₦airaland Forum

Dottore:
The truth is that me and you know that you want to stay back so you can flex with many poonanies like an adult bachelor. We both know that there's no how you won't have a take home that's equivalent of 800k minimum after tax if you choose to stay in UK.

Since you people love to convert dollars, pounds, and Canadian dollars to Naira to make a point, I hope you're aware that it is better to earn 400k in Nigeria than stay in the UK with 800k/monthly?

Wike is NOT Hamzat! Wike has been exposing these criminals in police and army uniform for years.

cococandy:
No I’m just answering the question not necessarily passing blame.
The hormonal issues can be fixed with medication.

And the woman not being able to perform is not the same as her not wanting to do it. In that example, I wasn’t speaking of those who can’t perform but those who can but refuse to for any of the other reasons except hormonal imbalances

I understand your view

Hathor5:
Nothing happens. They just settle down a tad bit later.

Hathor Hathor Good morning o

Hathor5:
Possibly. But the infection rate is even lower in more liberal/progressive Western countries without the overly religious attitudes so prevalent here. Why?

Excellent literacy rate, and better healthcare. Takeaway these two and some of them will be competing for the number one spot.

There is nothing wrong with asking teenagers to stay abstinent for as long as they are unable to deal with possible consequences. However, sexual education, healthcare and contraceptives must be available too.

Okay. Good

Marrying later has to do with higher life expectancy and also female education and has nothing to do with the destruction of family systems.

And when sexually active people avoid or delay marriage due to these factors, what happens?

This one does not make sense. Married couples have sex in the secret too but marital sex is not harmful or sinful or is it?

When you define harmful in the context of the society at large, you'll understand the point.

Hathor5:
Comparisons are made in percentages or per 1000 so it has nothing to do with population size and absolute numbers.

How do you explain the fact that South Africa (despite having a higher rate of literates and standard of living) has a higher HIV/AIDS prevalence than "the over religious" Nigeria? Don't you think our "hypocrisy and holier than thou" have helped in some ways?

I am yet to see a place where they distribute condoms in primary schools. Besides, we are not only talking about teenagers.

The world is getting there so what do you recommend? You mentioned how our mothers married as teenagers, hence, they were able to practise abstinence. Since today's teenagers can't get married, what do you recommend? Condom?

People are and will continue to marry later. That's a world wide trend and so staying abstinent till marriage will pose a bigger challenge than it used to.

Yes, certainly, and destroying the family structure will pose even a bigger challenge.

You called them addicts and animals on the very same thread. I don't think anyone attacks people who abstain from sex in the same manner.

No, I didn't. I only gave a reason why humans can't afford to have sex like animals. That was a response to a claim that sex poses no harm or sin. If it poses no harm, why do we have sex in the secret and frown against public sex - the way animals do?

I am yet to see this happen with the same frequency people tend to slut shame others.

I don't support slut shaming people.

Hathor5:
Funny enough it is in this part of the world where HIV infection rates are the highest. The same part where people are bragging the most about abstaining from premarital sex and acting holier than Virgin Mary.

No, I disagree and I have data to prove that. The numbers only seem higher because we have a high population. In fact, given our poor literacy rate, we are doing excellently well.

See, the issue is this, all these discussions about premarital sex gravitate towards two extremes. Engage like animals or act holier than thou. However, people will continue to have sex like they always have. The only difference is that back in the day young girls were married off in their teenage years, which is not practicable these days so we need to help those who can't or don't want to wait till marriage to make informed decisions and be sensible about it.

No amount of help can invalidate the topic of abstinence. I belief the only education a teenage girl or guy should be receiving about sexual activity (not sexual organs or biology) is abstinence/dangers of premarital sex. While we all know that teenagers of today now do all kinds of acrobatics in bed, I don't think buying them condom or contraceptive is the way to go. I don't think I would be part of those who would be distributing condoms in secondary or primary schools.

I have no issues with adults who choose to have sex before marriage. I only become defensive when they try to make obsolete the topic of abstinence with false claims.

Partners should get tested before they have sex. Contraceptives should be easily available. Healthcare should be provided. Sex education should be the norm.

I agree

I know what the discussion is about but you make it seem like everyone who does not abstain from premarital sex is an addict or animal.

Well, when they make the topic of abstinence impracticable or obsolete, they come across as addicts.

cococandy:
Since you asked. Here are some reasons women have said they reduced marital sexual intimacy

1) poor hygiene

2) loss of attraction

3) wife is carrying a larger portion of the family responsibilities (big libido crusher)

4) hormonal imbalances leading to decreased libido

5) husband cheats, so wife no longer respects or cherishes his sexual attention. Wants to avoid getting STDs from him

6) husband is poor in sexual performance, So it becomes a chore for the woman . Sex that doesn’t give you orgasm or sex with a partner who doesn’t care if you enjoy it too or not must be tedious I imagine

I "love" the way you blamed hormones and the man for a woman's inability to perform in bed. Well-done, Coco

Hathor5:

We can't afford to engage in sexual activities like animals so those who choose to promote abstinence or safe sex with one partner are doing the world a favour. We should celebrate them rather than make them feel backward when we obviously know that the other alternatives can destroy the world. When HIV/AIDS was almost going to destroy the world, these people played active roles.

We have STIs to contend with, consent and legal issues, we've also got teenage pregnancy, and so many other wahala, all associated with sex. Two strange adult goats can afford to knack on the highway but humans can't.

So everyone who enjoys sex is an addict?

No. Don't forget that the argument is not about whether people should have sex or not. Of course, people will always have sex.

Hathor5:
What makes you think that they can't control it? Maybe they simply don't want to because they don't consider sex dirty, harmful or sinful.

So long as the majority of ladies out there will ignore, insult, abuse, or sue a random guy that comes asking for sex, then sex will always pose some degree of harm and dirt.

Why should it be celebrated?

The argument about what is right or wrong will always be subjective. A drug addict will also wonder why someone who has just left the rehab is celebrating.

Hathor5:
There is subtle judgement in your comment but that's ok. As much as you don't like people justify their choice to have premarital sex, I find it ridiculous when people choose to brag about their choice not to have sex and act like they are a better person because of it. I really don't get how it concerns me what you choose to do or not to do with your reproductive organs and why I should condemn or reward you for this or that choice.

I don't judge them, they judge themselves with their lies. In reality, I have never seen or heard a guy approach a lady for sex on the basis of test driving a car before paying/buying. Majority of ladies will turn down a guy who comes with that line but turn around to use the same line to justify why people should have sex online. This is why their arguments about sex have never made sense to me.

It is better to simply claim that they don't have power or control over their sex hormones (this is a more scientific and trustworthy response).

Bragging may seem "off" but celebrating abstinence from sex shouldn't ordinarily provoke anyone. Even ex-prostitutes celebrate their freedom from s.ex addiction.

The sick man in Aso rock won't do anything about these bas.tards until they take over Abuja.

Hathor5:
What about you?

Well I see reasons and I agree with those who say no to premarital sex. For those who want sex before marriage, their excuses or rather reasons for desiring sex have never made sense to me, especially when they use the test driving narrative. I think people should have sex if they want to without trying to rationalize their actions.

Hathor5:
To me the question whether I'm for or against premarital sex is akin to asking if I am for or against people eating more or less carbs. It's a personal decision.

I see your point

pocohantas:
Thank God say you be man. If you be woman, you for regret creating this topic.

Men are really enjoying sha.

LMAO !

Hathor5:
Isn't it a personal decision?

Okay

Jesus Christ !

Kingsteve:
Pray you have enough money to hire people who would take care of you as you start approaching your late 70's.

Pray you don't suffer ailments which would require the services and management of people, due to the fact you can't handle it alone.
Diabetes among others come to mind.

Pray you don't suffer loneliness.
Having a side chick or even a baby mama isn't a guarantee they'll be around when you need them the most.

And finally, pray you don't die a lonely and depressed man.

Bro, even old people with children are wasting and dying in rural areas. Some of them even have children abroad. No be why who get the highest number of children.

I'm not endorsing OP's stance though.

Hathor5:
What research? Who says she has researched anything? Since when are all Eastern European countries sexually liberal?



What has premarital sex has to do with a dwindling population? She is yet to prove that one is the cause of the other or I can equally claim that the excessive use of social media is, which is a claim with no evidence.





In this case having children is a means to an end and not the result of premarital sex or the lack of it.

Hathor, are you for or against pre-marital sex? Also, I'll like to understand your reason. Thanks

Reminds me of how everyone rushed to e-commerce business They saw Jumia and Konga posting fine fine graphics/pictures and they thought the next thing was to delve into the business. The same Jumia that couldn't make profits in almost 6 years o. But Nigerians no dey use ear hear that one career or business is booming.


The secret is: Whatever aspect of tech you choose to explore, just make sure you perfect your skill (This is the aspect they don't tell people). No one is willing to pay a mediocre. Go to Graphics section and see sh**ty works and portfolio everywhere.

My belief is that personality plays a role in career choice. An extrovert delving into certain aspects of art or tech, for example, is already a failure waiting to explode. Sometimes, it is patience not necessarily practice that makes perfect, and many personalities don't understand patience.

Know thyself and strive to be the best in whatever field you find yourself. That tech company will still need a proposal writer, a public relations officer, and many other roles that are indispensable (at least in the next decade).

jmoore:
I don't understand your point. Would you charge your daughter's fiancé 26,000 naira or more before you give him the marriage list?

My point is that they charged your friend because he agreed to a "big" introduction.

And no, I won't charge my daughter's fiance anything. We don't have such traditions and even if there were trends like that, I would have them scrapped.

You people still do introduction, where you tag along your entire family, friends, caterer, and photographers?

Men complain about costly and flamboyant weddings only online. In real life, many of these guys are toothless and too weak to effect any real change.

You guys should go and pay the money and quit complaining!

Country of looters, thieves, bandits, scammers, ritualists, and terrorists!

Vision101:
Intimacy should be treasured. Nobody uses what is treasured anyhow. Marriage is abused so much today because of free sex prior to marriage.

I don't know the need for honeymoon these days when the honeypot has been overused before marriage. Most marriages crash so early because everything that ought to be done after wedding has been done before wedding.

If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?

Imagine going for honeymoon after cohabiting with that same person for 1 year

Romans 1:28 comes to mind here:

Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done.

Lol. This man is still busy fighting himself, trying to convince 180 million people why they should emigrate. People have been relocating to the West long before you were born, even when the so called economy was good. No be you go tell others what to do o. Just drop your bits and stop fighting yourself.

ufotunang:
See what Buhari had caused.... when the bank is operating on a harsh hard unconducive environment....many of those bank workers will lose their jobs

This is not about Buhari or Nigeria.

As reported on Financial Times

Standard Chartered plans to close half its branches and reduce global office space by a third, as it seeks to save costs by permanently adopting changes to working practices and retail banking that accelerated during the coronavirus pandemic.

Chief financial officer Andy Halford said the emerging markets-focused lender would slash its network to 400 from 776 branches after they experienced less usage during worldwide lockdowns in 2020. It will take a $500m charge this year to do so.

StanChart’s physical footprint has been declining over the past five years. It operated 1,068 branches across Asia, the Middle East and Africa back in 2016, but Covid has hastened a trend to online and mobile banking.

Sex is a responsibility to one's partner. However, failure to carry out that responsibility does not justify rape. You both have failed each other.

I know you've already apologized and feel remorseful given the gravity of your actions, however, do note that failure on her side to accept her wrongs (by denying you sex for months without explanations), would lead to more grave consequences; implying that you might keep raping/tormenting that woman.

Now is the time to seek professional help.

Nigra:
I pray you don't get to lose a child ,talk more in this manner...Wicked souls everywhere

I hope you know that losing your life is better than being accused and jailed wrongly for murder? Rather than being emotional about this, just pray for justice. Justice, by the way, don't always end the way we expect. The innocent ones don't have to die for Sylvester's family to get justice.

ruggedtimi:
How I go spend 1.2m for sch fees in naija..I no find one small asian or south America country go

Small Asian country with N1.2 million? You will spend half of that money flying to that country.

What is wrong with the hostel? I saw electricity (bulb), mattresses, wardrobe, ceiling fans, the room is tiled with good ventilation, and obviously not over-crowded.

Everybody just want to trend sha. How much is N1.2 million today? From the same N1.2 million, the school pays her son's lecturers, bills, etc.

The woman should find another issue to trend with.

cardoso514:
Dem get branch for Ibadan?

Yes

You're about to destroy this girl's life. She's not even your main girl but a side chick, meaning you won't marry her if something goes wrong with the procedure.