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Family › Re: Do You Really Love The Person You Married? by 5minsmadness(op): 3:53pm On Oct 07, 2016
raumdeuter:
5minsmadness

What you call love itself is predicated on some factors, If you find those factors gone, then the love is probably gone too. E.g the person you love currently if you found out she used to be a man or is platting to kill you

Also love isn't enough, there are many things like common goals, common background, similar ambition, mutual-respect etc
Hmm.
Ok
Family › Re: He Lost His Job, His Wife Left Him By Joseph edgar by 5minsmadness: 3:49pm On Oct 07, 2016
ItsQuinn:
Not referring to the topic, generally speaking smiley
But its the topic we are all talking about isnt it? We are not talking about irresponsible men or men who kill thier wives are we? So why bring something unrelated to the topic? We are talking about a good man who lost his job. Should his wife leave him for greener pastures or should she stand by him in his difficult times?
Family › Re: He Lost His Job, His Wife Left Him By Joseph edgar by 5minsmadness: 3:43pm On Oct 07, 2016
puresaint12:
Lol as in, I don taya
Some women are so filled with bitterness and guilt that they see all threads as female bashing threads. None of them came out to praise the op's mother for her steadfastness and courage, all they saw was op bashing a woman for leaving her matrimonial home even when its obvious from the story that it was the wrongest time to do so as that was when the man needed her the most.
They are quick to praise the deserter and insult the one that stayed to support her man. And yet they say they are the ones being victimised.

Lol in spanish!
Family › Re: He Lost His Job, His Wife Left Him By Joseph edgar by 5minsmadness: 3:35pm On Oct 07, 2016
ItsQuinn:
even though he becomes very irresponsible and refuse to change? undecided
Did the storyline mention the man being irresponsible and 'unwilling to change'?

It was a story about a man desperately seeking a job. That man didnt sound lazy. His wife left him at his lowest point.

The op then remembered his father who lost his job and because of it became depressed, yet his wife stood by him.

Both stories show both a good woman and a bad woman.

How did it turn to an apparent female bashing thread as presupposed by some certain ladies if they didnt react out of guilt?
Family › Re: He Lost His Job, His Wife Left Him By Joseph edgar by 5minsmadness:
VikingsOO7:
My brother, fear Nairaland women. One just have to be prayerful. Angel Gabriel should pls hurry up and blow that trumpet.
Ahahahaha grin

See them, they are complaining now that they are always being attacked, and bringing up fantasy stories of "real men" that support them: they have quickly forgotten that they were the ones who started it.

Back then in 2010 almost all posts were anti-guys. How men are beasts and how men are hateful and how men rape little girls. And they would come in their sordid packs and attack the male gender with glee. Now the male folk are wising up, the tables have turned. Fewer and fewer nairaland guys are kissing thier asses. Hahahaha!! E dey pain them! Simple story with a simple moral on how to stay with your husband in times of difficulty and they are running around like cockroaches caught in the light, guilt conscience making them utter all sorts of nonsense.


Thank God there all still good women out there that we men will love and cherish and even give our lives for if it comes to it!


Invite: crackhaus, timboktou. You might enjoy this.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 2:10pm On Oct 07, 2016
Iamfrank:
lol @op..... ur husband is just an example of me I swear, lemme tel u how my gf reacted cz am alwaz quick to apologize.....unfortunately ur husband is a player just like me.... (na only we know our weak point) try dis n it will work.....

one day my gf came to c me, so I was in d bathroom n I left my phone inside, immediately I came out my gf was holding my phone n was crying seriously, I already know y sh was crying, (lemme tel u sumtin, d tears of any good woman weakens ha man, no matter what) so I quickly wanna apologize saying it is dose women forcing demselves on me (Dats d lies we tel wen we r caught) sh just told me calmly to sit down n sh said sum words dat weakened me all day like "baby I love you so much, u r my king, u r my everything, I will worship d ground u walk on, sh went on n on without stopping n with d tears from ha eyes I almost cried. .... Dats how I stop..... Bt I wanna tel u sumtin, u r not giving ur husband d kind of s*x position he wants I am very sure abt dat, he mit not tell you but it a simple fact, Dats men for u, bcz he knows if he does u wudnt like it considering d type of woman u r (religious n decent)..... if you try dat step n it didn't work just pm me I will tell u of anoda easy step.....
Cc napa
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 11:25am On Oct 06, 2016
@Napa
So curious me went seeking extra information and found some stuff. I guess you like your privacy so all i'll say is "It is well with you." Sorry about all the wahala.

Be positive. Dont be a recluse. Interact more with people. Life is beautiful. Have fun, enjoy it.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 9:21am On Oct 06, 2016
napa:
@5minsmadness, there are no kids yet, sex life is ok and both of us know I'm good looking because he knows i still get constant compliments for my good looks. I sincerely don't know what the issue is. I just feel he wants to explore and satisfy some fantasies but I'm getting emotionally hurt. I pity myself most times. It's only my mom that knows [/b]what is happening and she's been praying with me.[b] I'm a woman of few words, i hardly discuss my affairs with people.
@veave, no he doesn't beat me. There's no reason why he would do that. Our marriage is really somehow (i don't know if that's how other marriages are). I rarely ask him for money because i work in a well paid organisation, i don't disturb him for nothing. All i want is care and love, nothing more.

I'm from an average family of 3 children , he doesn't have any pressure from any members of my family and i definitely know it's not about the children that have not come, we've been on it from the first year of our marriage. This is really getting at me. I just felt like pouring out my mind.
Why havent u had any kids?
Have u seen doctors? Whats the diagnosis?

Woukd showing him this thread help?

@bolded, u sound like a quiet type of person. Maybe you should come out of your shell more. (Am sorry to say :maybe he's bored?) Ask him to take you out to dinner, or a movie or something. Find something both of you enjoy doing, whatever, bottom line is, let him spend more time with you.



Another thing you can do is to make yourself less predictable. Men like a challenge. Come home late once in a while, let him be the one to ask where you have been. He may feel that he has gotten you in his pocket thats why he does whatever he likes and then apologises quickly. Shake him up a bit.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 9:08am On Oct 06, 2016
sunvick:
Bravo!! I like your tactics. Creating avenue to be distracting or disturbing him till his home..
Trust he would start seeing her as a nagging wife.
Better a nagging wife than a dead one.

You would be surprised napa's husband sees her as the quiet type. She herself described her lifestyle as triangular. It is possible communication (real heartfelt communication) is an issue, maybe she hardly complains or raises hell when she catches him cheating.

More nagging talking on her part might open the way for him to express his true feelings.

@napa pls note that his behavior is his fault alone. No one is balming you for anything. We are simpky trying to come up with a solution that will be best for everyone, you and him included.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 8:56am On Oct 06, 2016
sisisioge:
Baby, I was just about to call you so you could advise her correctly. Thank you!

I actually have no words for her...don't know what to say. However, I remember a story of a family. The story is really real...

The husband was a serial cheat who defiled all reasons and interventions. Guy eventually got aids. He infected the wife and all the kids! That part of the lineage is no more now. I wish he had listened or she had divorced him eventually. Oloshilawonokunrin...them be SOB!
That's a tragedy. Op should protect herself first, educate him on the real threat of HIV, let him go for test and use a condom for the next six months after which he repeats the tests for confirmation.
Family › Re: Do You Really Love The Person You Married? by 5minsmadness(op): 7:22am On Oct 06, 2016
diva90:
How many people even know what love is these days? Even at that, It takes way more than love to sustain a marriage my dear
This is a common quote nowadays. Permit me to say that it is wrong. People nowadays have mushroom love. They love thier partner because of what they gain from them. Of course when that thing disappears so will the 'love'! And then they will say love alone cannot sustain a marriage.

A marriage, which is a lifetime commitment, should have a stronger foundation, a stronger bonding agent, to keep both partners together for the long journey. I believe that stronger bonding agent should be a love so deep, it will be willing to take the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes. True love is refined by fire, just like gold. Love, faith in your partner and faith in God is key.

Trust is easily broken. Perseverance is stronger and more tenacious. There is something mature and refined and priceless about a couple that have gone through fire together and for each other at one point or the other in thier marriage.

Cc tbaba1234, napa, taryour, nickxtra.
Family › Re: Do You Really Love The Person You Married? by 5minsmadness(op):
.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 6:58am On Oct 06, 2016
napa:
Thanks. I am indeed getting really tired. I just feel if I were some wild girls he won't try what he's been doing. Love is getting a bit cold. I hope I will be able to put up with this longer
Ah! The "bitter people" have not yet woken up. They will soon come with rude, self righteous and obnoxious comments that will make you hate your husband so much and then finally give you advice on how to divorce him "before you die of AIDS". People that will tell you they wont take such nonsense from thier man meanwhile they are suffering worse. I hope you can sift the good advice from the bad and dont let bitterness cloud your heart.

My advice.

He is a serial cheat. He is addicted to sex. I still thinknit would be better you involve an elderly person that knows the both of you. Someone he respects. Let that person advice and chastise him. Secondly help him stop this bad habit. Begin by telling him you are afraid he will catch sexually transmitted diseases outside. Insist on using a condom until he cleans up his act. Let him go for checkups at the hospital.

What way does he meet these girls? Facebook? Whatsapp? Tell him to stop communications with them. He should delete their numbers in your prescence. If he wont listen to you, let the elderly person demand that he does this. Avoiding contact with the girls will reduce his chances of having sex with them.

Insist he comes home early. What kind of work does he do? Start calling him from 8pm that there is an errand you want him to run. Disturb his phone. Bring up important issues he has to address in thr house. There is no fuel, milk for the kids has finished, you need recharge card urgently to call your mom/his mom/relative in the UK, something that will make him not to be at peace wherever he is until he gets home. These are little tricks other lades use.

Also, pray for him. Pray for your marriage. I knw right now its not looking easy and you are hurting and emotionally tired and frustrated but there's light at the end of the tunnel. With God all things are possible. You can pray for him and get others to join you in prayer. You dont need to tell them what it is. You can say it is a special request.

Do you have kids? What is your sex life like?

Will add more later. Rushing to work.


All the best.
Family › Re: My Serial Cheating Husband Keeps Begging For Forgiveness by 5minsmadness: 6:57am On Oct 06, 2016
Double post.

@napa.

Everyone is entitled to thier advice.

Follow advice that will strengthen your marriage.

Unless you came here looking for encouragement to divorce. In that case you will definitely find it.

Good luck.
Family › Re: Do You Really Love The Person You Married? by 5minsmadness(op): 2:45pm On Oct 05, 2016
obowunmi:
People don't love who they marry.

They often marry because of societal pressures and to have kids.
And this is why thier marriages fail.
Why promise to spend the rest of your life with someone you dont love? How would that work?
Family › Do You Really Love The Person You Married? by 5minsmadness(op): 1:54pm On Oct 05, 2016
Sometimes i see all the break up news about marriages and i wonder, why did you get married in the first place? Is your love for your spouse so fragile that you would break up at the slightest opportunity? You found out she is three years older than you and you want to divorce, you found out he is cheating on you and you want to divorce, he slapped you for the first time during an argument, u threathen divorce, what kind of marriages do we have these days? You marry someone and declare you will stay with him for the rest of your life, how do you intend to do that if you buckle and give up at the first sign of hardship? What inspiring story of travails and overcoming obstacles will you tell your kids or the future generations if you want to run at the drop of a hat? Do you think living with an individual FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES, that you will not find something horribly ugly? You honestly think you wont find flaws? What do you call your Love, if you cannot help your partner to become a better person, if you cannot suffer for him or her, if you cannot sacrifice anything for the one you love, if you cannot put your life on the line... What kind of fake love is that?

And for those who take advice to divorce him or her here, havent you noticed that the people advising you are either singles or have seemingly perfect partners? Partners with no flaws? And you believe them and get emotionally upset with thier vicious remarks and then go on to fight your spouses at home? Fighting your real life partner because of something an unknown person, probably a 15yr old said on the internet?

You are not wise. You are not wise at all.

If you truly love your partner then you should be quick to forgive. If you truly love your partner u wont wait for him or her to show you love first. If you truly married for love and not for material gains then your marriage will not be easily broken no matter the kind of rocks and daggers thrown at it. You should even be ashamed, bringing your intimate marital issues before unknown teenages and people with bitter spirits instead of meeting familiar and wise and elderly friends in real life, people whose marriages you have seen have stood the test of time in real life, not these mushroom advices you recieve here.


I have seen husbands in real life forgive thier wives for cheating, i have seen wives being celebrated by thier husbands for sticking to them during thier years of irresponsibility and drunkenness. Dont let those who couldn't do it trick or judge you into joining thier bandwagon. The ultimate wish for every person getting married is to live happily ever after, but that must come with hard work and perseverance. Nothing good comes easy! If it looks too good to be true then it usually is!

I have said my piece. I am out.
Family › Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by 5minsmadness: 5:12pm On Oct 04, 2016
Benita27:
School me.
2 examples,
My cousin and my friend.

My cousin: Nice family, generous family, it was only when the boy declared his love for her we found out his mom was a fierce racist! They could be boyfriend and girlfriend as long as he didnt bring the black girl home to the family. I guess in a way it doesnt count cos the y finally didnt get married cos of her. Later heard the boy brought home and irish chic and the mom brought the house down in a rage. The guy is still single.

My friend. Married the boy. Caucasian mother in law moved in for two weeks. She saw hell. The woman was unbearable and unappeasable, kept on making condescendin remarks about how no girl was good enough for her Ronald... Only ate when thr guy was around... Made a statement once that suggested she was trying to poison her by putting something in her coffee...complained about the kitchen, complained about everything... Then asked to stay another two weeks to take good care of her son. My friend was a nervous wreck before the woman left. And this was in the UK o, not naija.
Family › Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by 5minsmadness: 4:57pm On Oct 04, 2016
Benita27:
Neither of the above mentioned.
Their foreign counterparts aren't as mean as our Nigerian mother-inlaws are.
You're referring me to a movie of a mean mother in-law like i haven't seen one.
They're more liberal and understand what space means in a marriage.
Hahhahahaha!
Hhaahahaaahahahaa!



You have NO IDEA cry
TV/Movies › Re: What Movie Are You Watching Now? by 5minsmadness: 8:26am On Sep 30, 2016
oyetpel:
lol. And have been looking forward for the movie, i have downloadedvit though, and will watch it later. Bro, i thought the movie was suppose to fun, just like you said. Its Melissa McCarthy bro, hahahaha.
Dont let me discourageyou, it gets better at the end, but there was a certain unseriousness about the whole thing that didnt rub well with me. Like those FBI agents or whatever working for the mayor... what was that abouthuh Anyways the ending was cool.
TV/Movies › Re: What Movie Are You Watching Now? by 5minsmadness: 11:16pm On Sep 29, 2016
Watching Ghostbusters, and so far....Hate it. Hate it hate it hate it HATE IT!!!! why did they have to substitute the guys for ladies? The girls arent doing justice to the movie, making fun of the whole thing. Its just silly so far jor. Nonsense gender equalitybulsh1t!
Family › Re: Whatsapp Exposes Zimbabwean Man's Affair With Wife’s Much Younger Sister (Pics) by 5minsmadness: 12:48pm On Sep 29, 2016
Na wa.
Looks at the wife.
Looks at the frreeeesh younger sister
.


Coughz.
Family › Re: Your Reaction On Seeing Porn Video In Your Wife's Phone by 5minsmadness: 12:37pm On Sep 29, 2016
Dyt:
Ezzz it not good?
Ezzz good oh if it's true cheesy
Family › Re: Your Reaction On Seeing Porn Video In Your Wife's Phone by 5minsmadness: 11:09am On Sep 29, 2016
Dyt:
She has some fantasies to be fulfilled

Small thing
I saw porn in his phone and I asked what it was for
He said he just downloaded
OK na
We watched together, I hissed and said boring
What's in the video that we haven't done more of it?
I am a porn star with my man ooo
cheesy
Family › Re: If You Could Be Someonelse, Who Would It Be? by 5minsmadness: 7:29am On Sep 29, 2016
freecocoa:
Einstein with Bill Gates money but as a woman.
One person! They said one person! Kai, you go dey greedy oh!
Family › Re: If You Could Be Someonelse, Who Would It Be? by 5minsmadness: 7:26am On Sep 29, 2016
Ranchhoddas:
Clark Kent!
Why?
Clark kent is a wimp.
Family › Re: If You Could Be Someonelse, Who Would It Be? by 5minsmadness: 7:25am On Sep 29, 2016
Definitely superman.
Family › Re: Advise Needed From Mature Minds by 5minsmadness: 7:16am On Sep 29, 2016
louken:
The truth is that the woman is not ever going to change. A lot of ladies see men as meal ticket and it's unfortunate your girlfriend's mother has not outgrown hers. Since you said your girlfriend has shown tendencies of being a good wife, I won't advise you to leave her. Assuming you marry her and her mother continues and intensifies her demands, what will you do? Whatever it is you are going to do, start doing it now. Let everybody start getting used to the reality. With the turn-out of things, it will be easier to decide whether to continue with the relationship or not
What are the tendencies of a good wife that the girl has shown?


Long distance relationship.
Beggarly attitude from the mother.
No idea of how fiancee truly behaves because its a long distance relationship.

@san316
I suspect people r reluctant to speak thier mind since u are already planning wedding.
Anyway i'll tell u something. Marriage is for life. Once u don enter u don enter. Even if you want to divorce later (God forbid) you would still have a lot of emotional and mental trauma to deal with.

An adage says if u want to look at what your wife will become, study her mother.

If you know begging disgusts you and you cannot live with it... Hmmm... My brother, think very well before you proceed. This woman u want to marry and her mother will be the mother and grandmother to your kids o. I dont want u to be a victim of those people that say "You knew all these things about her before, yet you still went ahead to marry her, so carry your cross".


My candid opinion.
Family › Re: Solved by 5minsmadness: 1:15pm On Sep 27, 2016
adviseseeker:
Sex should be consensual truly but there comes a time you have to make a sacrifice. It doesn't have to be when you are in the mood at all time. And to be fair even GOD EXPECTS something from us for all he has done for us. And our parents when feeding us, they expect us to feed them when they can no longer do it.

If I don't expect sex from my wife, a wife that I have not abandoned, that I have not turned to my punching bag then from who should I expect it? It is not a reward but it is a reward as well. People underestimate the importance of sex in a marriage. It is not the be it all but it is important too. Or why do some of you women complain of the inability of men to satisfy you?
1,000,000likes

Some women just type anyhow. Generally men want sex more often than women. So in marriage the man provides everything then still has to wait in agony until his wife feels loving enough to have sex with him? I hear una.
Health › Re: Nigerian Doctor Suspended In Canada Over Sexual Comment (Photo) by 5minsmadness(op): 12:53pm On Sep 27, 2016
Hey!
These mods modified my op and changed the title of the thread and even added pics! Is that legal? undecided
Health › Re: Nigerian Doctor Suspended In Canada Over Sexual Comment (Photo) by 5minsmadness(op): 8:51am On Sep 27, 2016
thorpido:
Very irresponsible.That are 'jokes' you don't make in a hospital.

Being a Nigerian just further damages Nigeria's reputation.Nigerian doctors are hard working though.
Proud that Hillary Clinton's personal physician is a Nigerian.
I heard he's a very playful doctor and didnt mean any harm. Anyway, he carried the playfulness abroad where they dont play, see gobe sad
Health › Nigerian Doctor Suspended In Canada Over Sexual Comment (Photo) by 5minsmadness(op): 8:40am On Sep 27, 2016
Labrador doctor who asked woman if she likes 'big ones or small ones' suspended

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4286436_20160927122622_jpegb65612e7c736c35504290bf7f973a315Dr. Adekunle Williams Owolabi is shown in court in St. John's on Monday Sept. 26, 2016. A disciplinary hearing was held Monday for a Labrador medical doctor accused of inappropriate kissing and making sexual comments. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sue Bailey
Published on Sep 26 2016


ST. JOHN'S, N.L. — A Labrador West physician who asked a woman during a Pap test if she "liked big ones or small ones" has lost his medical licence for six months and must be chaperoned when seeing female patients for two years once he goes back to work.

A three-person tribunal established by the provincial College of Physicians and Surgeons found Dr. Adekunle Owolabi guilty Monday of four counts of professional misconduct after a six-day hearing earlier this year.

Four female patients had accused the Nigeria-trained doctor of making sexual comments, and of inappropriate hugging and kissing.

To resume his general practice, Adekunle must take a course on appropriate doctor-patient boundaries. He was also ordered to pay $75,000 in costs related to the investigation and disciplinary process.


In each of the four separate complaints, Owolabi was found to have shown a lack of respect for the dignity and privacy of his patients, constituting professional misconduct.

He has 30 days to appeal the penalties to the trial division of the Supreme Court of Newfoundland and Labrador.

"He's very disappointed," his lawyer Paul Stokes said after Owolabi left without comment Monday. "But he understands the reasoning of the panel."
Stokes said his client has not yet decided on whether to appeal but looks forward "to following up with their penalties and getting back to work as soon as he possibly can."

Owolabi had continued to practise in Labrador West, voluntarily using a chaperone for female patients, as the disciplinary process played out.

Dr. Elizabeth Mate led the tribunal. Reading from its decision, she said comments Owolabi made to one complainant during a 2014 Pap test, asking if she "liked big ones or small ones," were "cavalier" and "unprofessional."

Mate found that Owolabi's steadfast denials of wrongdoing were "self-serving." Moreover, she described as "baseless" his counter-accusations against another patient whom he called "mischievous" and "a pathological liar."
Lawyer Ruth Trask, representing the college, had argued Monday for an eight-month suspension with a formal reprimand from the tribunal.

"This is taken very seriously," she said of the accusations, suggesting Owolabi had "a pattern of behaviour."

Stokes responded in Owolabi's defence that eight months would be "excessive." He proposed a suspension of three to six months, and stressed that his client's technical skills as a doctor were not in question.

Stokes asked the tribunal to put inappropriate comments, hugging and kissing in the context of far more serious possible sexual offences.
"This is a good physician," he told the panel at Monday's sanctioning hearing.

Owolabi turned his face away from media cameras as he arrived, and showed little emotion as the findings were read. At one point, he sat with his forehead in his hand before Stokes spoke a few words to him.
Owolabi's suspension won't be good news for patients who rely on him. A shortage of physicians in Labrador West has already been blamed for many residents waiting for emergency room care at the Labrador West Health Centre.
Source: http://m.metronews.ca/#/article/news/canada/2016/09/26/medical-doctor-accused-of-inappropriate-kissing-to-face-disciplinary-hearing.html

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