yinkeys:
That's life for you sir, it doesn't always turn out the way you plan it. That's why people have plan A, B & C.

Dexema:
your last sentence is the best you have made so far, long distance relationship with a young female student whose emotions are still wavering and immature is a recipe for disaster, just have a serious convo with her for a few minutes to determine your fate, cos therz nothing as annoying as chasing a woman who believes you are stalking or disturbing her. I guess you are seeing the signs already.

scantee:
unfornately i had only one plan, now is kinda backfired, now i knw why many guyz double date..."PEOPLE CHANGE PEOPLE"

scantee:
ya the signs are there, but she hardly admitd she feel less about me now, she kept re-assuring me she loves me but get confused @ times and want to be left alone without thinking about anybody...but the SIGNS are getting more obvious

scantee:
bro love is a very wicked thing, maybe i should just rush into new r/ship to get her rid of my mind, though her family will be hurt & sad but i think i have no other choice now b4 i die of HBP.

scantee:
ya the signs are there, but she hardly admitd she feel less about me now, she kept re-assuring me she loves me but get confused @ times and want to be left alone without thinking about anybody...but the SIGNS are getting more obvious

scantee:
<in my next world i would never date a student> again....

yorex2011:


I'm really sorry about your ordeal.
Dating female undergrads (btw 19 - 23) most times can be a hassle especially if it's long distance. First thing you need to know, you are in charge of your happiness. Take pride in the fact that you are a wonderful fellow who did you very best...
The human mind / psychology is very delicate especially in matters like this..
I've been in a similar situation but i took pride in the fact that i tried my best, but she forgot that no one is perfect..even her.... I overlooked hers, she used mine as a tool to breakup...

So bro, keep calm and be happy jor, you need the happiness

valdes00:

Right on point bro... part of the rules of dating...
Neva ever take a student serious in relationship, there is a possibility dat she will crush on a brilliant guy in class.....

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads concerning her atitudes will understand better. Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everyting to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her hollidays (i.e after 4 months) pratically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable... To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year. NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between then, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

scantee:
just that the more she calls & text the more i feel for her and melt, and all these our outing/tripz pics on my phone & laptops is not helping matter @all, & i don't even have the mind to Del them..just can't believe this happning to me, but i have to face the reality.

charlemon:
Please kindly ignore some aspects of comments such as "never date an undergraduate" , "Avoid long distance relationships" etc. These have nothing to do with discipline. A woman that's disciplined and loves you genuinely will definitely wait for you and guard her heart for you in various ways.
Every human (married and unmarried) come across an individual they admire for one thing or the other but genuine love and discipline is the difference here. It determines if they will court such temporal attraction or not.
Your girl isn't a baby and we do not know what has been occurring in your relationship. You may have quarrelled severally , she has seen something in you she doesn't like etc that has made her consider other men.
The first thing to do is to sit her down and ask her what she wants. Let her speak while you listen. If she says she wants to be with you then you let her know the conditions necessary to proceed with the relationship. If you notice she is sceptical or unsure bout the relationship; it is better you move on with your life. However, if you have no trust in her please just end the relationship if you don't want to turn to a detective all your life.
Do not be quick to action. Sit her down and talk. Let her do more talking while you do more listening. Ask her bout the person, laugh and tease her over it and you will hear some details that have been hidden. She will describe him either in the most loving manner or not, she will pause or smile when talking bout several things concerning him or she may do none of these and you will really know where her heart is. From there you can take your decision. Never end your relationship in anger or pain. Smile and let her see you leave quietly without any fear or pain (you can cry in ur house ooo lol). It will let her see that you know your worth and have self value and respect. Women are everywhere so take your time before making a decision

SeverusSnape:
Scantee

Are you a learner... How dare you date an undergraduate girl albeit a long distance relationship for that matter. She can never be loyal to you, She'll surely cheat because she's always getting numerous attentions from guys.

See, I broke up with my last girl friend when she got admission in Ghana to further her studies. I did what I did because I know what's up with girls of nowadays. I loved her, but what should be done must be done.

Sorry bro.

jomoh:


Don't delete them. Just pack them and keep somewhere somewhere you won't or can't access easily.


I know its not easy but you just have to disconnect yourself from her emotionally. Block your mind from seeing her as someone you love. Start seeing her as a close friend rather than a lover.

When she texts, don't text back immediately even if she says its urgent. Take sometime before you reply and don't let emotions show in your text.

Same with calls. Reduce your calls and don't return her missed call until hours later or the next day. Make it a duty not to let your missed call be more than twice.

Anytime you're tempted to make the call or to continue calling after calling twice, just drop your phone and walk away from it as far as possible.

If you can do it for just 3weeks, she'll notice the change. If she queries you, give her excuses of work stress or that you forgot then apologise. As time goes on she'll realise she's no more in control.

NOTE: no matter what she says or does, never let things go back to the way it was before. Just keep giving her promises but don't change the new attitude. When she confronts you do not admit that you've changed until after sometime if she persists. You can now let her know that you changed because you can't trust her again until she regain your trust. Let her feel she's losing you. Let her feel insecure and start chasing you but if she doesn't chase after you, just count her as another one that bites the dust and move on.

I repeat no matter what she does or says never let her melt your heart again until you've put the ring on that finger. Even after the marriage there are still ways to make her feel insecure.

BTW please and please give your crushers some chance and have fun. Give at least 2 of them chance. You don't know they might give you the lasting peace of mind you so much seek but if they don't it will have help you in more ways than one to reshape your mind and relationship.

bigx:
One thing I've learnt, when women see you care a lot and they can make you jealous they would milk that jealousy till the last drop, they want to see you in that "state". Most though. I mostly act like I don't care (even if I do), get my own crush or crushes, stop paying too much attention. Always works

jomoh:



Trust me bro. There's nothing that makes a woman jealous like seeing that her guy doesn't give a hoot about her. You're giving her too much time and that has put her in the drivers seat.


Ever heard the saying-

"The person who cares most in a relationship suffers most while the person that cares less controls the relationship"

Its time to mingle. Go out, meet girls, flirt around. She's too comfortable. Give the ones crushing on you chance. Make her feel insecure.

tooman:

love Doc. you nailed it with "saying".

scantee:
ya the signs are there, but she hardly admitd she feel less about me now, she kept re-assuring me she loves me but get confused @ times and want to be left alone without thinking about anybody...but the SIGNS are getting more obvious

scantee:
thanx my Senior Special Adviser on women wahala matter.

scantee:
unfornately i had only one plan, now is kinda backfired, now i knw why many guyz double date..."PEOPLE CHANGE PEOPLE"

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads concerning her atitudes will understand better. Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everyting to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her hollidays (i.e after 4 months) pratically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable... To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year. NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between then, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

torqque7:

Lol..bro now love na survival of the fittest o,ur too soft and mushy..that doesn't help a man in marriage let alone relationship,havnt u heard stories of working class guys not wanting to date students cos of issues like these?u should av had it at the back of ur mind that shit could happen to u too so y did u put ur whole heart into it?smh people will never heed the warnings signs and then latter complain..sha the damage is done already so man up and move on,they say the best way to get over someone is to get under another so find a rebound chick ASAP and when u eventually get into another relationship, use ur head too not just ur heart,and please try to stay away from student girlfriends,its very rare to be lucky and find a good student girlfriend, this h oes aint loyal bro..girls make it sooo difficult for guys to love them these days,now who will blame this dude if he decides to become a bad player cos of this bad experience??like I said bro survival of the fittest

Ifakiland:
she just teasing u

jeffizy:
I'm sure you omitted the part where you paid for her school fees and hostel accommodation too.

On a serious note, I sense some insecurity about you wanting to get married to her severally.

The lady must have gotten to the stage where mixing with people on campus has given her a wider horizon. If u know what I mean.

Just ask her without sugar coating it. “Are u for me or against me"?