₦airaland Forum

Rocktation: Well, the least complicated one was like SUV's story, so I was contemplating not telling it. Anyway, a certain man's sister and his dad had come to my friend's, to pay for an apartment. Given that my friend's dad is aged, and I was waiting for my friend in the sitting area with them, he'd asked that i help write out the receipt for them.

Jokingly (I thought), as I was doing this, the man kept whispering to his daughter and telling my friend's dad, that they'd be taking me to iboland. See me, see wahala! Anyway, I didn't know how serious they were, until I got home from some other place I had been to the next day, only to find this same man, his two daughters, two sons (the dude included), his wife and two other men there. They appeared relaxed with my parents, indicating that they must have been there for a while before my arrival.

Cut long story short, my mum couldn't wait to deliver the 'good news'. And I couldn't be rude, by giving an outright answer at that minute. So I told the 'dude in question', that I'll think about it. So everybody went to their house to sleep in peace that day. And so the usual continued from there, phone calls upon phone calls came in, until he finally understood that there was no way he could win with me.

I was still in my second year then, so I guess that was all the reason I had. At least, I never thought of anything past that.

That family must have been watching too much Ibo movies on African Magic every saturday morning.

But some people get mind oh!

Rocktation: Well, the least complicated one was like SUV's story, so I was contemplating not telling it. Anyway, a certain man's sister and his dad had come to my friend's, to pay for an apartment. Given that my friend's dad is aged, and I was waiting for my friend in the sitting area with them, he'd asked that i help write out the receipt for them.

Jokingly (I thought), as I was doing this, the man kept whispering to his daughter and telling my friend's dad, that they'd be taking me to iboland. See me, see wahala! Anyway, I didn't know how serious they were, until I got home from some other place I had been to the next day, only to find this same man, his two daughters, two sons (the dude included), his wife and two other men there. They appeared relaxed with my parents, indicating that they must have been there for a while before my arrival.

Cut long story short, my mum couldn't wait to deliver the 'good news'. And I couldn't be rude, by giving an outright answer at that minute. So I told the 'dude in question', that I'll think about it. So everybody went to their house to sleep in peace that day. And so the usual continued from there, phone calls upon phone calls came in, until he finally understood that there was no way he could win with me.

I was still in my second year then, so I guess that was all the reason I had. At least, I never thought of anything past that.

That family must have been watching too much Ibo movies on African Magic every saturday morning.

But some people get mind oh!

didadavid: I wish there was a "dislike" botton.

Check your forehead, its located there.

Nonsense!!! Must you comment?

mko abiola: @acidtalk u are 2 fuunny!lol
Laf don tear my trouser
So many funny ppu on nairaland lol

*runs off and jumps on a moving Air Nigeria Plane*

Na dead man comment for my post?
Abi no be this same man MAUlag students dey throway curse to for him grave because na him make GEJ change their name?

Una no go kill person with laughter.

From the first commentator to the very last, I wan almost laugh enter *infront of Dana aircraft*

mithe: Are u sure he is not 1 of them, cos he finds it diff 2 xpress himself "they get me job better offer".

*laugh wan make me run enter BRT lane*

They got her a cleaning job at their office.

afam4eva: I knew that girl was my mother's age mate.

Herself and my grandmother used to go fetch firewood in the village together way back in 1940s

Ecalos: Nigeria or no Nigeria the same concept applies and thats the point I am trying to drive across...I lived in Nigeria for 24 years before moving to the States...My parents have been married for 28 years and what i just described to you is how my parents have been sharing their resources. They still live in Nigeria and still do the same.. There are times where my dad made more and he contributed more and times where my mum made so much more and contributed more than my dad did..At this present moment, my mum makes more than my dad and they still share resources equitably. They both shared in paying school fees and all that. That has and will never stop my mum from respecting my dad because he sure is a man of integrity who treats her right and never let his ego get the best of him..My dad still washes dishes, he still cooks for my mum and all that so Nigeria or no Nigeria, the same rule and concept applies

Really impressed.
So much to learn from.

2CatWoman: What of someone from Ibadan whose grandparents came to find work in the new oilfields, whose father worked as an oil engineer and settled in the area marrying into the local community. Where do they belong? State of origin should be removed jare. Makes us look backward.

*thumbs up*
Can't our leaders for once see beyond their nose and the money in the treasury and start thinking with their brains?

joeydozzy: by their stories, we shall know their ages

Oya Run along now. They have started "Berney and Friends" on tv. Go watch some nursery rhymes.

ekwah: In other words, men shouldn't expect as much respect from their wives because their wives, unlike in the past also contribute financially to the family Sure say acid no leak into your brain? What has respect got to do with familial provision? Isn't respect supposed to be mutual in the first place? This your argument no get water abeg
By the way u need to tell me what scale you use in quantifying respect.

Okay! I Don Hear.
Now step down from the stage let someone else say something meaningful and beneficial.

bakila: Which place you learn that one?

Dictionary.

Rocktation: Babe, na so my story hungry you reach? You're a chick too na. Don't we all have stories?
AcidTalk. I'll be back.

Please do 'cus we all want to learn.

I have learnt to Only Propose in my inner most room, with the curtains down and even tv turned off so I don't get to be embarrased like the other guy above.

Rocktation: Where to start from

...From anywhere, up, Down, sideways. Just start.

kinnkw: Women will screw your life when they are breadwinners. But that is different from what we are saying here.
The topic is sharing/ contributing a percentage of what each person makes to run the home.
This women work for crying out loud, don't argue that right?
Now I affore that she should put part of her earnings it into the family, if you are against it then please tell us what she should do with the money she earns?

I am in no where against it.
My major concern was if a woman is made to contribute financially in the running of the home won't she one day start putting up unwarranted ego and attitude? But to be honest, I am impressed with what I have read so far and even willing to learn more as this is certainly going to help young men and women know how to handle financial expences and still remain united in their respective homes.

ikoha: those figures dey gimme headache, i think they are wrongly punctuated.

IBO man!
Na only the money (figures) you see to comment on.

Nna mehn! Odikwa very risky.

Ecalos: We decided before we got married that responsibilities were going to be shared. We were both on the same page with our ideas on finances and that just worked out well for us. Neither of us had that mentality that he had to be the sole provider and i the sole house keeper.

First of all, we both make similar incomes but his is slightly higher than mine since he works overtime a lot and I dont. I prepared a financial schedule for us and on the spreadsheet, i listed our incomes and then broke down all the bills we will have to pay every month. Based on both our earnings, we shared how best we will allocate resources to those bills, how much goes into savings and investments, how much goes into entertainment (datenight, lunch dates etc) and so on. At the end of it all, what worked best for us is as follows:

I pay the internet bill, the netflix bill and my phone bill while he takes care of our rent, our electricity and gas, our auto insurance and some others. We save a certain percentage after paying all these bills and since the bills I take care of are not that many, the savings percentage comes from my check and goes into our joint account and the rest is shared as follows: we both put a certain percentage to our joint checking which takes care of gas, groceries and household items and the rest goes to both our personal checkings which we use for lunch outings with coworkers, manicures, clothing, surprise gifts and so on.

Around the house, I do most of the cooking and he helps me wash the dishes after I have prepared him a wonderful meal. I hate vacuuming but he loves doing that so he vacuums while I dust and arrange all furniture and I wash the bathroom since I love washing bathrooms.

Thanks a bunch for this.
Its obvious you don't reside oin Nigeria but I believe I and so many other people found this comment very useful.

Once again, thanks so much.

jp philips: picture this scenario, a former colleague was "contributing" to run their home, it happens that the woman was the one that bought both cars they use, out of the woman's cavalier, she knocked her engine down and told the husband to replace not the engine but the car, the guy said he has to save and till the new car arrived,
the guy never used his car again. she monopolized the husband's car simply because she bought it.
haven't you seen where they pay rent and flood the house with useless relatives while you sit helpless,
guy!! just count yourself lucky for the wife you have and stop showing that alligator muscles.
did i mention that the guy was building the house while the woman was buying the cars?

the moment a Nigerian woman feeds you in Nigeria, "YOU ARE FINISHED"
leave Nairaland internet warriors alone, 80% of the good tales you read here are lies.
please don't tell me its a peculiar case, interview most women you know and hear what majority has to say.

can you imagine Nigerian ladies that find it difficult to come out of their pocket as spinsters will automatically become bread winners with ease? if any man puts a Nigerian woman in that position in marriage where she fends for the family, You will see what Jesus saw in the hands of the jews.

God bless you for this.
Seems you are basically the only one seeing things from my point of view or only one just being truthful in here

jp philips: guy, this is the point where you should be thankful for having a good wife, replace her!! ur joking right?
lemme ask you, can that small money of yours run that home perfectly?
she is nice to you not because you made money in the past but she is just ur blessing so stop shouting.
most women in Nigeria would have reduced you to a nanny in ur present condition not minding the magic u worked in the past.
60% of women i know will put you in chains, the only real intimacy you get will be from the house girl. if you are in doubt, Ask madam NAFDAC

Fully with you on this. SECONDED!!!

Mynd_44: If it was me, there ain't no talking over. That's it we are done

No doubt. It was over from that very moment.

But at least either she would have called him to apologize for her actions or he called he to inquire why she took such action. Before finally calling it quit, they would have at least trashed out that embarassing experience.

SUV: yeah: in 2006 when my parents arranged family friends marriage stuff for me, i promised them i will come home that day, buh my boyfiend (who is now my husband) took me away and made sure i missed going. they came and waited for me the whole day, no body could reach me on the phone, all the food prepared wasted and my parents were mad. i returned home day after and asked my parents to return whatever they have collected from them, that i am not interested.

my parents forgave me when my hubby came for my introduction

And some people on this forum will argue and swear such marraige arrangement( arrangee marriage) doesn't happen again as they will term it achairc.

By the way, didn't they know you had a boyfriend at that time before going to arrange someone else for you?

Curious to know.

asidere: Oshabalinks at enerhen junction warri,i paid them #3000 to get a job for me,but sent me to companies that has no vacancy.if you have gotten any job through them please tell us so that we can trust them

Same format Esther BreakThrough (EBT) uses to deceive their unsuspecting victims.

Nairalanders, let's keep it coming to safe fellow Nigerian Youths this criminal act and also keep this dupes out of business by posting name and addresses of fake companies you know or have fallen victim to them.

luckgames: I cook sometime, clean and wash the cloths
I do 90% Shopping for the kids

Woooow!!! If this is true then this is great. A whole lot of Nigerian men will find it demeaning to enter the kitchen to cook, clean or even wash not to talk of doing the shopping for the kids.

Ecalos: I sense a lot of Ego wars going on amongst some men..

Let me break this down with my own opinion.

First and foremost, Money DOES NOT equal to respect. It never did and it never will. Material Wealth will never ever bring any one respect. It might bring an illusion of some flattery but that can never be described as respect. What is respect? It is a positive feeling of esteem and it could also mean to genuinely honor another and to treat the other the way you will love to be treated.

I think the kind of "respect" the poster is referring to is more of subordination and it seems like he is implying the man providing for his family will make his wife "fear" him the way we all feared our parents when we were kids because of what they could do to us if we messed up. That may be ok in parent-child relationship but the relationship between a man and a wife is totally different. Its supposed to be like the relationship between best friends where everyone recognizes their strength and try to fill in the gap where the other is weak.

My husband earned his respect from me way before we got married so if a man is just trying to start the process of gaining respect while he is already married, the in my opinion something is wrong somewhere.
With that said, here is what we do in our home. How did he earn his respect? He is a man of his word, he treats other people and not just me with dignity, he is humble, he is gentle and very forgiving. He does not insist on his own way and above all he seeks God first before making any decision no matter how trivial.

So at this point no matter how little or how great he makes monetarily, he has my respect as he continually shows himself as a man of integrity which for me will never ever be earned with money...

Nice contribution and very enlightening comment I must confess.

Please, I am curious to know, Do you share responsibilities with your husband? And at what point did you both decide on who does what (financially) in the marriage? Was it prior to when you both got married, few weeks/months after, or when things became quite unnearable for the man?

I will really appreciate your response.
Thanks in advance.

mollytinrox: @op, yes, I did turn down a marriage proposal at my graduation dinner from my fiance because it wasn't just right then! He wouldn't let me work, wouldn't let me visit my hometown and we had serious trust issues. And he did the famous one-knee-on-the-floor thingy while I was so embarrassed I just stood up and walked out. It took 6months to convince my mum after the refusal that I'm not an ogbanje!

*laugh one make me piss for body* @Ogbanje.

Damn it!!! Can't just imagine how embarrased he would have felt.

How did you both talk ot over.
Anyone will assume you were probably having another affair at that time.

luckgames: Girl I am still waiting for all the photo
How soon can you sent the photo?
Be nice

Ashewo kobo kon.
Shebi you don maRry? Why you still dey pursue woman for here?

GeRrout fast before I pour pepper water on your white chinko Prada shirt.

emiaby: @ acidtalk...tot u called someone a moro*on earlier and look at you condemning someone...smh

Okay! I withdraw my statement. He is a repentant mo*roon not a functional one any more.

Come to think of it, was that your contribution?

Beaf!:
So after all the noise about marginalization, this is what you have to offer to us as a president? A man with a fish brain?


NB: All insults are automatically back to sender.

Until I saw the "!" After the name, I wanted to faint with surprise.

afam4eva: This country is one of confusion. You were born in Warri, you pay your bills in warri but you're not from Warri. I think this indigeneship issue should be thoroughly looked into. if we must remain as a nation then every Nigerian should have the right to indiegenes(or whatever it's gonna be called) of wherever they call home.

The thing baffles me too.
You pay your taxes to a state which helps in developing that state, and yet your her denied certain benefits based on indeginship.

Nigeria needs lots of Spiritual Cleansing.

Una no go use laugh kill person for here.

N750 mtn recharge card for ransome?
Nigeria is sure on the brisk of collapse with this alarming rate of poverty and crime rate.

Very soon people will start kidnapping their neighnors children only to demand a tuber of yam or bowl of garri.

Urgent step needs to be taken to curtail this embarrasing menace that has swept across the country.

Why should Nigeria be known for;

Kidnapping, Drug Traffixking, Human Trafficking, Ritual Killing, Terrorism, Militancy, Money Laundering, International Prostitution, Identity theft, Docoment Forgery, Suicide Bombing, Credit Card Scam, Armed Robbery, Internet Fraud and the list goes on.

Every ethnic group and religion has had representative both within and outside Nigeria so this is definitely not the time to start blaming one ethnicity or religious body for anyone of this crime.

It is tagged "Nigerian Crime"


Is this nation cursed

Dear nairalanders,

It has been a common knowledge for young Nigerian Job seekers to be scammed on a daily basis due to the desperation of people trying to get a means of survival.

Be kind enough to list the names of fake companies who try to scam or deceive unsuspecting job seekers by sending out fake information of job vacancy or intervies.


Below are 2 Major ones I have heard about ;

*Esther Breakthrough (EBT). They used to be somehwere around Ojuelegba in surulere. You will be made to pay a sum only to be given fake employment letter.

*VHR - 9 oremeji str, Isolo. They are into Multi Level Marketer of Healthcare drugs but will always lie to deceive people with different vacancy names only to be told to even pay a particular sum.


Nairalanders, please post others you know of so that people can be aware and not fall victim.