₦airaland Forum

Shugavee:
well thats her opinion not mine n urs as well!!! I really hv no mb to watch that!!! Good day

Shugavee:
and she is absolutely right!!! She is not the only one that has a problem with that!! I do as well!!! As much a women seek 4 the benefits of equality!! We should know equality goes both ways!!! Men pressure in the society should be reduced, pressure to meet up to standard n all that!! Thats the individualism theory of feminism!! I want feminism even in areas it doesnt benefit me!! Proud socialist unapologetic feminist

FluidQueen:
I wouldn't indulge you. You're simply an hypocrite that chooses willful ignorance.

Anyway. Let me just give you an insight.
Feminism is all about female choice. It doesn't threaten you or your phallus. Let it rest.

WizAkzy:
Seriously bro if you really know how to do all these, then ask yourself what do you need a woman for?
Very soon the female womb will become useless thanks to the cloning technology that is already building up.

funmisticqueen:
you have to be a true hermit to be free from what he says

funmisticqueen:
really, the first sentence of your post just basically defined a human being, not a male. So my question to you is how are you different from the rest of the homosapiens species out there? You are not a soul who has escaped the society construct and matrix of delusion, that you are in this forum is fact to that. Just clearing that abmormal perception is the first step to true freedom.

RuthDaniels:
Wao! I read it all.

Honestly I'm experiencing this right now, The woman and narcissist Lol. But I think I'm going to change that soon. Maybe be the narcissist even for once.

chatom143:
If you are a Christian, it is a sin. Leviticus 19 :28.

Simon Louis popped the question to Mary Emmanuelle after nursing her back to health - and even though she said no, he says he has no regrets over sacrificing his organ


By
Jacqui Deevoy
20:31, 10 FEB 2018
NEWS
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Simon Louis was let down after he proposed to best friend Mary Emmanuelle after he donated his kidney to save her (Image: Steve Bainbridge/Sunday Mirror)

A man who donated a kidney to the woman he loves was overjoyed at saving her life – but saddened when she said no to marriage.

Simon Louis popped the question to Mary Emmanuelle after nursing her back to health following both their ops.

He had carried a torch for her over two decades and had secret hopes of spending the rest of their lives together.

But Mary gently rejected his proposal, though she loved him back, because her health made the future seem uncertain.

However the pair vowed to remain friends and Simon, 49, said: “I offered her my heart but I had to settle for giving her my kidney. Whatever happens, I’ll never regret giving her the gift of life.”


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Simon says: "I offered my heart but I had to settle for giving her my kidney" (Image: Sunday Mirror)
Man becomes first patient in world to have two face transplants as French surgeons make medical history
And Mary, 41, added: “He is my very best friend and always will be. The love between us is real. He could have died doing what he did for me.”

The pair first met in a London club in the mid-1990s with Mary, then 20, thinking Simon, 28, was “a good-looking bad boy”.

They shared an odd smooch and flirted but things between them never progressed further.

As the years passed they stayed pals, Mary busy with her young son Dwayne and her job as a stockbroker’s secretary while Simon helped his brother organise music events.


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Mary during her spell in hospital (Image: Sunday Mirror)
Simon, who had other relationships but never lost his feelings for Mary, would think of her on Valentine’s Day and buy her a rose or some chocolates.

Then in September 2014 Mary, who was only 37, suddenly collapsed at home after her skin went yellow. Son Dwayne, then 21, found her on the floor choking in her vomit and she was rushed to Guy’s Hospital in South London.

She was in a coma for a fortnight after a brain haemorrhage, spent two months in intensive care and was eventually diagnosed with end-stage kidney disease.


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Mary took Simon on holiday to Spain to thank him for his donation
Her only hope was a transplant – but the chances of a donor being found were drastically reduced because she had very rare B negative blood.

Mary said: “I couldn’t believe it – I had been given a death sentence. My name was put on a ‘dead donor’ list. I could only wait.”

She was discharged from hospital in January 2015 but had to return daily to be put on a kidney dialysis machine.

Simon visited her every day, sometimes staying the night, so he could help her get to and from the hospital.


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Simon shows off his donor scar (Image: Steve Bainbridge/Sunday Mirror)
Dad battles through grief of losing son in crash caused by texting driver to donate kidney to brother
He also helped to dress, bathe and feed her. In thanks Mary took him on holiday to Spain and while they were away a donor was found – but they did not get back to Britain in time so the kidney was given to someone else.

By then Mary was so ill she moved into Simon’s East London home so he could care for her. She said: “He was an excellent nurse. At night he’d lie on the bed, tell me funny stories and stroke me to sleep. The love and attention he gave me helped me through that dark time.”


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Mary says she doesn't want to get married until her health is better (Image: Steve Bainbridge/Sunday Mirror)
A few weeks later Simon suggested getting tested to see if he was a match as a donor – and it turned out he was.

Months of assessments followed and then both underwent surgery before helping each other back to health. Then one night cooking dinner, Simon plucked up the courage and proposed. Mary said: “I felt incredibly flattered that he should want to marry me after seeing me at my absolute worst.

“But I let him down gently by saying I’d have to think about it.


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Simon says he has "no regrets" over helping Mary (Image: Steve Bainbridge/Sunday Mirror)
“I think I’d worry if we got married it would in some way damage our special friendship and also I don’t want to get wed until I’m fully better health-wise.”

Simon insisted he had no regrets about his decision to become a donor, saying: “I didn’t think twice about it. There’s no question about doing something like that for someone you love.”

Man who donated kidney to love saves her life - but she says no to marriage

“A man’s highest need is to feel respect, whereas a woman’s highest need is to feel loved.” Marriage expert and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn came to that conclusion after a scientific study into what men really need. But she first came to that realization while on a singles retreat before she got married. “This retreat speaker said the same thing that I said in the book and asked the men on the survey—which is to recognize that, for women, the highest need, in general, is to feel loved and cherished. But the highest need for a man is to feel his wife’s respect and trust and admiration and honor.”

Shaunti says we can lavish lots of love on our husbands and that’s great, but, as she says, “if we don’t also show that we respect them—and maybe criticize them in public or question their decisions all the time—they’re going to feel disrespected, and then they won’t feel loved.” Do you ever think about how to respect your husband? Look at these 5 respect needs of men.

1. Respect his judgment
A man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions, and decisions—what I would call his judgment… many men wished their mate wouldn’t question their knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. It’s a touchy (and difficult) thing in these liberated days, but what it really comes down to is their need for us to defer to them.

Several men confessed that they felt like their opinions and decisions were actively valued in every area of their lives except at home. Some men felt that their comrades at work trusted their judgment more than their own wives did. Also, while a man’s partners or colleagues will rarely tell him what to do (they ask him or collaborate on the decision instead), more than one wife has made the mistake of ordering her husband around like one of the kids.

2. Respect his abilities
Another strong theme that emerged was that men want—even need—to figure things out for themselves. And if they can, they feel like they have conquered something and are affirmed as men. For some reason, spending hours figuring out how to put together the new DVD player is fun. Problem is, we want to help them—and guess how they interpret that? You got it: distrust. (It’s a wonder any relationships work and that the human race didn’t die out millennia ago!) And, of course, our attention is not all benign. Sometimes we truly don’t have confidence that our man can figure something out on his own.

The little things equal one big clue

We don’t realize that the act of forcing ourselves to trust our men in little things means so much to them, but it does. It’s not a big deal to us, so we don’t get that it’s a big deal to them. We don’t get that our responses to these little choices to trust or not trust—or, at least, act like we do!—are interpreted as signs of our overall trust and respect for them as men.

A man might think of it like this: If she doesn’t trust me in something as small as finding my way along a road, why would she trust me in something important, like being a good breadwinner or a good father? If she doesn’t respect me in this small thing, she probably doesn’t really respect me at all.

The next time your husband stubbornly drives in circles, ask yourself what is more important—being on time to the party or his feeling trusted. No contest.

3. Respect in communication
Women hold an incredible power in the way we communicate with our men (both husbands and sons) to build them up or to tear them down, to encourage or to exasperate. Some things just push a man’s buttons. This goes beyond what we say—such as questioning a man’s judgment or his abilities—and into how we say it (and where we say it, which is the subject of the next section).

The disconnect

In my interviews, a large number of men said something like this: When my wife says something disrespectful, I often think, I can’t believe she doesn’t know how that makes me feel! I had to reassure these men over and over that their wives probably didn’t mean to disrespect them and were likely just clueless.

4. Respect in public
Now we come to one of the most important points of the book. There appears to be an epidemic of public disrespect for men, and the biggest culprit is not the television, movies, or other media, but the women who are supposed to love their men most.

The most fragile thing on the planet

Dozens of men told me how painful it is when their wives criticize them in public, put them down, or even question their judgment in front of others. One man on the survey said that the one thing he wished he could tell his wife was that “at a minimum, she should be supportive of me in public.” That wish was repeated dozens of times on the survey—it was one of the strongest themes that emerged.

Consider this statement, which I have heard (in essence) from many men: “My wife says things about me in public that she considers teasing. I consider them torture.”

Be respectful even when he’s absent

Having seen how important public respect is to men (it is almost impossible to overstate), I have become incredibly sensitive to how often we might talk negatively about them behind their backs. The effects are much the same even when a man isn’t present: The women’s disrespect of her husband becomes even more deeply embedded as she harps on it, and those in listening range may begin to feel the same!

5. Respect in our assumptions
Unfortunately, in one area men have every right to read something into what we say—and that is when we have jumped to negative conclusions about them. When we really examine our communication, we’ll be astounded at how often it assumes something bad about the man we love. See if this assumption rings a bell.

We assume, “He needs to be reminded”

To us, repeatedly asking “Have you done it yet?” is probably not a big deal. But inherent in the question is our assumption that the guy needs the reminder—that he is either incapable of remembering on his own or that he remembers just fine but needs our prodding to do the job. What they are accurately hearing is, “I don’t trust you.”

Just realize that his reason for not doing it may be different from yours. Remember, half the men in the survey indicated that sometimes they just have different priorities. Or, they could just be unable to handle one more thing. One man with a stressful job noted that he sometimes feels like a computer that will crash if he tries to load one more thing onto it. For him, procrastinating on something his wife wants him to do at home is his warning sign that he will emotionally crash if he tries it.

Shaunti has more great insight into the respect needs of men. This article on how to read your husband’s “disrespect barometer” is great. http://www.imom.com/a-disrespect-barometer

So, is it difficult or easy for you to show respect to your husband?

Source: For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

thegirlyoulike:
does that mean single women shouldn't strive to be very rich?

timbuk2:
In other words a deeper life gurl could snatch you from rihanna****

twentyk:
baba how you dey take do am....

catwalq:
Oga wetin join wetin you read and wetin you respond.

Next thing now,we go hear say Nigerians eat poo all bcus you no understand the topic. All the things you said is just an exhibition of your ignorance/knowledge of Africans.

hammer6F:
Sir where are you from and i mean your ethnic group?


Y did u leave ur ethnic group and now opening thread about Igbos?


Fulani dey kill una on a daily basis yet every day, u non- igbos without culture will be opening thread to question another man culture?

cruzita:
Why do your traditional marriage in a strange land that knows nothing about your tradition.and besides their are sumtins the elders and older women are suppose to perform during her marriage.so will u pay for their flight