₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
1. The reason is simple, there are still no larger works to show that flogging in fact works or does not work in Nigeria, and I would rather assume that it works when I know from my experience that it does not necessarily work. I mean my classmates in high school. We all belong to a Whatsapp group, well, at least those of us who are still alive and able to connect to date.

2. Your opinion was meant to counter mine, was it not? You cannot counter my opinion born on my experience with your opinion. This ain't rocket science.

Now if you are instead referring to your lame attempts at suggesting, without evidence that Nigerian kids are better behaved than American kids, then I suggest you go back to your logic text to understand how that absolutely can't work without researched evidence to show this for a fact.

You love arguing baselessly so it is nothing new to most of us on this forum, on one hand you provide your own opinion based on your experience and you expect it to be accepted, on the other hand you say I cannot counter it base on my own experiences even though I've lived in both environments, isn't that hypocritic?

I'm not going to bore you too much with my methods, just pick any of the top 20 high schools in the USA and check out their top 10 students, you would see minorities dominating the list especially Asian and Africans.

Another angle, what percentage of kids in the USA got physically violent with their parents? 5-22% , if you believe it is the same or worse in Nigeria then you need to start acting comedy

You want research, please read these:

Kennair, N., & Mellor, D. (2007). Parent abuse: A review. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 38, 203–219. doi:10.1007/s10578-007-0061-x.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/11/29/777295848/when-teens-abuse-parents-shame-and-secrecy-make-it-hard-to-seek-help

A 2008 study by the U.S. Justice Department found that while most domestic assault offenders are adults, about 1 in 12 who come to the attention of law enforcement are minors. In half of those cases, the victim was a parent, most often the mother.

Finally, it is really not my job to educate you so how about I let you believe what you will and you let me do the same.....DEAL?

jedisco:
When you say disobedient and wayward, it's good to see the larger picture.
The best way of grading the kind of discipline a child gets is to grade the adult and society it produces.
Police folk asking for bribe at every stop, immigration folk asking for bribe at airports, villages being raided and hundreds killed while the nation remains silent. All these rampant atrocities were done by adults who were fully disciplined.

Are you saying all those people represents the majority of Nigerians? All the folks you mentioned, are they up to 2 million? It's just like saying the police killing black folks, the white supremacists, the mass murderers, the hoodrats, the drug dealing elegbon in the USA all represents the parenting style of Americans......We all know that's only part of the picture and not the entire picture!

Kobojunkie:
1. There is no evidence for any of the claims you keep making in your desperate attempts to compare Nigerian kids to American kids, so die that nonsense altogether.

As for the former, well, my folks stopped hitting me at 14, as I previously explained, however, I have friends whose parents did not stop until even their 20s. Many of them rebelled eventually going down the wrong path. Most of them even to this day are still spinning wheels as far as who they are mentally.

2. Yet again, there is no evidence of this at all. It is simply a myth you have been fed that you lot hold to without really reasoning for yourselves.

You keep citing examples of your own little bubble (Abi what do you mean by friends, 2, 5, 10 even 50? Does that equate to majority?) yet when I cite my own opinion you shout NO EVIDENCE....You people are funny, even when it stares you in the face you love playing the denial card......It is well, let each person act according to his or her experiences, I can only share my own analysis having experienced Nigerian and American parenting styles and the consequent results......PEACE!

JohnBullMySon:
If it has to be in the news then it is not common. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that it's not common as you say.

Let's even assume it is common, it does not automatically mean disrespect. It depends on the context.

CbsNews na wetin? Social media? There are hundreds of articles/reporting on the net, simple Google search that's all it takes. In which of the infinite universes does calling your parents by their first names not equivalent to disrespect? Take away the term parents, will you call your big aunt or uncle by their first names? Why do we love entertaining rubbish?

Kobojunkie:
Compared to other parents, my parents were mild. Physical abuse leaves scars and each person handles them differently is all. Flogging a child does not necessarily mean that child would turn out right — that much I know a lot about — nor does it guarantee said a child would grow into a responsible human being. A lot of folks who were raised harsher than I was didn't out so well, as a matter of fact, I am glad I fought back when I did as I am at least not clouded at this point in my life as many of them remain.

So, if it produces results that aren't necessarily better than not flogging at all, what is the point of it?

Are you speaking from the point of view of majority or are you just cherry-picking the cases that it didn't turn out right? I always like to look at things from a more complete point of view. I know I might sound like a broken record but overall when all things are equal, Nigerian kids are still more disciplined than American kids.

Good or bad, the flogging kept most of us from experimenting our wild tendencies as kids or teenagers. It is a brain resetting mechanism that works wonderfully well when implemented properly with due moderation.

JohnBullMySon:
Exaggerated stories. People calling their parents by their first names may not even be up to 5 percent. Do you have any examples? Adults yes but not parents.

It is more common than you know especially in USA households with over 80 million children, the percentage might be 5% like you said but 5% of 50 million(80 million minus orphans, those living with grandparents, uncles etc) is what? 2.5 million, that is 2.5 million kids calling their parents, Betty & Joe! In the 70s it was virtually non existent but nowadays it is seen as signs of emancipation for being a cool parent.

[url]https://www.phillytrib.com/commentary/backintheday/back-in-the-day-calling-your-parents-by-their-first-names-is-a-no-no/article_9407332a-52e4-5add-b17d-a9ddd98b9e88.html#:~:text=Some%20children%20call%20their%20parents,want%20a%20less%20formal%20relationship.[/url]
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/parents-names/
https://www.metroparent.com/parenting/oh-mother/kids-call-parents-by-their-first-names/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/calling-parent-by-first-name_b_1453337

ZIMDRILL:
i agree with you on action and consequences the problem with most africans, we dont explain in details, therefore our kids dont understand their own action

eg a child sometimes is not allowed to explain his/her action becoz s/he is not allowed to explain him/her regardless his/her point of view is useless

untill us parent let out children explain i their own reasoning we will never understand how they think and u will able to guide them based on their individual thinking

unfortunately most african cultures doesnt allow children to explain themselves regardless whether they make sense or not

the most common phrase used by children o the western is " why" therlir asking for your reason/s

the ideak is

I agree with you to an extent, some things do not need explanation such as skipping school, drugs, juvenile sex and so on. The way the world is going, kids are getting bolder and bolder, parents must learn to balance the western way of parenting with our traditional African methods, otherwise these kids would have no future to look forward to.

Kobojunkie:
1. The abuse ended in my case at 14 after I angrily tried to throw my dad and myself down the stairs while he was attempting to punish me yet again. I was already emotionally battered by it all by then. I am certain there are many such cases of teenagers fighting their parents back that you know of.

2. That is a rubbish conclusion abeg!

You must be one heavyweight or perhaps your dad no get weight.......We all know that parents can over do things at times but to throw away the entire notion of physical discipline just because of that makes no damn sense!

Kobojunkie:
So long as one does not die from abuse —irrespective of the physical and psychological toll that inflicts on the child— it is to be overlooked? Kind of like the Nigerian police flogging citizens is Ok so long as their victims dont die, abi?

If your parent physically disciplining you is considered abuse then 90% of Nigerian kids are abused and guess what? Overall they are still much more well behaved than American or European kids.

Shokoloko:
The man is the foolish one here. If you poop, you clean it up.
If he knew he had caused that much damage to the child's body, why did he not begin treatment immediately?
At the point the son was standing facing the garden lots of light would have shone on his body and his father should have noted the injuries and started applying balm.

Okay then two wrongs makes it right? Again I repeat, knowing fully well the type of country they are located in, did she fully consider the consequences? The man was foolish I accept but now that he is in jail is the family happier?

Kobojunkie:
So, knowing full well the country that she was in, she shouldn't have taken her bruised-up 9-year-old to the hospital? WOW.... irredeemable!

Yes there was no need for hospital, many of us have treated bruises at home just fine, in fact unless you didn't school in 9ja, the floggings from teachers pass this one and we all didn't die!

Shokoloko:
Why will she treat bruises at home? Why didnt the man treat the bruises at home?
You are taxed heavily for healthcare. So why will you pay taxes for healthcare and still pay privately for healthcare?
Isn't it dumb to pay for one product twice? By the way, the woman did not report that man. The hospital did

Knowing fully well the country that she was in? Knowing fully well that they count it as a big deal and it could literally mean the end of her family as she knows it? Sometimes wisdom is better than being right!

Reference:
If you do all these and cannot teach, instruct, guide and then task, assess, wash and wear again you still have not achieved anything. You don't graduate from school by your teachers just talking to you everyday in a lovable manner. There has to be a plan, there has to be a syllabus, there has to be instructions and there has to be a test. The quality of this determines how your kids will turn out.

I have always considered violence as the preserve of the ignorant.
When you have to use violence it means you are either not communicating well or communicating wrong.
The child is not receiving or understanding what you want or how you want it.
I cannot see what violence does to enhance this process.

When a parent is enraged at his child it simply says I am angry with myself for not being able to do it.

A wise man once said, everybody has a plan until you get punched in the jaw! I'll keep referring to the American way of raising a child vs the African way, with all things equal, you cannot possibly say just talking or communicating gets the job done, evidence points to otherwise, from drug abuse to juvenile sex and gun violence.

Kids needs to understand Newton's third law of motion, ACTIONS & CONSEQUENCES! For most people it involves communicating that if you behave well there are rewards, if you misbehave there are consequences. Consequences can vary just as rewards, a child that knows that the worst you can do is take away their privilege such as phone, going outside etc., that child can determine that the risk is worth it but a child that knows that wa fe ku ni ale yi(Serious flogging) if he or she misbehaves, OMO that fear alone keeps them within boundaries until they are 18, after 18 he or she can do whatever!

These are not just words, these are time tested way of raising children and it is evident when we compare the stat of children abroad to children in Nigeria with all things equal, the average Nigerian kid will dust the average American or British kid in terms of education, discipline and overall morality! Until this changes, I'll prefer the wisdom of experience over cheap talk!

cococandy:
That’s absolutely not true

It is absolutely true, shall we compare statistics or do you prefer emotional rhetoric?

This is a case of marrying a bad wife and having bad kids! Clearly the issue wouldn't have escalated if those bruises were treated at home, ordinary bruise, mama don reach hospital, she even provided the incriminating weapon.....Ki la gbe ki le ju

Abroad no be beans, your spouse, your kids, neighbors, government, everything will frustrate you as a man, be careful the type of woman you chose to marry, she could be the difference between jail or thanksgiving!

cococandy:
If a parent needs to beat their children for them to respect them , then they never had control over them in the first place.

Our kids even when they are stubborn and disobedient (which is normal) still need to be able to have respect for us without the threat of violence. Your kids need to be able to look at , your presence, the way you carry yourself etc and feel a sense of respect and reverence for you. If violence is the only way to get that from them, there are baseline issues that need to be resolved

Funny.....Upon all the talking and loving, being their friend and having an open mind, guess what? Kids living in the USA and the UK are 50 times more disobedient and wayward than Nigerian kids, this is pure undiluted fact! When all things are equal in terms of shelter, food and attention, Nigerian kids are angelic compared to those American kids calling their mom and dad, Joe & Betty!

Let's forget 9ja and focus on black Americans, households where at least one parent is a disciplinarian are often better off than one without a disciplined parent. You'll hear a black kid tell his friends, "my mama don't play that, big mama will slap you upside your head if you misbehave!"

doctokwus:
Exact same thing I wanted to ask.
So someone can die after surgery in the country with one if not the most advanced healthcare industry in the world?
Weigh the comments and assume this actor had died in Nigeria after this same brain surgery.Experiences will start flooding in of how one hospital or doctor after the other killed someone they know.
Just by reading that this was his second brain surgery and assuming the first was done here,the comments would have been how the first surgical team messed up the whole thing and that if he had known he wouldn't have done the first here,that if he had done the first abroad,need for a second operation won't have even arisen.

Anybody fit kpai anywhere but at least in the USA, they'll do their possible best to save you rather than being at the mercy of electricity, insecurity, incompetence etc.

The real question is this, was the body notified of the attempt to go for such record or was it done without informing them? This is why they need to verify, I'm sure once it is verified she'll be given her record, Hilda is amazing!

Rayban25:
She dosent know that some men willingly just restrain themselves and it's not because their weak..if naija had the same laws as yanky...as a man they can throw you in jail for hitting a woman even if it was in self defense..leave them make them laugh

You're correct! I believe the man did the right thing, divorce is the best option, if he beats her she might end up doing something worse or ruining his reputation.

frozen70:
Your analysis are not just related

Have you asked yourself how come his wife was able to beat him and he was watching her

Then he should send her out of the home if he knows that he is a responsible man and he is in charge of his homen

You're not making sense, do you know their physical attributes, some men married heavyweights, some men are naturally not physically capable of beating a woman. No be on this forum, we dey always hear never ever beat a woman, be a man leave the house rather than hit her.....yen yen yen

frozen70:
Am not justifying what she did because I hate reading anything about beating spouse

But for the fact that his wife was able to beat him to that point
He must have been an irresponsible man and has lost his respect long ago

Probably he subjected his wife to all sort for family responsibilities which includes
Feeding
House rent
Medical

No woman will be playing this kind of role and you expect love and happiness while the husband contributes nothing, not even security for the family

You're not justifying just making up excuses....Funny! Even if he was the most irresponsible, he's not a child, you don't physically lay your hand on another adult. That's like saying wife wey no cook good soup deserves a couple of slaps......STOP IT!

okuta007:
when u type finish - make sure u show up at your $11 per hour home health work where u clean poop 💩 of old oyinbo women and men

yeye liars - day dreaming on nairaland 😄

Now I get where you're coming from, so na wetin you dey do be that wey you dey claim 6 figures

okuta007:
Simp, please go and die … (oshomole)

MyAmericandream:
Dishing out 12k/annum shouldn’t be a problem for a self-multimillionaire like you said you are. Perhaps, you talking about the self-multimillionaire in naira?

Which properties are you buying that you're paying 12k per annum in mortgage? Average mortgage here in Atlanta is 2k per month and even tho that's not a problem, in terms of investing I look more at the risks and controls not just profits. In Chicago it is more or less the same unless you're buying properties in the slum. Maybe you should watch shark tank, not all good ventures are worthwhile, some can land you in hot soup if you're not careful.

P.S I don't deal in Naira son, I've got a 200k per annum job after taxes, two ecommerce businesses bringing in 15k per month each and insurance policies worth1.45m in cash value, self made the real way.....The real American Dream my nigga!

okuta007:
shorrop there - coming here to form Boss, the man who dropped that video - i just showed you is worth over $3million - u get money reach am ? $250k na money ? if i tell u 6 figures - that’s up $999,999 so stop confusing yourself and stop simping - you don’t make $250k a year, if you do u will know the basic rules of money

I have given you the George Floyd story, this very video and I will give u another real life scenario - you are yet to give me one real scenario other than your anonymous life which could be stationed at okokomaiko at this moment

last scenario- Dangote the richest man in Africa, richest black man in the world who is worth nothing less than $20 Billion - do you think $2million is anything to him that will hurt him ? go ask his American girlfriend how Dangote will not even give her $40,000 worth of whatever she was asking him help for - so Dangote broke too abi? or he has had a hard life too ?

Real men don’t lead with their wallets and
if that’s who you are, then sorry no one can redeem you, keep simping and am done with this topic gat better things to do and oga that makes $250k dooooo keep spending $500 to impress women on a date - you will be broke someday and even the devil will deny he was not responsible for your misfortune

bye!

Like I told you bro, enlighten yourself and broaden your horizon, you simply don't type like someone that's spent 3 years in the USA not to talk of 30. Your combative stance is that of a pauper not of a well to do individual. Please stop embarrassing yourself G, enjoy your ignorance in bliss

MyAmericandream:
People see opportunities but what you see is loads of problems. If I happen to be your girlfriend/wife I would have being making plans to dump you by now. You are too pusillanimous for my penchant. I wish you all the best nigga!

Don't get it twisted my nigga, I'm a self made millionaire already, I just don't believe that all risks are worth taking, some are more beneficial than others. If you're in the USA let's link up and I'll show you how you can be a millionaire through cash value insurance......E ni to pass lo mo iwe

MyAmericandream:
If you live in Chicago, book an appointment with Femi Aguda. He will teach you the secrets of getting a property without paying a dime. Your tenants will be the one to pay your mortgage monthly for you and stop crying here on NL over 12k annually…It is very hard for alaroro to survive abroad.

Yea what happens when the tenants stop paying, you now have to foot the mortgage bills because the economy crashed, people are no longer renting at prices that makes sense. Oh then life throws in a wrench and you lost your job, now you have mortgages way above your income, you start borrowing from credit card, you can't pay back, your score drops, you go bankrupt, the houses are repossessed and you are back to penury. Femi Aguda will not tell his clients the downside/dangers of this method

Evolutionlove:
I like the System the Whites are Practicing.

Even the Property Tax is too cheap. They should raise it to $5000 Per Year.

You "Greedy Heartless Nigerian Thieves" would just want to own the World to yourself. Imagine in this Nigeria, There are individuals who has more than 50 Houses while a Human like him doesn't have ordinary a Mini-Flat to occupy.

Nigerian Government replicate this development. At least 1 Million Naira should be paid for every house yearly.

This will discourage the Greedy Insatiable Individuals from acquiring too much property.

So you mean if you worked hard to amass wealth you are not free to buy or build properties for investments because some are too lazy or unfortunate to afford a mini flat? Sounds like socialism mixed with a hint of communism........Karl Marx is that you

okuta007:
my brother - stop justifying SIMPING - $150 to pay for food for a woman with multiple kids arriving on a first date to feast on your pocket is nothing decent - the rich or financially well to do in America do not throw their money around anyhow except the person is a drug dealer - Let me concede that despite I make 6 figures - that I am broke according to you - what about my friends who make much more than me? they didnt threw their money away first dates and still do not throw their money away on feeding women on first dates because they are loaded with cash - you are just a SIMP - period, end of sentence
-

LISTEN TO THIS MAN BELOW - HE AINT BROKE - LISTEN TO HIM and in case you do not have data - listen to 1:55min-2:10min 3:30min - 6:30min and tell yourself you are a grade one mugu



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUW4VdCmOdI

My broda you're simply shrewd, I already told you to speak based on your pocket not based on the pockets of others, you can make six figures and still be broke in America, 5 years ago I was making 120k and still felt broke, now that I'm closer to 250k, my perspective changed. If I can spend $500 monthly on hanging out with friends what makes you think $150 monthly on a woman I have interest in is haram? Again upgrade your OT, it is people like you that deprive yourself of the simple pleasures in life just because you're trying to prove hard guy......I understand where you're coming from, you're an old G and used to doing things a certain way, there's nothing wrong with that, just respect that people have a different perspective than you and keep it moving......PEACE!