BitCraftman: The problem here is evil communication. It corrupts good manners. Her problem escalated when she started feeling less attention or satisfaction, and these started when she started hearing about other peoples experiences. She didn't know what she was missing until she started gearing about others having it better than her. I am sure this curiosity led her to the corper she cheated with.
Kathleens: I have to create another account for this reason, please i need all the advices I can get to save my marriage and sanity. Recently I have been feeling so Hot after I stopped my baby from breastfeeding. My hubby tries his own possible way to satisfy me but after the sex I will still masturbate to pleasure myself cause I will be fantasizing about someone going down on me with their tongue (I have never experienced that in my entire life) my hubby doesn't do that. This has made to fantasize about other guys giving me the pleasure I need, i went as far as searching the internet for gigolos and having this fantasy with them on my mind. This is crazy, I even contacted one and we fixed a date (he promised to go down on me really hot with his tongue) but I bluffed it cause I really don't have the courage to cheat on my hubby though I have cheated on him a million times on my head. I can't even imagine doing it physically but the thought is always on my head. I need to stop this and the frequent masturbation before it ruins me.
I need all the advices including insults, maybe the insults will reset my head. I am 32 years with four kids. Thank you
Have you communicated with your husband?
Does he know you fantasize about MouthAction?
Does he know you masturbate because you are not satisfied?
What other pleasure do you need apart from MouthAction?
And if you are so proactive that you sorted for a gigolo online not minding the risks, have you applied this same proactivenesd with your husband?
And is your desire to cheat on your husband (have sex with another man) or be more sexually adventurous and satisfied?
If it is the latter, you can switch things up with your proactiveness.
My first few years of marriage I felt like I was still single. I still wanted to test if women were still attracted to me, I wasn't at my best behaviour. I was a big reckless but fortunately for me it seems my wife didn't know or acted like she didn't know. After a while, I realized it wasn't worth it and I feel I have become a better husband after realizing that these people don't even come close to being half the woman my wife is.
The moral of this story is that, most young married men are adventurous. Theh still believe that 'dem dey market ' and are still appealing. The bad part is that this adventure can either destroy the man and the marriage, or it make him a better man.
I have no further contribution to make. Just sharing an experience
Does this allowance also extend to your wife?
Would you be equally understanding if the OP was a man?
1. Husband was very selfish sexually. He knew he was not performing optimally yet was fine because he was satisfied. In his words, the wife was very good/sweet. He is also egoistic: instead of him to see how to improve their sex life if he was still interested in the marriage or walk away, he decided to kill his wife because 'she exposed him.'
2. Since the wife knew sex was important to her, she should have married the first guy. But no, she married a financially stable man who wasn't good in bed and started wailing aka having her cake and eating it. Since the husband is open to giving her mouth action, I believe with better engagement, she would have gotten him to be a better lover. But in her usual character, she is all about now and not willibg to invest in anybody. Guy 1 was good in bed but poor: dump him. Guy 2 was rich but poor in bed: dump him. Guy 3 now is good in bed and yet to determine him pockets. I am sure she would have dumped him if after a few years he was not rich or comfortable. She is a classic fair-weather wife. Something even tells me that it was the husband's money she was using to maintain the corper and corper shun was only singing marriage to eat aunt's money and body. She did not even tell him she was married, she said she was separated.
3. Corper Shun, not much to say. You were sent to serve your father's land, you decided to serve other men's wives. Keep wasting your strenght on a married woman. Your reward is coming soon.
An advise to virgins: As you already know, there are some very selfish men who hunt virgins because they are poor, selfish, inadequate lovers.
Please read up on sex. There are very good books on and offline.
The fact you have never had sex does not mean you wouldn't know when a man is bad or not.
djon78: Very true only those that grew up in face me I face you have this kind of mentality. In the home I grew up in babies have there cribs, children have there own room while daddy and mummy have there own room. Everyone must respect there own space.
I was shocked a lot of posters think children should share same bed with their parents in a normal marriage.
My marriage will clock 2years in few months. We have never had any serious issue to warrant serious argument, my hubby is a responsible fellow. Recently i noticed few things via his phone. (We don't check each other's phone except on occasional cases e.g i help with his phone when ringing by calling his attention. We also know each other's password) Recently, I noticed few notifications dropped on his phone which warrants me to check further,I discovered my hubby make consistent calls to a particular lady, the lady also calls. my hubby also initiates romantic chats on WhatsApp with this particular lady and 2 others. He deletes all this chats before he sleeps, but i was able to come across few. The consistent call is visible on his call log. I don't want to bring up this issue but am not comfortable with all this. We are expecting our first child in few weeks. Please advise how to manage this issue.
ericsmith: I believe the world "wife" is inappropriate for a career lady, a wife wil alway be available while a career lady has little or no time to spare 4 hubby or kids. left to me a career lady shuld av no businsss in marriage.
Is Omotola a working wife or a career woman?
Was Dora Akunyili a working wife or a career woman?
Ardar: Most Nigerian men I chat with always ask me the same boring dumb questions like, " did you eat today" "What did you eat this afternoon" "How was your night" "I hope you dreamt good dreams"
The annoying thing is not the questions itself but the number of times am been asked the same thing by one person.
Now, you don't see women opening threads and whining about Nigerian Men because of this.
Modified
If you don't want boring answers, stop asking dumb questions.
What happened to you bringing interesting topics?
If you keep starting interesting topics, the guy would naturally up his ante and be mentally prepared when chatting with you.
Mstick: Yes she did and still does. I think that’s was the catch, because according to her she found someone that understands her. He was a good guy, churchy, always fasting and loving her. His mum is a retired educator, his sisters are graduates.
She wanted it to boost up her chances of getting a better job then in an Oil company. According to her people with MSc where given special entrance since it was a community thing.
Believe me, she regrets it so deeply because with four kids to feed and other bills to pay how does she even want to bring up the MSc topic without being tagged unsubmissive and greedy.
ericsmith: i think there is a difference between a "working lady" & a "career lady". a working lady will make compromises when necessary buh the later will alway put her job above every other things. there was a lady i was dating 2yrs ago we were both serious, one nite we were jus discussin her job, the chances of transfer and she said if we're married n she gets a compulsory transfer she wil go, n i said what if we had kids, she replied they will be with you naw .. funnily !!
I know and used them deliberately because a career lady would always be a working wife.
Mstick: It depends on what you term early tho. My friend in university got married fresh out of school to one of our course mates, he made her believe she would be able to go for her MSc after the birth of their first child.
15 years later, 4 kids no MSc. People are unpredictable, a good person today may not be tomorrow.
What was the belief system of the guy? What did he appreciate in women? What kind of women were in his family? Why did your friend want the M.Sc?
Mstick: The life of a woman is damn if you do, damn if you don’t.
If they marry a woman that’s willing to let go of her ambitions she becomes a leech meanwhile an ambitious woman would be seen as a feminists and whatever hilarious name they can come up with.
@bold, I strongly disagree.
The one of the tricks is to get ready for marriage early so you can patiently screen for a man whom you both share same vales and work towards achieving them.
There are many good men and there are many bad men.
Kennedyiheme: I am talking about the biological wall, dont prioritize your career or education over family.. thats if you want a family of your own.. i see alot of these feminists advising women to not give in to societal pressures and chase their careers, don't listen to them, the truth is you cant chase a career just as a man would.... sperm does not wither.. 100 year old men can still have kids... so its unwise to compare your career path with a mans.. make the right choice
IDEALLY, the earlier a lady thinks of marriage and kids, the more quality younger mate she can find, the earlier the she has kids and the earlier she can achieve whatever she wants to.
Prosper82: I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.
My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.
Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.
Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.
So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.
As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex. So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep. This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.
I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.
We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.
I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.
Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do. We have a lot of fights because of this.
I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?
What do you guys think?
@Oga Prosper:
I don't know your 8yr old daughter sleeps in your room.
The poster below said it: You leave all parenting decisions to your wife.
elektra: What I want to know is what kind of parenting YOU are practicing. Because it seems your wife is the only one making parenting decisions. The easiest way to fix this is for both of you to make parenting decisions together.
You don't like the kids in your matrimonial bed? Tell her and set up the guest room for the 8yr old and the crib for the 7mths old in your room.
If your wife is worried about the safety of the 8yr old (I don.t know why she could be), you both check on her once at night.
Also learn to communicate: You feel your daughter should sleep independently: Tell your wife, she is not a witch.
Your sex life is dwindling? Tell her.
Stop feeling things or wondering how to tell her; create a cool atomsphere for discussion (probably after food) and raise your concerns.
And please do not reward bad behaviour: You do not need to 'date' your wife before she has sex with you or do her other duties.
Please note I am not saying you both shouldn't date/ court yourselves; I am saying do not do it to cajole her to do what she needs to do.
Do it as recreation; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
RisenPhoenix: Of course it does not. While one is giving birth amd taking care of children, you concentrate on another one. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.
And of course living the life.
Men are living the life in polygamy: Women would fight to cook for you, fight for your attention, fight to sleep with you, fight to even care for you
Vortex369: Well, your last line was a question: What I think?
Are you sure you really want to know what I think?
Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.
I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.
The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.
You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?
My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.
It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.
You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.
Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?
Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.
You have no inkling about what marriage is.
By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids.
If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue.
Ladylite: This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.
I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....
By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.
Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.
I hope this is clear
@bold :
This is the husband rewarding what he doesn't like.
Then there will be no incentive for the wife to listen to her husband.
And sex in marriage is not hers to give. If she wanted to have the sole rights over when she dishes sex, she should have stayed single.
@OP: I did not know how to tie gele and we were having our Final Year Brethren send forth in fellowship so I looked at the mirror and told God to help me tie the gele if He wanted me to get there early.
He did once and since that day, I became very good at tieing gele.
Family › Re: Wife Dumps Her ‘One-Minute’ Husband For A Corper In Nasarawa by bukatyne(f): 7:21pm On Jan 24, 2020
