The man is trying to bring you closer ,be warned.quote author=Islandlady post=112165402]Good morning Nairalanders! Have got this pressing issue, I need your advise on.
There is this business friend to my dad, who is in his early forties, he once asked me out for a relationship but I declined because he his married with two lovely children
So I have been on vacation from my job for some weeks now, so I decided to spend time in my family house so three days ago he brought this job offer to me that I should be his new secretary since his old secretary have relocated abroad, I told him I will get back to him
Pls guys I am just confused and scared, I mean this man once asked me out and me being his secretary means we will be close to each other, I don't want any case of rape or sexual assault from him
Plus his new job salary is almost ×2 of my present job salary!
Could his intentions be pure or could it be that I am overreacting or reading too much meaning to this
Should I accept the job offer from him or not! Pls I need your critical advise
FalseProphet1: Send the nudes privately to my email and I will offer prayers on it, and it will disappear permanently from his phone, and you will be safe.
Your in laws are not helping the matter , give her space and watch her running back to you it's like she doesn't know what people are facing outside there ; she will definitely regret her action.
[Honestly l sympathise with you , l can understand your feelings but the deed has been done ,just go back to her and beg her ,you don' t have to go with anyone pull yourself together and if ir means lying on the floor when you get there do it let her see the sincerity in your action and l know she will forgive you.quote author=Moz22 post=111307732]Actually typing this with a heavy heart and so much disgust for what I've done.. wish I had handled the situation better.
My father is the best man I could ever wish for and if I had another chance to pick a dad again in my next life, I'll pick a richer version of him but my mom?? Sigh!
However growing up with them was so stressful in every way u can think of.. my dad was the meek type, soft spoken and slow to react but my mom would always complain about everything, she fights everything and everyone.. never afraid of any form of confrontation, she would complain about my hairstyle, she would check if I sagged my trousers.. she monitored me extremely and always nagged about it.. I'm this typa guy who is well cultured, I wouldn't say I got that from home training tho cos I do not drink, smoke nor womanize... And I think it's d joy of every parent to have child like me, I basically had no friends visiting me then and even up till now. I've got trust issues that's why I don't keep friends.. my mom made my youthful days hell for me, I didn't really enjoy it.. times I spent with her were miserable as she would shout everyday, quarrel even over phone conversations that you would think the person she's fighting with was right in front of her.. and some times I even pity my dad whenever she starts with him. I developed some sorta hatred for her
Lately I've been spending more time with them cos of our last born just so I could keep an eye on him and we stayed close too.. and the way she treats him makes me wonder if she was the one gave birth to him, if I was away when she was pregnant for him and delivered.. I would have argued that she was his mother. There were times that I had to pass the night there and her voice or rants would be what will wake me up very early in the morning just as it used to be when I used to be there...
I used to think that as people grow old, they become calmer but that isn't the case with my mom, she's more violent... She lost her twin sis last year March and I sincerely hoped that would change atleast but iro nio... Her other sisters aren't even speaking to her at the moment. My dad was a musician.. old age won't allow him continue doing music, coincidentally I picked up that barton.. been doing the same music(live musician) all my life but my mom has always been against it.. she was never happy whenever I carry my dad's guitar to rehearse or whenever I bring a piano home.. it was always war...
Been there since last weekend cos of the poor electricity in my area.. we have had power for about 7 days now.. Had gone for a studio session, only to return in d evening and I was greeted with shouting over a very trivial issue, I was so angry that I responded to every of her verbal insults.. and then she hit me and I reciprocated which I felt so bad about almost immediately.. she dragged me by my clothes shouting that I must kill her again, by that time.. my anger had subdued and all I had on my mind was to leave the house immediately. She threatened to arrest me.. She tore my shirt and I managed to pull away from her.. and left without picking my stuffs. All my life, I have never raised up my hands to hit a woman talkless of my mom.. I don't even beat kids when they do wrong, I hate to see tears..
I know it's a disgraceful thing to do. I've got no excuse for what I've done whatsoever. I even avoid confrontations with my own gender sef cos I know what I'm capable of. I'm always quick to say the word sorry just to avoid prolonged issues. I had been offline since it happened, just came here to drop this and I know how much insults I'm gonna get here anyway but we learn everyday and will surely pick the ones that will make me a better person.. no one's perfect
Graceihotu: My question is "what do guys really want" I am not saying I am perfect but I know I am surely the best girlfriend any guy could ever think of yet I am still experiencing heartbreak at 31���
Had issues with my boyfriend since last year April bkos of a particular girl he posted on Facebook addressing her as the mother of his house. I became angry and told him I was only going to continue the relationship if I spoke to the lady in question bkos same lady posted him too calling him her first love.
He told me the lady was his cousin sister and ofcourse I believed him bkos she bares same surname with his cousin brother whoose wedding we attended together, He addressed me as his wife to be throughout the occasion so I had everything to believe in him
Just five days ago I saw his wedding notification on Facebook with that same lady. My heart has never been this broken B4 in my life. I have cried out my soul to the extent that I barely see clearly this days. I tried not to cry but I just can't. I am seriously weeping as I am typing this.
I have tried to encourage myself but I just can't stop crying and WAILING.
Who have I ever offended and what exactly do guys want?
I have searched all through the 5 yrs of relationship and aswear with my life that I never stressed him but I only requested Love not Money from him
My heart is bleeding. I only sent him his pre-wedding pics and congratulated him then he replied "thanks''
He feels I don't deserve an explanation �����
shit happens my sister ,wash your face and move on with your life ,you deserve better than crying your eyes out.
Please I need advise from people with grown up kids.
Honestly, parenting is not easy. I don't even know what to do anymore.
My first son is 7 but he is kind of slow. However, he's above average in learning and he's learning at his pace. I understand all of this and I'm always happy to guide him.
But I don't know if I'm too hard or too soft on him because I use to talk to him a lot. I only beat him when he does something serious (like going against my rules, or not doing his homework when he should).
These days, whenever I scold him, he would give me a sad look and he might even shout saying: "I've heard you!" Then, he will be alone in a corner for some time.
Sometimes, I'd go close to him and tell him why I had to scold him and he'd say "I don't like it when you shout at me" I'd apologize and hug him (I don't even know if I'm spoiling him by apologizing). .
I don't know how to scold without putting a bit of action at least. Shey I'll be whispering and scolding ni? Sometimes, I'll leave him and pretend as if I didn't see him when he brings up such attitude.
Last week, he mistakenly brought back someone else's lunch box home because they look very much alike. I told him it's okay that it happens and I promised to write his name in bold when he brings back his box the next day to prevent such from happening again.
Could you believe that he came back with the other person's lunch box again? When I asked him, he said he didn't see his lunch box and the boy that took his own. Then I asked: Did you tell your class teacher? Are you sure you know the boy?
His reply: I didn't tell my teacher because I know the boy and I went to his class but he wasn't there.
So, I figured that he must have gone to check once and didn't bother to check again. And he didn't bother to also tell his class teacher.
So, I was very mad this time and told him not to bring someone else's property home again, no matter what!
I think he would have told his teacher if he really valued his property because he told me something that made me really mad the next morning.
"Mummy, or will you buy me another lunch box since we can't find mine?" Luckily for me, he was brushing his teeth then and I was bathing for his sister. The resounding slap I gave him on his back brought back his senses.
I don't know why he always want something new. He spoilt the lunch box I bought for him and his sister o and he's using another one now. That is, he wants me to buy a third one while his sister is still using the first one? How na?
I don't even know what to think. Why would he want a new box when he's barely used the new one?
Then, he's always talking about how his classmates use to bring different kinds of food ( he wasn't like this before o).
I try as much as possible to make different foods for him too, and he's stopped complaining.
We recently changed his school and his new school has quite a lot of pupils. I Don't know if that's affecting him.
Honestly, I'm bothered about the changes and I don't know how best to address it.
I've made him understand countless times that he should always be content with whatever he has and he shouldn't compare himself with anyone.
I just finished with another round of lecture now and he has tears in his eyes saying:
"Mummy, stop shouting at me. It makes me sad"
I was heartbroken and felt guilty seeing him like this and I did everything possible to make him see why I had to shout or scold.
Please how can I scold a child without shouting? Am I spoiling him? Can someone help with tips? Honestly, I'm tired!
you are not spoiling him at all but you need to make him understand that whatever you are able to provide is what he should make use of ,rebuke him when he destroy anything and make sure you don't buy another lunch bag for him ,follow him to school or sendvmessage
BluntTheApostle: A few weeks back, my niece brought a man to me and introduced him as the one she wishes to marry.
Her father died while she was about 15, and I have been the one taking care of her, through school and all. So, she sees me as her father.
Alright, so she brought this young man to me. I have nothing against him. He is finishing up a master's degree, and even though he is not into anything really specific (he is a hustler sort of a person, combining different jobs), I do not have a problem with that. He appears focused, and really hardworking.
However, the problem is that he does not have a place of his own, and does not appear to have any plans in that direction.
So, last week, I asked him a whole lot of questions, and it appears like he would be marrying my baby, and she would live with him in their family house. Other families living there include the man's aged parents, some uncles and aunties, and their children. He was not specific whether aunties or uncles included blood relations and their spouses. I didn't press him on that.
Now, I have also sat my niece down, and had a chat with her. She is only 20+ (would be 21 in June). I tried to be as neutral as possible, but I may have been too blunt sometimes because she has been defensive, including accusing me of not wanting to fund the wedding.
Her mother reasons with me, but the girl has become deaf. She doesn't want to listen.
My point is that the wedding can be put on hold till the young man makes a firm decision on accommodation. All this: "I will consider it; I am considering it; it is a part of my plan" is not conclusive at all, and I don't want her to go and start her married life under the same roof with so many people.
The man is 30 (although he looks older to me), and I am beginning to feel that he is manipulating her.
What do you think?
Which of you has experienced living in your husband's family house? How was the experience?
For me, I think of it just like living in a polygamous family, and it makes me uneasy because this girl is too young, and too fragile.
Your opinions and experiences are highly welcome. The man should look for a house even if it is one room ,it is better than starting his family in his family house ,the experience is not going to be palatable.
It may be all that I would need to reach a decision concerning this knotty issue.
Do you know how many PhD, Msc, Bsc, HND holders are in the military, Police and other Paramilitary agencies The promotion process of recruit's is spelled out, regardless of your what degree get after joining.
probably people don't know that immediately you agreed to join police with secondary school as a recruit you can not be converted to an officer it is clearly stated in their form.
Nedangel: So this girl ( 15 years) was brought to my house by my wife after my wife gave birth a year after. My wife said she really needs someone to help her, but I kicked against it. After much pestering from my wife, I agreed.
I sooo much have feelings for this girl. I have fought it so much. Some times my wife is out/ travels and am alone with her and kid when am back from work. But this strong feeling comes up and I feel like having her. Most times I find my self thinking about this girl. It's to the point that my chest pains me.. When I ask my wife for s*x, Most times & always she says she's tired.
Please it's really affecting me, it's eating me up. I need suggestions/ advice from my well meaning Nairalanders. Thanks allot.[/quote[quote author=asto70 post=110196238]
Nedangel: So this girl ( 15 years) was brought to my house by my wife after my wife gave birth a year after. My wife said she really needs someone to help her, but I kicked against it. After much pestering from my wife, I agreed.
I sooo much have feelings for this girl. I have fought it so much. Some times my wife is out/ travels and am alone with her and kid when am back from work. But this strong feeling comes up and I feel like having her. Most times I find my self thinking about this girl. It's to the point that my chest pains me.. When I ask my wife for s*x, Most times & always she says she's tired.
Please it's really affecting me, it's eating me up. I need suggestions/ advice from my well meaning Nairalanders. Thanks allot.
Metrixnews: The students of National Broadcast Academy (NBA), journalism department on Friday celebrated the emergence of the first female governor general of the school from the department, Miss Ifeoluwa Olofin 62 years after the establishment of the school amid fanfare.
Speaking with ABN TV on Friday, a student of Journalism department of the Academy, Otunba Tajudeen Abbas said the emergence of Ifeoluwa Olofin who is also the governor of Journalism department of the Academy is worth celebrating, saying it is an indication that the school is looking beyond gender.
He stated that the emergence of the first female governor general from Journalism department in the school over six decades after establishment is a clear testimony to the democratic values that has been the hallmark of the institution.
Describing the Journalism department of the school as cohesive, Abbas attributed the cohesiveness of the department to the leadership acumen of the Head of Department.
I moved into this new area on Lagos Mainland some couple of months ago. However, I just noticed that my middle-aged neigbour in the next building has a penchant for stripping his quite voluptuous, 16-year-old teenage daughter naked in order to punish her whenever she offends him.
I made some enquiries from my other neighbours and I learnt that he has been engaging in this "ritual" for the past 2 years. He sends his wife - the girl's mum and his 2 other children - boys - out of the room, strips his daughter naked and starts whipping her until he is satisfied. I was shocked when I further learnt that the mother had never protested or raised an eyebrow against her husband's weird ritual, but she would rather walk out of the house quietly until whenever the husband was done with their daughter.
I want to enquire if there is any NGO that can take up such case in Lagos and environs, if reported or, better still, if there is any alternative solution to this seemingly case of perversion.
The man must be a pervert, he enjoys seeing the girl's unclothedness and the only way he can achieve this is by doing what you saw him doing.
Destroyerofyeeb: Ehh, God epp us oo. Even togo wey be say na housemaid be their career and profession for Nigeria sef get mind to attack Nigerians? Ahh naija has fallen.
I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.
I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.
I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.
I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.
I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.
The first thing is to forgive yourself and move on . Suicide should not cross your mind at all or who are you going to leave your kids with because with the look of things your husband will not want to have anything to do with them so please think about these innocent children and move on with your life the best you can do is what you have done which is confession. Life continue no matter what happens.
247naijamedia: Following the creation of four new emirates by Kano State Governor, Abdullahi Ganduje, the Emir of Kano's daughter, took to Instagram to bare her mind.
In the post which has, though been taken down but reposted by her sister, Princess Fulani Siddika, Shahida described Governor Ganduje as "Kano's worst curse"
In yet another post, Shahida wrote "The moment a king decides to restrict himself for fear of losing power, he dethrones himself..."
Obviously in agreement with the whole post, Fulani Sidikka, wrote:
"I don't have anything more to say actually! My sister said it all"
Jessyjack: stupid mother! why not take your kids and leave with you instead of living them with wicked relations.... tomorrow when they make it in life and refuse to be associated with her, people will begin to tell them "mama na mama o".....
It's most likely their father didn't allow the woman go with the kids.
technicallyrich: Whats bueatiful about her.ok because she is oruba and you want to start ibadan thing. She is guity and ugly,let them kill her and bury her their. We dont need criminals and drug dealers in these country. We already have enough issue. If you can do the crime,be prepared to do the time. Tramadol girl.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Should I Accept The Job Offer From Him Or Not? Pls Help! by asto70: 5:11pm On Apr 22, 2022 
The promotion process of recruit's is spelled out, regardless of your what degree get after joining.