₦airaland Forum

aisha2:
I didn't bring about any angle, someone murdered someone. Now what is expected is condemnation a life has been taken not to say " ehnnn the murdered person May have deserved having their life stuffed out because they provoked the murderer"
No matter the gender of the murdered and murderer you don't take another human life because its not yours to take

'deserved'??

Pls who said this?

aisha2:
But some of the men still expect that after a hard day the woman will come home and still perform her duties as is done in Africa. Failure to do so will earn her the tag of bad wife who wants to be westernised.
There are case scenarios for each of the scenes we have both painted. For me the way to get back at someone who hurts you is not by murdering them

@bolded, understatement of the year. This is not a case of 'she hurt me'. If the man was willing to throw away his freedom and his kinds and damn it all then it has surpassed 'hurt'.

Nobody is saying murder is right. But wether we like it or not it is happening. The thing is not to push your man to the wall or frustrate him to the point of wanting to kill you and ruin himself. These spouses killed their wives knowing fully well it would be the end for them but they didn't care. You cant just chalk it down to hurt feelings, something deeper was at work.

aisha2:
All men are not beasts. I say this respectfully ; speak for yourself. If you consider yourself one please don't make out other men to be like you. Its something you should work on personally and not attempt to draw other men into this road with you..

My father is not a beast
My brothers and cousins are no beast
My husband is no beast
My sisters are not married to beasts
So from these men I know,met and respect daily I stand to say No all men are not beasts and Pickabeau you chose to speak for will certainly agree that men are no beast. At least I have interacted with him and he is no beast, he is a kind hard working charitable man not a beast

I hear you.
When I said all men are beasts I was being allegorical(I hope I got that right). Its a common slang among the women folk so I was using it to pass across my point.

aisha2:
" you have nothing to live for then you have everything to die for" That was the opening please explain

Pickabeau1, if I may.

Men and women are wired differently. That is pure fact. This equality bullcrap modernists keep harping on is for political correctedness, nothing more.

Now a guy hustles and gathers enough pay to go abroad for greener pastures. He finally lands in America or wherever and realises he has to work his ass off and follow certain laws that were not predominant where he came from. He toils and suffers through racism and the law, condescending attitudes and whatnot until he is able to stand on his own two feet. He then brings you the woman from the same hellhole(for want of a better word,pls pardon me.) he escaped from and the woman is more than happy to come to obodoyibo with him. She accords him all the respect, is as humble as she can be and the man believes that truly he has married a gem, someone he can share his dreams and aspirations with. He brings her to his home and looks for a job for her.

Then all of a sudden she realises that oga is 'just a man', 'useless' etc. She begins to talk and she never stops . All of a sudden he is not good enough. She no longer respects him and starts saying things like 'respect I earned'. Bleep her. When he struggled to bring her abroad he didn't earn the respect abi? When he made sure she passed through the law he didn't earn the respect. When he finally ensured she got the job he didn't earn the respect. All of a sudden he is a useless man and she knows if he talks too much she just has to whislte and the police will haul his ass to jail regardless of who is wrong...all of a sudden all his dreams and aspirations are meaningless and his whole existence revolves around pleasing this woman he brought from her father's ##£% of a house...

A man would rather die.
A man would rather die than subject himself to such nonsense.

And don't say divorce is the answer cos we all know divorce most times favours the woman.


All men are beasts yes. So if you are getting married to a man you should learn how to tame that beast.

aisha2:
I can't even deal with this line of thought, all women abroad are not evil, marry who you know and stop running to marry girls you don't know just so you can act like a barbarian abeg.
This is sad coming from someone abused so all thosr times you got beaten shebi you provoked your ex? You make it sound as if these women earn their deaths did you earn every slap and belt you received

Modified. Never mind.
Wait...
I cant believe you said this.

Sophyrocks:
A man who is too proud and never admits his mistakes and never apologises is a recipe for a horrible marriage and isnt ready to remain married. He should have remained single. In fact he still has a lot of growing up to do. The Op's husband needs to watch himself else that marriage breaks down.

Abeg go siddon. She didn't see all of this before she married him? Are you sure it wasn't the pride and confidence that follows it that endeared her to him in the first place?

chaircover:
If you found condoms in your wife's pocket what will you think?
Sometimes it's our actions that determine how people react

Madam chaircover I am not the husband. I know a couple going through the exact same issues cinon mentioned here and I know what was initially presented was the truth. The condom and womanizing part was a BIG LIE. I called her out severally on this thread to confirm if she was the one(as anonymously as possible) and she ignored me so I understood silence for consent. I was shocked when I saw the condom angle. Everybody knows 'oga' to be a no nonsense and very proud man; that is hos major fault, it isn't hidden. And trust me, I know the womanizers in my group , he is definitely not one of them. The true fact of the matter is in her original post. I can only decipher that she decided to make it more sensational cos she didn't get the response she wanted initially. I even brought the thread to oga's attention andhe was beyond pissed, just that he isn't the Nairaland type. It is just a pity that most women here expect men to be cheats if not it won't sweet them.
Am not talking again as Av been told to let it rest but lies are lies and painting someone bad and hiding the truth so as to get pity is the lowest of the low.

"Yes I have killed the woman that messed up my life; the woman that has destroyed me. I am at Shalom West. My name is David and I am all yours

This.

Men are built,innately, for WAR.

Weah96:
You should have used stones and sticks to post this message na. Leave the technology to us.

The master was asked what he thought of the achievements of modern technology. This was his reply;

An absent-minded professor was late for his lecture. He jumped into the cab and shouted, "Hurry! At top speed!"

As the cab sped along he realised he hadn't told the driver where to go, so he shouted, "Do you know where I want to go?"

"No,sir," said the cabbie, "but I'm driving as fast as I can."

chaircover:
So there is cheating involved . .
You threatened to leave and he called your bluff . . not looking good
You also mentioned begging . . begging is not your first point of call.
He can beg you today and this evening go back to his ways.
What you should be concentrating on is him realising that cheating is not an option and do what you mean
No point threatenng him if you wont do it.

What U need to do is take a deep breath and look at the whole picture logically and then decide what you want to do. You can only do that with a clear head.

Pls madam chiarcover there was no cheating involved. The man in question is a proud (very proud) man and the op's issue with him was his inability to take correction. The argument spiralled out of proportion and madam said some very bad things that pissed oga off and he responded in kind. This lead to the threat to leave and the transport fare saga. I know I said I wont talk but abeg this one don too much and a lot of people respect your advice.

danbrowndmf:
so why is iy dat most churches are against it?

Because most churches follow pastors blindly.

frank317:
Very well, u observed I was frustrated, and I observed you were a fool for assuming I was frustrated.

Lol. I knew you would say that.

damiso:
...he choosing to overlook my silliness at those times was him being the bigger person and moving forward because the marriage meant more to him than my silliness at the time .

Oh come oooon.

So no matter what the woman does the man always has to suck it up and be the bigger person. But tomorrow you people will be arguing for headship and equal partnership ish.

Marriage is just unfair to men.

frank317:
1. Is calling me 'frustrated' a blessing or an insult? When you answer this then we can start comparing it with anything I called you afterwards.

2. What the hell is 'spiritually minded person' I am not cut out for phrases that makes no sense to me.

3. Ok

1, its an observation, not a blessing or an insult. Its definitely better than calling someone a fool.

2. Well put. That summarises your arguments very well.

The op keeps peeking in and enjoying the fracas she has created

ileobatojo:
Even when you told her your wh0res were better than her?

Lol!
No be me talk dat one. The babe is lying Jo, that's not what happened and oga is not the type that lays his matter on social media. He used my handle and left in a fit of anger. Me I no join mouth again let them settle their issues.

ileobatojo:
The prostitute you were chatting with nko?

What are you talking about?

I deny everything

You ladies on this forum are something else. You don't even read between the lines before making your well laid down default assumptions.

Well, Me I don reach my house. My advice is that ladies should be careful with their words. I have opened a thread about it before. Don't use your words to push a guy to the wall then when the guy comes out for battle you start crying blue murder.

Also LYING IS A SIN!

Good night.

Yesterday I decided to have a good conversation with my husband on certain matters affecting our marriage for its good. And it turned nasty. Though i expected it but not to the extent of how it ended. My husband doesn't know how to handle certain issues. He told me my own faults which I agreed to work on and I also told he him his fault but he refused to accept it.

To cut the story short, it turned out to be a heated argument because he always insists he does the right things while I do the wrong ones. And it became a tongue lashing thing. I am not the abusive person but i was surprised at what I said maybe because the issue has been Piling up which I feel bad about. He too said hurtful things to me later on.

I also said I wasn't interested in the marriage if he can't accept his fault and make efforts to change.

And so you decided to bring those issues to Nairaland and accuse of cheating? Where? When? Because you cannot apologise for your foul language yesterday now am d culprit?

This is not a case of cheating. It is a silly argument that went out of hand with somebody running her mouth and daring the other person.
There was NO condom at anytime in anyone's possession.

Cleaning a fish, threw the fish intestine into the frying pan and the fish into the dustbin

frank317:
1. Ok, let me quote 'you come of as an intelligent person but in actual fact you are a highly frustrated person' I guess the statement above is a blessing and not an insult in your religion. Pls stop playing nice guy, it does not tell well of you.



2. Lol... Ya, I bet they were all Christians. I am not here to buy lies. Is Bill gate or Mandela or princess Diana a member of your Church?




3. You think the best way I can find peace is to believe in the bible? You sit down in the comfort of your home and assume I have no peace? Do you know that's arrogant? When I attack you based on your false assumption of me, do not play the victim

1. Show me the insult there. Is it 'frustrated'? Would you put it in the same category as 'useless' 'incompetent' or your most recent 'fool'?
Like I said. You don't argue for resolution. You argue for argument sake. Your idea of winning an argument is you getting the last word. Have fun doing so.

2. No, those are your words. I spelt it out clearly spiritually minded people both good and evil but of course your biased mind didn't see that part. You just feel all christians are the same religious bunch that don't think and follow their leaders blindly. So you attack all christians for no reason. Sounds like frustration to me.

3. Feel free to attack me oh. After all you quoted me first. Who is asking you to believe in the bible? I already said I have left you to your machinations. God gave you free will, do with it as you want.

crackhaus:
Is it just me, or did the poster's story get more sensational after her initial OP?

That aside, the way you talked about your husband on this thread can be likened to how a woman talks about someone she truly detests - so I don't see why you should even want an apology.
Take a walk already and quit longing for sympathy here.

I was shocked to come back to this thread this evening and see all this. Unless she is not the one which I am still waiting for her to refute then the second part of the story is a big lie.

Op.

Op.

Op.

How many times did i call you.

Unless you are not b***a then I'm sorry.


But if you are, then YOU ARE LYING.
And I will call your husband to this thread if you don't tell the truth.
Your husband cheating would have been the first thing you would have said, not his proud ways.
Now you have gotten the pity party you wanted by mentioning condoms and things that were not originally there.

Unless you are not the lady whose husband has currently asked the gateman to give the keys back to you br***a.


Correct your story o.

plaetton:
If you realize that he is HAPPY where he is, then how can you in the same breath say that he is spiritually frustrated?

I mean, the person who prays to invisible sky fairy every day for this or for that is a lot more likely to be spiritually frustrated than a person who does not.

Don't you think so?

Ahhh plaetton. A different kettle of fish entirely, you are.

I was being sarcastic. If he is so frigging happy, why does he keep asking questions all the time? Its just that am not a gung-ho bible weilding type of christian. I don't believe anyone should be forced into accepting anything. So I backed off and let him be.

As per your second paragraph, that's what you think and you are entitled to your opinion. The fact that it is a wrong opinion does not stop you from declaring it so go ahead.

frank317:
Nice to know you don't insult back. You use degrading and abusive words on people in the name of religion and shout like you are the victim when people react. Well, if u insult me I get back at u while its hot.

Pls show me where I have used abusive words on you so I can apologise.

If I am spiritually frustrated than that's in fact a good nows. Spirit things are for the lazy minds not active brains like mine.

Some of the most powerful and intelligent men in history(both good and bad) have been spiritually inclined so this your statement is not correct. Google is your friend.

Lol... U.. Help me... I don suffer. Help me with what? Find my creator? Is your creator blind that he can't find me?

Not to find your creator but to find peace. God has shown you the door already. It is left for you to open it, He doesn't force anybody.

Sorry bro. I don't need your help. Like u said, I am more than happy where I am, I don't want to get delude in spiritual things.

Enjoy with the spirits.

Of course you don't need help because you are not ready for it. When you are ready, you will seek it.

Shalom.

frank317:
Lol...u are just a big fool for thinking I am frustrated. Whatever gave you that idea. This is how u foolishly assume anything u want and it becomes ur reality. I am not surprised you are a Christian.

Its not an idea. It oozes from your writeups that you are spiritually frustrated. I thought I could help earlier but I was wrong. You are happy where you are so stay there.
And since you are not surprised I am a christian then it wouldn't surprise you either if I don't insult you back. Not this time anyway.

frank317:
OK.


Can you stop quoting me? You have proved to me that you are not capable of such discussion with me in the other thread.

Remember, we only communicate with each other with Ok as from now.

Lol, Na so e pain you? Weren't you the one that quoted me first?


You try to come off as intelligent but in actual fact you come off as a highly frustrated individual. Your sole aim is not to learn anything new or 'discuss' as you so aptly put it but to ridicule Christianity as much as possible. Its so funny that it is sad. Not everybody has time to be going back and forth with you.

Ok?

lofty900:
contrary to most opinions, it's actually good to make threats whether u have the balls to carry it out or not. I've seen it work many times.The secret is to study the person before making a threat. Anyways, my advice is for you to retain ur dignity and prestige as a wife of value who knows her worth and file for divorce. I'm not saying divorce him. Take ur threat to a higher level let him see that u r serious. he will come begging. If he comes home and still find u in the house, on ur knees, automatically u will become a rag in his sight and he can do wateva he please. But if he comes home, see divorce papers staring him in the face, he'll beg especially when the terms and conditions are not favorable to him.

As in eh, BIG MISTAKE. Op do not try this at home, at work, or anywhere!

frank317:
Lol... So when ur teacher marks you wrong in an exam question, u go home and tell your dad that your teacher refused to accept your answer.

Religion: the only institution where even meaningless answer must be accepted.

This only portends when the teacher has the unbiased and correct answer.

You are NOT a teacher.

I agree with lastmessenger's answer.

And when the questions are answered you guys will refuse the answer. So what's the point?

danbrowndmf:
sorry am not getn u,throw more light

Wine is defined as 'an alcoholic drink made from fermented grape juice.'
Once it is wine, it is alcoholic.