₦airaland Forum

Nairalanders, I swear una no go use laugh kill person.

Na una dey complain say Government no provide job, now una see job the job owners even dey beg una to come for employment una still dey vex.

On a serious note, for those of you who are currently employed, I see you stick to your job while scouting for a better and meaningful one. And for those who don't have a job at all, I say you start thinking deep on business you can start on your own to keep body and soul together prior to when you get a good job.


Most of this 'Time Wasters' are very rampant out there. 90% of vacancies now are fraud related. The advertisers put up advert just to scam desperate and unsuspecting Job seekers.
All the best!

Rocktation: I'll tell you something poster, that man of yours never wanted to marry you. Or he changed his mind along the line and did not know a better way to bail out. Else, which reasonable husband or husband-to-be will want to do that and even let you in on it? Nonsense. Continue your life jor, it is well.
It takes but a minute, to meet the chosen one. So who's to say that you won't meet him today?

Exactly what i wanted to type before just seeing yours.


By the way, why are Nairalanders so childish? If at most of you's young ages you haven't seen anything in life doesn't mean people don't have experience every passing second.

Is there a medal to be won if she seeks attention on nairaland?


@OP, like earlier saidn he is coming up with that excuse because he doesn't know what else to tell you to make you loose interest. Deep inside him, he might just have felt you are desperate to marry because first you ignored the religion difference and secondly ignore the fact that you are older than him. That might have made him scared.

No sane man will not assist his wife when she is broke. Dated women who her far richer and comfortable than I am, neither have I NEVER asked them for a dime nor have I tried attempting to share responsibilities with them.

I do the basic and more and when I am broke, they always know. So why won't I do the same and more for my own wife?


By the way, what happened to the engagement ring? Bring am make we go sell am to aboki, make we use the money do faji. That you kin guy fit even buy GL (panda) ring give you so check well well before bringing it before aboki go use vex chook person with daggar.

duality: 90% of those commenting here are not married and know next to nothing about marriage.

Please if you are married, kindly share your opinion on what exactly should be the case for couples and issues bothering on financial responsibilities

Men : Have you had your marriage proposal turned down by your girlfriend?

Women : Have you turned down a marriage proposal by your boyfriend before.

If your answer is in the affirmative please can you give us the reason why?

I was watching CNN early morning and I saw a man who was running with the Olympic touch run to the crowd where his pregnant (8 months) girlfriend was standing and he proposed and of course she said yes, then he hugged her and returned to running with the touch.

Early this year while at Shoprite (surulere) this present Mr Nigeria came alongside his friend, his friend's 'heavily pregnant' fiancee and (hidden) photographers. After dodging and looking for where to get the best shot, Mr Nigeria's friend finally proposed to his girlfriend and of course she said yes.

There were lots of cheers and applause by most people in the mall that day. And the lady 'pretended' to by shy, surprised and joyous at the same time.

I didn't see any biggy in the two above examples as this ladies are already heavily pregnant and will even desperately want marriage more than the men in question.

So Men and Women, please share your experience on A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TURNED DISSAPOINMENT.

For Mature Contributors ONLY.

If you don't have any meaningful contribution, please kindly use the "BACK" button to return to the previous page.

Thanks in advance.

moonraker: acidtalk??

I get your point, like seriously..

what you fail to see though is that

taking full responsibility of finances etc

doesn't necessary give you respect.

plus the world is changing. marriage is a

partnership btw man and woman...

Any woman that expects the man to take 100 percent

of bills etc is well day dreaming.

with all due respect, I think your ideology is only

practiced in Nigeria. you need to see what goes on in

Europe, Asia and even America...

I agree with you, but don't forget even in those areas you mention, women have same constitutional rights as men and in some cases, a woman's decision is usually final both at home and in the court of law.

Kenya which is even in Africa, it is well known that most of their women fend for the family while the man just sits idle at home, but the man dares not raises his voice not to talk of hand on his wife as he will spend uncountable days behind bars.

superior1: My wife is suppose to be my helper, right?. I am not Van damme, when the bill is killing me, I shout to her for support. It changes nada about her respecting me, it is dis kind of Bruce lee arts suggested by OP that made some men age and die before their time. In my village, most women live several years after their poor 'all bills carrying polygamous'husband is long gone.

One wife with a single kid alone na load. So why them go marry more than one and numerous children. Na their greed kill them.

Dudu_Negro: The Yoruba ideal is opposite the Igbo ideal. Yoruba ideal is centered on "modesty and character"! Igbo ideal is centered on "quick money by any means". Sorry, we do not share ideals and so we cannot share nativity or culture. Definitely I cannot share same state of origin with Igbo. I share ideals with Yorubas under our commonwealth and therefore what is mine is theirs and what is theirs is mine.
I am glad you see wisdom in the American ideal as the common factor for Americans. Americans don't share ideal with Mexicans, hence why they discriminate against them left and right but look the other way when a Canadian is in the country illegally.

I see a whole lot of wisdom in what you have just said.

Don't you think if we remove the "state of origin" and replace it with "state of residence/birth" Nigeria will adapt with the 'unity' over time and we will start having the 'american' idea of one nation in like 50years from now?

Please enlighten me.

arabambi: in my own way, i think men should live up to their responsibility and always pray that God help them. Is always good as a man to see yourself as the head of the house irrespective of ur income. Ur wife is ur assistance irrespective of her income and she is equally your responsibility. Even though you are a cobbler, a mechanic, a doctor and so on and ur wife earns more or less God has made u the head dont wait to share ur duty. She will do her part. U can ask her to lend u and pay back later not telling her sharing duty. Am maried and thats what i do. The economy is truly hard, but may we continue to be on top.

Nice one.
My thinking too that irrespectice of if you earn far less than the woman, a man can still strive to foot the whole bills. It might not be easy for I believe God will bless him according to his intentions.

Its like a man who prays never to go meet anyone for assistance, one way or the other things just fall into plays before he is totally worn out to the extent of going to borrow or beg for help.

I am really impressed by what i am reading.

It appears even the women don't see absolutely nothing wrong in sharing financial responsibilities with their husband and still according him his respect as the man of the house.

slimyem: work themselves to death?
Where did i say that?
.
.
A woman will gladly share responsibilities with you if you treat her like a partner that she is.. not something lesser.
But treating her like an insurbordinate and expecting partcipation in responsiblities alongsides 100 percent respect is a big FAIL!!!

Really want to know where the 'lack of respect' in marriages emanated from. Is it from sharing responsibilities or what exactly.

Also please what are the areas you don't agree with me on? Will like to know and get corrected.

Shollypopz: WOW! And you actually beleive this?!! Your mentallity is so warped, i don't even know where to start from

Have we wondered to find out why some women will still stick their butt in their home knowing fully well their husband is a perpetual Cheat, Woman Beater and maybe even a drunk?

Irrespective of his flaws, they know they might never find a man who caters for his family as much and whole handedly as their husband does.




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luckgames: I have a rule today and for all men
If you make 100,00.00 and you wife make 20,00.00
make her contribute some, she has to have a stalk in the married
If she make 70,00.00 some will still think you have to do it only because you have done it in the past

Sir, I totally understand your point and see reasons to it. But do you think the respect she gives you now will be anything compared to if you are 100% responsible for the upkeep of the family?


Just let's share this whole scenerio without insults and quarrels. Honest facts are needed here.

luckgames: Kid
You can not do that
The goal here is not to insult you
You talk like we are in the 1960 or 1970
I am very bless, the lord is good to me
So I am not a $5 man
My wife make more money than me now
Yes but I have make lot more than her in the past

now let us deliberate like gentlemen.

When you were earning more than her was she also sharing responsibilities (bills) in the home?

Now that she is earning more, is she footing more bills than you are?


Sit deep, relax, breath in and out and be TRUTHFUL, since then and now did you notice any 'slight' change in her behavior (respect/submissiveness) towards you?

I will honestly like to know sir.
You are the ones (married men) I need their honest contribution on this thread


Thanks in advance sir.

luckgames: acidtalk:
If you married to a Doctor and you work in the bank
Most likely your wife will make more money than you

See, I have seen men whose wives earn up to 3 times their salary and yet they never share responsibilites with their wives.

Their wife assist on her own without the man pointing out what and what are the bills she is to pay.

Such men will always have their wives assist and cater for the home FULLY when he (husbnd) embarks on a future project I.e building of their future home or investing in a business. They man has earned the trust and respect of the woman and as such there won't be an issue when the woman starts picking up the bills.

Not some low life kid that starts to share responsibilities even while dating (not married) for fear that he doesn't want his fiance/wife to save more that him or get richer than him as such let him take from her as much as he can so she doesn't become richer than him.

luckgames: Dumb acidtalk:
Listen to a lady that I think has see the world
Know what it takes to raise a family
Not your Foolish BS Goat head

One more Insult from you and I will make Nairaland as a whole in miserable hell for you (not just this thread).

Must your comments be filled with vulgar language? If you can't keep your low self street life off nairaland then it isn't a must you contribute. Must you derail the thread?

Obvious you are a freaking sorry a$5 irresponsible man.

We don talk about none sharing of responsibilities see as him blood don the rush.

Na your kind useless self no go drop money for food begin cross leg in front of tv dey wait for dinner.

luckgames: Nobody in a relationship should have full control
Married is a partnership pilot and co-pilot
I am not sure what part of the world you live in
Try and find out
If you bless and make lot of money Yes you can F??king pay all the bill
You sound ignorant

Yeah! I now sound ignorant because I am coming out as a Fellow Man in the open to state why men no longer get the respect they deserve because they have intentionally belittled themselves by fighting agressively for their wives to share domestic responsibilities with them right?


When it comes to issue of finance, you all are quick to shout "Equality" in marriage, anything aside that you want a "totally submissive wife".

See gendal sentiments oh!

fresh_dude: So if the man were responsible for all bills he would be free to disrespect his wife?and she wouldn't have any basis for complaint abi?

don't put confusion or twist words here.

Even when a woman earns far more than her husband and the man NEVER raises the issue of 'shared bills or responsibility', no matter how feminist or egocentric that woman is, she will adore and give her husband his full respect as the man of the house.

Those are the kind of executive women who irrespective of tight schedules and late meetings at the office, will sneak home to go and prepare dinner for their husbands and kids and will never travel on official meetings without giving the man few days prior to the travel date.

They are not scared the man will leave them or their lives will crumble without him. But rather they respect him for his self dignity and utmost love and sacrifice for his family.




m

Mynd_44: I will rather sit back and watch

Happy Sitting.

Mynd_44: Chai

Wetin nah?
You dey fear ni abi wetin cause the shout?

luckgames: Dumb A??
Men that are doing 100% still don't get the respect
Today is different from 1970
In the developed countries of the world it now takes two income to support a family
Year back my man will have two cars in the garage, a house that is today 300,00.00 (in 19770 the same house was 40,00.00) mid-class income of 45,000.00
Women are have good education as man today and better income
So keep your BS to yourself

*laugh wan kill me*

I took the patience to read through your comment before checking your gender and lo and behold, I knew it was one frustrated man that would have gone rantting that bad.
If the post said "women respect and honor your husbands". Moro*ons like you will give us a billion examples how women of those days knelt to feed their husbands now you are quick to justify why the responsibility MUST be shared.

A word of advice, you can't have full control to a ground when you aren't paying the full bills. If you like, Hang Yourself. Na you sabi.

Mynd_44: Well what can we do about it?

A whole lot.

Reorientation, Sober reflection and repentance of greedy taste.

When young Nigerian men complain today on how their wives don't give them full respect as the man of the house unlike during their childhood days when their mothers basically 'worshipped' and feared their fathers. She dare not disobey his instructions and even if she was displayed at his actions, she doesn't point it out to his face in the public.

What so many (larger percentage) men of this generation fail to realize is that, their Fathers catered for the needs of the family 100% without asking a dime from his wife to support the family. Bust now, its a norm for men to share responsibilities with their wives like Feeding, house rent, power, water, security, childrens school fees, dstv, phone, feeding and even groceries bills with their wives and this same men expect to get 100% (full) respect and accord from their wives?

Where on earth is it possible for one 'partner in business' to be a slave to another when you hold equal or sometimes majority investment in the business.

Nigerian men if you want 100% respect and loyalty from your wives, then start taking 100% responsibility of the needs of the family and home from.

toyemz: an addition
and even in instances where she does work
the husband still assumes all the responsiblities

It baffles me hearing mean flaring up all to justify why their wives should share the financial responsibilities of the house with them (men) and yet expect 100% respect from the woman.

That isn't just possible.

alj harem: Well I hope this thread generate some meaningful discussion. now the question is why igbos on nairaland hate yorubas with all there lifes

Good question.
Why do Ibos Hates Youruba? And why do Yorubas hate Hausa and why do Hausa Hate Ibos?

The circle keeps going round. Can we have Genuine Answers please and bring an END to the ma*dness happening across this country.

Mynd_44: This is unfortunate but true

Everyone irrespective of age and sex have all gone extremely materialistic.

achukwunet: ROME! That's where. When I went back home in 2010, my family and I were separated: My parents and younger sister flew straight to Lagos while my sister and brother and I were flown off to Rome, then to Lagos. Here's Why:


1) Nigerians in Rome are cuhrazy!!! My sister and I I guess you can say are oyinbos, so the men on the flight were taking pictures of us. People we didn't even know!

2) While we were taking off, people suddenly remembered that they had to use the bathroom and make emergency phone-calls (no emergencies, they were perfectly fine)

3) About 3 hours into the flight, many people had to use the restroom. (We were sitting in the veeeeeery back) Fights broke out about who was where first and who's time to use the bathroom was more important.

4) Uncontrolled children crying loudly and the parents not doing anything to quiet them up.

5) An hour prior to landing, a woman started to make a phone-call during the flight. When a male flight attendant came up to ask her if she wanted the entire plan to crash, she got even more upset with him, saying he should let her make her call. (She never did make that call)

6) As we were about to land and the lights for "Seat-belts On" flashed on, everyone sat down. 2 seconds later, a woman got up, saying she had to use the bathroom. When a female flight attendant asked her to sit, she was angry, saying she was "Pressed". (She sat down)

7) The plane was squeaky clean when we boarded. As we we're leaving, there was goat meat on the floor, rice everywhere, chin-chin that had been stepped onto so much it was ground into the floor.


Worst Flight of my Life. Not all the people on the flight were bad, but a good majority

Nigerian's are just quite uncivilized.

queensmith: hmmm- it's dificult sha. If I met a billionaire I won't want him not to marry me lol.

You are such a political thief.

3ace: Oga deda, on behalf of Acid, abeg no vex. But u no do wetin acid do na. Acid always came back to do follow-up posts in order to encourage people to develop his thread. He even went to Alhaji's thread and persuaded him to re-post his experience on his thread which originally was yours no doubt(scroll up and see Lekky 2's post). I think Acid helped you develop a thread that will contain more information and be beneficial to all. For this reason, you should appreciate him for that. This is my judgment, I rise-COURT!

Oga mi, your head dey there.
Never knew something of that nature has already been up before.

More this, I will dash you one brand new 'toy' Honda EOD with full a/c, auto transmission, v6 engine, alloy wheels, tinted glasses and bullet proof.

Detongue: Nigerians, una nor go kill person with laff

Before you die of Laughter, add your list first.

dasparrow: Nigeria must first fight corruption before anything else. Also, we must be able to boast of stable electricity as a nation and stop living in darkness like a bunch of cave men and women. I think that if most Nigerians were relatively comfortable, they probably won't be so tribalistic or clannish. It is abject poverty caused as a result of persistent corruption that is fueling divisiveness and hate amongst the populace. Hence, whether Nigerians claim their state of origin or place of birth or state of residence won't make much of a difference.

Moreover, what works for america may not work for Nigeria. Americans don't share a single common ancestry. Their ancestors wandered into america from around the globe. Members of each Nigerian ethnic group share a common ancestry so it will be difficult to have say a hausa man claim Lagos even though he was born and raised there. His hausa name alone could make the natives of Lagos state view him as an outsider and not one of theirs.

I personally don't know what will unite Nigerians because Nigerians were never united to begin with. They were forced by outsiders namely the british to share a country together despite stark cultural and religious differences. Today, we are reaping the consequences of this forced marraige.

Don't you think Ethnicity and Religious 'demacation' is what is Nigeria's GREATEST problem?

Biafra4tharmy: Ndewo umunne m. Anyi choro Obodo Nke Biafara. Maka na'ndi ugwu afuro Ndi'gbo n'anya. Chi ukwu gozie unu. Yagazie!

Abeg na Sovereign National Conference we call am NOT ibo town meeting.

Translation please!!!