₦airaland Forum

Box18:
Dat is how many ladies got married to a man they don't love but still go ahead and marry him because he is financially ready and end up cheating on that same man with their ex boyfriend they truly love

My brother, it's a major reason a lot of kids do not belong to their supposed father but other men outside. Paternity fraud.

From comments here, especially from ladies, it's about biological clock, women being ready to marry in their 20s, friends, family and Nairalanders will be shaming unmarried women at 30, she married a guy who was ready, blah blah.....

Now the following seem to be the case:

Girls can marry just anyone ready to marry them.
Marriage is a major achievement.
Love has no role in marriage at all.
The woman has no will or power to defy what society will say but just a zombie following others. But a guy should always stand by the woman.
A girl might just accept to marry you as a shaming escape opportunity.
The woman can just leave a guy, no biggie.
A woman can leave one guy and go straight into marrying another man, the former has no right to make pim...
A lady with a guy can be scoping and tasting other guys if one of them will marry her.

Well, if this is what women are telling us we should accept from girls, then guys better wise up. A guy should know what to do and play the game better. He who meets a killer in a quiet, narrow alley must sort himself out and find a way to stay alive.

chatinent:
Do these ladies even know that showing bombom to a camera is an insult?

Who will teach them etiquette and manners?

Grown ups behaving like Bart Simpson.

When you do something you don't know the meaning of, that's what happens.
Correct her now, she will insult you.

Olayetan:
This are comments from whites.

If it were to be nigerians

This are the comments you will be seeing.

1, my husband is not the biological father of our children

2, i have 4 different sugar daddies that gives me money for sex

3, I'm sleeping with my husband brother

4, i have 3 baby mamas outside and she doesn't know

5, i used charm/kayamata to hold him down

So on

Weyrey!
Spot on.

Lamanii22:
You need to go and visit alagbo(people that do herbs).... It is called ela in Yoruba but this particular one is on another level

Hmmmmm

Miracood2:
Back then in the days.. nursery School sweet jhoor

Some rivers in Africa are...

9 Niger... Benue... Congo... Orezi... Hippo... Zambezi

Rhymes from my nursery days..

Spell checkers pls do the needful

Lol.
I was actually: Nile-Niger-Senegal-Congo-Orange-Limpopo-Zambezi.

Both Rivers Orange and Limpopo are in South Africa.

samuk:
I already commented before I saw this. You are on point.

Benin history is so exciting when the researches are done by Benin themselves.

I was also looking at the reasons why the Iyoba or Queen mother palaces were traditionally stationed in lower Uselu outside of the old Benin city proper, I believe someone did a research on the old addresses of Iyoba Palaces along the Uselu Lagos Road. While most of these Iyoba palaces no longer existed, the traditional council should erect plaques with brief inscriptions in these locations.

The Iyobas were also allowed to have her own chiefs.

We are drag here and spend so much time debunking lies about our history instead of writing our own.

As far as I can recollect, the Iyoba still has her own royal court with chiefs.

In addition, the Iyoba is number 5 among the town chiefs (Eghaevbo n'Ore) led by the Iyase/Prime minister. Of course the list of town chiefs is longer than below. The first 4 are called Ikadele n'Ene or the Four Pillars.
Iyase
Esogban
Eson
Osuma
Iy’Oba (Iye-Oba)
Esama
Ologbose (Ologbosere)
Osula
Ima (Imaran)
Obobaifo
Obarisiagbon
Obaraye
Obasuyi-Noghaevho
Obaseki

wysay:
According to the records of the british in the colonial era, Benin had the fourth or third largest population during a census I think in the 1930's, and that census didn't even count all Edoid people as Edo, if it did then Benin would have been the largest ethnic group.

This is a thing which I keep trying to drive home: the situation of today and that of the precolonial era are entirely different.
Just because Benin is not seen as very populous today, doesn't mean Benin didn't have a large population in the precolonial era.
Many people who claim one ethnic group or the other today, their ancestors claimed Edo...

You have to take a scientific approach towards history and eliminate any sort of guess work or impression or feeling. That is how you get to the facts and that is what i generally do. I question every single thing, i have no certitudes, I need things proven before I believe them.

Have a nice day.

The population of Benin-City was one of the largest in this part of West Africa. It was like the Lagos of those days. But compared to the size of the areas where it held sway, the population still wasn't enough to spread across the whole empire. Benin needed men to fight wars, so it needed to retain its population. Remember that some of those warriors never returned as they stayed to form and or protect new colonies.

Consider distance of Lagos, Yenagoa, Degema, Igede in Benue State, Ga in Accra, Ghana, from Benin Kingdom of today. Not to mention nearer parts like Ondo/Ekiti or Delta State. I am very much aware of the many Benin descendants across West Africa today.
Yes, Edoid people if counted together will likely to 4th in size in 9ja but we do not want to tell people how to identify themselves. We can throw light into history and create awareness. It's up to those people to identify. Some are already coming to identify with their roots on their own.

ThickSharon123:
Don't be angry boo, I'm sorry. That guy sounded so angry like he woke up from the wrong side of bed. Do you stay in Benin?

Is ok.
To the bolded, No.

wysay:
Actually, only the elite in europe knew latin, the general population didn't understand latin at all.
Actually it is a well known historical fact that in europe messes in churches were conducted in latin whereas the masses didn't understand latin, the priests used that lack of knowledge from the people to basically make them believe all kinds of rubbish and do all kinds of nonesense.
It is for this reason that there was a push in europe to translate the bible to the manguage of the common man: english, french...And that is what happened.

Fact is literacy level was low in Europe back then. Anybody with a decent level of education did Latin, even Greek to some extent. By 1500, literacy level in England in men was around 11% and much less in women.

ThickSharon123:
Excuse me, that was a mistake. Seriously, you got issues, you need to fix your mind. Jeez.

I believe this is Areafada's second handle. Stop being silly.... IPob gutter and Bini has what?

There's a lot of things about Bini, read the comments in this post and you'll see whats more about Bini. That even the Igbos or the real Igbos rebuke to have any association with.

Bini is nothing to the Igbos.

Sharon, I do not tolerate any nonsense. I have no need for two monikers. Only cowards or people who cannot be straight do so.

No tribe depends on another for food.

I for one support Igbo to be given a chance to do a referendum. Mind you, it was Zik who fought to remove referendum clause from Nigeria statute. Because back then, Igbo dominated civil service and were all over 9ja. Imagine that Zik's parents were already living in Zungeru, Niger State in 1904 when he was born.
If not for Zik, Nigeria would probably have broken up by now. 9ja is big for nothing, so I wonder what anybody has to drag.

Bendel left Western Region in 1963 when we felt that our voices were being tribalistically silenced. The only region democratically created in 9ja. So today I support referendum for people to decide where they want to go. Benin and Igbo will DEFINITELY not be in same country if that happens. We don't need each other.

wysay:
The language thing:

1) There are only 3 empires which managed to enforce a common language: french, british and russian. All other empires didn't manage to do that.

2) Without the existance of schools, it is impossible to impose a language on people, most of you guys don't seem to understand that the circumstances of today and those of the precolonial era are entirely different.

3) Even france didn't have a common language until around 400 years ago. And france had an alphabet !

4) to conlude with, you need two things to enforce a common language within a country (1) a school system (2) an alphabet. Our region of Africa had none of those two things, therefor it was impossible to enforce a language.

Although the language teaching part is correct, it depends on the aims of those colonising new lands. Egypt conquered new lands and they were literate but didn't expand that literacy or language to colonies. Romans on the other hand Spread their culture, lifestyle and language everywhere they went. St Paul in the Bible for example was a Romanised Jew.

Spain and Portugal also spread their language. Today Brazil speaks Portuguese and also Angola and Mozambique in Africa, many countries in Latin America speak Spanish. Agreed, many of the white colonists remained in these places. The Arabs took Arabic to Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Morocco, Mauritania and other parts of North Africa. These were not Arab lands before. They were on a religious and cultural conquest.

Benin didn't have a large population and so had no plans to disperse Benin people anyway.

As for France and common Language, that applied to many European countries. English was not standardised until about time of Shakespeare. Germany had many dialects too. Many spoke only their own dialect.

Remember that in Europe, Latin was a common language. Isaac Newton and contemporary scientists across Europe published their work
mostly in Latin to reach a wider audience.

ThickSharon123:
There's a documentary in YouTube one which someone commented when an Ika man said they are Igbos, but still have little influence of Bini. This person who commented, obviously an Ika man said, the Bini changed all the market name, courts and streets which had Igbo names to Bini names. I wanted to ask why was that? And the way he did converse it seemed it happened recently.

And I love how a gentleman you are in answering lightly. Thank you.

Thanks Sharon. But in which town or city did they change names from Igbo to Benin ones? Did the person cite examples of such changes?

ThickSharon123:
Benin's influence stopped in the Niger River not willing to push further, it knew if it caused more commotion by bringing it's conquering nonsense, then Benin would have been cleared out of history, by most Igbos in the east gearing up together to fight it. That's why the Oba of Bini knew his lane, he couldn't dare try it.

And how so we know if these Ika and Agbor people were colonized by the Bini? I believed they lived harmoniously with them, that's why there is no hcnage of culture or that sort and they still took the Igbo dialect. If you said they conquered then there would be a change of culture in all rounds.

Sharon, Benin is not really interested in anybody wanting to have been conquered or not conquered. But history recorded by Europeans who visited at the time is there for those interested to read. At least, if you write about Buhari regime today, it will be more authentic than someone using idea to guess and write it 300 or 500 years from now. Same applies to what was written those centuries ago.

You clearly do not understand Benin approach to conquest or expansion and I dare say world history and growth of different empires of old.

Benin never wanted extra "lebensraum". I kept saying this here on Nairaland. In fact the king used various means to stop Benin people from emigrating from the Benin to new colonies. Except soldiers, merchants and officials needed to run new areas. Remember that these officials became the ruling class of those lands. Examples are Oba of Lagos and his original chiefs like Obanikoro, Olu of Warri and the sons of 70 Benin chiefs that accompanied the first Ogiame (Olu) called Ginuwa (a son of Oba Olua of Benin) to Ewerre/Iwerre/Warri in 1480, etc. Iyase, Uwangue, Ologbosere, Ezomo/Ojomo and descendants of those 70 chiefs are still Warri senior chiefs today.

Some other Obis in Delta and beyond know their relationship with Benin. Dr Azikiwe narrated the origins of Ezechima (we have our Benin name for him) in his book. Surely, an Igbo person curious enough about history would have read Dr Zik's book by now. So are Ovies, Orodje, Otota and others in Delta.

Now, Benin always believe in exporting Benin system of administration and that was through the monarchical organisation with the king at the top, seniors chiefs around the king and dukes (usually princes) ruling the provinces. Oba of Benin as the King of Kings (emperor). Benin jealously guarded Benin culture otherwise. The language was for Benin people who, from my explanation above, were the elite of the new territories. A Benin proverb literally says "Let a Benin man speak Benin language and let an Ika man speak Ika. He who cannot speak his language is lost".

So Benin never wanted Benin language to be a commoner's language and certain cultural practices were to exclusively remain Benin practice. Some even considered scared to Benin people. Only the elite had that privilege. Of course, this practice is not the typical spreading of way of life far and wide like Arabs used religion.

Over time of course, from generation to generation, the Benin elite were vastly outnumbered as they married into local population and their children took the culture around them. Benin was not bothered by that. After all, every ruler in the colonies must be screened and approved by the Oba in Benin. Every new Oba has to confirm every siting ruler in the colonies and give them instrument of office. For example, in 1818, the Deji of Akure rebelled and made instrument of office for himself. Worse still, he murdered the emissary that brought him instrument of office from Benin. The Oba asked for his head and got his head sent to Benin.

Now to Agbor, it is heavily influenced by Benin. I know of at least 4 districts of Agbor town bearing Benin name. Benin words litter Ika language. Royal court practice in Agbor is massively Benin influenced. I have confirmed all these from Agbor people.

Sure, with the creation of Delta state, there is growing apart. IPOB, resurgence of Igbo nationalism and Biafra agitation means that more Igbo across the Niger feel the need to drum up the Igboness of Anioma people. Ultimately, Agbor and other Anioma people will decide if they want to join Ambazonia, Northern Nigeria, Niger Delta, Biafra or even Tigray people.

But that is all fine. We all have to move on.

illicit:
I grind the pills into powder then wash it down with water

They don't ever digest completely if taken whole

nairaland1981:
A candle looses nothing by lightening another candle.
This issues happen when you are the only light in your family.....

Remember to that lots of people within many families prefer to be given fish to eat daily. Give them a net, they won't go and lift or mend it until it is washed away. Sense of entitlement.

It is easy to say lift family members. How do you lift people who refused to be lifted? There are rich people whose extended family members want to come eat, party, not take education seriously and become leaches. When the "rich" relative has had enough and cuts them adrift, he is called stingy.

Sure, some rich people are not generous and do not help family members in need but that's few. Most do help until they get tired. I have seen many.

visijo:
facts from Twitter.

OK. I don't do twitter. Way too busy. I thought it's a journal publication link. Thanks anyway.

younglleo:
face of Nigeria indeed, person wey my sis fyn pass?

Wow! Really? Ehhhhhmmmm....... Lovely sis then.

visijo:
A study concludes that kids who snore do poorly in school.

Not surprising. They are most likely having their sleep interrupted as with heavy adult snorers due to sleep apnoea. They feel more tired at school and less able to concentrate. You cannot rule out higher potential risk of cardiovascular conditions as they grow older if not treated.

Please provide your link.

On top all the kata kata and jaga jaga wey dey ground for 9ja, pesin go come still add trans on top? Okokobioko!

LOL

This nor be pidgin na, Na Aje slang be dis.

hmmmmm

Highman1900:
But why is it that most Nollywood films always base on a rich price looking for wife to marry? Couldn't it be Boko Haram vs Nigeria Army...

FKK v Food nko?

ThickSharon123:
That's a lie from hell .... No true patriotic Igbos would do that, maybe is the self ehtinic Igbotic tribes in the south South. But as for the south east Igbo zones, we all want Biafra, and do you know why, dear?

We have the same idealogy for prosperity and equality and where these are in place in a nation the nation thrives.

Look at the United States, they had the same idealogy which made them prosperous.

BRiton likewise.
France
Germany
And all other countries.
But the Roman empire got destroyed becuase of several ethnic tribes in one conglomeration, so if we are still together with other tribes as you, we would still be going on the same cycle, which makes Africa backward.

Perhaps, when we are emotionally intelligent to let go of our egos, then we would be talking about being together in Africa, but in this state it can not happen and no Igbo has and would never claim to be in Nigeria.

I love Igbos .... without my mom being Igbo, I would never have been bold, beautiful and intelligent, this is the reason I adore and would fight for them any day.

I always wish people what they wish themselves. May you wishes come to reality.

ThickSharon123:
Now, they have the unity that you thought they didn't have what do you say about it?

My dear, where is the unity? Some kill fellow Igbos in the East, others meet Adeshina at Aso Rock and various Igbo autonomous communities trooping to Aso Rock for personal favours?

Staying at home for fear of being killed or business burnt down is not unity o.

Admittedly, unity is elusive almost throughout Nigeria.

A man's enemy is from his own household. Igbo, like other tribes has too many traitors within. If Igbo truly unite, they can achieve Aburi Accord as a reality.

Igbo marginalisation since Biafra war should have galvanised Igbo to press their case resolutely with one voice.

Here is the truth many Igbo privately admit. Igbos cannot do without Nigeria. They admit that they have spread too much across 9ja and invested too much across 9ja to breakaway. Igbo land has too little "Lebensraum" to around 10 to 15 million or more Igbo outside of SE.

Breakaway Biafra and peaceful continued Igbo spread throughout 9ja is not possible. At least not short to medium term.

ThickSharon123:
Now, they have the unity that you thought they didn't have what do you say about it?

My dear, where is the unity? Some kill fellow Igbos in the East, others meet Adeshina at Aso Rock?

Staying at home for fear of being killed or business burnt down is not unity o.

Admittedly, unity is elusive almost throughout Nigeria.

A man's enemy is from his own household. Igbo, like other tribes has too many traitors within. If Igbo truly unite, they can achieve Aburi Accord as a reality.

Igbo marginalisation since Biafra war should have galvanised Igbo to press their case resolutely with one voice.

Here is the truth many Igbo privately admit. Igbos cannot do without Nigeria. They admit that they have spread too much across 9ja and invested too much across 9ja to breakaway. Igbo land has too little "Lebensraum" to around 10 to 15 million or more Igbo outside of SE.

Breakaway Biafra and peaceful continued Igbo spread throughout 9ja is not possible. At least not short to medium term.

mr1759:
It was Oba Adolor the father of Oba ovoramwen the deposed Edo king

Dude, we should be careful what we post online. The OP was seriously wrong. Oba Adolo reigned from 1848 to 1888.
Oba Osemwende (1816-1848) was father of Oba Adolo.

The first real action of Oba Osemwende was the punitive action against Akure for rebellion in 1818.

Oba Ogbebo reigned in 1816 only and before him from 1804-1816 Oba Obanosa reigned. Only Oba Obanosa or Oba Akengbuda (1750 -1804) would have realistically possibly have had to repel Dan Fodio's jihadists considering that Fodio died in 1817.

Fodio wasn't even personally fighting in the last years of his life, if I remember his history correctly. Oba Ozolua historically had to repel Idah people from invading what is today called Edo North and Oba Esigie after him.

Chigold101:
When someone who has never seen a family problem speak...
You must know.

You are correct. You clearly haven't seen any. Check my posts here since 2011.

I have repeatedly mentioned how a wealthy relative's 3 kids were not his and how he died not long after finding out. How relocating the kids abroad was the reason why he found out. A good man died because it was too shameful for him to tell his family and friends. He bore the pain alone as he kicked the woman out. He still felt he at least need to protect the dignity of those children. Everyone was blaming him for kicking her out for no reason. He bore the pain.

Just check my posts.

It would have been far better for him to have known earlier than find out the way he did.

Therefore, I have a personal reason to particularly hate those who give other people's kids to their hubby at home.

Any woman who cannot control her pussy should go and take a curtain as a harlot. They have no business married.

Thank you.

Chigold101:
Ị nụ kwa

Who is talking about paternity test here.
Some of these men know things but for Peace to reign, they overlook.
Them some, because they are guilty they overlook also.

Reverse psychology.

Only a very foolish and guilty idiot man will do so.

But as it is, let the father know. One cannot assume that he already knows.

Xhuntra:
He was the chancellor when I schooled there

It is a big family. Not all people bearing that name are the departed Oba's children. His nephews also bear that name.

Not saying that any prince or indeed anyone doing fraud is ok.

Chigold101:
What if your Dad knows more than you think?

Think about it

Let the dad confirm his suspicion. Dads may suspect but won't really know. How many dads of 76 do paternity test just for fun? When did paternity test even become more popular and affordable?

Hassanmaye:
Lol that's why we keep on saying that gender nairaland think we are misogynist

The way most women are saying oversabi, let the sleeping dog lie, shows that many are not sure of themselves.

At least many are unsure of their firstborn.

What they forget is that the more they condemn paternity test, the more they make men suspicious.

Kai!