₦airaland Forum

dingbang:
Whoever looks at a woman lustfully has committed sin..


It didnt say


Whoever dresses seductively has committed sin..

Africans sef.

Another portion says anyone who causes even the smallest person to stumble is guilty.

Christianity is about moderation.

No Christian woman/man would dress like an harlot.

Biglittlelois:
I have never come across a misogynist as this Op, it's beyond shocking really, the ones above trying to explain and make you see reasons really tried, how some males can comfortably blame women for almost everything beats me, you will be fine dude.

Where is the misogyny in the OP's post?

How did he display hatred for women?

You can accuse the OP of being too 'traditional' or 'cultural'.

His premise of discussion is not new: I first encountered it on foreign forums.

Traditionally, a husband should win bread while a wife cares for the home.

If the husband has to compete with other women/wives for bread, how would he effectively win the bread and perform his financial duties?

Also keeping in mind that the wives getting the jobs are not using the resources to care for their families: so their husbands have to 'hustle' harder to maintain the 'financial' frame in the family.

If the wife who should care for the home is out winning bread (which would not be useful at a family level), who takes care of the some?

Some school of thought have further processed to say women shouldn't study some courses in college because it is a huge investment without returns at that end.

What everyone should bring to the table is the merits and demerits of the current/proposed system.

The OP will hit you differently depending on the side of the fence you are on.

Klass99:
Best chores: Cleaning, keeping things neat, tidy and organized. I can do this, all day, every day

Worst chores: Ironing and cooking. I don't like ironing & cooking because they generate heat and cause me to sweat.

I want to sweat only when I'm working out and the thing about cooking is, if you forget to tie your hair with a scarf during the process, your whole hair and entire body for that matter smells of onions and whatever you are cooking.

Yes sure, you can take a shower afterwards but you can't always wash your hair if you have braids or a weave on. You can iron with the AC on too but it is a power draining something

Cleaning on the other hand (i.e sweeping, moping, washing the bathroom) is physical activity I enjoy, it is a lot of body movement and it feels like exercise. It causes me to sweat as well, but the heat is generated internally from my body not externally from an iron or hot pot.

OP, you brought back pleasant memories with this thread. When I lived with my siblings I always told them you do the cooking and leave the cleaning to me. I could go to the market, shop for things, do whatever they asked (as the youngest) but it would take an armoured tank to get me to cook or iron

Till tomorrow, ironing, nope!

aalangel:
Please how is Innocent, Pero's husband? Is it by having 3 kids? Even when she was pregnant with the third one, he proposed to Annie. Annie's got the guy!

And a guy with five kids outside marriage is the prize?

When they were ALL conceived during the relationship with her?

SMH!

Presidential baby on board.

grafixdon:
My sister told me she's gonna visit her husband unaware. I called him and told him about what my sister told me incase he lodged another girl.

This is a joke right?

WoundedLamb:
They will say you should mind your business. Now imagine if it was a sister in-law you caught cheating, Nairaland would have been telling you tales of the terrible things that would happen to you if you don't send the olosho out. Double standard.

DexterousOne:
Assuming the genders were reversed

We would be having a very different answer from those who have commented

Nigerians

timwudz:
Blessing in disguise
If you're not using that bank account again, DM me the information lemme be using it. Thank you

N30k you don't know the source is blessing to you?

Nooil:
You don't need to put negative thoughts in her head. The man has always been a nightcrawler even while with her. Moreover, the moving thing isn't a biggy, it's understandable. It's not nice to put thoughts in her head.

I am not putting thoughts in her head, I try not to do that when commenting if there is no cause for it.

I summarized what her husband's different actions in her post translate to.

Hang out with the boys is not bad; going incommunicado when hanging out can be addressed, him wanting to remodel the house/get a bigger place is commendable, Not reaching out to her can also be addressed.

Doing everything at the same time?

Sweet mama,

Happy married life OP.

God bless you abundantly.

Womanizer:
Send in your application if you want to join

Olorun maje

Was Vee saying Nengi is dirty?

And what kind of girl calls herself a b!tch?

Was does Nengi associate Neo washing pants with luck like she did not have a guy chasing her till he earned the king of Simpson according to our NL simp detectors?

Otedola and his daughters, never his wife.

It would be an interesting book to read.

Brachaa:
I reject it!

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Bound to happen to you but not I, the daughter of Zion.

Case closed.

I join you in prayers.

Amen.

NeoWanZaeed:
laughing..

it's bound to happen..it would happen..

every marriage faces issues.

Just like life, marriages would have challenges which is different from discomfort borne our of someone's misdeeds.

'Nigerian' marriage issues are different sha.

Brachaa:
Ok Sir. But me I reject it in Jesus name. I won't face such in my marriage.


Shalom.

Amen.

Darkandbrown:
Away from home for 7months now because of covid 19. Just when I thought airports are opened I can now go home, hubby said I should give him 3 months to gather funds for a better apartment. What can I say as visa issuance is even on hold sef.
To the reason for this post,
Oga usually hangs out with his friends once in a week and gets home late, we had issue about it when I was there. And since I travelled he still continues such and when he is out he would not take my calls, my messages wont get delivered then he gets home about midnight( I know cos immediately he steps in he gets the mesages). The next day we would have issue cos obviously I was pissed my this.
Last night he did samething, we last spoke when he was at work, he responded to my messages this morning at work then he called me ( I.e he slept out). I was calm cos I didnt want to talk or react in a bad way. I asked why he didnt take my calls, oga claimed he didnt see the calls, I asked why he didnt receive my chat either and he said wifi in the house stopped working, the usual none challant respond and the obvious lie got me pissed and I told him I had to get to what I was doing and I would talk to him later. He kept insisting on the lie. I angrily said oga park well, I know what is going on and that I wasnt stupid. He ended the call, after a few minutes I was calm and thought I should call back but since then he has refused taking my calls.

1. Your husband has boys' night out once a week: there is nothing wrong in that, and if coming home VERY late is your concern, address that. Although hang outs within the week means coming home very late. Hangout is after work.

2. I don't understand the drama of your husband going incommunicado when he is hanging out with his friends. Were you fond of calling him continuously to ask where he is? Even if yes, he ought to give periodic updates like 'we just left the bar, I am on 3rd Mainland, I just passed Lekki Toll gate' bla bla. Radio silence and him resurfacing afterwards doesn't cut it.

3. Why is your husband changing apartments? What's wrong with the old one? If all is well, shouldn't he be more concerned seeing you than changing apartments you already know?

4. You need to know how to engage your husband in a way you don't become the offender since he is manipulative. Or you could apologize for the way you made him feel (not your actions) and continue on your point till you get satisfactory answers.

I think you should storm Nigeria as soon as you get a visa.

Prepare your mind for any eventualitu, your husband doesn't seem vested in your marriage and happily living single. Your absence is also a convenience for him to do whatever he is doing.

That 'whatever' is what you have to look for.

Goodluck.

MiddleDimension:
But Oyakhilome did it. He told his wife that one country is too small to for the both of them!

Are you serious?

Sisijetue:
*Deficient emotional vacuum* no dey feed mouth

Money is not everything

When one passes survival mode, that realization comes naturally.

Funny how people shouting 'poverty mentality', 'inferiority complex' etc. are actually the ones exhibiting it.

It takes guts and principle to return such a gift.

What I expect from the OP is to graduate from the Naija way by telling his daughter why he decided to return the gift and using that as a father - daughter bonding session teaching morals and values.

It is only 'I never chop' that accepts everything that comes their way.

Perhaps there might have been a less aggressive way to handle the situation like talking to the Proprietary staff and teachers without returning it, he took a stance and acted it out.

When according to his training manual he feels it right for his daughter to have a PS4 or latest version out, she will.

There was a thread on Oloshoism amongst young ladies today. It started from somewhere.

AnonymousRebec:
I agree that gifts can make you indebted. This was a birthday, once in a year stuff. It's not like the person is giving you these kind of gifts every now and then. It is once in a whole year. Next year the children might not even be in the same class.
And it is not like that child or parent has demanded anything in return. If they begin to feel entitled because they gave your child a gift, that that is a good enough reason to return it.
This parent is just funny. He has denied his child an opportunity to have a PS4. Now if everyone in school is talking about their PS4 and the game, he will have absolutely nothing to say .

@bold:

That is the OP's lesson:

I can't afford PS4 or I don't think you should have it, you don't.

PS4 is not necessary or an essential commodity.

crackhaus:


So how many previous sexual partners would you consider decent enough not to affect how well a man/woman would bond emotionally with the next person he/she gets into a relationship with?

I still can't get over your use of the word decent when you're talking about pre-marital sex like there's really that big a difference between two previous sexual partners and five previous sexual partners...lol.

I mean, that soul-tie you usually talk about which happens during sex, has already happened during sex with the first person right? So does it matter if there's five more people you have sex with?
One would already be doomed if the very first person didn't have a good/positive blood/spirit na

My brother,

What can I say?

The more the sexual partners, the worse it is.

If you sleep with one person, there is a tie. With two, there is another tie not forgetting that the ties your partners had with their prior partners.

Well, any (wo)man in Christ is a new creature. So it doesn't seem like I am rubbishing the work of Christ on the cross. They are forgiven, they are new.

They would however have to work towards creating that bond and be content with their partners. Which is key in marriage.

pocohantas:
Honestly, if you check the dating dynamics in Nigeria- you’ll realize just few would get a good deal in the long run. With the way our youths are wasting themselves, reckless lifestyles and drug abuse... God help us. Some no even send again, they are on YOLO mode.

It is scary.

Someone I know has been lamenting 'no wife, no wife' and gone on numerous dates.

People with wierd inclinations and things like 'he is just a married friend asking me out so I am going to spend the weekend with him because he is lonely' or guys like 'don't worry, I would help you flush the toliet' because they want to eat the girls poop.

The unmarried ones looking for spouses after a certain age dey try.

crackhaus:
Yup, I know the text in bold is what you meant.

What I was trying to draw your attention to is that even before young people enter unis these days (even happened during my days, but not as much as now), they are already having sex with their age-mates at 15/16/17 or with those who are a little bit older.

The point here being, if the idea is to avoid having relationships with people who have not had previous sexual partners, then it's quite unrealistic since kids at 100level these days already dated and had sex while in secondary school.

The ones who make it to uni before dating/having sex with a guy, majority don't get married to their 1st bf, not even 2nd or 3rd.

You're using your own reality to make a representation of what you expect should happen generally, which is very far from what really happens.

If dem call 100 women now including yourself and ask how many of you are married to your first bf, you will probably be the only one to say aye...

Maybe not virgins but decent enough people.

My major concern is not picking people who can no longer bond because they have had too many people emotionally and/or sexually and people we know well.

The university affords you almost free opportunity to know who a person is (under pressure, when 'free', associates, values, ambition, aspirations) etc.

The standards are dropping jare.

pocohantas:
I agree with all you’ve said, but I was focused on the ones with what they call sponsors and benefactors. If you check, you will see I stated that they are moving on from “runz”. I think there is even a level in the business. They look up to their seniors in the game who have retired from daily hustle, to referrals, then international trade...lol!


My reference to fcking was because of guys who think it is okay to fck them as bfs, but suddenly raise the roof when it is a sucre papito. There is a thread telling girls who do not want sex to avoid relationships and they are in support. Rather than avoid relationships, these girls have chosen to avoid relationships with struggling guys. Like, all men want the SEX, the broke ones even want to die there. So, why sin in poverty? You get?

Leave the romance Boys alone, they are just starting life.

Or perhaps, my colleagues have just snatched their girlfriends

They don't think it is OK to fvck guys as bfs, they think it is OK to fvck THEM till the relationship is over and they start singing 'olosho' tune.

I think Nollywood is their post-graduate entry level.

That industry fVcking pays the women!

Pun intended.

successtutor:
Osho is a lucrative business . An average olosho makes between 8k & 10k daily.5 clients in 2k brothels. spends 2k on feeding and rent 2k . remaining 6k . 6k in 30days . An illiterate making 180k per month. it's hard to withdraw such a person from the business but na ur toto go suffer am saa.

We are talking high end, masters holder Oloshos you are talking about Oloshos in hotels.

crackhaus:
So you're still preaching this your sermon on NL when 15/16/17 year old girls these days are already collecting príck...

How young do you want men to go again?

Maybe na to marry female baby remain, then wait for her to reach legal age while giving her close monitoring

Young as per both parties (not young girls and old men biko: they should carry their old bodies to their mates)

Fresh in university or end of university is OK for both parties. You know yourselves very well.

No matter how bad things are, they get worse as the person grows older.

An olosho at 20 would be a senior olosho with higher body count at 30.

An aspiring patron at 20 would be a grand patron at 35.

crackhaus:
More coded than the men paying for sex.

Well, the OP made his report using Lagos as the focus point. Sure it happens everywhere

More coded, I agree.

He should leave our Lagos for us.

Gerrard59:
The good thing about this industry is that it supports another industry - the hospitality industry. Like I have stated previously, should people stop cheating or having several sexual intercourses, 50% of jobs in the hospitality industry will be lost and 25% in the fast food/restaurant sector will vanish.

Live and let's live.

Hahahahahahahaha!

What about the alcoholic beverage industry?

intimacy gadgets, contraceptives and the likes?

An economy built on prostitution.