sonofananimal:
DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF CIVILIZATION YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

IN AFRICA AND MANY PART OF THE WORLD PUT LITTLE OR LESS ABOUT DATING OR MARRIAGEABLE AGE ON WOMEN, FROM 16. 17. BIOLOGICALLY THAT WOMAN IS MATURE PHYSICALLY, AS FROM THE MENTAL ASPECT, AGE DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR MATURITY BUT RATHER THE EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE HAVE GATHER IN LIFE.

The experience you have gathered in life is intrinsically linked to age; a 16 year old girl is less likely to have the same life experience as a 21 year old, purely due to that 5 year difference, although everybody's life is different and the 16 year old could have seen a lot, whilst a 21 year old could have led a sheltered life.

Im talking about African civilization, definitely and Nigerian, specifially- its Nigeria that has an age of consent of 18, whilst Britains is 16. Although we know that in Nig girls are married off at ages much lower than these, all Im saying is that those laws were written for a reason, with many factors having been taken into consideration beforehand.

I think people are just trying to defend the indefensible here. No matter what angle I look at it from, all I can see OP as is a potential sexual predator

Biological sexual maturity only equates to full adulthood in animals, who are born with set times for specific behaviours (eg. rats start mating at a certain age, because they die at another specific age. All of this is programmed within them- they don't need to think about it-they just do it. Same with dogs and birds).

We cannot exclude the mental, emotional, social and spiritual implications of sexuality during teenage years vs later life, just because the appropriate body parts dey...that makes no sense.

Stephansmily:
I see u've finally found love


Age is just a number


Bt wait till she turns 18.

u mean he should suck up his love until she's 18? o kare (weldone)

There is a thing line between love, lust and infatuation. The probability of you lusting after her is high! The girl won't be ready for marriage in 4 - 5yrs time, add that to your age, can you wait that long? Just leave her and let her enjoy her teenies age.

Now you're lusting after her if you find this advise offensive.

kandiikane:
As a hypocrite who has been dating a guy since I was 16 who is 7 years my senior, I would not want my child to be dating someone with that age gap at 16 or 17. As a 27 year old, you have probably experienced life as much as you could in your late teens and early 20s, probably still experiencing. That girl should have a chance to experience her own. Trust me, it takes a lot more to sustain such relationships, in the next 2 to 7years, that girl will be battling with a lot of demons in her in regards to the relationship. If una want continue, go on but do not try to be possessive and controlling, I know why I am saying this, with your age, you think you know more and better so you will try to impose your views on her which she will end up finding difficult within the next 2 to 7 years as she builds up on hers. Right now, she is most likely feeling all the flutters of wings in her stomach and going about without a care in the world. Reality will soon set so be ready. Oga op, I strongly recommend you to leave that girl to experience life without any strings dragging her back but it is up to you. There is a higher chance of her cheating on you(not everyone can have self control at that age) than someone closer to your age, she most likely won't be ready for marriage(if you dont marry her by 18/19) so be ready. Seriously, leave the girl be, a guy your age will be a distraction for her when it comes to her studies.

I THINK THIS IS ANOTHER BEST ADVICE I HAVE READ SO FAR,

YOU MAKE LESS CONCERN ABOUT WEATHER SHE IS A CHILD OR NOT, NOT TALK LESS OF PUTTING MUCH CONCERN ABOUT HER MATURITY BUT RATHER HER LACK OF EXPERIENCE IN LIFE.

I SERIOUSLY MAY GO WITH YOU ON THIS ONE.

Stephansmily:
I see u've finally found love


Age is just a number


Bt wait till she turns 18.

Na Kylie Jenner??!

You didn't state your level of education or your level of sufficiency.
Anyway
Imagine your 17 year old sister dating a 27 years old man,is it normal to you
What are you working out
The greatest respect you can give to her to to allow her be.

You need to speak to a responsible person to help you from hurting yourself and the innocent girl not NL.
Shebi you want make pikin born pikin for you.

Gurgle:


The experience you have gathered in life is intrinsically linked to age; a 16 year old girl is less likely to have the same life experience as a 21 year old, purely due to that 5 year difference, although everybody's life is different and the 16 year old could have seen a lot, whilst a 21 year old could have led a sheltered life.

Im talking about African civilization, definitely and Nigerian, specifially- its Nigeria that has an age of consent of 18, whilst Britains is 16. Although we know that in Nig girls are married off at ages much lower than these, all Im saying is that those laws were written for a reason, with many factors having been taken into consideration beforehand.
I think people are just trying to defend the indefensible here. No matter what angle I look at it from, all I can see OP as is a potential sexual predator

Biological sexual maturity only equates to full adulthood in animals, who are born with set times for specific behaviours (eg. rats start mating at a certain age, because they die at another specific age. All of this is programmed within them- they don't need to think about it-they just do it. Same with dogs and birds).

We cannot exclude the mental, emotional, social and spiritual implications of sexuality during teenage years vs later life, just because the appropriate body parts dey...that makes no sense.

God bless you for that bolded part.
We can't shy away from the truth and that's what you just said, the OP is obviously lusting after the wench and sampling people's opinion to buttress and justify his heinous act.

you are a gadamn pedophile !!!!

ManTiger:

God bless you for that bolded part.
We can't shy away from the truth and that's what you just said, the OP is obviously lusting after the wench and sampling people's opinion to buttress and justify his heinous act.

Yes. Notice OP didn't say anything like "Ive seen some traits in her character that I like" or "Im considering asking her hand in marriage". not that the latter would justify it, since lusty feelings make up some percentage of why people get married. But we can tell from his post that his intentions don't seem long-term. He just wants to test the waters

As I said its a grey area. I wouldn't mind a 10 year difference myself. So Im not saying this because im against age-gap relationships, im saying it because in this instance, even with the little information we have, it seems wrong

Gurgle:


Correct guy...please advice your friends up there

My friend? I didn't know mine was so young. I've fallen for her soooo deep before I got to know. If I'd left her, I'd have damaged her.

Maximus85:


My friend? I didn't know mine was so young. I've fallen for her soooo deep before I got to know. If I'd left her, I'd have damaged her.

I didn't really understand...So you fell in love with her, got to know her real age and then whats the end?

killerman47:
Please help... i'm 27 but loving a 17yr old girl... is this normal? Is the age difference too much? Can we work something out?

For the records, I'm done with school, working and self sufficient; while she's about getting into school...

Honest suggestions needed pls...

If you know how old your mother was when she got married, you will know that a 17 year old girl is already getting old.
If my woman is not anywhere 10 years younger than me, she ain't coming near my house to live as wife.
My age mates in girls married years before I started making money. Why didn't they wait for me?

How old is Oshiomole and Lara?
Or are we pardoning them because the Edo State money is involved?
Or are you part of the theory of "she is matured to make her choice"?

What is the difference between 17years and 11 months girl and an 18 year old girl?

I look and laugh when toads come here to shout "17 years old is too young".

Too young to do what exactly?
If a 17 year old can have four boyfriends in Nigeria, why can't she have one husband?

Go ahead and do your thing
There are a million black 17 year old girls in Europe, standing in the streets as prostitutes.

Gurgle:


The experience you have gathered in life is intrinsically linked to age; a 16 year old girl is less likely to have the same life experience as a 21 year old, purely due to that 5 year difference, although everybody's life is different and the 16 year old could have seen a lot, whilst a 21 year old could have led a sheltered life .

Im talking about African civilization, definitely and Nigerian, specifially- its Nigeria that has an age of consent of 18, whilst Britains is 16. Although we know that in Nig girls are married off at ages much lower than these, all Im saying is that those laws were written for a reason, with many factors having been taken into consideration beforehand.

I think people are just trying to defend the indefensible here. No matter what angle I look at it from, all I can see OP as is a potential sexual predator

Biological sexual maturity only equates to full adulthood in animals, who are born with set times for specific behaviours (eg. rats start mating at a certain age, because they die at another specific age. All of this is programmed within them- they don't need to think about it-they just do it. Same with dogs and birds).

We cannot exclude the mental, emotional, social and spiritual implications of sexuality during teenage years vs later life, just because the appropriate body parts dey...that makes no sense.

YOUR ENVIRONMENT DETERMINE THE EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE GATHER IN LIFE NOT AGE. A 16YRS OLD CAN BE MORE LEVEL HEADED OR EVEN SOUND AND LOOK MATURE THAN A 20YRS OLD PERSON,

I HAVE ONCE CARRIED OUT AN EXPERIMENT WHERE BY I HAVE KEPT TWO ANIMALS OF THE SAME SPECIES, ONE I DOMESTICATE IT WHILE THE OTHER ONE, I LEAVE IT IN THE WILD LET HIM FEED FOR IT SELF.WHEN I AM GATHERING MY DATA, I FIND OUT THAT THE ONE I KEPT IN THE WILD HAVE HIGHER BRAIN WAVE FREQUENCY THAN THE ONE I DOMESTICATED.

THIS ALSO MAY APPLY TO HUMANS.


BUT THE REST, I MAY GO WITH YOU ON THIS ONE

ManTiger:

God bless you for that bolded part.
We can't shy away from the truth and that's what you just said, the OP is obviously lusting after the wench and sampling people's opinion to buttress and justify his heinous act.

See judges.

ZUBY77:


If you know how old your mother was when she got married, you will know that a 17 year old girl is already getting old.

I look and laugh when toads come here to shout "17 years old is too young".

Too young to do what exactly?
If a 17 year old can have four boyfriends in Nigeria, why can't she have one husband?

Go ahead and do your thing
There are a million black 17 year old girls in Europe, standing in the streets as prostitutes.

THANK YOU MY BROTHER!

YOU SAID IT ALL.

marriage is overrated...Nigerian girls are boring...




bash me if you wanna...eez allowed

sonofananimal:
YOUR ENVIRONMENT DETERMINE THE EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE GATHER IN LIFE NOT AGE. A 16YRS OLD CAN BE MORE LEVEL HEADED OR EVEN SOUND AND LOOK MATURE THAN A 20YRS OLD PERSON,

I HAVE ONCE CARRIED OUT AN EXPERIMENT WHERE BY I HAVE KEPT TWO ANIMALS OF THE SAME SPECIES, ONE I DOMESTICATE IT WHILE THE OTHER ONE, I LEAVE IT IN THE WILD LET HIM FEED FOR IT SELF.WHEN I AM GATHERING MY DATA, I FIND OUT THAT THE ONE I KEPT IN THE WILD HAVE HIGHER BRAIN WAVE FREQUENCY THAN THE ONE I DOMESTICATED.

THIS ALSO MAY APPLY TO HUMANS.


BUT THE REST, I MAY GO WITH YOU ON THIS ONE

Yeah. I agreed with you there. Your environment, personality, personal life experiences, social framework, and lots of other things determine your total life experience and how that shapes you. But what I mean is, 16 years is automatically a smaller timeframe for all those things to take effect than 21 years old. Just automatically, by virtue of time ONLY. The rest is due to what you have said, which im not disagreeing with you on.

If two people need to read a book, and 1 person only has an hour to finish the book whilst the other person has a day, of course we would expect the person with a day to finish reading, and the person with one hour not to. But the person who has an hour may be a very fast reader and may have no distractions. While the person with 24 hours is a slow reader, has English as a second language, has no quiet place to read the book, and so on. So the person with 1 hour may finish first. But by virtue of time and time only- the person with 24 hours is more likely to complete the task. do you see what I mean?

The animal you kept in the wild had to do more to survive and so became more neurally active, fine. Its true that animals who face challenges tend to be better equipped to deal with life and so on. I understand its often true with humans, but in these circumstances, OP shouldn't go near that girl. I can say that even without knowing her, what kind of person she is or what she has been through in life.

Your chyking game is weak for you to actually develop feelings for a 17yr old. cmon man!. wetin you wan dey talk with a 17yo and the real love test will come when she enters school and get more exposed... but hope say your love no be for knacks? you gatts friendzone the babe abeg cuz you two will still breakup

sonofananimal:
WELL! WE FIND LOVE IN A STRANGE WAY.

AT 17YRS, SHE IS A BIG GIRL, AND SHE MOST HAVE ALREADY DEVELOPED THE BREA$T AND THE YANSH TOGETHER WITH THE SMELL THAT EVERY WOMAN HAVE IN THEIR PRIVATE COMPANY LOCATED AT THE ROAD IN BETWEEN THEIR LEGS.

SINCE OUR NAIJA OLDER WOMEN HAVE ALREADY CORRUPT!!

TRAIN HER TO BECOME THE WOMAN YOU WILL WANT TO STAY WITH.


AFTER ALL, IT IS NOT A CRIMINAL OFFENCE TO DATE A GIRL OF 17YRS OF AGE.

This, I won't recommend. Refer to my earlier post as it's something I knew you will try to do. Do not try to mold her to what you want.

Trust me, it takes a lot more to sustain such relationships, in the next 2 to 7years, that girl will be battling with a lot of demons in her in regards to the relationship. If una want continue, go on but do not try to be possessive and controlling, I know why I am saying this, with your age, you think you know more and better so you will try to impose your views on her which she will end up finding difficult within the next 2 to 7 years as she builds up on hers.

Age is just number and Jail is just a room, at least here in the Developed world, not too sure about Nigeria, Yarima is an example of a serial pedophile

Gurgle:
theres nothing wrong but you need to leave her until youre like 32 and she is 22, otherwise its wrong

**modified ok maybe 22 is too long but you guys get where Im going with this shey...17 is too young for OP to start on her.
I
Its not about when the girl starts having boyfriends, its about the age gap between them. If they were both 17, it wouldn't be an issue. the issue here is child abuse and exploitation of a minor

how old are you what can a 30 yr old woman do that a 17 yr old can't do...Don't look down on teenagers, they know alot.. 27 n 17 ain't that bad eventhough I can't date 1 of that age..

Gurgle:


Yeah. I agreed with you there. Your environment, personality, personal life experiences, social framework, and lots of other things determine your total life experience and how that shapes you. But what I mean is, 16 years is automatically a smaller timeframe for all those things to take effect than 21 years old. Just automatically, by virtue of time ONLY. The rest is due to what you have said, which im not disagreeing with you on.

If two people need to read a book, and 1 person only has an hour to finish the book whilst the other person has a day, of course we would expect the person with a day to finish reading, and the person with one hour not to. But the person who has an hour may be a very fast reader and may have no distractions. While the person with 24 hours is a slow reader, has English as a second language, has no quiet place to read the book, and so on. So the person with 1 hour may finish first. But by virtue of time and time only- the person with 24 hours is more likely to complete the task. do you see what I mean?

The animal you kept in the wild had to do more to survive and so became more neurally active, fine. Its true that animals who face challenges tend to be better equipped to deal with life and so on. I understand its often true with humans, but in these circumstances, OP shouldn't go near that girl. I can say that even without knowing her, what kind of person she is or what she has been through in life
.

Yea you are right. But if you check, women tend to like older men more than their fellow mate. And most relationship do last like that. During those days, my mother married at the age of 16 while my father was about 25.

Sometimes, things might not go as we predicted,

lanicky:
Hey dude! She's an underage....try to exercise some patience, wait till she's mature enough cos she might not be in for a serious relationship but for adventures.

#Gbam!

kandiikane:


This, I won't recommend. Refer to my earlier post as it's something I knew you will try to do. Do not try to mold her to what you want.

REMEMBER, PARENT TO TRAIN THERE FEMALE CHILD TO BECOME MEANINGFUL.

TRAINING DON'T NECESSARY MEAN TO BE POSSESSIVE OR HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF HER LIFE.

Thank God today is Sunday,please seek godly counsel before you leave the church.
You need help,I can percieve you have already started touching her.

Jesus said suffer the little ones to come to me.
I only hope she is not one of your pupil or choir member who God has given you previledge to lead and you want to drive.


Find spiritual help from the word of God,you can also study the book of Proverbs 3 for a start.
As a matter of fact studying and understanding the whole book of proverbs will help guide you from immorality.

sonofananimal:


Yea you are right. But if you check, women tend to like older men more than their fellow mate. And most relationship do last like that. During those days, my mother married at the age of 16 while my father was about 25.

Sometimes, things might not go as we predicted,

Yeah, I like older guys and at the moment I cant really imagine marrying my age-mate. My father is older than my mother by a medium sized gap- I could go with one like your parents' one or maybe larger.

I like the age gap, I just think its too soon for the OP to start on her, from what he has said. If I had started with someone of that age when I was 17, Im quite sure I would be in a bad state today. So unless I know the girl myself, I cant really advocate that relationship

Also the concept of womanhood is different now than it was in our parents' days. These days there is more room for development in life without a male figure in the background. So we cant really compare your mother with this girl. Your mother did what was normal for that time..its less normal now, rather its a choice, if circumstances will allow it

insycarc:

how old are you what can a 30 yr old woman do that a 17 yr old can't do...Don't look down on teenagers, they know alot.. 27 n 17 ain't that bad eventhough I can't date 1 of that age..

Its not about what the 17 year old can do or what she has already done. Whether she knows how to perform all the acts in the world, its still wrong

17 and 27 is bad based on the info the OP has given. He doesn't sound like hes particularly interested in her future, does he?

When I was 17 I liked guys much older than 27. Its not about what the girl wants or likes. What we like isn't necessarily what is good for us. Since we are advising him on a forum, Id rather say what is needed rather than what is wanted, even if its contrary to how I normally feel in everyday life

Gurgle:


Yeah, I like older guys and at the moment I cant really imagine marrying my age-mate. My father is older than my mother by a medium sized gap- I could go with one like your parents' one or maybe larger.

I like the age gap, I just think its too soon for the OP to start on her, from what he has said. If I had started with someone of that age when I was 17, Im quite sure I would be in a bad state today. So unless I know the girl myself, I cant really advocate that relationship

Also the concept of womanhood is different now than it was in our parents' days. These there is more room for development in life without a male figure in the background. So we cant really compare your mother with this girl. Your mother did what was normal for that time..its less normal now, rather its a choice, if circumstances will allow it

it all goes down on weather he is ready to settle down with the girl or just lust of her flesh.
If he is ready to settle down with the girl, I found no problem with it.

sonofananimal:
REMEMBER, PARENT TO TRAIN THERE FEMALE CHILD TO BECOME MEANINGFUL.

TRAINING DON'T NECESSARY MEAN TO BE POSSESSIVE OR HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF HER LIFE.

You should adhere to your own saying. You are not her parent, you are looking to have a romantic bond with her not a father , daughter bond. That is not your role and the fact that you are looking to train her should even be an indication that maybe you should not be dating her. As implied earlier, with your age, what you will end up doing is to try and take control of her life and have it exactly how you want it. It will blow up in your face and she will end up resenting you for it.

sonofananimal:
it all goes down on weather he is ready to settle down with the girl or just lust of her flesh.
If he is ready to settle down with the girl, I found no problem with it.

Yeah that's at the heart of it. And it doesn't sound like OP is talking what youre talking. Youre talking about training her, guiding her like your father did to your mother; I don't see any evidence of that here

in any case even if he wants to settle with her I still think he should make his intentions known but not date her, at least until after she has gotten through at least half of university.

The development that you go through, especially as a woman, during university is priceless, irreplaceable and to some extent, a solitary journey. I wouldn't want anybody to interfere with it under the guise of "training"

kandiikane:
As a hypocrite who has been dating a guy since I was 16 who is 7 years my senior, I would not want my child to be dating someone with that age gap at 16 or 17. As a 27 year old, you have probably experienced life as much as you could in your late teens and early 20s, probably still experiencing. That girl should have a chance to experience her own. Trust me, it takes a lot more to sustain such relationships, in the next 2 to 7years, that girl will be battling with a lot of demons in her in regards to the relationship. If una want continue, go on but do not try to be possessive and controlling, I know why I am saying this, with your age, you think you know more and better so you will try to impose your views on her which she will end up finding difficult within the next 2 to 7 years as she builds up on hers. Right now, she is most likely feeling all the flutters of wings in her stomach and going about without a care in the world. Reality will soon set so be ready. Oga op, I strongly recommend you to leave that girl to experience life without any strings dragging her back but it is up to you. There is a higher chance of her cheating on you(not everyone can have self control at that age) than someone closer to your age, she most likely won't be ready for marriage(if you dont marry her by 18/19) so be ready. Seriously, leave the girl be, a guy your age will be a distraction for her when it comes to her studies.

There is more supply and demand of young women than older women. Many girls are falling into the same fatal flaw - some say they want to have fun, experience life, build career but its the same flaw and error; they get past 22, past 24 and hit 26 and now want marriage at 26 but now, new gilrs are born everyday so a guy that really wants a 19 old will surely get its just a matter of trusting God and diligently searching. Guys will continue to seek out younger glrls - its biological. If I were 35, I will be looking for a 21 year old and I will surely get because there are many girls to pick up; God honors my intent because I seek out marriage.

Another area is that of marriage. Marriage is defined as an approved union in the eyes of your deity between you and your spouse, nothing more nothing less.

It is not a ceremony.

kandiikane:


You should adhere to your own saying. You are not her parent, you are looking to have a romantic bond with her not a father , daughter bond. That is not your role and the fact that you are looking to train her should even be an indication that maybe you should not be dating her. As implied earlier, with your age, what you will end up doing is to try and take control of her life and have it exactly how you want it. It will blow up in your face and she will end up resenting you for it.

MAYBE THE WORD "TRAIN" I USE A SOUND A LITTLE BIT WEIRD.

WHAT IF I USE "GUARD"?