5minsmadness's Posts

Nairaland Forum › 5minsmadness's Profile › 5minsmadness's Posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 (of 187 pages)

Family › Re: Help!!! My Neighbour Is A Screamer by 5minsmadness: 1:06pm On Mar 06, 2015

snthesis:
i cant take this anymore......
....its been going on for too long
.....ive got a noisy couple in my apartment building and the lady is a screamer...
the couple get back home by 6pm, and the screaming moaning, indecent words (baby pls F$$k harder, its deep, pllssss, deeper, harder faster im sorry, i'll be good bla bla bla,) starts 30mins later and doesnt end for another 30mins, then i assume they go 4dinner cos it gets quiet, then another round of moaning screaming wailing start by 10p.m this goes on for atleast an 1hr- we manage to sleep off, only to be awakened by 4.30a.m with another rounds of more screams moaning shouting begging pleading demanding naughty dirty sound/words.

this sex pollution is causing alot of trauma cos ive noticed the change in attitude of my wife (like i aint doing it right and she greets my neighbour extra nicely). also my kids keep asking why my neigbhour is always beating his wife.

i need advise on what to do cos its really gettin outta hand.

yea the noise becomes worse if power goes out and we both have to open the windows to our apartment (serviced)

ive considered reporting but the basis of my report is quite awkward

Bros we are in the same boat oh. In this instance it is my landlord and his second wife.
https://www.nairaland.com/2024646/landlords-wife-screamer
The thing has become a normal event in our estate, such that even when she screams and moans we just go about our buisness like nothing is going on. I opened a thread about it but later realised there is nothing much I can do about it. My girl tried to get revenge her own way sha................ lipsrsealed

1 Like

Family › What If There Was No "Cheating" In Relationships? by 5minsmadness(op): 12:58pm On Mar 06, 2015

I realized yesterday that a lot of heartache in relationships come mostly from when a partner is unfaithful or even appears to be unfaithful. Wouldn’t it be nice if having sex with another person you are attracted to was as simple as shaking hands with the person? And you can gist about it with your partner afterwards?

Calm down, let’s think about it.

Tom is in a relationship with Ada. Tom likes all of Ada’s characteristics and thinks she will make a good wife. He of course finds her very sexualy attractive but sex on its own is not a big deal in this imaginary society and so does not play a very important role in the relationship dynamics.

Now there is this hot babe in Tom’s office, let’s call her Bisi. Bisi is extremely beautiful, a real life photoshop, succulent lips, huge bust, and an ikebe that should have its own house address ( it’s so huge). Unfortunately Bisi is very materialistic and shallow. Tom badly wants a fling with her but not anything serious that will lead to a relationship. After thinking about it fora while he calls Ada.

“Hello, Ada, how’s work, I think I would like to sleep with Bisi, she’s so sexy and I’m curious as to how she’ll be in bed.’

Ada : “Oh, okay, make sure you do all the necessary tests first, you know she likes to sleep around. Also ask her to do a pregnancy test first.’

Tom: Pregnancy test? Why so?

Ada: “Well, when I and my friend David were having sex over the weekend, he mentioned she was complaining that she was ovulating at the time and they didn’t use protection.”

Tom: “Oh okay, thanks. Will do so.”

Tom goes ahead and propositions Bisi who accepts. They then go to an ATM type of machine where their blood samples are taken and all the STD tests from HIV to gonorrhea are done. The results come out immediately and they are given the go ahead. Tom and Bisi then fix a convenient time and have sex! He even goes home and talks to Ada about it over dinner. She also relives her sexual escapades. Walla! No worries, no fear of STD, no heartbreak from infidelity!

Think of it. Sex has brought to much strife and hatred and backbiting and treachery to relationships. Wouldn't it be good if it was relegated to the background?

Family › Being Gay Is A Choice, Not Genetic Or Hereditary - Ben Carson(gifted Hands) by 5minsmadness(op): 10:09am On Mar 05, 2015

Ben Carson: Being gay is a choice — just look at prison

'A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight, and when they come out, they're gay,' possible 2016 GOP candidate says.

Ben Carson, a retired neurosurgeon and possible 2016 Republican presidential candidate, says he believes homosexuality is a choice. His proof? Prison.

"A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight," Carson said in an interview with CNN Wednesday. "And when they come out, they're gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question."

Carson's belief is at odds with others in the medical community who say "most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation."

The 63-year-old said he's open to granting legal rights to same-sex couples but not to changing the legal definition of marriage.

"Why do gay people want to get married? Why do they say they want to get married? Because they want to have various rights — property rights, visitation rights," he said. "Why can't any two human beings — I don't care what their sexual orientation is — why can't they have the legal right to do those things? That does not require changing the definition of marriage."

That position also puts Carson at odds with a majority of the country. A Gallup poll conducted last year found 55 percent of Americans support recognizing same-sex marriages as legally valid.

It's not the first time Carson has voiced his controversial views on gays. In a 2013 interview with Fox News, Carson compared homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia.

“It’s a well-established, fundamental pillar of society and no group — be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality — it doesn’t matter what they are, they don’t get to change the definition [of marriage],” Carson said.

He was forced to cancel a commencement speech at Johns Hopkins University over those remarks.

On Tuesday, Carson became the second major Republican to form a presidential exploratory committee.

“I’ve decided to explore a potential run for the office of president because I believe my values, life experience, and willingness to speak the truth and seek solutions, prepares me well to lead our nation toward more prosperity, security, and freedom for every American,” he said in a statement.

Carson is not the only possible 2016 GOP candidate to stir up controversy on the issue of same-sex couples.

Last month, Huckabee said homosexuality is a lifestyle choice like drinking and swearing — which is why he can accept friends who are gay, despite his religious convictions.

"People can be my friends who have lifestyles that are not necessarily my lifestyle," Huckabee said in an interview with CNN's "State of the Union." "I don't shut people out of my circle or out of my life because they have a different point of view. I don't drink alcohol, but gosh — a lot of my friends, maybe most of them, do. You know, I don't use profanity, but believe me, I've got a lot of friends who do. Some people really like classical music and ballet and opera — it's not my cup of tea."

Still, there's no chance the former Arkansas governor will ever accept gay marriage — whether he runs for president or not.

"This is not just a political issue," Huckabee said "It is a biblical issue. And as a biblical issue — unless I get a new version of the scriptures, it's really not my place to say, 'OK, I'm just going to evolve.'"

Asking a Christian to accept same-sex marriage, Huckabee said, is "like asking someone who's Jewish to start serving bacon-wrapped shrimp in their deli."

Nairaland General › Re: Top 100 List Of Cute And Funny Handles On Nairaland by 5minsmadness: 12:45am On Mar 05, 2015

guyANDROID1:
After being on nairaland for some time now, I always come across some funny and cute names/handles from the homepage comments which I can't help but to laugh hard or smile whenever I come across this set of handles.

50. 5minsmadness

yea yea, tankyu very much...

wait o,

why am I last o this list?
angry

[size=14pt]you dey craze![/size]

Family › Re: I Need Advice Concerning My Present Abode by 5minsmadness: 10:00am On Mar 03, 2015

Sorry op but you are in the wrong in this.
What will happen if in two months time again the new branch tells you they are not ready that you should wait another 3months? You'll go and meet the landlord again? Haba.

The options he gave you were reasonable but you pushed your will on him. Pls don't hold his apartment ransom. Pay for at least 6months if you can't pay for a year. Then if the other branch delays neither of you will have heart-attack over it. And like the guy above me said, if you want you can lock the room until your rent expires.

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 12:24am On Mar 03, 2015

Ishilove:
Yes, I'm 16 years old.

I repeat, she's griping about things that don't matter. You want to change what you have no power to change??

Her husband's ish with her punny is pyschological. Have you been in a labour room before? If you have then you'll understand where he is coming from.

The destiny of every woman's boob is south bound. No need crying over it.

Thankyou!

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 8:39pm On Mar 02, 2015

bukatyne:
Seriously?

You post trash for likes?

Interesting.

Keep to the romance section where you belong.

Goodnight

OMG I just figured it out shocked

[size=15pt]Bukatyne is the op!
[/size]
Damn ma'm you should av just said so from the beginning! So you are scared hubby is going to be lookin outside now that your br.eas.ts r looking like old unripe plantain cry

No wonder u were so pissed! Am sorry, am taking down that first post now!

But I didn't mean to offend ma'm seriously there is nothing u can do about it at this point. The only thing is to have faith that your husband loves more than just your bre.ast.s, he loves your whole person! You cant be young forever and neither can he! So when next u r having sex, remind him that you used to enjoy it when he sucked your brea..st like so and am sure he'll oblige u and do it again. Don't assume! Sex is not just about pleasing yourself, its about pleasing your partner! He'll be happy to suck it if he knows its what u like!

All the best hun! kiss

3 Likes

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 8:08pm On Mar 02, 2015

bukatyne:
You must think you are in the romance section.

A mother comes here to say her body changes brought about by childbirth is affecting her sex life and you are posting trash.

If a thread is over your head/level, leave it to people who have advice to give the OP.

Not every thread is a joke.

That 'trash' just got 33likes. Now go and hang yourself grin

2 Likes

Family › Re: Sacrifice All For Sake Of My Hubby by 5minsmadness: 8:02pm On Mar 02, 2015*

And now, because its long distance marriage...and of course men must be men...it is suddenly popping up and being suggested that the man must be selfish to want her to make such a move, even though he earns more. Also the man must be harbouring a woman in Nigeria since men cant stay 1hr without a woman by thier side. No one has mentioned if she has a boyfriend by the side in the UK after all her bodi too no be firewood...hilarious and presumptuous.

Missessay before this thread is over some of these 'women' would have put so much doubt and fear in you that even when you travel to Nigeria you'll travel prepared for war instead of your original purpose which was to put the spark back in your marriage. See them wishing you 'plenty of luck' already!

Miss, I advice you call your beloved husband and TALK TO HIM about your fears and worries! He is the one who you are moving in with and not the painted picture some people are giving you here. If you have financial issues then discuss with him. If you are looking for a job or a business then look to him for support. He is your better half and soulmate after all!

Or isn't he?

13 Likes 1 Share

Family › Re: Sacrifice All For Sake Of My Hubby by 5minsmadness: 7:50pm On Mar 02, 2015

Truckpusher:
*Spreads mat and listening to women complain all day*

Am telling ya dude!
My goodness!
They NEVER get tired!

If she was the one earning more now you would have heard them clamouring for the man's head, why cant he move, why are men so selfish, they thot cos she's abroad she'll be earning more...now that they see its hussie that earns more pay it has suddenly become a 'tough decision' LMAO grin

By the way, I rarely quote kanwuli..(I dey fear am shege!) but she has a point. Has anyone even bothered to ask if the man feels the same way about the separation?

5 Likes

Family › Re: Sacrifice All For Sake Of My Hubby by 5minsmadness: 7:45pm On Mar 02, 2015

KanwuliaJara:
[size=18pt]3. You are seeking advice from the 'misery love company' in the same group to console yourself that things will get better?
[/size]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! grin

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 7:31pm On Mar 02, 2015

Sophyrocks:
Woow. You're pretty.

And you believed her.
Smdh.

1 Like

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 7:27pm On Mar 02, 2015

bukatyne:
And who is on your lane?

Don't just go about sounding like a broken record on sensible threads.

Alright bae, alright.
I realise you've missed me, this one you've been following my ass up and down all day, but I've been real busy at work, no time to give u the attention you crave so much.

You sure have a strange way of showing ur love but I get it and I acknowledge your presence.

P.s its none of your business whether i sound like a broken record or jim carey's fart. Its a free forum, not your personal diary. If u don't like d comment, jump am pass.
Or better yet click 'like' instead of jealousying my posts.
Tanchu.

1 Like

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 5:16pm On Mar 02, 2015

somegirl1:
Surgery might be the only physical option.
I'm so scared of my breasts falling, I wear a bra all the time.

Wearing a bra all the time actually slackens the ligaments that keep the bre.ast.s firm.

12 Likes

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 4:54pm On Mar 02, 2015*

bukatyne:
It is not compulsory to comment on threads

If you do not have anything sensible to contribute, please waka pass

This is not the first thread

Follow your own advice.

And kindly keep off my lane.

29 Likes 3 Shares

Family › Re: Nil by 5minsmadness: 4:48pm On Mar 02, 2015

Shoot her.

Shoot her now before she becomes impervious to bullets.

I know what I'm saying.

Family › Re: How Can I Revive My Fallen Bosoms After Nursing Two Children? by 5minsmadness: 4:44pm On Mar 02, 2015

You can't.

Don't worry. Your husband isn't shallow. He married you for more than your brea.sts.

Right?

53 Likes

Family › Re: My Dad Often Gets Unclad In The House And I Don't Lyk It by 5minsmadness: 3:59pm On Mar 02, 2015

Op congrats! You made front page!

Family › Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by 5minsmadness: 3:32pm On Mar 02, 2015

I laugh in Greek.

Real life is going to teach some people some hard lessons.

5 Likes

Family › Re: My Newly Married Wife Is A Lesbian...#i Need Your Advices by 5minsmadness: 12:47pm On Mar 02, 2015

Jokes apart though...

Click like if you don't mind your wife being a lesbian.
Click share if it will offend you that she is a lesbian!

3 Likes 5 Shares

Family › Re: My Newly Married Wife Is A Lesbian...#i Need Your Advices by 5minsmadness: 12:45pm On Mar 02, 2015

pinkyz:
hello fellow nairalander...please am in between the devil and the deep blue sea. my marriage is just about 2 months old...and its already heading for the rocks. I met her 18months ago and we dated all through before we later tied the knot 2months ago. during our courtship...I noticed she keeps female friends..and when I ask her...all she tells me is #they are just my friends. so after we got married...I saw a text msg sent by one of her friend...#honey I missed you. I wish we had fun before your marriage#. when I confronted and threaten my wife....she later open up and told me everything. right now as i speak...we both work and lives in different state. she (abuja)...me(lagos). please fellow nairalander...I need your candid advices on what to do.

Advice on what? I see no problem here.

Or are you SERIOUSLY trying to tell us that you'll be OFFENDED if your wife truly is a LESBIAN? No be to do sharp man arrange THREES0ME?? Bros Na wa for u ooo

1 Like

Family › Re: What Would You Advice Her? by 5minsmadness: 11:48am On Mar 02, 2015

FrancisTony:
Okay, Lemme inquire what's the cause from her brother....

...and op was beaten senseless for not minding his own business and never came back to complete the story cry

THE END.

Christianity Etc › Re: Iron Dome Operator: God Moved Missile We Couldn't Hit by 5minsmadness: 6:54am On Mar 02, 2015

timonski:
why didn't He let d missiles strike first, and with power of magnetism cause the explosion to cease? At least, that would have more impressive.

Your singularly personal opinion.

1 Like

Family › Re: My Wife Says She Won't Cook For Me Again. Pls Advice! by 5minsmadness: 11:32pm On Mar 01, 2015

It's obvious from your moniker that you too like food...just one day...you never do fasting before? Hian

Since you can make pap make some pap and eat jo. Tomorrow make pap for the whole family and force them to eat it. Do same for lunch and dinner. Your wife will fight to start cooking your food again!

2 Likes

Christianity Etc › Re: Iron Dome Operator: God Moved Missile We Couldn't Hit by 5minsmadness: 10:23pm On Mar 01, 2015

johnydon22:
Christians shaaaa...

What?

He allowed the thousands of missiles isreal sent of gaza to fall on gaza and kill thousands of innocent children and you all are rejoicing

Nobody talked of innocent children here, only the defence of Israel. And people shouldn't start a war they cant win.

No am sure when Nigeria have a conflict with isreal he will move our own missile and allow theirs to fall on Nigeria... ndi mgbu...

If Nigeria has a conflict with isreal then you better run grin

Moved missile... Joke

Moved missile...Miracle

2 Likes

Family › Re: What Would You Advice Her? by 5minsmadness: 8:49pm On Mar 01, 2015

FrancisTony:
1) Nah! Just her sisters wedding. Her younger sister husband was a tenant in their house and he is also a business man.
I think he was the one that invited the dude.

2) Yes

3) Yes

4) Yes. But not pressuring her, just an advice.

5) All? Maybe

P.s.
You haven't told us the exact cause of the quarrel, so advice will be limited. But if all the family.members(maybe) are telling her to go back then maybe she should swallow her pride and go back.

1 Like

Family › Re: What Would You Advice Her? by 5minsmadness: 8:47pm On Mar 01, 2015

FrancisTony:

An error.
No vex.

Family › Re: Please What Would You Do If Your Dad Refuses To Allow Yo To Change Church by 5minsmadness: 8:24pm On Mar 01, 2015

Daisydeevarh:
Please I need advice on what to do, I have decided to change my church from the main family church to a new one mainly because I find peace and rest of mind in this new church unlike the other where you can't comfortably sit because gossipers are every where and they are both bible-believing church but my Dad has threatened to deal with me if I change saying he owns my life and he decides what I do with it and so I can't leave the church but that's where my mind is and I believe I own my life so I decide what I do with it and also have been experiencing unexpected miracle since I joined this church. Please I need your advice on what to do. Thanks

Even the bible says to 'Honour your father and your mother so that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.'

Having said that, a lot depends on your age. If you are below 18 and still living in your parent's house then I advise you to follow your dad's admonishing. You can find time to visit the other church during thier midweek service or even after your family church's Sunday service but don't bring discord to the family by being rebellious because you think you have 'seen the light'. I can tell you that it never works out on the long run.

If you are above 18 and still living in your father's house I advice you still follow the above.

If you are above 18 and living in hostel or on your own then its simple. Go to your church when you are in hostel/your own place, and go to the family church when in your father's house.

Don't let anyone deceive you with 'I came to put a sword between father and son...' and all that. Most of the time they are looking out for their own selfish interests and how to swell thier church or defend thier own actions.

Peace.

Family › Re: is Breastfeeding sexually arousing ? by 5minsmadness: 8:05pm On Mar 01, 2015

FrancisTony:
Any woman that get aroused by breastfeeding is or has a paedophile tendency.

It's just like asking guys whether they would getting aroused just by a female toddler sitting on their laps/dick.

Some women are aroused by it (and get used to it) while others are not.
It has nothing to do with paedophilia.

4 Likes

Family › Re: What Would You Advice Her? by 5minsmadness: 8:00pm On Mar 01, 2015

FrancisTony:
Well, this is about my female cousin.
Though, I've an advice for her, but I'm still a young boy and she would probably not heed to it.

She studied Architecture and got married the exact year she graduated.
Actually, she's the first child and her mum died on her penultimate year in University.
She gave birth to her first child(a girl), second child(boy) and third(girl) before she did her NYSC. She applied for a job through an advert, viola! She got the job but it was in University of Ilorin for an Architectural plans, and we all live in Lagos. Her husband obliged to it and she respected his decision.

She's in her early thirties, and she is now having a problem with her husband - i'm not sure they have divorced but she is no longer living with him. She was pregnant as of that time, and she just delivered her fourth child which happened to be a girl. During her Younger sister wedding ceremony, her husband was invited and she, herself was also there. He didn't even care to touch or carry the new born baby from her. He only came with his Asian male friend and they left afterward.

Whenever she wants to visit her children in their school, those kids would be shying away from her and it seems the man has poisoned their heart.
She currently stays with one our Uncle even though her dad owns a house, he is pestering and disturbing her to go back to her husband house and many people are advising her the same.

She's more educated than her husband as he's only an Igbo business man(he's practically well-do and owns a house too) and we aren't from the state.

Though she's looking for a job and swore not to beg her husband, I would like to get an advice from Nairalanders. Maybe, I would show her the comments to know her reactions.

Thanks

Family › Re: What Would You Advice Her? by 5minsmadness: 7:57pm On Mar 01, 2015

Correct me if I'm wrong but;

1. Her own family still invites him for occasions

2. Her own auntie goes to visit him

3. Her own children shy away from her

4. Her own uncle who is housing her is telling her to go back to her husband

5. All her family members have told her to go back to her husband

Op could it be ever so slightly possible that she could be the wrong member here and just needs to swallow her educated pride and apologise for whatever reason and return to her matrimonial home?

Family › Re: How Come We Dont Have Full House Husband In Nigeria? by 5minsmadness: 7:45pm On Mar 01, 2015

No. Its because we don't have lazy irresponsible men like they do abroad.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 (of 187 pages)