₦airaland Forum

vickydankal:
Past few days has been funny, regarding age, financial stability and economic state a man must attain before talking marriage.

Let me tell a bit of myself. .....

I met my husband in his final year he promised me marriage after a year of service, his salary then was 10k, yes 10k. He proposed and engaged me in his mum's face me I slap you house. My family rejected him at first, because of his dressing, financial status and his house. No much property.

I saw a future with him we will build together, I saw myself as part of his vision builder. I knew my calling was to help him achieve his goals and vision thereby achieving mine.

It took 5 years of struggle, pains, mockery and frustration. But we remained together. Today to the glory of God there's a change of story. We literally feed and pay salary to many of our mockers then .

From mine experience, a good and faith woman has God given discernment to know men with future and also to know if they belong there.

30k is not too small to begin life, though many things must be taken into account. When to begin child birth, number of children, type of housing, property, savings, side hustles etc with wisdom, love, understanding and God's grace backing your efforts you will succeed just a matter of time., that's if you overcome association of village people on time. It is because of excess comfort on the side of the men before marriage that's why many men take their wives as part of their properties.

I have joint account with my husband, most of our major properties are written in both of our names. I have a say in the home, I have earned my dignity and respect. Through thick and thin, so no man can shuush me down. I paid the price in full.

I'm not saying we have achieved everything in my own marriage, I'm saying, if you see a man God fearing, with the qualities you want and with a vision that can house your own vision as a lady, it is not a bad idea. But be ready to be insulted, mocked by family and friends. Let down your guild and roll up your sleeves and work. Forget slay mama and slay queen did later in life. Pay the price...

Too much expectations has kept many unmarried for years. It is not too good to leave all the financial burdens of the home to the man. He is not God, if you are his help meet come low and help him and not expect range rover every birth day.
The amount of salary shouldn't be the only determinant factor. Leadership, management, self control and goals acccessment should be vital on both man and his wife.

you are a wise woman. Your husband is fortunate.

Lol. What are the chances you'd win this battle? How deep is your pocket? She loves you but how much? Are you are her first love?

You stood on the losing side the moment you gave her permission to go on a date with her childhood crush. Sorry man.

There is hope though. The fact that she told you about it means she wants you to try to convince to stay. You know her better than us, all the best.

If you fail to keep her, don't take it hard on yourself. Women are hypergamous by nature, they would likely leave for whoever they think is the best amongst her options. No kill yourself put, there would be other women.

alphaNomega:
When this is over, the man who brought a handgun to church should go for psychiatric evaluation. He might be the next shooter

didn't you read the part where several other church member brought out their guns and aimed at the gun man? Moving about with guns is not really a big deal in the US, unless you are black (then policemen would shoot you on sight).

ThierryJay:
I'm rather surprised. Is this really you?? I had expected the usual vitriolic response from you before I read your surprisingly moderated comment.

even a broken clock is correct twice a day.

FrLukas:
Truth is, it's mostly the father that can teach that to their sons. Because children learn from what you do and not what you say.

Watching their fathers treat their mothers right will make it stick longer.

it's the responsibility of both parents.

LadySarah:
but if it was the man that got sick,the wife will take care of him.
Me i'd say do what you want.

not really. Some women also jump ship when the chips are down and disappear with another man. Some men also stick with their wives with debilitating illnesses.

NORSYK:
Lol where did I mention the second best player right now(Messi) name's?

we know every, bros. Even Twitter has a GOAT emoji that is automatically attached when you write #Messi.

Zodiac61:
Now we await the list of all the Nigerian women killed by their husbands.

all women or 10 women? You think only 10 men have been killed their wives in Nigeria?

Yet the world tries to make it seem women are angels who never do anything bad. Many more have killed their husbands and other men without anyone tying them to the crime.

Niyeal:
How can u allow a woman to hold your scrotum(ball) for a very long time.
That man killed himself

isn't it you people that also say a man should never hit a woman, NO MATTER WHAT?

Froshloaded:
If it was a Nigerian Man The owner should just forget the money

there are honest Nigerians too.

I don't like the popup section. I haven't seen the other specs, but 180k for Snapdragon 730G, 48MP, and Color OS?

NORSYK:
CR7 gives more to Charities than anyone else out there. CR7 is a great guy some of the things he’s done for people are amazing and commendable. You can't be the greatest footballer ever and the second highest earner in the last decade in the field of athletics without dressing to stand out, CR7 deserves a little for himself too

they are talking about Cristiano, why are you mentioning Messi (greatest footballer ever)? Take time o.

healthserve:
Whatever. An intelligent monfd never judges on half truths. And I don't bother myself with people who assume spirituality doesn't exist or matter. Trust me. I don't

nice attempt at a Strawman argument. Refusing to attribute everything to the spiritual is not the same as assuming spirituality does not exist. One would think that's easy for anyone to see.

Also, any discerning eye who knows a thing or two about human psychology can tell a lot from as few as two words (not just the what but the how it is said).

If you have read the op's posts and are still looking for concrete evidence that the husband finds her regular 'polite' suggestions on what he should wear or do irritating (and would rather believe enemies of their marriage cast a spell on him to act without reason), you have no business mentioning me. We are on different wavelengths. Stick to your shallow waters. Bye.

healthserve:
I'm. Glad you learnt. Bye

lol. Delusions. Someone who attributed the issue to the spiritual is talking about someone else learning. You've gotten the attention you wanted, you can now move your shallow mind to the next post.

I don't really enjoy conversations with people who are unable to see patterns, who would rather rant about how something is wrong or 'not ordinary hand' while attributing the 'why' to the spiritual. A world of people like you, and we'd still be arguing about the right way to light a fire with stones.

healthserve:
Lol emotions. No psychologists make judgements without getting all the facts. Learn to always ask for full information on events before judging.

Okay. Anything else you'd like to add?

healthserve:
My dear you don't have substantive proof it went out as your imagination is painting an assumed portrait of what happened. Even if so, a man shouldn't beat his wife for such a lousy reason abeg

dude, I'm not your dear. That said, let me repeat this tiny detail that flew over heads despite being stated in the post you quoted - I AM NOT HERE TO ARGUE THE MORALITY OF THE ACTION. That is useless small talk that does nothing to enlighten anyone. I'd leave that "It is wrong" mantra for you to chant.

We know it isn't right (a man shouldn't beat his wife over something seemingly flimsy), what next? How does that help the op who claims she has no idea why her husband flipped? How does that help the world that is crime infested despite having laws and people eager to define what is reason enough to do stuff?

Knowledge is power. If you can figure out why something happens, you have an advantage in your attempt to change it or avoid it. Stop clinging to shallow small talk just because you cannot understand depth.

As for having substantive proof, take the matter to a professional psychologist and see if you'd get a totally different diagnosis. You underestimate people and ideas just because you post on the same forum.

healthserve:
Please and next thing is to give a wife Christmas beating for irritating his sense of masculinity. Don't make me laff abeg.

people beat others up for worse reasons, and Christmas is no different from any other day - it's 24hrs long and people still have emotions on that day.

There may be right and wrong according to whatever standard, but it hasn't stopped people from committing crime. Your thinking that it's not right wouldn't stop people from doing it.

My post is not meant to establish the immorality of the action but to help figure out the reason (since the wife claims not to understand why).

It's basic human psychology. There are things that when done repeatedly to you, would make you snap and have your 5 mins of madness. That's his own trigger, we all have ours.

Even when you tried to take away lots of details in typical lady storytelling fashion, it's easy to see you like telling your husband what to do. It irritates him.

It's been pent-up, and finally exploded that day. It's a terrible thing that he'd lash out at you that way, turning violent, instead of talking things out. Simply inexcusable.

I'm sure you'd sort things out. When you do, make deliberate efforts to tone down on the control. We know you have opinions, but you can express them without coming across like a queen giving commands.

If you need people to tell you, you are not ready.

Pharisee

Mckandre:
buy it,its very chip

you don come with your chip again. Snapdragon abi Mediatek?

ijewejones:
Lol,'sheeple mentality'?

Accept the fact that those church INDIRECTLY enjoy from all/any opportunity that they claim they ain't celebrating.

Please run along with your self deceit.

they are not celebrating with you, they aren't celebrating with you. What you would prefer to think, doesn't matter.

DavidEsq:
I think we should appreciate the difference between poor expressions, excused away in the name of euphemy and actual euphemy. "Backdoor" is certainly euphemy as it indicates an entrance. However, the word used in this story is purely a situation of poor expression as a result of jumping over fences while her mates were being studious in school.

lol. Smh.

So na fear of USA even make am release Sowore and Dasuki. This man has no regard whatsoever for Nigerians.

ELVISHOT:
Lol.. Where

a popular 'leaks' website, I think. Can't remember.

DavidEsq:
There's nothing euphy about that

If you call something a milder name because the original term is embarrassing, you are also being euphemistic. Terms like yahoo boy, yahoo plus, runs babe, are also euphemisms.

This is literally the first thing you see when you google 'euphemism'

euphemism
/ˈjuːfəmɪz(ə)m/
noun
a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.
"the jargon has given us ‘downsizing’ as a euphemism for cuts"
synonyms: polite term, substitute, mild alternative, indirect term, understatement, underplaying, softening, politeness, genteelism, coy term

Backdoor is also a popular slang for the butthole.

The problem is that you are living with too many women. Only one woman sef get wahala and they would always cause conflict if they are more than one.

You sound guilty.

Why is your wife turning your home into a refugee camp though?

DavidEsq:
U have a hole in your back? Which one be back ni?

lol. I think she meant anal. Nigerians are usually euphemistic.

Aunty, go get a divorce and stop disturbing the internet with the consequences of your choice of a life partner.

No random stranger cares. They have their own wahala.

Impatient people should never order stuff from Aliexpress. If you want to, do it yourself so you wouldn't start worrying someone for something out of his control.

I ordered several stuff during their 11/11 sales and have only gotten 2/8 items ordered. Imagine I had ordered through someone, the Nigerian in me would be so sure I'm being defrauded.

Right now you just have to wait.