₦airaland Forum

Amanee:
You should know better than quote that brainless troll

If I tell you I know what attracted them to this thread, I am lying.

Women know the difference between a man who wants you and one who deserves you is causing them issues?

Davash222:
I can't develop myself to a worthless non-virgin Nigerian girl.

Of course, only a worthless low self-esteemed Nigerian girl would be with you.

Remember:

Only a weak man chases a weak woman.

Goodnight.

emmaodet:
Also, the so called patriarchy, backward african mentality, uncivilized and oppression of women are also the factors that created a way or strategy for men to be backward, uncivilized and stupid anyway by putting a gf on monthly allowance, coming back to nigeria to pick a local wife to UK, canada, US etc, sending gfs/women to school on sponsor, catering for inlaws before and in marriage thereby bringing wife brothers and sisters to home, the man if bouyant sponsoring them, giving inlaws financial support, men asses been hurled to war front to defend the soooo called ungrateful women etc and the list goes on and on and on.
They are only blind and too selfish to see the gains outweighs the loss but has most women think, they all want it all, always gain, gain and gain but No loss.
By the time they get this civilized life they all are yearning for, they will all look back 50 years from now and really appreciate the so called Patriarchy they all are demonizing now.
They all want Freedom, they all want to be free from been accountable to men so that they can live their life the way they want and to the fullest.
Unfortunately, Freedom is not that cheap as they thought, freedom is Expensive because when freedom goes into a room, Commitment exits the room at the same time. They both can't be in the room together.
If a boy is crying for freedom from his parents so that he won't be accountable to them, so that he can have his apartment and go out and in whenever he likes, then he should also be prepared to feed himself, pay nepa bills, house rent, clothing etc because Freedom is Never Free nor Cheap.

ubuja
Martinez39s
Pansophist
franchasng

@crackkhaus, what did the highlighted speak to?

And I am talking 'Nigerian patriarchy'

MrBrownJay1:
sadly, in this day and age, women have no self-worth and their desperation will have them do whatever nonsense to be married at any cost.

there are so many things that have more value to these women than self-worth....SOCIETY, MARRIAGE, MONEY, BEAUTY etc... also, you cant expect someone to act right when they hungry/desperate and cant even afford 3 square meals a day.

One of the reasons I created the thread.

The quote in the OP just summarized my thoughts on the matter.

Hopefully, more women chose right and take responsibility for their actions.

Davash222:
I think you should tell Seu.n to create a section for ladies where you girls can be consoling yourselves.

You better develop yourself to worthy of the woman you think you deserve.

NextD18:
Weather wants it deserve, I don't care.

Because an unmarried lady without her hymen intact is not qualified to set standard for a goat, let alone a man for marriage.

Not because they deserve less but because I strongly believe in my opinion that a man marrying a non-virgin is just like a man practicing beastiality.

To all virgin ladies out there who are blessings to humanity, set standard for yourself and make sure you value and marry a man that truly deserve you.

Everyone has the freedom to want whatever they like; the wanted also has the freedom to determine who deserves them.

It is not your call.

OlawaleBammie:
No one out of the parent would toss the richest fried rice with a whole chicken at you.

they all perform same options just in different manners.




Should i even tell u i love my dad dearly more than my mum? yes i do and i hav my reason

Did you read the first post I quoted?

And you can love your dad more than your mom; it is normal depending on your circumstance.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Any post that doesn't sync with your dead "Mosquito" brain isn't worthy of being applauded. Why? Do you perhaps have an underlying issue with women that still hurts? Just so you know, we're not the cause of your mammoth problems. You really need mental evaluation.

Please sheath your sword.

I don't want the thread derailed.

Davash222:
Night newspapers on rampage.

I'm outta here.

Thank you.

The thread is primarily for ladies to learn and choose well.

emmaodet:
Also, the so called patriarchy, backward african mentality, uncivilized and oppression of women are also the factors that created a way or strategy for men to be backward, uncivilized and stupid anyway by putting a gf on monthly allowance, coming back to nigeria to pick a local wife to UK, canada, US etc, sending gfs/women to school on sponsor, catering for inlaws before and in marriage thereby bringing wife brothers and sisters to home, the man if bouyant sponsoring them, giving inlaws financial support, men asses been hurled to war front to defend the soooo called ungrateful women etc and the list goes on and on and on.
They are only blind and too selfish to see the gains outweighs the loss but has most women think, they all want it all, always gain, gain and gain but No loss.
By the time they get this civilized life they all are yearning for, they will all look back 50 years from now and really appreciate the so called Patriarchy they all are demonizing now.
They all want Freedom, they all want to be free from been accountable to men so that they can live their life the way they want and to the fullest.
Unfortunately, Freedom is not that cheap as they thought, freedom is Expensive because when freedom goes into a room, Commitment exits the room at the same time. They both can't be in the room together.
If a boy is crying for freedom from his parents so that he won't be accountable to them, so that he can have his apartment and go out and in whenever he likes, then he should also be prepared to feed himself, pay nepa bills, house rent, clothing etc because Freedom is Never Free nor Cheap.

ubuja
Martinez39s
Pansophist
franchasng

If catering for one's bills is the exit to Nigerian patriarchy, many women have exited the door tete!

Miarose:
I agree with you..40%.

Awareness creation is very important.
Humans have been on earth for thousands of years, but the most progress for women was made in the 20th century. Awareness campaigns drove the changes in policies and laws that you and I benefit from today.

Right to vote
right to education
Child marriage abolishing
abolishing of circumcision
abolishing of breast ironing

etc
these rights that we have today were fought for , and the battle still continues,the fight has not ceased.

Heck, in some societies like saudi,women just won the right to d[b]rive.. in 2019!!![/b].Education levels of our northern nigerian girls are still so low..

This is true feminism, not husband and wife power struggles.

I think a day awareness is enough with rich content tackling issues worldwide.

Davash222:
You can do better.

Says the poster who struck out the whole OP without a rebuttal

Teddiie:
I totally agree with you ma'am especially 1 & 2.. I thought I was the only one that feels we don't need multiple days to celebrate a woman...

I wish I could like your post a million times

Thanks a lot dearie.

We will get there.

crackkhaus:
Yea well, just take a compliment

Thank you.

thorpido:
I pray they know the difference and most importantly not just what they also want but what is of good and enduring value.

Amen!

Aba ide?

AfroKnight:
That anti spam bot needs an update. very annoying thing.

As in.

crackkhaus:
Simple.

You live in Nigeria, you were born and grew up in Nigeria, your socialization and education is Nigerian-based, you got married by Nigerian cultural standards, you're not restricted from any movement, your rights are not trampled on, you're not dead yet... all of this has happened and still happening within this so-called unhealthy Nigerian version of a patriachal system.

I also know for a fact that as you are now, you don't practice the alternative which is matriarchy, in your home, in your family (extended & nuclear), in your workplace, in your social interactions and gatherings... so unless you're suffering some kind of life-threatening mentally-degrading social injustice right now in your life Bukatyne, then the patriarchy has been of immense benefit to you as far as your earthly existential journey is concerned.

These are not personalized benefits of 'Nigerian patriarchy' neither are they for women only.

This thread has deviated from the point I was trying to bring out.

In another news, ope o! anti-spam bot has unbanned me.

To think it was a yeye thread it banned me for.

*Does he wants you or does he deserves you?*

You know that moment when your belief or idea about a topic that you go on and on for 30 minutes is summarized in a single sentence?

I came across a beautiful quote today:

'Sis, know the difference between a man that wants you and a man that deserves you!'

What is a want?
To have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for. The fact I want or wish for something doesn't mean I deserve or have worked hard for it. Right now, I want a life where I work hard for three months, meditate/write for five months and trott round the globe for the reminder four. Have I worked enough/put systems in place to afford that type of life today? NO!

What does it mean to deserve?
do something or have or show qualities worthy of (a reaction which rewards or punishes as appropriate). Other synonyms are 'merit', 'worthy' etc. Before I can be said to deserve a thing, I must have proven myself worthy to have it.

It is the responsibility of every woman to place a value on herself and choose a deserving man.

Enough of 'this brother is evil/dog/bla bla';

Sister, what premium or tag did you place on yourself? Why did you choose a man who wants/fancies you over the one that have proven worthy of you? Let's assume brother pretended to be worthy, the minute he showed otherwise, why didn't count your losses and move on while noting what made you make a mistake of choosing him?

Sister, do you love yourself and have a healthy self-esteem? If you claim to have, why are you with the guy that treats you like shit? Why are you casting your pearls before swines because you think you can't do better?

What has made you settle for less?

In your quest for a worthy man (note that every woman ultimately determines who is deserving of her and lives with the consequences of her choices), are you also a worthy find?

Would a man you find worthy or think you deserve find you deserving?

Food for thought.

thorpido:
Some guys want to be the first and if a lady knows that she has found such a man and she wants to keep him,she may lie

Unfortunately, anything built on lies would crumble.

healthserve:
Brilliant. Exactly how I would have put it myself. The problem doesn't lie in the private part. It's fraudulent to present oneself as what one is not. Hence it's a case of fraud and should be treated as one. Every an reserves the right to agree to date and marry a nonvirgin and shouldn't be refused this right of choice

@Bold:

What should be done?

OpatolaEsq:
Actually these things happen. Some persons are just too desperate.

I don't doubt you.

I just think it is stupid.

Jman06:
You wonder what man marries a woman just because she is a virgin
Me too, I wonder what woman marries a man just because he is rich?

Let us both keep wondering.

Wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder...

OlawaleBammie:
Dat is what am sayin na, after i tot about it so well, den i was left wit no options dan to disagree with you on ur take

My question is simple:

Who would you gravitate towards?

The person who gave you a plate of white rice with egg well packaged and smiling or someone who tossed the richest fried rice with a whole chicken at you?

crackkhaus:
Well I just basically repeated her words.
I don't believe it's unhealthy, at least not in the sense that it is destructive.

As much as you people will not admit it, you are benefitting from patriarchy, she is benefitting from it, women are benefitting from it.

The alternative is not something any of you want, let's not kid ourselves.

Enlighten me,

How do I, Bukatyne, benefit from the Nigerian version of patriarchy?

blazer90707:
Exactly most Nigerian father's do not build an emotional relationship with their children. They are hardly ever present sef . They feel is just providing for their financial need. So children tend to bond with their mothers who were there for every single thing in their lives and not just being a provider

True.

emmaodet:
Buka pls try harder.
A financier or the person that brings the money most is the most important.
The one who pays the piper dictates the tune.
Do you know that, no matter how hard you laboured at church, cleaning equipments, sweeping the floor, dusting the chairs etc
The man who doesn't come to church regularly but calls and give the pastor enough money to run the church program will be more valued than you? Simply because what you are doing can be replaced with a paid cleaner but getting good financiers for the church is harder.
Without the money, the church programs won't run thereby closing down the church.
A father that goes out so that the family can run smoothly should be really valued because without that, the children may end up becoming thieves and prostitutes due to the mother struggling to pay the bills.
Mother's love and care is not enough when there are bills to regularly clear.

Did you read the person I quoted?

And money is not the most important thing in Church administration; I know firsthand.

OlawaleBammie:
TRASH.
TRASH
TRASH











This is my first tym of canceling a post, just tink about wat u wrote and tink about ur father's imperious sacrifices all this years.....

You should be the one thinking about what I wrote in relation to the person I quoted.

gypsey:
It's strange no one ever asks, how did she make the money for the house? not even parents. Nigerian parents never ask their sons or daughters how they make money as long as they build house for them.

An international footballer?

Odiegwu.

Stillthebest:


Is that her dad sitting?? Why sidelining fathers even after so many sacrifices.

Your dad had 5k durin the weekend hoping to buy 3k fuel for his car for the coming work week. You came to his bedroom on Sunday morning to ask for some 5k needed in school, that you never told him before. He yelled, angrily but still gave you 4k keeping 1k for himself(his plan is that he won't buy fuel again but that he would use a pub to work for that week with the 1k left).

You left Dad's room unhappy because he gave u 4k out of 5k with a weak "thanks sir"

Met your mom and told him to talk to her hubby..why? Asked your mom "he only gave you 4k from 5k u asked"

Your mom said don't worry I will give u money. She entered her wardrobe to add 2k to your already 4k to equal 6k. It means u still have 1k left after school 5k
You got to school on Monday, update your WhatsApp status littered with your mom's pictures. " You are the best mom in thr world"
Your dad's pic was no wherr to be seen on your status neither any eulogising.
Do we call him the worst dad in the world?

This what many dad's go through.

They will only build houses for mom and never dad.

Watching Amvca days ago, everyone that dedicated awards to parents only did to their moms. No person mentioned their dads.

Does it mean No father is good?

Ever heard of attitude?

Using the example you gave above:

Who would you appreciate more?

The person who gave you a plate of white rice with egg well packaged and smiling or someone who tossed the richest fried rice with a whole chicken?

Sometimes, it is not what you give or do, it is how you present it.

Elove1:
Wow are you telling me she bought this house with her football skills or bedmatic skills
I just comment my reserve
Anyway success is success in anyway says my ibadan brothers

Bedmatics?

If she is involved in any transactional sex, she would be the one paying.

She earns enough to foot her bills.