₦airaland Forum

Haahahahha! You both have finally entered express.

Somebody said you are her KARMA! I agree, I'm not sorry for you guys. Because we don't know how bad that guy felt when she left him.

See how people yarn dust, you used sex to scatter her head or what nonsense, now she has used her words to scatter ur life.

I'm sure the ex built house near you people to pepper you all. He's the real MVP.

Well the person who knows someone is in a relationship and goes after them and the person who agrees too are both people who have no loyalty in them. You propose to a woman that left her man for you.

Anyways you all shd enjoy ur Karma. I'm not sorry for you. Who cares.

Sorry for feeling that way.

It's in ur hands to make ur life better. Also work on your self esteem. The uniform you wear as a guard doesn't define you or your future.

We are all just different. I personally make friends with every kind of worker and even ask their names.

No human being is lesser than the other, some privileges only place some people at better places.

Difficult. A family man surviving on 60k. Tough.

You shd start considering a shift to another job where you don't have to deal with something that affects your health.

Because these are trying times, you may not have an option than to go with what they are offering but have one leg out the door from now hence.

Bosses Sha! Many are just that, no human consideration. So make the man die inside chemical. Although next time consider ahead what you might be asked to do on a job, because at his previous job, he stated he didn't have to work in production. Was he informed he might be doing so at the new job?

Anyways. Once issues arise at a job, start looking elsewhere asap! It hardly gets better, only worse. More fault finding.

Empty and senseless post. When even the irresponsible person is trying to call out another irresponsible person. Nonsense. We went for service and never misbehaved. You attract your kind of person.

Dpharisee:
Una say this 25 years pikin well so?

Scolding his mum who has suffered to raise him from cradle because of a mannerless ingrate.
You need to go back and seek forgiveness from your mum with a special gift and end that relationship, take all you have done for her as sacrifice. Let her go back to her family, you are not her father, bros you go cry for future.
I have a toxic hot tempered wife and I have not had it easy for many years now, your own go worse
My wife hid her own till after marriage, if I had noticed like you, perhaps we won't be married and I wouldnt have passed through what I have seen in her hands

May I ask what exactly keeps people in dysfunctional unions?

Ejenavi18:
Haba!
It has not come to this point na?
Disowning him won't help.


He has a mental Illness and needs to be treated.
What if they disown him and he slips into depression?
And of course you know what depression can lead to.

Lolz! Read again! He's 42 already and beats his mother. Even if there is hope he shd go and find the hope himself.

adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma

Hold on till you raise yours. Because it's easy to blame parents. I have to ask you this. What about siblings brought up in the same home with some turning out good and maybe a single one bad?

Once a person has reached adulthood, their parents should no longer be blamed for the life they decide to live. You can blame a child's parent but not an adult.

Ningen:
What??
He beats up your aged mum, his own mother??

DISOWN HIM.
It's time for your “aged” mother to rest!

He's an adult of 42yrs, mentally institutionalized twice and declared “fit” for the society. Gifted a job but only to quit. Doesn't want to earn a living and only into drugs. Una don try, GOD knows.

Can't think of anything else for the fellow than prison. Let him remain there for the rest of his days, because he'll soon kill his own mother na. I think everything needed has been done for him.

A home is a special place you don't just allow anyone in and out. This guy has no reason to maltreat you but he did. Guard your space, don't contaminate it. Love him from afar

HarunaWest:
They going no where.
Just shut up for a second. Has anyone even gotten to find out what the problem was. Instead everyone has been insulting the poor lady.

Don't mind them. She made it clear the kind of persons she was referring too. So if you are Igbo and haven't been posting senseless comments or attacking others on her group, why Should you be pained?

BusterG:
It a disorder you have bro.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

Just like Judas, some people are destined to be destroyed by their own self sooner or later. You are one of such.

Don’t stress yourself looking for advice.

It’s your destiny.

Ah ah! Which kain adbize be this na!

DeckXavier:
Op, you're a dark triad man!!
Don't think of it in its absolute term, it's more of spectrum, perhaps you find yourself at the extreme.
I am one as well, only that I am a bit empathic.

Everything has to go my own way in a relationship, I make sure it stays that way.
I am sort of selfish and self centered myself, I don't know if it's bad.

YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BAD....

TSBO:
With the strong exception of needing to control and punish, I can relate to some of those things as well. It takes me a long time to decide on a girl, even when I really like her. I usually do not see the need to date someone except I want to marry the person, hence, it is quite hard to try dating a lady to "see where it goes". Nonetheless, I would like to commit to someone and have the person committed to me.

I also dislike materialism and I'm quite simple.

Maybe I just have very high expectations or I just haven't met the right person (who isn't already taken).

No stress though. I think when I meet the right person it would be obvious. Same for you. You may even become a softie (aka simp in Nairaland terms). I think any man has the potential to become a simp in the hands of a very wise woman. He won't even realise it as long as the partner meets his expectations.

I'm not sure you read this person's submission properly, you are not the same in anyway and what he expressed is far from what you are saying.

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

You are not okay at all... Maybe you are dealing with some past trauma or you need your brain scanned and that's not intended as an insult. Something isn't right with you, some serial killers have sounded this way in the past. Personally I fear to meet ur kind of person but truth is you can only have your way with girls that are quick to open their legs and already have low self esteem. Some people like us will catch your toxic vibe within a short time and RUN! Bottom line is. YOU NEED HELP!

Beautiful woman. Beautiful story! To the ex husband, if all said about you is true, hehe! Need we curse you sef?! Bless your babies.

post=89542880:
I have received alot of mentions because of this comment of mine but yours will be the only one I would respond to. A comment from a distant onlooker yes, which puts the onlooker in the best position I'm not clouded by the pain, is a life for a life worth it ? Even after killing the person does it bring back the dead ? It is a painful situation clearly but I think leaving the person alive to atone is a better punishment.


Everybody with their diverse views to life for my own today I have recieved countless of insults

Heehe! This is Nairaland. In any case I doubt even if the family are ready to let the case go, I doubt the state will. Again as you have said you are not clouded by the pain... That's still why this issue easier to say.

Death penalty is very okay. For a mind to function at that extreme where it thinks about such gruesome evil, to the point of execution. I doubt we need such a mind back in society. This fellow also tried to escape... Studies has shown that those who commit crimes often repeat it too, so leave them in prison and something leads them back to society, they might do worse.

Gee64:
He wants another person to die for him to live a worldly life.
As if the person doesn't deserve living well too!
Uncultured primate. Little wonder that the whites don't take us seriously.

You messed up when you said the whites. Humanity has light and dark, the whites have worse serial killer stories. People who preserve those they've killed in their basement for years. Just for the fun of it.

post=89530032:
Should this be the way ? Death sentence is barbaric and should be abolished already


Modified: To everybody quoting me una dooh.. this guy could have been used for some form of labour l, he must be good for something.. he could have even been left to ponder on his mistake in his cell room forever.. I just think taking a life is too much.

A comment easily made as a distant onlooker. But what if this was your own child or someone dear. Death penalty is still an option and a good one for deliberately taking another's life.

nautybride:
Ever heard of let peace reign "sorry". It's for her own inner peace. Hmmmm! Marriage is a favour to weak women and even strong women need children of their own and a companion of the opposite sex. A woman expressing her opinion in marriage was done by our mothers in cunning ways. This generation is quite different
To make a marriage work takes hardwork and lots of shifting on both sides.

OKAY

angelusbrut:
Seriously some Nigerian men are just a joke,I got hooked up with a guy, well i am not sure if he is broke or not,but the manner he commands me made me to have a rethink, everything he wants you to apologize even the one he is guilty of, well as for me, am working and doing well,I can't because of marriage put my neck in a hook.
Least I forget,he will tell you that he is the man bla bla...
Yersterday,he insulted me like kilode, I just replied, thank you.
Nah so I take jakpa..I can't kill myself on top man and marriage matter.
Nne, please try and have some savings no matter how small, pray harder, you have already entered, you can't jakpa like that,I pray the man turns a new leaf soonest.

Have you really asked yourself why you are with him still?

crackkhaus:
See, Sass...on this, you and I operate on completely different philosophies.

I personally do not believe anyone changes (speaking of adults here), not children or teens. This is one of my guiding principles in human relationships.
I'm even much more comfortable with people who are transparent enough to show their negatives as well as their positives...at least you know exactly who you're dealing with and can work around it.

That false expectation which you noted as the reason why people change, is rooted on idealism - the need to focus only on positives, the belief that archangels walk the earth in human form.

Any man/woman who appears too good to be true, is definitely too good to be true.
This is reality.

Interesting. Something learnt here.

aeion:
Men with these sexist, I'm-always-right-you're-always-wrong, my-way-or-the-high-way characteristics are usually like that before marriage. You probably saw some of the signs before you got married and thought he would change. Or you were too caught up by him portraying himself as a so-called man of God that you didn't pay attention to the things you should have and walked away then.

Also, I checked your threads. In September 2018 you were seeking financial assistance here and you mentioned being a mother of 3. In another thread in November 2018 you mentioned having a 3-months old. In this thread, you mention being a family of 6, so between last yr and this year you just had another child. Idk why you keep having more kids when you're struggling financially?

Looolz! This level of inspection. What they mean when they say the internet never forgets. It's funny how people with problematic unions keep having kids.

nautybride:
Your story is typical for almost every Nigerian family.
The thing is our daily expectations are gradually decreasing because the future of the nation is uncertain, likewise the people in it.
Make sure you do not pregnant again. Do not add more to the challenges. I believe your husband is faustrated too and he doesn't want to be referred to a yeye man.
Yes, start saving, no matter how small. Please endure for each other. It's almost everywhere. Please, kindly apologize to your husband for your own peace of mind. Cut your expenses to what you can afford o. It is well.
Your health is important, take care of yourself for you and your children.

Apologizing for stupid, unnecessary and non existent offences makes you a bitter person. What is life if I can't express myself. In any case this whole thing called marriage is only working for a select few who really are aligned, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and more.

The whole thing I just read about the OPs husband's behavior is just nonsense. It's sad when kids have been brought into this kind of life, kids are always the reason people find it hard to walk away. That man will turn on her once he is better off. Before you give to others so much as if you will die, remember to take care of urself. She needs to do that.

Men need to stop acting like marriage is a favor to the woman.

My first ever zoom meeting, it happened. So Zoom needs to correct it.

So painful to read. Your father is on his way to hell, that's what happens to a man that won't take care of those entrusted to him.

Hustle hard so that you mother atleast has something worth being called a life.

Weird story. So the gods cannot bring justice for the pregnant woman ontop the trauma she shd start carrying sacrifice for some gods...

This story is off and doesn't make sense.

Iru ibeerre jati jati woo leleyi. What is wrong with people? Wants you to sleep with her... Is still with husband... About to dissolve marriage... Has three kids... Met on Facebook.

This is Covid-19 period, you shouldn't be smoking all manner of things. This is rubbish.

Tetrahedron:
This man was their main target, funke akindele and naira marley were just pawns to get to want they wanted

How so? Someone saw the future and knew they'll throw a party and invite him or what? I think Funke simply made a terribly wrong move for which there's all these collateral damage, maybe favorable to some people.

Obaman12:
The bolded is an insult to me. Pls be guided.
You girls treat guys anyhow only to come here and be claiming "straight forward persons" right? Ooin that's all I'll say to you.

Again, you're free to see it anyhow u want to, but for we that I've seen it all, we won't be tricked by those words of yours. Your type of self-acclaimed straightforward girl comes as a result of the fact that you'll be on the loosing side if you should fck up with ur moneybag boyfriend

We know all these things girl. So save ur "doctored" straight forwardness.

Mind you, am not saying a man shouldn't love her girl, but he should be guided not to get too involved to a level of being blindfolded by d sex and pleasure he's getting. Rather he should just enjoy the game even as it last

Oh u said this
Twisted world is because of this kind of messed up notions

Well, that's while Ubunja called it miseducation sha

I don't really blame you, the things you are saying are as you view the world from your own realities. Which is why I often wonder the kind of circle and crew people roll with, that makes them look at everyone from a shady place.

You don't play games with people. Lolz! How is the asking if you are child an insult? When you said na them wetin you mean?

Self acclaimed straight forward person. No, I'm not just self acclaimed I practice what I say. I also didn't see where OP said he doesn't want to go or leave because of the sex he is getting, he's more concerned about her loyalty cuz apparently he takes the relationship more seriously than her...

Anyways, if you play games stop it, cuz you'll also miss out on someone who meant to be straight with you when they find out your gimmicks.

Bye.

Obaman12:
Na them oo

yes, us the straightforward people. Why should a grown man or woman be playing games, are you a child?

Twisted world is because of this kind of messed up notions, play games, don't love too much, don't love them more... Plenty silly rules. Nothing in life is more headache free than being honest and straightforward.

CsRockefeller:
Its fine. Everyone to his/her opinion.

Well, not everyone can get one though. Some conditions have to be in place before Wikipedia grants one that previledge. Mainly for people who have distinguished themselves in a particular field in life.

The idea is that you might know someone who knows someone that might need a page.

I see. Quite understood.