₦airaland Forum

This is my problem with senseless people like you @op. Why did you exempt your mother from your senselessness?

How come your mother failed to poison your dad? Your post will only be valid when your mom successfully terminate your father.

rien05:
When I think about some issues people have in marriages or in relationships, I believe some people will always have issues no matter who they date or marry.

Many will say "find your type and find peace". I still believe some people will always give trouble and headaches. They are just built to be horrible, petty or "wahalaful". They only get lucky when they find someone who loves them regardless and is willing to overlook or bear with their attitudes.

I know we all have our annoying unbearable sides but some people are just a handful when it comes to these matters and I dont feel they will do well in any relationship unless they work on themselves.

Do you agree?

Absolutely.

blackmamber:
Hello room. My marriage is about 2 years now and I have experienced and learnt alot from peoples marriage and online . My marriage is okay for now but if I were to advice anyone. Please don’t do a court marriage. I am still regretting it

Everything is going well in my marriage because I am financially okay. But I feel I am in a trap because if I die today everything belongs to my spouse (nothing for my dad or siblings. )
I didn’t realize this earlier

To cut the story short.
After my court marriage. Can I still write a will on how to share my properties ?

I am not dying soon. It is just a precaution thought
Thanks. Any advice is welcomed

Why are you bothered about what goes to your siblings? Don't you want to have kids? Can your siblings take care of your kids better than their mother? Don't let what you read online destroy you.

Hathor5:
Dear African Women,

no one man can meet all your needs.

"So, get your side chicks toy boys and sugar daddies but never bring them close to home. Let it remain outside else it would prevent the woman who meets your societal and family needs from doing so."

Hathor Hathor

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman... if a man and woman agree that no relatives are allowed, it should be honored.

The reason you are able to visit your parents is because they do not have a clause in their marriage their adult kids from visiting , even if with a spouse.

I'm not saying conditions shouldn't be honoured but it takes a classless, heartless, and mannerless child without conscience to make or agree to such conditions.

How do you visit someone whom you've banned from visiting you? You go to their house to eat their food but they can't come to yours because your marriage must be protected from perceived "devils" - same devils you visit at will.

Some terms and conditions are from in.sane minds.

Why are you bothered? Stop wasting your energy as no Nigerian magistrate will grant her request. That case won't fly but of course, you're free to waste your money on lawyers.

GboyegaD:
What was the agreement about in-laws living with you guys in the marriage? If you agreed no in-law lives with you, then respect it.

Why would anyone in his or her right senses even agree to some of these crazy 21st century marriage ideas? Imagine visiting my parents during Christmas but the same parent can't visit or live with me because of stup!D agreements. Omo

michlins:
you guys are just pathetic beings. Raze down your house because of a manageable situation. How much is the house rent for his sister?

Do you know how much divorce lawyer costs? You stay behind your keyboard and be forming alpha male meanwhile you have zero sense on how to navigate life challenges.

You will have him loose his house just so he will prove he's a strong man?

Women will chop you clean mouth if you are in a civilized society

As much as your intentions are good, agreeing to such senseless condition will lead to more damaging request. One day, she would ask you to choose either your marriage with her or your mother, father, etc.

LMAO

7th jab loading

samuel051:
Why waste ur time,shey they were d ones asking what batches And B did with their stipend and should get out so they can come in..now they are in and should gain first hand experience what their predecessors went through so that they will know how to talk next time over things they know nothing about. Abeg nobody should complain because what is good for d goose is also good for d gander.

Which batch A? Same batch A that got paid for 2-3 years? Maybe the problem is with batch B but definitely not batch A.

Kobojunkie:
But how are red flags to be "ironed out"?

As for the marriage lamentation threads, let's be honest with ourselves here. The vast majority of those threads are created by individuals who went into marriage believe they had power to correct red flags to begin with.

Again, every relationship that involves human beings has red flags - there exists no relationship without them. So the question is are we meant to correct those red flags or find a way to negotiate the red flags/issues instead or find other partners whose red flags we can better tolerate.

Another issue I note is how people tend to generalize as far as red flags are concerned. What may be a red flag/issue for one person may not be for another. To the OP, the salty food isn't his issue here. He made it quit clear that his big problem is she does not take correction from him. His expectation is that his partner must llsten and be corrected by him.

And what's wrong about this? Are you above correction? Or does the word correction hurts you because it's coming from a male to a female?

Please how else do you change someone who's used to adding excess salt to food? Take her out for a boat cruise?

Please drop some of these senseless arguments in 2022. No one is above correction. You don't always have to be on the opposing side every time. If the word hurts you, go and delete it from the English dictionary.

There is a level you'll get to in life and these things won't make sense to you. Celebrity crush should only be a topic of discussion among secondary school boys and girls. Of course, you can admire certain celebrities for their acting roles, singing skills, and other crafts. Hiding under "celebrity crush" to send or share unsolicited romantic feelings and sensual messages to celebrities is a stup!d practise, one that never should be seen among sensible and responsible adults, married or not.

He's inconsiderate and selfish but I have a feeling that you agreed to his terms before marriage with the hope of changing his mind along the line. I hope this is not the case sha.

crackhaus:
I'm just really happy that this law is going both ways.

Whether it makes any sense or not doesn't even concern me.

As long as both males & females are at liberty to accuse their spouses (or anyone else) of rape whenever they are touched inappropriately, then everywhere good...

Exactly

Excess salt is a minor problem (you can always avoid her food). You have a bigger problem ahead, which is failing to listen or being defensive when corrected. I hope you're not exaggerating the issue because being overly defensive is a MAJOR red flag. I used to know someone that would argue or pick a fight with you for not agreeing with her that Osogbo is the capital of Kano.

Kobojunkie:
You are looking for someone who will "learn from and do as you instruct. This woman is likely not that kind. Does not mean there is anything wrong with her.... instead you want someone who will bow to your whim.

I suggest you let the lady know she is disqualified. And go seek and find that women who will submit to your whims instead.

You too dey argue rubbish.

Avoid "see finish". That's all

Lol that paper evidence is the easiest thing to get right now.

Be strong and have a heart to heart talk with your wife. Apologize for any wrong or damage you may have caused and give her time to process your conversations. Her response thereafter should inform any step you choose to take, whether good or bad. It is well.

You made a mistake by refusing to listen to what she has to say.

There's no such thing as my wife standing by me in difficult times. We are both in the marriage. If sapa comes visiting, na the two of us go suffer. If she leaves, I leave too but... hey, she won't and I won't too.

All banks except VBank

Good move. At least nobody go dey whine about sokoloan this, sokoloan that. Let everyone go and borrow from their relatives.

Cookie14:
Plenty people do, if I can take care of my husband who isnt my direct blood,why the would I not do that for my mum.....and even if you cant do it why bring it here. There hasn't been any meaningful advice on the thread on how he/she can handle her asides bashing the mum.

More people have been on the defensive side, i.e. trying to defend the mother. I don't have any problems with taking care of one's mother but I know too well that OP's concerns are well justified. Her concerns are totally in order.

These days, you can't even put a 25 year old lady and her mother in the same house for a week or two without clashes.

descarado:
Why won't I cook for her?
This same woman is singlehandedly sponsoring them. To cook, wash and keep compound clean is now a problem.
In this present day Nigeria?
This my dear, is an ingrate.

There a lots of things you guys don't know about most mothers. When mothers have terminal illness, 80% don't tell their children especially when they still depend on them.
They will keep mute and still go out to toil and make sure their kids have the basics like education and food.

You don't know anything.

Emotional blackmail no dey work for me o. OP's mother has got no terminal disease. She clearly mentioned that her mother has always been the type that avoid chores at all cost. This is the same type of lady y'all avoid when it comes to marriage but na Nairaland we dey, at the sound of Mother or 9 Months pregnancy, all brain cells shut down automatically!


Let a male version of OP open another thread on whether to marry a slay queen who can't cook or wash and see the reaction. You people are never consistent with your thoughts and perception.

descarado:
I really don't understand the rant.
Ungrateful child.

This one has a roof over his or her head and is schooling yet combining about housework.
It is well

You understand her very well. Do you cook for your own mother? How often do you do that?


Y'all put yourselves in @op's shoes. How many of you cook and wash your mothers clothes here right from your secondary school days?

Emotional blackmail everywhere. Welcome to Nairaland, @OP

Magnoliaa:
Fingers crossed. I'm not promising.

Haha. I don't accept rejection so I'll take that as a yes

Magnoliaa:
Haha. We'll see.

Better

You'll tag me right?