₦airaland Forum

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

But if your parents were never there for you, why not solidify your life before going to get a woman Pregnant and ending up in this entanglement with a poor child. Good luck sorting it all out. She will forever use the child she has with you to manipulate you.

How do you save a man not ready to save himself. You don't

cool

amatheanimator:
HI, Work like this have to be preplaned with the motion designer ahead of time as it is just like wanting to do a vfx after shooting a movie with out consulting the vfx guy as his Input is important in the staging and camera work to give the best professional and realistic illusion, so note this for your future work.
I Will like to look at the videos and frames and what that effect and the type of effects that you want and my recommendations as well and to get the overal feel of the lyrics and video as well to help me match stuff as part of the preliminary study and I will give you a feasibility report afterward for possible work engagement.
Check my signature for contact.

Thanks. I get you but this isn't about visual effects. It's not a musical either, I actually know what I'm trying to achieve only need someone with the know how to bring it to life.

1Alex:
Have you done the voicing? I can give an excellent job

it's an already produced video. But recreating it to add motion graphics over it and would need some great transitions between clips. Send an inbox if you don't want ur number here.

I need someone for a gig, should have the expertise to create great modern style motion graphics over an already produced video.

Motion graphics will include texts and relevant icons. Will also place transitions in between clips.

Video running time is 4 minutes plus. The focus is on achieving nice motion graphics that'll flow with video and voice over from start to finish.

Reach out if you can and we can proceed with further discussions.

GIG NO LONGER AVAILABLE. THANKS ALL

Nonsense people come up with nonsense ideas.

And so! It's the comparison I don't get. Would you rather un-go to the school or un-have the education you now have?

Well, with good planning and focus you go make am

That's because y'all deal with devils. Has always been wrong for any human being to remind another of the good done for them.

In addition I always say this, sometimes women don't even bring it up, but a man's ego be bringing it up and conjuring it into reality.

They won't like that I said so, but na facts.

Ewwww! This one is serious abeg. What kind of nasty attitude is that. I can stand seeing someone's poo but not drool from the mouth, toothpaste drool or phlegm. Extremely disgusting. Abeg she shd adjust. She should think of something that highly irritates her and put herself in man's shoes.

Lolz! Dude said insults are welcomed. Identifying that she's the wrong woman is good enough. Your niece visiting was all you needed. Neice came to chill with her uncle, not turn to house girl. But why will you beat somebody till she's bleeding, if she dies in your hands, you think people will buy the niece story?

Waka jeje inside life o.

So when are they killing him too?

HONESTLY THIS IS A LOUD ONE!

Starting this platform does make one receive some questions Sha o. But we have to deal with the uncomfortable anyways.

My own angle to this from a moral stance of course is that there’s more harm in this than any good. I know a home where things the ears shouldn’t hear or the eyes see started to happen because of the materials the younger ones were exposed to through adult DVDs of their parents. When everything exploded that was the source of the problem.

The questions?
� Porn already comes from a wrong source and foundation, trying to use the bad to achieve the good is counter productive. There are other ways.

� Watching other full grown adults demean themselves sexually makes no sense, in the name of bonding with your partner? E get as e be?

� The expectations of what it’s seen in porn is not reality. Just like in movies, everything is exaggerated. If that becomes the standard for a couples sexual life. They would be serious problems.

� Please just a reminder, some of the people in these adult videos are dead. Gone. Maybe even left that kind of life, before they died. Yet you are still watching them. Isn’t that an uncomfortable truth.

That said. Porn in itself is wrong.

There many books for couples to read to enlighten themselves on sex and sexuality the healthy way. If reading is too much wahala. Watch videos that teach you without excessiveness if there is any such word. Not through Porn please.

What are your thoughts on this?

Source - themoralcodeng.com

Find more Moral Questions in the pictures.

My people, I bring you story as shared by one Omalicha that I admire her sense. She say make I share give una for here.

So a friend told our omalicha say her cousin dey find job. Let’s call omalicha Mati. Luckily an opening came up somewhere, the place is Mati’s current work colleague’s former office.

So they send cousin who needs job over, as per we refer this person for this job. On arrival, cousin while sitting in reception asks receptionist for remote and gallantly, boldly, changed station to BB NAIJA. As receptionist too like the program na, she no talk, they both watched. Till a staff, probably a senior one walks past and asks who changed the station, as a receptionist you sef go Wan receive query or lose your job? Madam receptionist quickly point finger o, say na Miss interview collect remote change am.

So now, interview panel were not impressed by her behavior, maybe amongst other things she might have done and now she might lose the opportunity. Friend is now begging Mati to please help her cousin, her cousin is 33 and really needs a job. That she behaves like this because it’s like they are following her, una get wetin she mean as per village people things. Looolz!

As The Moral Code along with those who think alike, here is our analysis of this situation.

That at a job interview, your primary concern is to impress those you have come to see. You are meant to use your time to read about the company know who is who. Maybe engage the receptionist in useful conversations.

That even if a smelly show like BB Naija just happens to be a guilty indulgence for you, proper conduct and manners demands that you don’t do certain things in certain places. As a new Comer somewhere, you want to take over the place.

First impression really does matter, and this lady murdered her own first impression, she shattered it. She told her potential employers that she lacks the codes of proper behavior. She told them she doesn’t have her priorities straightened out. She told them if employed, her first mission in life will be BB NAIJA, she’s those workers who just want to come sit at an office have fun and collect salaries. Baba Buhari you called yoots lazy. You were right sir, some yoooots (deliberate spelling) are beyond lazy.

Our friend who shared this message is no longer obligated to render anymore help or talk to any person on her behalf. When I shared 20 money lessons here, I said help yourself first, then show people what you have done for yourself and they will be happy to help you further. This madam received help and threw it all away.

Be careful who you refer, now imagine you referring someone for a job and they go and mess up like this. Imagine you are even their reference. Then you receive call on phone that goes “eskweez ma, are you the reference for so and so, she has absconded with office TV and a small fridge, we need you to come and write a report at the police station, because the address she gave us was fake”

To those that want to keep living their lives without direction. Without Moral Codes. Continue, make the job of the village people easier. Because some people have read this and will still be like WHAT’S THERE?

Thanks for reading.

Source - www.themoralcodeng.com

How does her inability to cook well cause running stomach. Is it bad food you are served? Anyways those saying to keep eating don't know what they are saying. Claim you are fasting or go eat out and bring them food.

Since 2012 I’ve taken up jobs, and sometimes in between I’ve freelanced. 2012 till now is definitely not less than 7 years. Why I’m I telling you this? So you can know and be sure I know what I’m trying to say here.

I’ve worked at different jobs, I’ve sent out hundreds of applications when job searching, I’ve made it to the final stages of tough and long interview processes and still got a NO and I’ve gotten some YES too. I’ve also had to look at people’s applications. So what I’m saying here is what I’ve seen in CVs.

Before I take you through some of the things I’m telling you to kick out of your CV I’ll give you a background as to why. Trying to get people to fill positions in an organization is tough, it’s a lot of work. Imagine receiving hundreds of applications and it’s people who have to look through it all. The people looking at your application are scanning very fast with their eyes to catch the relevant information on your CV that will tell them if you are a potential candidate for the job. So you want to use that space well and give them on point information, not irrelevant things. Try to keep your CV within 2 pages.

� Except you are applying to a Faith centered organization at any time, your RELIGION is not relevant. Take it out of your CV. Serious companies that just want you to deliver your expertise do not care about your religion. The ones that carry -religio-for-head will frustrate your life and still barely pay you well, especially small private businesses or organizations.

� Full date of birth or date of birth entirely. Why? You want us to know you are young or too old for the job? Or maybe you want us wishing you happy birthday and send over a gift. You get the sarcasm?

� Your hobbies. Who e epp? Take that out. Instead you can place your core skills there. Nobody really cares if you like football or party jollof.

� Tweak your CV to relate to a new position you are applying to, if in the past you were once a Chef at a hotel, then that role is irrelevant to maybe an engineering job. They want to see your past experiences that relate to the new position you are applying for. Don’t just list experiences for the sake of it.

�Your state of Origin. Marital status are irrelevant and putting them even harms your chances. Remember real people are looking at these most times, so what if your towns people have been annoying the person now looking at your CV and seeing where you are from just annoys them more and so your CV is trashed. That’s not a logical thing to do, but our human emotions get in the way, so don’t put any info that could make someone biased to you in a certain way, even if it’s in a way you think might be positive.

�Only write languages you speak if it’s relevant to the job. Or international languages like French, Arabic, Chinese. Just listing languages you speak wastes space.

Use your own wisdom to understand when to apply these rules. In every thing there are always some grey areas.

❓Now do you know sometimes it’s a system called ATS that’s used to sift out CVs before real people look at them. There is a way to make this system easily pick your entry as a potential candidate.

❓Do you know there are couple of ways to gather work experience right after school than waiting forever on a job?

❓Do you know that sometimes your application never even reaches the organization, because you believe you sent it through the right channel but NO, you didn’t. There are secrets to not missing your target.

❓How many of you even know I have an e-book on The Moral Code blog titled JOB HUNT LIKE A PRO which answers these questions above and shares many tips to being more efficient in your job search. Visit the book section of the blog to find it.

Source www.themoralcodeng.com

Poseidon000:
She apologized to me the next day and I had no option but to forgive her because I'm terrible with being angry with people. coupled with the fact that we were in a dire situation that night.

She acted on the instinct of human selfishness; that same kind of selfishness that would make a person want the best food he/she can get, and I can understand that much.

oh well! We all different. This wasn't an instinct of life and death... It was just all wrong. As for the matter in focus, it pays to accept the world is what it is, some will listen, others will still make the exact mistake they've been warned against. World people

Lolz! See how he keeps using the word SQUANDERING! A good lady that sees a future with you, should help you manage your resources and multiply them. Not squander them!

So because other people want her you are insecure. Are you using money to compensate your fears. Just as women don't get it right, some of you men don't also get it right. Anyways the good thing is the poster knows the answer to his questions.

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

I like this post, a rule for not only the malefolk but ladies as well. The sad thing is, people continue the circle they found themselves or their parents. Few are truly able to have the will not to repeat that circle and break out.

If I be your female colleague Sha, that man can't carry me anywhere, I go drop, what nonsense is that. Mean people everywhere. Makes no sense.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

So sorry about your pain. Lock then all up and get answers jhoor! . They have no right to hold such info from you. You do need closure.

chiddyok:
I’m grateful for my black, ever young skin. Chai, see her neck old pass my mama wey be grandma own. And my mama no be celebrity.

E for better make you no comment. In life we must age, different bodies, different genes. Spare us the superior race comment. How does it even relate with the post?

eni4real:
Don't mind her!!

What baffle me most is that some men are calling her 'wise' , ' matured', 'wife material' for those dangerous Advice!!

Only God knows how messed up some people's minds are. They see abuse as a measure of Maturity.
Rubbish!!

I mean just look at the number of people that liked and shared the comment. Abuse is Abuse! Not every time diplomacy and leave everything for God. God gave you thinking faculties, use it! A situation you don't like is a situation you should find how to get out of. The OPs brother is a foolish man that can't even maintain balance in his own home. Just sickening.

chii8:
Don't let the devil push you out of your settlement stage(celebration), endure a little more, ignore your sisters in law and keep on greeting your brother's wife.Infact in some occasion, buy the ladies little gifts or snacks and patiently wait for your final settlement day.(the more gifts you get them, the more you win your brother's heart).

Gifts with which money. Basically you mean he should be enduring nonsense with a smile on his face and pretending

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

oh lord! What kind of comment and advice is this? We women are troublesome by nature? Any body who is troublesome by nature is close to madness.

All these advice now, how do they solve the problem? Can you endure this nonsense? Some people don't understand what peace of mind means. Wife and sister are bad people, period. No excuses for bad behavior. If that girl was equally violent towards him, you'll still say it's not good to slap a woman Yada Yada Yada, not verbally or physically abuse anyone. It's that simple.

OP at your age, hustle and get the hell out of that house. Join with friends and rent a place or find a really cheap apartment. Your brother doesn't own your life.

I can say 90% of people asked I write about this topic. Las Las we all like money, so long we pursue it the healthy and legitimate way. So in no particular order, here are money lessons I’ve learned and still learning, because mistakes will still be made on this journey. Working people can learn from it. Business owners can learn and just about anyone else.

# Don’t borrow money from one person to help another person. Except you have a source for sure to pay back in case the borrower delays or fails. Bottom line is don’t even do this, if you no get, you no get be that. Because you will become the new debtor and have to deal with paying back money you didn’t even use.

# Save money. This is an ever green rule, save by paying yourself first, from your salary or whatever you earn from business. Whatever you save will save you in emergencies, will help you pursue an investment opportunity that may pop up, hence you multiply your money. Saving money will save you. You can save for emergencies, or save towards a specific investment, like buying a car for transport business to bring you more.

# Don’t do business with extremely close friends or family except there is a solid agreement and a lawyer present. If you refuse to learn this one by following reading, you might have to learn by experience, just know that your relationship with these people may end up destroyed forever. Because I can’t even begin to tell you how money puts us all to test, the person you think you know will become a complete stranger because money is involved.

# Don’t dabble in businesses you don’t understand or sound too good to be true. I’ve lost one 80k somewhere that I’ll probably never get back, I went for it because I felt the person who told me about it knew enough about it for me to follow, but Alas! Most importantly, don’t take a loan for a business you don’t understand especially businesses you can’t really hold anyone accountable, no leader, mentor or people who have tried and can direct you.

# To get something, give something. If you are newly employed somewhere or even been there for a while. Do give your superiors something new from time to time, that way you can ask for a raise, get a promotion or move on to a better place because you have a lot to give and you are important. The more you know and put into practice, the more you can earn.

# Show what you have done for yourself and you will easily find help. Don’t be a give me, give me, person, once you have showed what you have done for yourself, people will be happy to invest in you. I know someone who saved money for his masters and needed a little to complete it, he got it easily, because his helpers were impressed with how much he had saved from the stipends gotten from Npower program. I know another who saved up money running into 100k during her service year, she wanted to buy a camera of about 180k, but her helper was so impressed when she asked for help that he told her to keep her 100k and he bought her the camera.

# Money should serve you, you don’t serve money. Some people just hoard money, they don’t use it. Even on themselves, let alone on others. Living like a pauper while you are stashing money away. You’ll still lose it one day, don’t worship money like that, when you hoard it with no goal in mind, you are a slave to it. Yes, there are real human beings who behave like this.

# As a business owner or service provider, radically publicize what you do through every medium and platform available. BUT know this, marketing and advertising may not instantly bring you a huge sale, but has placed what you do before the eyes of many more who will save your advert and could reach you later for that big sale or contract. And don’t be ashamed of your hustle, face front. The people who don’t see value will ask you how you are doing it later.

# Money can be learned about. And some people are not just noise makers, they do know some laws about how money works, and are teaching people. Find them, pay for their whatsapp classes, coaching classes or courses. It’s worth it.

# That some cannot afford a product or service you offer at a certain price does not make you expensive, they simply can’t afford it and you should learn not to drop your prices based on people’s emotions, as long as you are not being ridiculous compared to your competitors. You can also make it affordable for them by offering a system that makes it affordable, an example is installment payment.

Visit source below to find out the 10 more lessons
https://themoralcodeng.com/2020/07/18/20-money-lessons-i-have-learned/

We don't even need to know.

Why should Regina run when she knows the price at stake. She and her mother know what they are doing. She has chosen her path, some young women will follow her too. We already know the union makes no sense to right thinking decent people.

Still not his fan though. That doesn't make him a bad content creator at all, everyone just has their audience. Same way some don't find Tao funny.

Help Nigeria win a spot internationally by voting the documentary film using link below. Withhold your vote only if you don't like the video. Thainz.

kulobyno:
Forget the camera smile and packaging. There's inner pain that an aging single lady suffers. The pain grows as she gets older. Forget the "marriage is not everything" and liberated woman bulshit. They all deny it publicly. When you are close to one you will understand her pain.

So if man wey make sense no dey, wetin make them do? We all seek companionship but not at the expense of being with the wrong person or simply settling. Hence many will rather choose their peace and solitude over that life.

In the end, you can't determine the level of peace and contentment a person has in their life. If they don't feel pressure on the inside all the outside one is just noise.