₦airaland Forum

baby4u2:
so @ayomifull what are u suggesting she does? forget him and move on to another man? These things don't just work the way you imagine, its an emotional attachment. She is bound by marriage to that guy and until he is dead (abeg don't attack me na the Bible wey i dey read talk am) can she move on. If she believes he will still come back she can continue fasting and praying. If she can move on and do things on her own fine. At the end of the day its still painful.

You are right its just that you get pissed up at some people for causing undue pain to another. She is such a gently sister and the most reserved, its not funny but i'm sure she is a virgin again now. I wouldnt have bothered if its a different person but she is too good to be going through this kind of stress.

Generally in Nigeria its the woman

My dear colleaque i understand you because i have the same issue with my husband and i know how it hurts. Some guys are just carefree about being taken advantage of as long as they are satisfied they are rendering help. Some people are like that they will cross the occean for friends/families who cant even cross a bridge for them. Its really sad but unfurtunately i dont know what advise to give because i need one myself. Its only better now that we are a bit far from each other, when we were together we disagree about it every time until i realised this guy is just like that. Even when a friend let him down today he is still helping another friend the same day. He doesnt just run errands at his free time he also spends him money and some of these guys are so stingy and take advantage of his generous nature. Imagine some years ago he was to travel to S/A on holiday with his friend who (i believe) lied to him he was broke at the time and he had to borrow him money which was never paid until today and when this same friend's wife wanted to go have her baby in London he still gave her some money, (d boy is good = apa) the guy has NEVER for once given me a dime.

Take it easy friend, talk to him but dont let that come between you, if you find out its in his blood and cant be flushed out leave him to himself and pray for him, who knows God may pay him back in other ways like my husband will say.

My sister met her husband 10 years ago, he was her first boyfriend and they were 2 lovebirds, a year after they met he proposed to her and she accepted, everyone was happy for her because she was the quiet, morally upright and, gentle and serious type. There was an engagement ceremony with family members of the two of them in attendance. The engagement was to be preceded by church/registry wedding but then the guy had other plan. He wanted to travel out and he didn't want them to waste money for this, he talked her into consenting with promises that he will send for her as soon as he was settled. she consented after talking upon talking and she got pregnant, he left the country shortly.

He was really great, helpful, lovely and generous the first few years and attempted once to get her in but it didn't work out. After a while things changed; no more phone calls, no more money transfer etc, i remember her crying like a baby always saying this wasn't their agreement. All efforts to get him failed, even his mum who was once loving started avoiding her. She was able to get his new no from his cousin who was not happy with the wayshe was treated and she called only to hear what no one ever wished for 'i have no wife'. We called and called and called all to no avail, years after years and at a time i gave up and advised her to forget him, that sounded like too cruel to her. She claimed it's practically impossible for her to, the child she gave birth to is now 9 and she is still waiting for a miracle that will bring him back to her.

Do you think this is wise? A whole 9 years and this guy still insist he has no wife at least not in Nigeria, she could not just imagine having any relationship she kept praying, fasting, hoping and trusting God that he will call back for her. I have tried my best to make her forget him but the last time i was home she is still waiting.

8ball:
I guess the problems in Naija has been overtly blown out of proportion.I guess the way we're being seen by the international community has more than played a significant role to this end.In any case,the truth of the fact is that as long as u maintain the basic safety rules,u'r very much safe.Just that the utter dearth of many social basic ammenities in the country makes it an unattractive destination for naijas abroad but HOME as they say is HOME.forget the media hype,we're not as bad we've painted to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

naiaralanders abi i no talk una mind?
Could s/one rise up to my defence there?

U are right it has been overblown out of proportion and its really sad. I was to participate in a programme called 'No place like home' where i would be interviewed right here in my house and office and then the crew will go to Nigeria to meet my family and friends, interview them etc and it would be featured on a National TV here. We had everything planned out, all paperworks done and all that only for me to be given one funny excuse why it could no longer be possible at the time (last year), after a while a colleague whose friend happens to be part of the crew secretly told me they heard that all whites were being kidnapped in Nigeria. Can you imagine! as if i didn't tell them the family and friends they were to meet stays in Lagos and Oguns state not Niger Delta. The fear of kidnapping is now the beginning of wisdom, not just in the East but now everywhere in Nigeria. Pity.

Ask google.

How do you mean 'have your kids' a lil bit of more info will be helpful in responding.

So why will this person not be happy to have renounced her Nigerian citizenship? If the child is a Briton or an American it would have been in all TV stations in Nigeria. Who will not gladly accept citizenship of a country who treats one like a real human and responds to one's aid when needed. Well, i love my Nigerian citizenship sha and hopefully things will turn around for good. Its important to pray everyday not to have (emergency) reason to need Nigeria Govt's assistance because they are not ready to offer any too busy sharing their loot. Was it not announced recently that some Nigerians were left in a desert somewhere? I am sure they would read the news and jist over it while thinking of how to 'import' their stolen money, imagine what would have happened to that desert if the news was that 'an American/Briton dropped and left in a desert'

I pray you find your child by the grace of God.

I was not opportuned to work in a big company while back home but i have that opportunity here. The two companies i have worked with both have excellent and regular social activities (summer parties, free drink evenings, family day, valentine parties, time out horse racing etc). I was just wondering if this is the case in Nigeria/other countries. Is there really regular social activities apart from the usual christmas party? No hard feelings, no arguement, just want to see what social activity is like in companies/countries and if this has any positive/negative effect on us.

Pray this is not true, how, for crying out loud, is health care supposed to be based on one ability to pay tax and even in emergency? What govt do we have in Nigeria for Christ's sake? I just hope this is not true.

under the rock

Abeolumo ilu egba, baawa.

Dede eyin egba ni'le ati dede eyin egba l'oko mo kiyin o, ile a dera fun dedee wa o, awa yi de wa l'ajo a ko ni gbe sajo o, aa de ko ere oke dele o, won ko nii fi oku wa ranse sile o, baase wa si ilu oyinbo re amaa fi esee wa rin pada sile pelu ere lopolopo o. k'Olorun peluu gbogbo wa libikibi yi aba wa o.

tarezulu:
Dear victorian,
sorry about your loss, but i think you got it all wrong. You placed too much hope on your pastor but i would think that the purpose of the church is to worship.
I wont be surprised if you get the same treatment from another church except you change that idea.
A church is a place of worship, do not put any other thing inpreference to that, even your pastor. That way the Almighty will always have someone to aid you even when you least expect it because he becomes your number one then.
Take care and never begrudge anyone because it will certainly come back to you.
Cheers

No this is not true, if church is only meant to be a place to sing and dance and everyone goes his/her way why then why will the church preach that one should not be unequally yoked with the unbelievers? Christians should show love and compassion to one another, i can imagine how painful it can be to be turned down by your church when you need them especially when one is bereaved. The bible says rejoice with those that rejoice and mourn with those who do. I bet this guy is not one of those guys who goes to church in big cars and pays heavy tithes and offering, it would have been a different thing. You want to tell me if the govr of the state invites them to bury his mother during their anniversary they will not find time to honour him. That's what churches has become these days, the name 'christian' came about when people saw the way Christ followers behaved and they refered to them as christaians, they did things in common and bore each another's burden. May God console you, do not allow any church to make you bear grudge, let them know you felt let down by them and if you want to move to another church do it prayerfully and look only unto Christ.

meaning, no woman no cry!

landis:
what I expect is all Nigerian TV-station going to these places and do documentary films.

This is something that should be financed by FG/State/LG.

They should show such documentary films everywhere, all the time, every time; where youth are gathered.

>>Hosea 4.6: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

Nigerians are so dummy.

They read the bible, pray all day and yet cannot apply same bible to benefit their lives.

Supported!

mellow:
It is that bad my brother. It is that bad.

No! life is more precious. Those who embarked on that journey paid heavily for it, if its that bad they could not have been able to pay whatever amount they paid. If i paid someone to take me overseas and instead of heading to the airport we are heading towards the occean, i definitely would back out. Haba! in this day and age people should know better. I feel sorry for their families and i hope this will deter others from embarking on this deadly trip.

For Christ sake when will people learn? This is really sad and it occurs every now and then. Why will people not just fly abroad or stay in Nigeria for crying out loud? Is the situation in Nigeria really so bad to warrant this kind of avoidable death? Hope news like these will teach others planning this kind of journey to desist.

By IKE NNAMDI, The Sun Reporter, New York
Tuesday, July 8, 2008

60 Nigerian illegal immigrants die off the coast of Spain

Dozens of Nigerians are reported dead and several others missing after their boat capsized while attempting to enter into Spain illegally. Spanish officials who said the dead included two pregnant women said the mishap occured after their boats ran into rough waters off Spain’s southern coast. According to maritime authorities, the boat was carrying over 100 Nigerian migrants when it overturned off the town of Motril.

About 23 migrants were rescued while the search for the bodies of those who died has begun. The boat was one of several carrying Nigerians attempting the dangerous trip to Europe via Spain. The authorities said they are searching for other boats, but warned that the death toll could be higher.

"Our Navy intercepted several boats, the fate of the occupants are uncertain, but this are dangerous waters and they may have drowned", a Spanish official said.

Sources said the desperate Nigerian paid several thousands of dollars to syndicates which promised them entry to Spain, but ended up packing them into leaky boats for the dangerous trip. Thousands of Africans attempt to reach Spain's canary Islands every year, but most drown during the trip. "The Nigerian government should take steps to prevent its citizens from making this dangerous trip as the likely consequence could be death", Spanish officials said.

landis:
This is a Germans way of deporting you back to your country.

this is really funny but i think its true o

the 2 busy bodies should appear in court immediately for ruling on this matter, its a serious matter o, copywrite violation and busybody20 remember to come with your copyright cert o

I think some people want to go to UK or any other country for that matter for various reasons depending on individual circumstances. A completely hopeless person in Nigeria wants to jet out just to make ends meet, some wants the quality of life obtainable there (now dont ask me if its available or not), some got tired of living in Nigeria, some wants to obtain overseas degree, some wants to make money and considers abroad a place where its freely given, some just want to live abroad for the sake of it

yeh that was good you actually made me laugh

I really don't know what is obtainable now but when i applied for and got my UK visiting visa in 2003 i submitted a savings account. Hope those who applied recently will be able to answer much better

Congrats bro, i'm making same arrngement for my life wire to join us here, i hope to come back here like you to give positive result. Welcome aboard and congrats once again. On a lighter note, i hope u're not gonna have another 5 kids in 5 years with this weather o lol

candy:
You are interested in the proposed trip to Europe, you prefer Asia. Which one you dey? Plus. . . shine your eyes, jobs are darn scarce in Asia! Well, unless you want to do illegal runs.

I'm sure the guy was only messing lol

Why is she so interested in Nigerian passport if she can obtain visa to Nigeria? Will getting a Nigerian passport change her colour or does she think she will be treated in any special way if she holds one? Will that stop her from being kidnapped by those guys if she is so unfurtunate to 'miswalk'. I beg let her relax and get Nigerian visa anytime she is travelling to her husband's country.

Radiant:
The height of negligence in Nigeria is so painful.These leaders don't actually have to do all they do. It's just greed and negligence.The poor are dying everyday and hell, no one cares.Yet, suppressing the pain with false promises

Really sad my sister but i had to stop worrying so i dont develop unneccesary headache. Gun knife every time in UK now, other vices in other countries, thinking of going back to motherland but then thinking off all these again, one is confused, really.

Dear sister, the very good thing about this is that you are still able to see it as sin, lots of people don't and i commend you for that. Its not easy to stop this thing once you start to be sincere.
The bibel says we should resist the devil but of fornication its says flee, this is to tell you that the only way to avoid falling into this sin is by fleeing not by trying to resist it, we are human and the flesh is weak in cases like this.
My dear God has not condemn you and stop listening to you because you fell into sin, and that you feel condemned is a sign that you still fear and respect God.
my advise it flee, don't break up with him this is not a solution at all, what tells you that it wont happen with the next brother? Try not to stay together alone is places you can easily have sex, make up your mind to stop doing it and see it as a stain on your relationship with God. Meet in open places (although this may not really work all the time), anytime you are together sing it in your heart that you will not disobey God, pray for God to help you as well and just try to flee. i don't know what else to say.

[quote author= link=topic=147407.msg2455759#msg2455759 date=1215096075]What i am therefore saying to you is that if Christianity does not help you, its time to think and quickly grab on to Islam. I can assure you that you will be able to control your libido, through the support you will have from your muslim sisters. I wish you well and God guidance in your quest for success and emotional and spiritual happiness.[/quote]Islam helps people to control their libido? LMAO, this must be the joke of the century. Some people are better off staying on religious section.

wifepalavalover

Have u ever heard of 'love alone is not enough'? so also having a child together alone is not enough. I understand and commend you for taking her in just to have your child brought up by the 2 parents and probably so you could have all your kids from same mother but dont you think this alone is not enough for a succeful marriage? I understand your pain and what you are going through, people condeming you here has probably never seen a hell of a home in the hands of a nagging spouse, belive me i have seen it, it could be a worst disaster, my sister endured a nagging husband and was determined to make her marriage work but when she almost lost her sanity to this nagging she had to quit after 10 years and 3 kids.

You made the mistake of marrying someone who is completely illiterate who you probably knew little about, that's why i discourage guys from going out with a girl they can never consider for marriage in the first place because one thing can lead to another, in most cases it doesnt work. Imaging nagging about dancing with a female colleaque!, talking about inferiority complex. If she is educated she would sure know its no big deal and of course she would have colleaques too. Anyone can make the kind of mistake you made about going to an ex, we are all human and could be pushed to do things we ordinarily never intend to do.

My advise is try to see if you can bring her up to speed, try enroling her in a school, show her more love, talk to her about her attitude and how its affecting you, try all you can to make her change. If you are already married to each other i will say carry your cross, u are only taking responsibility for your action but if you ar not married yet, try all these and if things still dont work out, you both better go your separate ways to avoid putting each other in trouble, Nothing could be worst that living in a home where you want to cry when on your way home and you are happy to jump out in the morning.

I still dont understand, are u saying members still belong to their various religions? do they have same teaching as churches? do they read bible for their worship, why hold their meeting/worship behind closed door and non members are not allowed in? If its not a religion and members still attend their various churches then what exactly is it?

Emperoh:
But who want go arrest Armed Robber wey carry AK47

lol. even if the armed robber has a toy gun who want to try that?

The problem with this is you who is legally and rightly arresting someone may end up being the victim, i am sure the real criminals would not be arrested by anyone who still values his life., so this will end up being for trivial issue like someone snatch my boyfriend/girlfriend, someone is sleeping with my husband/wife lol

OMG! Cant stop laughing, u ar funny man.

I do have a friend, a very wonderful sincere and easy going young man, i was shocked when he told me he is a grail messanger because i could never imagine it. I asked him to tell me about the message but was not very clear and comfortable with the things he told me, sound somehow occultic to me although this is a very nice, kind, friendly and great guy.
Now it interesting that this is here, i wold like to know why this group does not just allow anyone to come to their meeting and the members has to wear a particulat cros sign to get in. What exactly is it with this ppl, why will they close the door and anyone that comes in late is not allowed in, why do they not perform marriage in their meeting. Almost all he told me about them to me is questionable. If anyone knows much about them can you explain better please?