. especially colonial life in Nigeria through the lens of a child.
In fact, it's one of the few books I would love to re-read again in the future.

Kilode?!:

I agree with a lot of your points. Left to me, I will give it to Soyinka in the absence of Gani Fawehinmi or Bola Ige.

Like Oyinda. pointed out, the modern Aare will have to be symbolic though, like Akintola and MKO Abiola's title were, he'll have to be a defender of Yoruba cultural traditions and an active participant in the progress of the Yoruba people and Nation.

Within the present realities of Nigeria, we obviously do not need a real "war general" we are not fighting a war (yet) and we don't have an army, the symbolic qualities of the Modern Aare will have to stress other criteria which I believe Soyinka adequately meets.

I understand Soyinka went into exile for a while during the Abacha era but I honestly cannot accuse the man of cowardice -between his alleged hold-up of a state radio station at gunpoint plus his role during the Biafra crisis especially his efforts at conveying Victor Banjo's message to then Lt. Olusegun Obasanjo during the war and his Radio Kudirat movement plus his constant efforts at speaking truth to power- I will rather call him brave.

I think the Alaafin should give it to Soyinka of Aké, Unfortunately. I'm also convinced Soyinka will refuse it.

lol if he does.
I don't consider him to be a coward either. In fact, he was the only one I could think of that champions yoruba culture.
that reminds me. Ake by wole soyinka is a wonderful book/autobiography.  lagbaja u shld read it if you already haven't. it reads like literary fiction so it goes by fast.

lagbaja20:

IMHO, at the scale at which Abiola carried out his philantrophy, it was more than justified to make him the 'modern day' Aare.
Also, Abiola championed the cause of the Yoruba race; he was a worthy ambassador of the Yoruba people. You'd need to look at his resume to understand what he did, how he made it big against all odd, and why he is held in such high esteem. Not to talk of his character. He was an embodiment of 'omoluabi' through and through.

More than that, for a more complete answer to your question, you'd have to ask the Alaafin. He alone knows why Abiola, more than anyone else, was the most deserving of the title.

thnx
so MKO is a "modern day" aare. he was an ambassador.
what criteria defined the past ones? what are the profiles of the past ones.
to me generalissimo doesn't seem to be a fitting word for MKO. although it might have been for the past chiefs.

I would nominate wole soyinka as a yoruba ambassador. what do you think?

olabukola:

I really don't see anybody that merit that tittle now even MKO did not merit it.

co-sign. this is mostly because now, yorubaland as a political entity doesn't really exist anymore. it is merely a shadow of what it used to be. That title belong in another era. not really relevant for today. lol