₦airaland Forum

pazzini:
Pls, I need advise on how to really handle this issue. My girlfriend wants us to be talking every day and I sometimes get bored by that. Even when I try to avoid her at least a day by telling her I don't have airtime, she would call me even if she doesn't have airtime she would borrow. Kindly advise!

Do you love her?

Only one case and they are shutting down schools.

South West is still doing Van Damme.

Start the story from the very beginning.

lalasticlala:
A sex worker was spotted rocking a face mask because of coronavirus.

Watch video below


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVqvux0Xjro

Mumu

You are afraid to contact Corona through your mouth yet willing to spread your legs for anybody.

If one of her clients have Corona, hope she would magically avoid his sweet and Othe secretions.

CsRockefeller:
You people are wicked. How can someone who just want a man to be happy with be reaching out of her league?

Chisos!! What type of world are we in? Is being a single mum a punishment or a disease?

Let me talk any further. You guys here make me weak everytime.

It is her want to want:

Does she deserve the men she wants?

It is the men to decide.

And hanging around men who claim to like/love you and marry someone else is seriously time wasting.

Of course, the truth can sound wicked sometimes.

Let her in addition to prayers review the men she is rejecting.

The wife just had another baby after losing two and the man is making it about him?

He is thinking of leaving home?

The wife might be better off without him.

@OP:

Are you asking us a question or educating us?

UjuJoan2:
Maybe you are setting your sights too high. Those men you desire may be well out of your league.

You may be beautiful, loving, and generally a good person, but when it comes to marriage, men tend to go for people in the same social cycle as them. In other words, they want to marry from a good family, or someone with a good job, someone that presents a good image. Now, you are a single mother without a job/business, I'm not sure how that fits.

You need to bring down your expectations. You say men are around you, but you have no interest in them? Why? Maybe you think you are better than them, but when you really think about it, you are not. Maybe what you really need to do is to give one of them a chance.

Forget all those men claiming they love you and yet walk out on you to marry someone else. The did not choose you, and for that they are not your friends.


And there is nothing spiritual od diabolical about that.

@divaluvmiz:

Read this over and over.

I very much believe in the spiritual sha.

Pray very well to know if your parents don't have a covenant with a family idol. When people do not fulfill their promises to these idols, it backfires except he/she is a strong believer.

You might be reaching out of your league which is a recipe for heartbreak.

emmabest2000:
HBD



To all haters on this thread ....

Hahahahahahaha!

Abi na.

sassysure:
The question can be directed to women.

Most women don't know what they want.
Or,they assume they now what they want.

Then again, if u know what u want, u can be in a position to ask that vital question

The question is actually to women.

UjuJoan2:
Very well said, sister . . . very well said.

I pray I'm able to impact this lesson on my girls.

Amen.

That's why I create threads like this.

crackkhaus:
I didn't say it's God's plan, but I can name multiple people off the top of my head who were polygamous and still God's people.

The burden of proof is in you to show they are sinners and in hell fire.

Remember, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

How can the burden of proof be on me?

You brought hell, sin and all the works here.

@Bold: You don't even want to go there for this.

crackkhaus:
The funny thing about this your preference for God's patriarchy is that somehow you don't support polygamy, which is great part of it.

Before you go on rampage, search for the specific verse that forbids men from practicing polygamy and share it with me.

@bold:

Burden of proof is on you:

Prove where polygamy was God's plan.

Why go on rampage when I can ignore?

ibkayee:
I don’t believe in karma per se, but I believe in the cycle of the cheating Nigerian man, side chicks finally settling down, and experiencing the same thing they put another woman through with her husband. It’s all jokes until it’s you

The typical story.

Didn't even watch, Goodluck to her.

crackkhaus:
I wasn't so serious either...

Educate us on these huge differences between the two.

Let me not start with Nigerian husbands this morning

I have dashed them to our corresponding sisters who understand them.

https://www.nairaland.com/5405788/fatherhood

crackkhaus:
I noticed that you do, have seen some of your comments agreeing with him too..

I do agree with some of his stuff:

It is only a low self-esteemed woman that would accept the treatment of women he prescribes or cannot handle a man who respects her. Like an analogy I gave on one of his threads,

When a lady sees herself like a rag and a gentleman treats her right, she would see him like a fool and maltreat him.

Like my signature, I don't subscribe to blanket treating all women/men like ladies and gentlemen. They need to earn it.

crackkhaus:
Is not me you are doing oo, na yourself you do...

The worst thing a person can do to themselves is to lie to themselves and believe it.
It will create problems within their own consciousness..

This is probably why you believe there's such a huge difference between God's patriarchy and Nigerian patriarchy.

It is not so serious

For all it is worth, I am not so keen on relocating despite surrounded by people who are planning to jet out. So I am not coming from 'the West is better' POV; I think they are too politically correct on stances they should be more decisive.

And there is a huge difference between God's patriarchy and the Nigerian version.

unmask:
Sure they can be learnt but after marriage one probably has a mindset that is rigid and would find it hypocritical adjusting to a new way of thinking or doing things.

Marry an open-minded person.

An 'adventurous' non-virgin girl today can lock up two years after marrying her if she is not ready to evolve.

crackkhaus:
Now you're talking, it really does go both ways.

But yes, I understand this thread was meant for the ladies.

It is for ladies however, guys can and should learn.

If something is not teaching you what to do/have, it is teaching what you shouldn't.

That's why I read Ubuanja's posts and enjoy every lady to do so.

At least, note the type of man you/your daughter don't deserve.

thorpido:
Idi oko.

Have a great day.

emmaodet:
If the woman has her own money to do all those things, 2 things come into play.
It is either she looks for a richer man to pick up her more expensive and extravagant lifestyle who she believes is in her class and not ready to settle for less thereby starting the whole circle again.
Or

She stays single, which means marriage is not for her, thereby any patriarchy law does not affect her. We see linda ikeji, ini edo, kate henshaw, Genevieve all stay put single or else they see a big pocket to finance their expensive lifestyles before they go into it again.
To women, marriage/relationship is strictly business and the gains must outweigh the suffering no matter how small before they commit.

Nigerian marriages!

A man & woman can't decide they want to build a life together, raise kids that would be useful to the society and f&&k legally?

It is all about money!

crackkhaus:
Regarding this, I have one question...

Are you human first before Nigerian, or Nigerian first before human?

I am not Nigerian at all

I am human.

emmaodet:
Then if that is the case, why still screaming patriarchy why den don leave am tete, what is the problem again? Why the victim mentality? What is it they want men to do again if we agree they have been liberated.
What is again? Then what is the problem Bukatyne.
You all can go to school, work virtually everywhere, buy your own land and build, buy your own car and drive without been harassed, pls what else again? You can have it all in Life bcus even we the so called men are not finding it easy also

Oga Emma,

I don't know what to say and I don't know where the victim mentality ish is coming from.

I just opened another thread telling women they have to choose right and live with the consequences.

Let me leave you Nigerians to enjoy yourselves.

crackkhaus:
1. That something revolves around money does not imply it falls under the category of bills.

2. This is a big IF.
How many women really prefer spending their own money doing those stuff? Abeg try come back down to earth oo.

3. I juss dey look you dey laugh. God's patriarchy versus Nigerian patriarchy.. You like God's own, but don't like Nigeria's own.

You should have just stayed in heaven and not be born, assuming there's even any stark difference between the two.

It is too late to cry over split milk.

I am born and bred in Nigeria, I design systems to my favour.

As always, I will open threads tailored towards a lady designing systems to her favour.

I am nice like that.

And honestly, I am appalled by the Nigerian concept of a number of things especially marriage.

Nigerian husbands, Nigerian wifes, Nigerian patriarchy, Nigerian Christianity, Nigerian Bible...

I dash una!

crackkhaus:
I see, but here I was thinking that delaying responses was just because you were kinda busy.

Sometimes, I am and I don't visit for days/weeks.

Some others, events overtake the discussion and I am late.

Some others, I read the comments, see they are daft and move on to avoid getting into a brawl.

Our opinions are shaped by our experiences and expectations. While I might feel an opinion is daft, neither I nor anyone else is qualified to rubbish the base experience and/or expectations.

Especially when I am not the OP.

unmask:
I am not interested in marrying a virgin.....most are usually not adventurous and socially awkward.

And adventure & social unawkwardness can't be learnt?

I agree with the OP that Virginity doesn't guarantee good marriage: lack of doesn't either.

@Donald3d:

Fantastic input, God bless you and family.

crackkhaus:
That disclaimer in your signature about mentions has been there going on 2years now.

Don't you like improvement, or has the spirit just refused to go?

This delayed response is great improvement.

It is easier to ignore daft comments when I decide to respond days/months after.

crackkhaus:
The first set of bold letters have absolutely nothing to do with bills. Those are cultural behaviours/expectations foistered on men by a patriarchal system, which women enjoy.

Only the second set dealt with bills...which is why I said, how is it you summarized the entirety of that post into just bills?
That's besides the point anyway.

The important question is, are you as a woman ready to practice matriarchy in all its healthy glorious beautiful form?
This is what I want to know.

You sure?

Sponsoring a girlfriend in school, marrying a wife, putting girlfriend/wife on allowance, catering for in-laws etc. while cultural expectations all revolve around money.

If the woman in question is willing to spend her own money and do those stuffs, what other 'cultural obligation' does this man have?

It is not about what I want or do not; God has instituted already Patriarchy.

I studied what it meant according to the Creator and married someone we both aligned.

MrBrownJay1:
we all know (deep down) whats right or wrong, but due to circumstances, we have to understand that many have to do what they gotta do (regardless of what it is). also, social media is fukcing up with people's common sense, so they look at the fake nonsense they see on the Gram/FB etc and are even more desperate to achieve something they may not deserve "yet". so they do whatever madness to burn bridges and FLAUNT what other yeye people have/do on social media.

btw this is not a gender issue as so many MEN are in the exact same "lack of self-worth" boat!

Very true.

Just wanted to talk to my ladies joor.

A guy can read and also flip:

'Does this babe deserve me'?

crackkhaus:
That took forever.

Were you thinking or asking permission from someone?

8 days timeline is not bad considering some others.

My disclaimer is in my signature

Davash222:
Why this pain all of a sudden?? Guilty conscience?

Davash222,

Good night.

The thread is for the ladies, your opinions are noted.