₦airaland Forum

toksbisola:
@Op; this is a tough one. Your really need to sit your wife down and let her know that she needs to learn to manage the finances you currently have. If care is not taking, you’re going to run into a lot of financial debt. You wife is not even thinking of putting some saving techniques in place. (I may be wrong though and I hope I am).

Currently, she is complaining a lot about you not giving her enough money and on the other hand, she’s aware that you’re paying up some debts that you currently owe and yet she's not sympathetic to your plight.

From the look of things, I’ll advice you to encourage her to draw up a budget that would be appropriate for running the home. As long as she’s not starving and has a roof over her head and cloths to wear; then she should learn to manage the little money you give her. What will happen when you start having kids? Is this how she'll be demanding money any how without being content?

A man hopes to marry a woman who can manage his finances and not one who would want to put the family in debt as if she’s catching up with the ‘Jonese’ and incurring unnecessary expenditure. She’s not working yet and hence doesn’t understand the concept of saving for a ‘RAINY DAY’. She’s complaining about you not meeting her financial needs. What needs exactly if I may ask? (No offense; hope none taken).

For now, and in my view, as long as you provide a home for her, you provide an allowance for her to take care of the home-front and other maintenance money for herself, SHE SHOULD LEARN TO MANAGE UNTIL SHE GETS A JOB WHICH WILL THEN CATER FOR HER OTHER SO CALLED “FINANCIAL NEEDS”.

It’s at times like this that having a wife that works is helpful as she’ll have been able to carry the financial burden with you; owing to the fact that you are heavily involved in some projects that is taking a lot of your current finances.

To conclude, let her make a budget (as I have mentioned above) of your income and expenditure to avoid LIVING BEYOND YOUR MEANS SO AS NOT TO GET INTO UNNECESSARY FINANCIAL BURDEN/DEBT.

I rest my case

Thanks bro. And I though I was the only one thinking like u. The wife just has to be reasonable with the situation of things. Except when they got married, they were super rich and things now went bad, then, I could say, she had gotten used to d rich life style but they are trying to build things up and yet, she doesn't want to understand.

Same way a wife was reporting her hubby that he is financially capable of taking care of her blah blah blah! Dis said guy has govt work and earns abt 54k, in addition, he does side jobs to make extra 50+ and yet, d money is neva enough. She'll still complain, frustrate his sexual advances and still cry out that the guy isn't having sex with her.

Women and wahala!

freddymanny49:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am in a big mess at this point in my life. I have been suffering from low potency for months now. I don't get morning erection like i used to some 3 - 4 years back and beyond. It is causing me so much worry and pain that I had to call of engagement. I feel dead and dry on the inside. What do I do to stop this mess from messing and ruining my life. I don't want to use viagra to get it up because I am aware of the long term effects. I am still young and I am too young to be using viagra. I need serious help.

Guy, there's nothing wrong with u! Not getting morning erection doesn't mean u're impotent!

On the other hand, you're bothered about sometin and that is affecting u psychologically! I've been there even as a married man! Just try and keep your mind off it!

But ensure u haven't gotten an infection sha o but all things being equal, u'll pass the stage.

Try to take oroki everyday or any other jedi herbal fluid (non alcoholic o)! Its more or less like topping up your car's engine oil (maintenance tins)! Don't let the condition nother u too much or it may get worse! Ciao!

op, you causes your own misfortune! How can u romance a lady to d point of "losing herself" like you said and you refuse to penetrate?

u left her hanging on several occassions and thats even worse than not romancing her at all!

Now, thats a lesson for u guys: if u arouse a lady, be sure to phuck her brains out! or dont even try to give her a peck if u're not gonna have se.x!

hypocrisy of the highest order! If u keep doing this, most ladies will keep dumping u!

"romance ye not if you're not ready to phuck her!

D mecho simply lowered the idle speed via d idle speed control but one of the main culprit is the spark plug wires!

U know d cylinders fire 1-3-4-2 and once sometin is wrong with d firing, d idler (or whateva name the pros call it) would raise the idle speed to keep the car from stalling/or dying off! And in my own case, the plug 1 wire was d chief: its was having partial contact and also leaking current into the cylinder block!

Mine is a 1995 camry xle sef!

i guess what the op is saying is that the car starts fine but idle speed is very high! maybe 2000rpm or more! i had a similar problem sometimes ago!

Brokenbars:
Pls how much does civil defence pay graduate and wat level will they be.

Graduate as in HND or bsc? I can't be discussing such here. Drop ur whatsapp no and let's talk

vroom:
Pls drop ur WhatsApp and BBM details

drop urs and i'll buzz u. i simply don't want my number all over the place. tx

musco4me:
hello. Hw far?

i dey fine jare.

well, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how to cook and eat a chicken: grilled, boiled, fried or roasted!

i believe same applies to driving but i'd like to point out something: if u've been driving a manual gear car and later switch to automatic, using both legs may cause u to stamp on d brakes in a hard way (just same way u clutch down) but for "we" non-professional drivers who've never driving manual tranny for long before sticking to automatic, its preferable!

i drive with both legs and trust me, that has saved my flat y.ansh several times most especially when d sill.y okada or taxi drivers suddenly cross my path or else, u'll be reading about a ghastly accident by now. still, i dont brake hard as claimed by d pros in d house.

i drive an old school toyota camry xle (1995) with automatic gear!

Lemme reiterate: i'm not a pro but using both legs works for me and i can drive for several hours, non stop and im comfi with it.

dunno if its wrong or right but it does work for me!

idrisalomagold:
It's confirmed they are short of staff cos some are going on retirement, some are being promoted, very few have gotten another job in another parastatals and many will be recruited shortly. But don't pay anybody a dime.

Guy, u funny die! "Short of staff"? I wish I can take you personally to the CG and u repeat same statement before him. I'm sure some officers would fall down from their chairs laughing at u.

Stop listening to speculations or u'll be misled. We aint short of staff o!

Anyway, I feel u bro but don't be desperate to get a job in nscdc. There are so many guys who are doing fine without govt job. We can't all get govt job. Even me, I was a media man before and wasn't thinking d govt route but I got d offer to have a try and that's how I got in. It was touch and frustrating for some years but its getting better.

But if I have to choose between my media work and govt work, I'll choose to be an enterpreneur. But one can't keep jumping in and out so, I've decided to stay.

Now, this is just to encourage u all. I pray God answer our prayers asap. Take care.

If u need discuss, I'm on whatsapp ready to discuss with u.

Brokenbars:
Pls how much does civil defence pay graduate and wat level will they be.

Hnd or B sc? It all depends on what rank you're given when you're absorbed into the system.
I can't be discussing such openly here. Let's talk on whatsapp pls. Tx.

frakdon:
make I whatsapp yu too nah?

Drop ur phone no and I'll buzz u right away on whatsapp.

idrisalomagold:
You are right buddy. BUT when all due staffs are promoted upon receipt of their promotion letter, the next thing is RECRUITMENT in this same year 2015. This's from reliable source

Guy, u too funny! "From a reliable source"! Keep dreaming. U'll wake up very soon! As a staff who's being in d system and I've worked in abj, I'm giving u authoritative info, u're busy listening to people who can't wait to scam u.

Keep listening to d reliable source. By d way, d reliable source works where o? Abuja? Ask him or her which of d commands and that's where I'll help u debunk d claims.

Get something doing and don't be desperate abt this nscdc job. Or u'll fall into the wrong hands and that's what I'm trying to help u avoid.

But u guys love being scammed!

U see the proble is because u shot d system! Is it by d head or d balls? Lol!

On a more serious note, u probably have a virus infected system or the windows os is broken.

Try and restart while tapping d f8 key. When it brings up the menus, select safe mode.

If it still doesn't bring up anytin else apart from d black screen, drop ur whatsapp phone no and I'll buzz u and walk u thru a process.

Take kia

@op: nissan sunny is very very fuel efficient as said by someone up there.

However, the toyota camry orobo 1996 is not a fuel guzzler! I have a xle version which I got 1month ago and the fuel efficiency is amazing.

Best thing to do is to:

1. Check www.fueleconomy.gov and check d fuel statistics.

2. Get someone who's got either of both cars. Ensure there's no fuel, buy 5litres, travel some distance with either and determine which one u'll go for.

If u ask me, I'll prefer u get the toyota camry orobo due to my brother's experience with nissan gear wahala (automatic) but if u're going for manual transmission, fine.

Lemme rest my case here and allow some folks who know better than me to comment

UPDATE1: sorry toyota camry orobo is 2.2litre 4plugs or 3.0 litre v6 engine.

UPDATE2: I bought a 1995 toyota Camry xle (naija used o)! At 1st, it was fine d 1st day I got it then I had to service and d mech guy recommended a fuel injector head change, air intake hose change, etc. After servicing (without changing d above named parts), strange things began to happen: d dam.n car began to guzzle fuel like a V8 or V16 engine! D tachometer was revving up wildly to 2000 rpms or more and it wouldn't idle at 1000 or less like it should everytin was frustrating and I almost blamed myself for not using d money to buy my media gadgets instead. Infact, My wife was upset and was like "I thought u were getting a car we can put N200 fuel and drive around...." And I was just dumb.

Enter another mecho, d guy did wonders on d car! Adjusted d idle speed and also discovered that cylinder no 1's spark plug cable was exposed (d insulation had broken down) and d electrical spark that should go to the engine was touching d engine block!

To cut the story short I just managed it and drove around until I started losing power and d damn tin wasn't moving or climbing uphill like it should!

On returning from a journey (abeokuta to ibadan back to abeokuta), I discovered d exposed spark cable was burnt and rotten! I managed to tape it and that was d healing d da.me car needed! Fuel consumption was reduced to like drops of water! When I finally changed d spark cables, I could virtually go 10-20 kilometers on 2-4litres (that's with say N200 -250 fuel @87/litre!)

My conclusion is this: most cars are super fuel efficient if u av a good mech guy and also, if u can keep ur eyes on d tacho meter! If ur car revs at more than 1000rpm when idle, u're wasting fuel and u won't get good fuel economy.

By d way, its a 2.2 I4 (4plugs) engine and trust me, it revs at 750rpm when idle (without air con) and does 500rpm when d air con is working. I can say u won't go wrong with a toyota camry 1995 orobo. I got mine for around 410. Its a good utility car with very low maintenance cost. If u need additional info abt dis car, buzz me on whatsapp.

Take kia!

Get a good mopol and arrest that silly agent's ass! That's pure daylight robbery.

Ensure u call d agent via phone and record ur conversation as proof. Record as many as possible and make sure u keep safe.

If possible, save to online account like google drive.

Then make a case!

Na buhari dispensation we dey! No chance for slopiness

mariam1990:
. bro pls can i hav ur whatsapp contact?

There u go mariam1990:

0803 OOO OOOO

Pls quote ur nl name when contacting me on whatsapp.

As regards nscdc, nofin like recruitment/replacement this year.

Read this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/1999960/nigeria-security-civil-defence-corps

Don't believe false informations which would raise ur hope and make u desperate enough to fall into the hands of hungery scammers. Just go through that thread and there lies your answers.

May God provide job seekers with good jobs in Jesus name, amen

darm2009:
Please any update about 2015 NSCDC replacement please I need an urgent reply thanks

Read this thread cos I can't repost my response here again: https://www.nairaland.com/1999960/nigeria-security-civil-defence-corps

Adekagood:
The Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps(NSCDC) is a para-military agency of the Government of Nigeria given the impetus for the provision of measures against threat and other forms of attack or disaster against the nation and her citizens. The Corps is statutorily empowered by Act No. 2 of 2003 and amended by Act 6 of 4th June 2007. The NSCDC started its evaporations in May 1967 as Lagos Civil Defence Committee, later as Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps in 1970, undergone a transformational furnel in 1984 into a National Security outfit and later re-structured in 1988 to condense on 28th June 2003 with an Act to give it a statutory backing passed by the National Assembly and signed by Chief Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo, the former President of Nigeria. Worthy of note therefore, as a contributory quota to Nairaland, that the agency in question is "presque" set to recruit massively into it by January 2015. This would be done by laying off the "past-age" who were recruited without scruple, to pave the way for younger graduates. Sourced personally from a reliable high ranking officer of the agency.

Beware guys! This information from this guy is false! I repeat the information is not true.

Update: We just got our promotion letters last week 29th May running through June 5th.

And that's 2010 entrants and below. Even d 2012 were not promoted yet.

So, no recruitment or replacement issues in the air for now. Not this year or next year.

Thou shalt not allow thyself to be scammed!

I have warned you o.

If there's anything you're clear about and you can't find here www.nscdc.gov.ng, buzz me on whatsapp or bbm or quote me and I'll clarify.

There are so many guys out there who are ready to scam and rip you off your money. Beware!

I think difference in libido might be a root cause of these issues ma'am.

Its most likely your libido is like 1zillion and ur man, 100, hence he's not too keen about sex as much as u want him to.

As in, there's possibility you want it "fire-fire" "hot-hot" as d marriage is still fresh and hot but he aint forth coming.

Fablady:
Trust me it is not what you are describing. Plus I can understand you are a man so I am not surprised. I am not asking him for too much. In fact, I am the one doing too much just to minimize confrontations. He leaves me to do stuff without assistance and ends up complaining if it does not 'fit' his standard.

*sighs*


Then you really shouldn't make any rash decisions now cos why he's acting d way he is now is a hard nut to crack. But with God all things are possible.

I responded to ur post cos at a point in my marriage, my wife was having this same feeling/complaints and deep communication with each other helped us in a way.

I'm not trying to be bias cos I'm a man but I'm just trying to exhaust all forms of remedy for d situation.

It is well sha. Just be more patient with him.

Trust me, he might equally be bothered about things which he might not be able to communicate with u. For instance, u mentioned that d se.x is horrible and I'm damn sure, that's one big area he might be lacking. Which might just be as a result of common hemorrohoids (yodi in yoruba) and that may prevent him from discharging his duties efficiently. He might not even be aware he's got it but would be wondering why he aint moved seeing u nu.de. And that can frustrate not just d man but u as well.

That's what happened to a friend of mine recently so, I mentioned that area cos I'm trying to see how dis whole stuff can be sorted.

Meanwhile, you guys are yet to have kids I guess? That may be another stress on its own.

All is well ma'am

i get u OP. i think the problem here has to do with you. i'm not blaming you but if your hussy is d quiet or sensitive type, you are probably doing something "inadvertently" that pisses him off and he doesnt want to hurt u by confronting u.

another thing is sometimes and most times, our ladies always have this over hyped expectation about we husbands.

i think you should try to take things one at a time. dont be in a hurry to "have it all". your man is probably trying to get used to the new environment (marriage, so to say).

just be cool with him. i'm sure he'll open up one of these days. (trust me, i've been there and i understand)

nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

Guy, deception too much. If she confessed of her own volition, and not that u caught her by yourself, you may forgive and ensure you go for comprehensive pregnancy test. I don't mean just scan o! Do hsg, laparoscopy etc and ensure she doesn't have pid which most times lead to blocked tubes.

May God help us guys

teetopalad:
I heard that some new personnel are about to be given their letter of appointment from nxt week yet u said nothing is happening? what can u say abt that?
besides, so many recruitment used to happen in d background, can we find info abt it on their site? NO!

Point of correction. No letter is to be shared to any new intake because nothing of that sort is happenning.

What is going on is a promotional exam for we that are already in and confirmed.

And d exam is 24th/25th.

Its like you people love being scammed, ehn? Go ahead and pay someone for some fake papers. Come back later and tell us how u were scammed.

Berra open ur ears and eyes to see d truth in what I'm telling u.

Anyway, the choice is yours

ayoayo911:
My husband is a very faithful man, no extra babes or stuff but only makes love to me like once a month,yes we sleep on same bed under same roof. He disvirgined me after we were married 6 yrs ago. i feel sex starved, and cant even think of cheating on him. how do i tell if its low libido and what can i do to improve our sex life. i need help pls. thanks

my sister, it does happen in several marriages and it doesnt necessarilly mean hes cheating with another woman.

men sometimes lose interest in sex for a myriad of reasons.

D question is, that once a month that he "visits your ministry", does he "scatter and destroy every nook and cranny"? if he does, then he probably doesnt have e.rect.ion problem but hes not just too keen about sex or he just lost interest. And thats not to say u're not attractive or sexy. The way a man's mind works is very funny. Our mind wanders or to be specific, plenty of things run through our minds and tend to distract us.

try not to be angry with him or do something stupid. Wheneva he comes to visit your ministry, and hes done bulldozing everywhere, try and see if hes in a good mood to listem and u could chip it in that "my dear, u really scattered everywhere anytime we av s*x. I'll love it if we can have it more often like once a week". From once a week, u can graduate to 2 or 3x a week which is ok unless u're a sex goddess.

and remember, sex is not food so, dont expect to be having sex 3x everyday. too much of everything causes problems.

remember, he still has to run around to get what the family would eat and drink, shelter and clothing etc; so he needs d strength to do that but if u're constantly killing him softly with ur veejayjay everyday, he'll fall short in providing for d home and that would cause another set of troubles.

another thing you should consider and observe is his state of health. Anything fever affects men's performance etc. so, watch out, if he has constant malaria/typhoid attacks, he would naturally slow down to once a month.

i'm equally a married man and talking from experience (both personal and that of others).

Whatever you do "dont get mad at him!"

darm2009:
Please Is there any latest news on NSCDC replacement or recruitment?

Nofin of tht sort bro!

Check ur blood sugar level. Try to do fasting blood sugar and also, random blood sugar test.

Though, my dad made mention of somefin like dengue fever

ronkiss:
am 19 and still bed wetting , av done everything I could do, it hasn't stop, please anyone who has any information about what I can do, please share with me...

its not something so rare. i used to have a sibbling who did bedwet till age 19 as well but now, shes a big girl and doing fine.

From what ive read so far, it has to do with the growth/development of the part of the brain responsible for night time urinary control. if theres a delay in its maturity, u'll still be bedwetting till 19. thats why u see some kids that dont bedwet even at age 3.

so, relax and dont panic. just try and reduce fluid intake some hours before bed time and also, empty ur bladder once u want to sleep even when u dont feel like urinating.

1 more thing: if u happen to be asleep and u're dreaming of peeing or going to the bathroom/toilet to ease urself, pls, try and force urself to get up cos urine is on its way out.

relax dear, u're not alone. u'll overcome this phase in no time, ok? cheers

Kizito2nv:
pls am havin serious issues sleeping created a thread to get solutions dat doesnt involve drugs as in medication, most of the surgestions though great but doesnt seem effective please i need any drug dat can effectivly make me sleep in 30 minutes i actualy bought 1 yestday *aspain* but it was efectiv and pleas it should be a drug dat is accesibl at over the conter chemist or phamacy cos of my location thanx in advanc

Op, u don't need all those drugs. One thing u should understand is something is bothering your mind and you really have to slow down.

On the other hand, try get this beverage: horlicks. U put 2-3 table spoonful inside a cup of warm water. Drink around 7pm. You should sleep naturally. Its just a beverage like milo.

I had that same problem while working in abuja and it was just like suddenly, I couldn't sleep. I neva had any girlfriend or any thing bothering my mind but d damn sleep wouldn't come. I tried d horlicks and I got result.

Those sleep drugs like valium 5 or 10 can get u killed easily and cheaply and easily. So, don't buy them.

If you need to talk, buzz me on my bbm 29926927 or whatsapp 0803 431 1147