₦airaland Forum

meyri: Cooking and cleaning are not wifely qualities they are simply expected duties of wife. Loyal hardworking, smart , caring, dependable,loving, funny etc.. are qualities those are the qualities that a boyfriend look for in a future wife (to each his own). As a girlfriend it not my duty to cook or clean for my boyfriend. If thats what he expects then I expect him to take the relationship to another level....marriage.

Just answer these questions, please. How do you evaluate your boyfriend? How do you know if he is caring or romantic? How do know if he is really thinking seriously about taking your relationship to the next level? What are your expectations of a boyfriend in a relationship? In other words what are those things you expect your boyfriend to do either for you or for the good of the relationship?

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]So of what use is the cooking and cleaning and vacuuming and dusting and washing and scrubbing and. . And whatever else qualities in the grand scheme of things?

Shouldn't the ctiteria then be. . . A Partner who will be faithful to you, one who will be ONE with you? But hey don't lemme confuse ya..I mean what do I know, I am just a female and we aren't supposed to worry our pretty l'il heads on deep issues like this.[/quote]I wouldn't want to marry a "FAITHFUL VIRGIN MARY" whom I may have to send back to her mother to go and learn how to run a home. I need a well rounded African woman who I can live with her faults. I am not looking for a perfect woman, cos am not Perfect, but one I can ACCEPT HER FAULTS.

ronkebp: Nice question!!!!!!

@Ronke, & Sisi_kill
She was dating another guy on the side. Cheating is one thing I don't condone. And yes, I know that am not perfect.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]^^^So how long have you guys been married now?[/quote]My dear, she had great qualities when it comes to keeping/running a home. We had a great relationship(sex excluded), that we didn't get married does not mean that I won't acknowledge her good qualities.

@Efeman, The idea of this topic came from bellanaija.com it has nothing to do with me or my friend.

What I normally find funny about women is that, they have an excellent idea of what an ideal husband should be. But, they think that the man of their dream will fall into their laps without any effort on their part.
A lady must not necessarily clean my apartment before I know that she is hardworking, an unexpected visit at her place will tell me all I need to know.
A lady who loves to cook and knows how to cook, does not need any prodding from me before she will cook me a dish. I once had a girlfriend who is an excellent cook, but talk like the ladies on NL. she categorically told me that she will never do any house chores for me or even cook for me. But as time goes on, she did not only clean up my whole apartment she equally whipped up a dish that was very delicious.

@Ronke,
This topic is not about me, so don't personalise it. As a matter of fact, I can boldly hit my chest and say that my apartment is far more neat than that of so many ladies out there. As you said before you did not have to clean any guys house before you got married. And to that I say, GOOD FOR YOU.
But on a serious note, why will people refer to Lady A as being a "Wife Material" and tell you to keep away from Lady B, cos she does not possess "Wifely qualities". Or are you trying to tell me that you have not heard of the phrase, "She is a wife Material".
The topic is simply asking, how do you measure these access those qualities that are refered to as "Wife material".
Afterall, we guys also have to show certain qualities that will make our girlfriends or our prospective brother/sister in-laws rate us well as someone who will make a good HUSBAND.

Abeg let us be real for once. Guys will gather around and talk about the wifely qualities of their girlfriends. Parents(especially mothers) will bug you to death on the need to bring home a girl who can keep/run a home. Elder siblings especially sisters will keenly watch the girl you are currently rolling with, to know if she will make a good wifey for their brothers. And they will keep advicing you on the need to be careful cos girls can pretend a lot. Then some babes on NL, will come and tell me that they don't do any cleaning in their bobo's house cos he didn't put a ring the finger...Please.
So who are those ladies that come on here to cry that after "all they have done for their bobo" he still goes ahead and marry another girl, whom they knew did not do that much for him. So if ladies don't do shyte for their boyfriends, how then does these guys still come out and list the wifely xters of their babes....
Abeg NL babes be real for once(especially those still living in Naija). GIRLS GO TO GUYS HOUSE AND CLEAN UP AFTER these "lazy pigs", my questions is HOW MUCH YARD OF WIFELY QUALITIES DOES A GAL NEED?

dayokanu: @Ronke,

If you have a flat tire would you call this same boyfriend for assistance with fixing it? if you have some major lifting or moving, Do you call him? etc

A girl who got into an accident and the first person she called was her boyfriend, is that right also since they are not married and she isnt bearing his name

Dayokanu, thank you for this. Maybe at that moment of your need(not necessarily monetary) and you call your boyfriend for those little handy jobs that natuarally suits a guy & he doesn't respond, won't you feel that the guy does not care about your feelings.
A lady friend once asked me to take her to her younger sis' Matriculation taking place outside the state where I reside and I declined cos I wasn't feeling too strong at that time. She felt disappointed and it took quite a while before she got around to calling me again.

ronkebp: That was what i never did....clean a 'boy-friends house"? tufia!!!! if i am coming over..you better clean that house, or else we would be having our conversation outside and that would be the end.

Meanwhile....just because a lady cleans does not mean she is a wife material, it is true some ladies do that to try and hook the man, while some do it out of the "love" they think they have for him (stupidity).

You have to put a ring on it first(big diamond for that matter) and walk down the aisle, i will not be slaving for no niggar.

This is one thing I dislike about ladies. You will not clean any guys place (or do his cookings) because you people are not yet married. But, you will like the guy to be understanding and help you out in your little needs... even though those roles should be the exclusive preserve of the Hubby.

Actually the fault is mine, for not presenting the post exactly as the original story. I read a topic in the relationship section of bellanaija.com with the same Heading as the post.

Having said that, where should ladies draw the line when it comes to helping out in their guy's house... without giving the impression that they are invading the guy's space or try to trick the guy into marrying them. In other words how mcuh effort should a Lady expend in doing those "wifely chores in her guy's house" without being seen as a Desperado.

chaircover: Why would any woman in her right mind be "strategizing", "positioning" or "trick" a dirty filthy pig to the alter in the first instance?

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Madam, chaircover. Some guys are lazy when it comes to doing simple household chores. And please don't tell me You have not heard that some men will rather prefer not to have anything to with house chores.
The guy might be great in other areas, but his place may not always be spic and span.

Take a scenerio where you go to a guy's house (it may be a brother, a relation, or a friend). The guys house is in a mess... clothes strewn everywhere, empty soda cans in the hallway and the plates in the sink so dirty, the remnants had caked. But, this guy has a girlfriend who comes to visit from time to time.

Also bear in mind that guys sometimes act as confused beings.

As a lady you may be all "domestic" cleaning his flat, washing his plates, cleaning the bathrooms and toilet; cos you can't stand dirty places and the next thing is that, you are being tagged as "playing wifey". That is you are positioning yourself or strategising to get the guy to marry you.

The question is; How do you know that a Lady is not just being caring, that it is actualy lin her xter. That she is not trying to trick a guy into seeing her wifely xters, thus pushing the guy to the alter.

Again, How many YARDS OF WIFE MATERIAL is a Lady supposed to possess that will fit just right?

hammedkola: Sexxy or wetin?... Na because he is a celeb and has money {am not certain how rich he is} but am very sure if he is just an ordinary pers[b]on, you see ladies call him first class mad m[/b]an

Even when the guy was just an ordinary student in UNILAG, ladies still love his Style. And for those saying Gay, this guy literally ran away from a suspected gay lecturer's office way back in school.

The story of my life. Though mine is a bit different,(SS added to it, minus responsibiltiy).

@topic, why is it such a hard thing for ladies to make up their mind about what they want(i.e. a million dollar question).
Op, please tell me who will live with regret if you make a bad choice? Most ladies I ve come across always have one thing in common.... that is what will pple say.
S/he who wears the show knows where it pains most... nuff said.

pro01: This is obviously a joke, come on. More so as the source of the so-called story is an adversarial newspaper (Bola Tinubu-owned Nation Newspapers). I'd believe it if I see the same report (with the same statements ascribed to the First Lady) in other newspapers such as The Sun, Thisday, Punch et al.

It was aired on AIT this evening and I heard her make that speech about the First Lady's office being included in the constitution.

ugees: Please tell me how this is a crime. is it that there are people who cant afford that kind of luxury? or what exactly?. if you were in a position with related perks wont you enjoy your perks? dont be foolish. this is the same woman who publicly denied and exposed policy makers who asked her for bribe. and you are here castigating her person. God will do it for you. You will be elevated to a good position one day and you will realise how life is.

Please stop reasoning like this. Even if she can afford, do think she will SPEND 800K ON JUST FOOD. We should all be able to call a Spade by it's real name.

Afam, good to get ur moniker back. But on a Serious note, methinks MODs should act as impartial arbitrators. Even in a wrestling match if the referee decides to push/punch a wrestler he will only have himself to blame if the wrestler takes him on.
If as an MOD, you decides to join the fray, why cry foul when U insulted.
It is Titt for Tat

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U could have combined both your passion and the government job. If you really want to enjoy the best of both world (being employed and an entrepreneur) I will advice you go for government job in any ministry or parastatal.
I work for the govt. but I earn and live way above my salary grade.
After reading Kiyosaki's books, I understood the meaning of earning a living from different quadrant. You can be a successful employee as well as a successful business owner. All that is required is to have an open mind to learn new things.

Happy Birthday gurl.
For those doubting, she is actually 37, and was born Rita Nwaturuocha. But she adopted Dominic which is her father's name as her last name. I think she had her early education in Aba And she is from Mbaise.

Op, I will advice you go for the Avalon. As a user of Avalon 2003, I don't think there is much cost in the maintenance.
Also, I know of a friend who have used the Camry Big Daddy, but has to switch to Avalon after a while and he is also enjoying the ride.

Why not just pick out the useful points and move on. Even if Dangote, Otedola, Adenuga, Okoya, etc were to tell their success stoiries, NL will still find a way to put them down.
Haba, why do we always love to criticize others or talk bad about them, when we are not better.

AIT, is streaming it. Park and Shop at wuse 2. Casualties unknown at the moment

salaksmana: If you must look for job collect an exception letter, find an excuse maybe your health is not that sound or whatever.

How many people do you think will be exemption letters, if almost all those posted there complain.
@topic, I found one interesting thing when I served. That is to only visit my place of primary assinment once it is end or beginnig of the month. Collect my allowee, settle those that matter in the schemeof things and return to.base. I no go fit knowingly die for Nigeria.

ifihearam: By all standard the oba breached all protocols
The president does not wait for anybody,its always the other way round
But becos my presido is a humble man he might let go of that rubbish
But the oba should thank his stars its not obj or abacha
He would hv regretted ever being a king

Dude abeg let this matter rest. You are already sounding like a broken record. GEJ is the president of all and not just PDP. If he can take sides, the Oba can equally take sides. What is sauce for the goose....

Whether he is humble or not, GEJ should look inwards why almost alll the respected elites are shuning him.

Op, you will do us all a world of good if You can give the price range. There are some people who will need this but they stay very far from Abuja.

cheddarking: I believe President Jonathan is silly to explore dialogue with Boko Haram...unless of course he's trying to lull them into a state of false security before striking and crushing them.

I think that even now the Government should be massively overhauling(weeding out the shit) and recruiting the police force raising the minimum salary to at least 150k as incentive.
This will kill to birds with one stone: provide jobs, and enlarging the security force.

I also think jonathan needs to make scapegoats out of certain high placed political figures. Imagine what the public execution of people like IBB,or Buhari would mean for his ratings? There would be public outcry, but the masses will love him. And if the masses are on HIS side, his opponents will fear him.

In short, I think for now, Nigeria needs a dictator not a president. Someone strong willed and principled, but also dangerous and brutal.

This is so on point.
I said something similar after the post election violence. Even though I supported Buhari then, I said make some top Northern leaders a scape goat. After the initial public outcry, others will just respect themselves and bid their time.
Now GEJ is saying BH, has taking priority in his governance.

[quote author=queensmith]Now this is just very confusing;
This is what google gives you;
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1365-3156.1997.d01-322.x/pdf Hbss carriers low levels of pf in kenya
http://biomed.emory.edu/PROGRAM_SITES/PBEE/pdf/Udhayakumar6.pdf Hbss with significantly fewer levels of malarial parasitameia
http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v37/n11/abs/ng1660.html This (possibly sheds a little light on things, as the resistance seems to be specific to a certain type of malaria)
This Nigerian paper on the other hand. . . .this is actually very surprising. So now there is a higher risk of malaria with associated with SS.http://www.medwelljournals.com/fulltext/?doi=ijtmed.2011.73.76

I'm missing something here. . . . .I'm going to waste my time finding out what! (you can learn from this place i'm grateful!)
This makes sense,


"queensmith, don't forget that even the SS patient has some normal RBC, which can also help the malaria parasite to thrive. Thus if malaria attacks the little RBC that are normal it becomes very dangerous for SCD Patient."

[quote author=Shinatu].

Even within the general SS category, there is much variance, that is why you may know an SS that looks and is indeed healthy. I have lost two friends to SCD, (I am SC) and these were not poor people, one was in his late twenties then and was the son of the Chairman of a top paint manufacturing company in Nigeria, the other just recently, was a Petroleum Engineer, these were not poor people who could not take care of themselves.

Why am I taking out time to say this? when SC carriers want to marry themselves, the above quoted statement is the excuse they give, they tell you how they know people who are SS and are healthy, you never can tell what variance of the SCD your kids may come up with so please stay away from producing children with SCD, it could be a life of stress and sorrow!


it is not about coming from rich home, though it helps. it is more about the individual understanding his or her peculiar nature. The bible says MAN KNOW THYSELF.
For instance, even before I fall ill I will first get the signs. Then if I neglect those signs I only have myself to blame. Some people with SCD at some point feel at ease with themselves, thereby neglecting their health and medication.

lighternote: smh,someone is asking for a link to malaria occurrence in HbSS... jus google it. It's a top killer!
Back to d topic,d statistics is as alarming as it is disheartening.our large population does not explain it.The fact remains that Nigeria has one of the poorest public education system among developing nations; inadequate support from government,poor health facilities to alleviate d already existing problems,little or non-existence of resourced researches,no government policies to PREVENT diseases.In fact,PREVENTIVE approaches in community medicine is almost non-existent. If not,tell me y,Hb AS still marry HbAS or HbSS in d name of love? by a simple act of careful procreation pattern, d burden of large no of SC dx in Nigeria will b reduced!
Did u kno that Nigeria still has one of d highest incidence of a preventable cancer---cervical cancer due to poor public health education,poor policies n implementation?
Did u know that lassa fever was discovered in Nigeria and is still in Nigeria for over 4decades cos of poor public health? A disease which can simply b controlled by controlling its vector,rats.
In summary,d black populatio-large population relationship does not justify the large incidence of SC dx in Nigeria.poor public
health education,lack of adequate health policies n implementation do.
We can stop further procreation of HbSS persons!
(Nb:there is no such thing as life expectancy of HbSS,all depends on exposure or not to crisis trigger factors like malaria n other infectious dxs,availability of adequate healthcare,right nutrition n other supportive treatment.)

I believe that lack of public enlightenment is one of the reasons why an HBAS will marry an HBAS OR HBSS, in the name of love or Faith. Sure genetic make up of the unborn baby is subject to probability. But like I will say, why put God to the Test.
If HBSS is to be minimised or eradicated in the future generation, public enlightenment of Genetic crossing is very necessary. It is not enough to say that Nigeria has the highest number of SS people, without stating how people should go about choosing their spouses in the light of preventing HBSS children from coming to this world to face certain stigma and suffering.

claremont: I'm yet to see any objective proof to support the argument that the "average life expectancy of a sickler is in his/her 20's", people who spread such falsehood should either provide the proof or keep quiet. A sickler has no average life expectancy, his/her life expectancy is dependent on the way the disease is being managed.

Back to topic, it is not news that Nigeria may have the highest number of sickle cell patients in the world. In the same vein, it is not news that Nigeria may also have the highest number of malaria patients in the world. These are diseases which affect mainly Africans, and Nigeria is the most populated African country; so in essence, the correlation is glaring enough for a blind man to see.

In Nigeria, we take myths as facts. When I was growing up I heard all sorts of rubbish. One was that I will never make my 21st birthday, or if I make it I will get to 25.
But to God be the glory, I'm in my early 30s inching to mid 30s. Moreover my mum's friend is also a sickler and she is well into her 60s, and I also have a lecturer friend in the Uni with 3 kids who is over 50.

Stronger99: Ignorance is a biatch. I have SCD and i suffer frm malaria often. In fact, the only issues i have is malaria. All d other so called complications of having the ailment doesn't bother me. Whenever i leave the shores of Nigeria, i am as healthy as they come because of the absece of malaria.
Most things being peddled around are myths. I'm stronger than most AA chaps i know.

My brother thank you for this. Doctors and researchers focus on AS people who are just carriers and come up with all sorts of theories.

Queensmith, please if You are based in Nigeria make out time to visit the sickle cell centre opposite LUTH and make enquiries.

queensmith: really? Can you give me a link?

You can as well use good old google. Malaria and typhoid are the common sicknesses that can send a sickler to his grave if not well treated.
The high fever as a result of malaria leads to break down of the red blood cell, and remember that a sickler already have some of his RBC mutated due to the sickling of his RBC. Moreover most drugs used to treat malaria are strong anti biotics which also leads to more breaking down of the RBC.

My dear, I ve lived with SCD for over 30 years and I know what i'm talking about. You can equally visit the centre opposite LUTH and make your enquiries.