₦airaland Forum

Nice video.

Kelechi009:
I am male, my Sister is going through some issues and its draining since we live in the same house. Rubbing off on me.

What issue is she going through?

crackkhaus:
Quite simple really.

I'm a firm believer in not going against those personal principles you hold dear regardless what life throws at you.

The world is much too chaotic for one to simply go with the flow as it comes.

You don't like what you don't like and that's fine.
Be with someone who represents your values.

The problem however is that despite what we type here, the OP and others like her will still end up with that community peniis, simply because, they were never firmly rooted in their principles.

Kelechi009:
That's my issue, every good girl i who has NOT been successful YET in either career or getting a spouse early enough usually makes this statements.

I feel like they regretted not being wayward, i mean why envy your friends doing RUNS because things haven't worked for you.

Also the type of things they support online, even though they don't participate in it themselves shows where their heart is.

@bold:

I firmly believe in this.

A good person is not only about what they do/don't do.

It also includes what they support or wish to do if there was no inhibitions.

Kelechi009:
It can feel very hurtful marrying a community penis meanwhile I kept myself before marriage.

Aren't you the OP?

Are you male or female?

If you would feel hurt marrying a community penis, don't marry one.

EOD.

Awesome01:
I think this guy needs to download and watch this 2006 movie called "PROVOKED" featuring Aishwarya Rai. There you will see the extent a woman pushed to the wall can go just to escape or revenge.

Continue boasting about beating your wife, when she's tired of the beating, she will retaliate in ways that will surprise you.

Thanks

I usually call it 'Battered' whenever I want to reference it in a post.

Chi59:
Put your sister or daughter in her position and you won't shine your teeth. That guy dragging leg will mostly japa once she gives birth. Remember he hasn't done even introduction. There's nothing holding him to commit.

If that is her fear, then she would have pressured the guy to start the marriage process.

crackhaus:
What has an engagement/introduction got to do with having a big wedding? These are very separate events.

She's really not interested in getting married to you , and going by her family's insistence on aborting the pregnancy, I don't think they are interested in having you as their in-law either.

Sorry.

No strength to type plenty tonight.

@bold: That is the koko

If she really loves you or plan to marry you, the pregnancy would have been her leverage to hasten you to marry her if you were initially stalling.

She does not sound like a woman with a plan for her life sha. At 29, thinking of abortion when she is pregnant for a committed partner READY to marry her.

If she terminates the pregnancy, good bye to the relationship.

The family are also very irresponsible. Edging a 29yr old to abort instead of mandating her to bring the man responsible.

In this case, the apple did not fall very far from the tree.

Grandma sef is coming from the villa to support abortion!?

Tufiakwa!

Ori mi ko! Awon irankiran

Abi the pregnancy is NOT yours?

Cc: KingEzo.

beryl4:
There is a mix up in this story ohh.
This is the first wife, Esther whom he threw out because of Obehi (the second wife).
It is the 2nd wife Obehi that allegedly slept with a gateman and not this one!!!

The plot thickens.

bigiyaro:
this is why its a Man's world in Africa, who is suffering now? women are naturally wired to bear some things.

Maybe the women around you

lucky4west:
i know this story, it was around 1998/99 before i got into UNIBEN, this woman was the envy of all, you would wished she was your sister, wife, aunt, mom etc because of the cash and loads of goodies around her...but alas! she lost all due to her love for sex claiming the guy was too busy to attend to her..see her now...wasted destiny

Since she was a housewife, why didn't she travel about with him?

xband:
Oh, it's now she remember she was once the wife to a billionaire? When she was busy doing 'shakara' for the man, she forgot a day like this will come. A day when all those beauty and 'shakara' will end... Let her go and beg the man for forgiveness.

When did she do shakara for the man?

You guys should give us full gist.

Destined2win:
I'll like to get the full story

Very important

Thegeneralqueen:
It's so sad her husband left her in this terrible situation i hope she sue him

Huh!

When did the first husband leave her?

When did she become homeless?

Roroapple:
Money will only get u d type of woman u want but struggle will get the type of woman u need

The problem is if the woman he needs is also the woman he wants.

fatymore:
She bleeped up if she has started dating someone else

As in.

I don't see the problems to warrant a split.

Incandescent:
Women should learn to take care of their body for themselves.

How can a married woman learn to take care of her body for herself?

Who is admiring her body?

Who is her body for?

tungamaje:
When my son impregnated Amaka, I didn’t reject the pregnancy. I was already used to seeing them together. When it was clear to me that Ibrahim was the owner of the pregnancy, I started taking care of the girl as my daughter-in-law.

Madam, that's not how it is in Igbo culture. If you want to get a daughter-in-law, first approach the parents and pay dowries

Did the parents of the girl tell the parents of the boy to do marriage rites and they refused?

Abeg!

Obinrin ti o ba bimo ni eni ti ju ale re.

crackhaus:
Reading the above now, it actually does make sense.
I mean, when has having a successful abortion ever made young girls become celibate?

Regarding the effect of parents training kids properly to have a healthy self-esteem, yes that helps. But there's only so much parents can do especially when it involves teenagers (girls & boys).
If I didn't know better, I would have held the opinion that teenage girls with good parental training ALWAYS make better choices, but alas, it's still not always the case - peer pressure is a big deal at that stage in life.

I personally know a girl, she must be going to 18 this year. I know her parents quite well, the type that are very hands on and quite protective of their daughters. If you saw this girl Bukatyne and she tells you her age, you would scratch your head because she has that Joselyn Dumas kind of build. Her ass is so massive you could sit a glass of water on it comfortably and it won't spill.
Now even with all the good, responsible, and christian upbringing, the moment she got admitted into University, she began hanging around Gboys (Yahoo). Even featured in a music video for one of them upcoming artistes and all she's doing in it is of course showcasing that her massive ass. All this, while still in her first year.

I remember telling her sometime mid last year when she posted a snippet of the video on her stories, I was like Eliza if you are not careful with the company you keep, you will lose your focus in that school and start amassing carry-overs, or you will get pregnant, or worst case, you will be gang-raped, and any of this can break your parents' heart.
I like to think she paid attention to that, but I'm not holding my breath - person wey wan spoil go spoil.

Trust me, what we call training here is not training. It is reaction to lack of training and mumbo jumbo rules that the parents cannot even explain.

Just like God when He facilitated the New Testament (relationship with Him & empowering us to do the right thing through the Holy Spirit) through the birth and death of Jesus because rules (Old Testament) cannot do it, parents must realize that they need to know their kids individually and tailor training, discipline and coaching to suit them.

They must also recognize the individuality of that child and celebrate it.

Looking back now, my mom tailored her training to suit us. When I was much younger, it was 'avoid boys so you don't get pregnant'. One day, I told her that I was no longer interested in hearing that since she wasn't talking to my brother (in retrospect, I have no idea. My brother was also not there when she was talking to me) and she switched the narrative to 'I am beautiful and intelligent. I should be patient and get a man that would complement me. I am made for great things and a bad decision can ruin it'.

Different things, same results.

Obviously, when I met my husband, it was will he help me achieve my dreams? I wanna do great things

I find that a lot of parents cannot balance boundaries and freedom. It is either the children feel caged or are left loose like wind.

The idea is individualistic 'freedom' within the boundaries so they can express themselves and explore else they are lured by the illusion of 'freedom' going with their peers bring. They also do not discover themselves so they do anything for acceptance.

It is a lot of rewarding work.

ubunja:
that rag analogy is fire.

Men must know the easiest way to get a woman is to treat her how she treats herself. Because how she treats herself is the surest indicator of how much worth/value she sees in herself. Treat her better than she treats herself and you'll infact make her resent you. Many women go for trashy men because inside that's how they see themselves.

A woman's self esteem has no correlation to her beauty or level of education. Self esteem is what a person sees when they look inside themselves. A woman may be drop dead gorgeous but if she thinks she's ugly then no amount of praises and compliments will make her see that beauty. A whole book can be written on the issue of self esteem and how parents are badly failing their children, especially girls, by not growing their self esteem from an early age. Because the words of a parent carry that rare weight than can make a child believe in her inner beauty.

A big indicator of a girl with a low self esteem is a girl who can't take a compliment. When I tell a girl she's pretty and she blushes and mumbles she's not pretty I know I have an easy target on my hands. I load the proper settings and harvest her.

Absolutely on point!

Like I always say, I wish young girls were reading and learning.

crackhaus:
Lol, even worse when the 'someone' is not having headache anymore and you're still drinking the panadol for them.

When pregnancy entered and Ibrahim's family happily claimed responsibility and were willing to play their part, her parents should have just let go.

The young man is even responsible enough to empathize with her ditto his family.

Sometimes, in a bid to react as e dey hot, we are blind to the true cost of our reaction.

They lost their daughter Amaka and the grandson while Ibrahim and his family would move on with the baby.

Worse case, Ibrahim mourns her for some years and moves on.

They should be punished according to the law.

We4all:
I'm someone who gets along great with kids, (especially those in my former neighborhood). There is this particular family whose kids always come around, and they have a 2 year old who happens to be one of my favourites.

When she is around with her older siblings, I play with her and she lets me hold her. In fact, we get along great! Last week, they were at my place, and her older sibling volunteered to run an errand for me. The 2 year old wanted to go with her, but I objected.

That was my undoing! As soon as the sister stepped out, the kid became furious with me, and wouldn't let me touch her. When I tried, she kept screaming that I should leave her alone. I held her hands and tried talking to her, but she wriggled out of my grip. I must confess that I was amazed at her strength, which was like a 10 year old.

Hours passed, and I thought her anger had died. I made an attempt to touch her, but she kept screaming: "Leave me alone". They eventually left and I forgot about it.

A week passed and they came by yesterday, but to my greatest shock, she was still mad at me. All my efforts to bond with her was met with a stiff resistance, and she kept saying: " Leave me alone". I asked the sister what she thinks of her behavior, and she said the kid gets angry easily at home and her anger can last for days.

That revelation didn't go down well with me, and I have been pondering what on earth would make a kid act that way? Gone are those days when kids are usually sweet and innocent. No matter how much you discipline them, they still warm up to you.

I guess a lot is going on and the change has also affected our kids. If a little kid is overly sensitive in her ways, then what should be expected of an adult?

Since the change is sudden, are you sure nobody is abusing her?

This is why I usually prescribe working at it especially when there is no adultery or genuine abuse.

Fareee123:
Hi elders in the house, I'm a lady, I'm 21 years old. There's this guy I've been dating for about 3 years, we got along so fast that it feels like I've known him all my life, he's in his final year and I'm in my third year, not in the same school though.

He used to call and text often until middle last year, he stopped calling like he used to, I still do the calling, but I got tired, he wasn't reciprocating, when I complained, he said he's always busy, I feel that if he loves me like he claims, he will always check on me, whenever we're together, the vibes of the relationship is still there, but when we aren't together, he's a different person.

There was a time I broke up, I blocked him, he found a way to reach me and we ironed things out, he changed for 2 weeks before he went to his normal self. He answers to my needs guys, he has been paying my rent since my first year in school, he gives me 10k every 2 weeks, he pays for my hair when I need him to + other stuffs too.

Do you think he can change or do I just leave the relationship?? Please ignore the errors, I'm not perfect.

Financially, he meets your needs even though you claimed you really don't need the money some pages later.

You claim that he was communicating fine the first two years of the relationship. Have you gone the extra mile to determine waht changed? He is currently in 400L, have you visited him to know how he is really coping with his project and stuff? Do you know what he does to make money?

My advice:

Go visit him at school one weekend with home cooked meal and know what is really really going on with him. Lay your concerns about communication and be prepared to pick up the second leg of the communication.

Then you can know the next steps.

madjune:
Anytime you're tired, pls give me the guy's number.

I've a sister in our church who's been praying to have half a guy like that for years.

What do you know about the guy apart from the fact he spends money on her?

crackhaus:
Lol, I hate being part of an echo chamber given that some posters already corrected you...but yea, if it got to the customary court, then someone initiated a divorce.
Obviously, this would be the wife since it's the man who is against it in the OP.

Ok,

Lemme stop drinking panadol for someone's headache.

Cc: frozen70

eyinjuege:
It's a customary court, and someone must have asked for a divorce for them to be there. Obviously the wife asked for the divorce, as it states the husband still wants the marriage.
The customary court isn't going to settle the- attempted murder/'trying to burn her alive matter'. The courts dissolved the union not just because the wife wanted it, but because there is a genuine threat to her life.

I don't believe the petrol story.

A woman really afraid for her life would not seek a divorce; she would disappear with her kids.

izzou:
[color=royalblue]So who took the case to court?

Everything must not be written in ink before it can be understood

The wife obviously filed for a divorce. And the husband is objecting. [/color]

Go through my discussion with crackhaus.

Naijaboy1122:
Government and CRS

What are your best subjects that you excel in?

Blackmiserable:
1. You didn't answer me with regards to polygamy. What metrics do we use to gauge someone who really love, adore and respect their spouse?

2. You mean a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still lust after other women or marry another woman?

3. A man cannot love his first wife above the other women he married?

1. By the way they treat them.

2. No, he can't. Can he be tempted? Maybe. However, he will always remember his vows due to the love and respect he has for his wife.

3. No. A second wife is usually married because something is missing in the first, (real or imagined) and/or Greed.

I might make exceptions in case of marrying a second wife due to childlessness but again, the man can decide to stay without kids, adopt or get a surrogate mom.

Maybe I should ask your definition of love and respect.

crackhaus:
What else is to be done than to scold her, ground her, and then accept the unborn baby?
After all, that's my grandchild.

My major issue is the kind of boy she got pregnant for, this is even the bigger disappointment.
Teenage girls hardly ever pick the most responsible boys to date & shag, its always the worst of the pack - the type you'll see and you look at your daughter and wonder if she was switched at birth for not having your sensible genes.

@bold:

I believe if parents properly train their kids and ensure they have healthy self esteem, the girls would be able to choose guys who are responsible because they have respect for themselves.

When I see a lady (teen, young, old) with a man who is irresponsible and doesn't respect her, I automatically know that the lady doesn't respect herself or think she deserves something good.

@Topic:

She has the baby.

Apart from the sin of abortion and the attendant conscience pricking, I feel abortion would make the girl loose and unguarded.

She would feel if she gets pregnant again, she will just abort it.