₦airaland Forum

Lucaslookers:
I feel so pained about what's going on in my home right now even though my marriage is still very young but my wife has cheated on me, gotten pregnant and aborted for another man.

We have fought and our families have gotten involved and there's a little peace but my mind is unsettled. I have never engaged in unfaithful activities since dating to marriage with this woman but she has been unfair to me. The only way my mind will be at rest is if I take my revenge and go and have an affair outside too, after that we will be even and can start afresh to practice fidelity.
I feel so pained and I don't deserve this.

I'll like to know your family's reaction to the issue.

iamL:
The swift do not always win the race neither the mighty the battle.

Sure. The emphasis is on the fact that, if the ban had continued, he may not have seen that opportunity.

LMAO Another opportunity to roast Nigerian ladies

Biglittlelois:
There are many households of jobless men contributing nothing to the home, their wives are sole providers and keep mum about it so as to cover the shame of their husbands, we don't see these women ranting on and on about it,

A man is left to do everything for a change, the whole world has to know because chores and taking care of his kids are involved, why can't he simply talk to her and come up with what works for them? Or divorce her since she contributes nothing cos that will be my advice if reverse is also the case? Humans complicates life and living due to lack of effective communication and basic understanding.

Are you implying that women don't come to Nairaland with the same or similar issue?

Trying to dismiss his case because women must be protected at all cost doesn't change the fact that women also suffer this issue and yes, we have seen them come to Nairaland to complain about irresponsible husbands.

Are you also implying that the OP should be punished for the sins other men commit in their homes? What is his business with households where men don't work but rather rely on their wives to do everything? If you want to fight for women, channel the energy on such households

Biglittlelois:
I dont see a problem here, your wife told you to get a maid, you refused, so she has left you to do the chores and kids, yet you're complaining why? Are they not your kids? Is cooking, cleaning, taking care of them yourself a criminal offence? If her prayer disturbs you, open your mouth and talk to her, or forbid her from coming into your room, these are simple stuffs that can be resolved, I don't know why you guys love to bring up unnecessary threads just to castigate wives/women, so many immature men these days.

So what's going to be her role to the family if OP has to foot the bills 100% and also get a maid?

Would you marry a praying pastor who leaves the home at 4am, returns at 10pm, and contributes nothing to the house? Just speaking in tongues and insha Allah?

Klass99:
Lol, I enjoyed reading this.

Abeg finish the gist about your first hand experience with your landlords.

@ Bigfrog, if I were you I will listen to this.

You did not marry your match. She won't try this with some men.

Just imagine that the Twitter ban hasn't been lifted. Saw his post on Twitter and within some hours, he got over 40,000 likes. Twitter made his story viral. Instagram or Facebook could never have done this.

The funny thing is another guy from the same school posted his story on LinkedIn. He graduated with a CGPA of 4.92 and cleared all his ICAN papers with 11 awards within 3 years. Na congratulations I don see so far

BigFrog:
He said he already told them that he has land and document for Collateral. Which they refuse as they only want a business premises. He said he doesn't want people to know that he want to collect the loan and the loan is for business purposes. Because of the talk and the news will spread that he is collecting loan. He said because I am calm and matures that why he is telling me. Those kind thing and I should help him I have nothing to fear or worry.

Red flag #1

He avoided other people because they probably know his story.

When Nigerians use that line, what they're trying to say is that you're the non-problematic mu.mu that will take their excuses and excesses when they fail.

He said he will be servicing the loan every week for 6 months and he was sure of paying as it's just half a million. He was so confident of paying it . Of which I know he cannot run away because of half a million.

I've never seen a chronic debtor without confidence though.

They're always confident of paying back but prefer to meet unproblematic people that will give them zero worries when they disappoint. Where is the confidence when they can't approach a soldier for loan?

But I don't just understand the implications of such loan. What if he failed to service the loan will th loan firm come for me? I was just thinking it will be only if he run away that when they will come for me because I don't understand this Microfinance loan.

I need advice as I need to see in less that 24 hours time

The implication is that when he fails to pay up, LAPO will come to your shop for two things: Produce the debtor or the loan.

At the end of the day, your landlord will plead with you to assist him in servicing the loan with your subsequent rent. This wouldn't be a problem until someone comes to introduce himself as the new landlord [I had a first-hand experience].

dave06:
I'll ask 'why'.

There has to be a reason why my partner would deny me sex.

You'll keep asking her "why" for two months? And for those months, you'll be meeting her needs, prioritizing her requests? And "why" is all you'll keep asking for 61 days?

Tell yourself the truth.

OneTwoOne:
It trended on Twitter days back.

All these underage commiting fornication under the guise of relationship is an absurdity.

It wasn't like this 10yrs back where someone of this age would be brag of relationship.

It keep getting WORSE day by day

Yes o. That's what it takes to be "independent"

By 2050, 6 year old boys will be uploading photos of their girlfriends confidently. By 2060, scientists will come up with new discoveries that newborns and kids of age 2 can have safe sex

Ciscodollards:
No we are not doing too much we are doing the right thing for her we are showing her love and care so she will not feel left out. Being with her mother doesn't mean she have everything or her mother is doing well , she is not working and she has three children. We don't want our blood to suffer for her parents mistakes and my sister is buoyant to support her. If he get another side chick pregnant then he will be on his own.

It's clear you're a good person but your sister-in-law might misconstrue the intentions of your family. She probably feels that you guys didn't do enough to caution your brother. With all this, one might assume that y'all condoned his behaviour

3-4 years doesn't seem like a long time. That's just a year before Covid19. You all should give her time to process everything.

About popping more babies, you can't blame her. She didn't get herself pregnant. Trying to sound like she's all at fault is why I assumed you guys are either making excuses for your brother or condoling certain behaviour.

Ideally, your elder sister cannot assume the role of the girl's father. The best she can do is talk to your brother to take up his responsibility.

cococandy:
Why should the sexual urge of women be under control?

Are you xtupid?

LMAO

You and wahala

Ciscodollards:
No we are not friend ooo I have never spoke with her on phone before but my sister does speak with her only when it's necessary like if she want to speak to the child or when she send them money or when she want the child to come over to her place. It is her half brother who brings her anytime she visit my sister.

Don't you all think that you're doing too much? "Your blood" "our blood", etc. yet the owner of the blood doesn't care. From all indications, the girl isn't suffering. She's in the care of her mom and her mom's family.

If your brother goes on to get more side chicks' pregnant, what are you going to do?

Kobojunkie:
As far as the story told by the OP, it seems the child is with the mother and that, as far as I am concerned is the best place for her to be. There is no indication that the child is in danger or that it is in dire need of acceptance from this family.

OP and her brother went to the side chick's house?

Ciscodollards:
Nobody want her to accommodate the child that but my point is why doesn't she want us to have a relationship with our niece . We were in good terms no problem at all but after I posted her pics she blocked me , it is not fair na

Blocking you was an extreme measure. An alternative to the fake love you would have gotten from other women in her shoes. Clearly, she's not so good at handling her emotions but what we call emotional intelligence sometimes is plainly witchcraft. An emotionally intelligent person would rather drop a smiley emoji on that picture and look for a better time to deal with you.

Your sister-in-law may have forgiven her husband but not the side chick and the family that raised, nurtured, and allowed him to be irresponsible.

You have no right to condemn her. Forgiveness is not forgetfulness. Moreover, she needs everything to forget the incidence, and that includes taking the child faraway from her until she's ready and willing to accommodate her.

ignis:
Motivational speakers will say "This is the best time to buy crypto".

LMAO You know them very well.

Happy birthday to them

You have done your part. It's time to leave the rest to fate. Begging her again will ruin you finally.

beautyhd:
Lunch

Oha soup.

Loveymom, you can have this

Chai. My love for this soup ehn.

mrkings84:
This is huge. So much money there. A bag of cucumber in PH goes for about 8k which is much money you have there

The cost of a bag does not matter. The most important thing is the returns on investment. 8k x 10 bags is just 80k. It means with a N1m investment on cucumber, OP needs to sell at least 150 bags to make a gross margin of 200k. By the time you remove other expenses and miscellaneous, net profit might drop to 100k.

Agriculture is one of the fastest means to lose money these days. People should be well informed before venturing into business.

I really hope that behind the bags of cucumber is some huge profits.

Zico777:
Oh! It's a private institution don't forget more like a glorified Secondary school.
They buy food in the school and are not allowed out of the premises.

Not when I need to buy food with my money. Not even the VC will stop me. The management will either allow me to go out and get my food or instruct the adeleke family to return my school fees.

Chiden:
The manager said "you cannot withdraw the money, till you provide legal documents showing the business is yours." That's what she told me bluntly and looked away unperturbed


This is my number please 07025012599

You took a big risk Chiden. What if CAC rejects your business name? There's a 70% chance that your business name (or a similar name) already exists. This is the case for most business owners.

I hope you get the help you deserve. Do you have friends and family around?

Osinbajo is clearly a better leader. He understands the concerns and needs of the current generation. Not Tinubu promising to turn families to radical destitutes with waec fees in the age of self-driving trucks, drones, and Tesla.

In the developed world, self-driving "Dangote" trucks and cars are now being rolled out but "awa" ancestral looters in Nigeria want to keep feeding their unrepentant sheeples with ewa agoyin and dodo.

doggedfighter:
This is just prologue



Yet to begin yet misyarning has started.


Buhari started with several nonsense talk like osibande, West Germany, etc

Tinubu, we know it's your lifelong ambition but we deserve BETTER !

.......

"I came in 2005" - while campaigning for a re-election in Ado-Ekiti

In Delta State, Buhari said, “I am handing over this flag of honour to our presidential candidate.”

A man on the stage to his left corrected him, saying “gubernatorial”, but Buhari responded with “to our senatorial candidate”.

Again, the man corrected him, saying “gubernatorial” and this time, Buhari said “governortorial candidate”

This is the dunce they elected ^^


Another stup!d man promised them waec fee in 2022 and these ma.d people are jumping around like ediots. The implication of this stup!d promise is that families will be too poor they won't be able to afford waec fees.

iamL:
On point. When I was a volunteer worker 70% of married women I encountered said this. They advised us to pursue our ambition and avoid early marriage.

Exactly

pocohantas:
But I am serious o. I don’t know why you people think I am joking.

It's a good feeling. I don't see any reason why anyone should villainize old age or older people. Na all of us they grow old las las

But you worry their lives too much sha Today, you're 40, tomorrow you're evening newspaper.

BigBashiru:
Which is fine. Las las only the strongest genes both male and female will survive.

Ahah no be war, bros.

pocohantas:
It is not even about my age, but that I see nothing wrong in getting OLD. In fact, I love old age. Old age gave me firmer legs, thick highs and big bumbum! When I was younger, I was straight as a ruler.

I am now more organized and my sixth sense is very active. I see the end from the beginning.

Even at my age, when I go to fast foods, young girls with perky agbalumo breast would be stealing stares at me. There is this confidence, charisma and swag that comes with old age. Old age really favoured me. Thank God my man met me in my old age.

Kai! How do you come up with these thoughts

BigBashiru:
Your post ratifies the call to holy polygamy by men.... I've always known something is wrong with monogamy sha.... wen dat 21 yo wife walls away there are 49 more 22 you in the concubine simple.

That post ratifies the call for a holy Polyandry for women who married disastrous men.