₦airaland Forum

CHoccolaTE:
Personally I don't feel hurt when I bear grudges against those that wronged me. Infact I feel better because I know I will get back at them eventually since I haven't forgiven. Not everyone is the same.
OP is free to do whatever makes her happy, I no force am to follow my advice.

Hmmmm.

I guess everyone should know themselves.

crackkhaus:
1. That takes us back to my initial question - for someone who has no interest whatsoever in continuing with a marriage, what is the 'mature' way to go about ending it 'in the spirit of marriage'?

2. How do you think he did it. Like he called the community together and then told them collectively?

1. In the spirit of marriage, they both look for a solution.

2. The bold answers you:

visaland:
Everybody was in shock yesterday at Ebelle community in Edo state as a man returns his wife to her parents saying the woman's virginal will swallow him up if nothing is done about it. The community was amused how the man identified as Osamudiame Iyobosa could be that childish as to return his legally married wife for such flimsy excuse. The man who dropped his wife at her parents house in ubiaja in a green coloured golf 4 told his in-laws that many people must have slept with Edeki for her virginal to be that wide
The couple before now were living at upper mission road in Benin city. It was said that Edeki was merely recommended to Iyobosa. However, a man who sells palm wine near ubiaja market admits that the man may be right, according to him, Edeki was a well known flirt in the neighborhood and that no indigene would have married her. He said they were all surprised when Iyobosa came from Benin to marry her. Some young girls even started flirting saying that flirts are the most lucky ones using Edeki as example of a lucky flirt
The parents of Edeki were said to have been very angry with their inlaw for exposing their weakness publicly. The mother of the girl according to a witness was said to have called Iyobosa half man. They said this is strange as no man have ever done that to the community by returning his wife for having wide private part. The worst was that Iyobosa told onlookers that his wife had expressway pussy

crackkhaus:
Hearsay... The details may be quite different from the way you heard it.

The only foolproof method capable of making vagina feel brand new is surgery - vaginoplasty.
Local treatment or level exercises will never make it as tight as new.

Hausa woman have stuffs they use or her parents can save up

Besides does the husband want tight or tight as new?

CHoccolaTE:
Its unfortunate that the man left you all these years when you needed him and then comes back like a typical entitled brat Nigerian man to demand forgiveness.
Ignore people telling you it's solely your fault for having your kid out of wedlock. First of all, it's both your faults. Yes
Sorry but it's true, although that is not important now.
S[b]econdly don't feel obligated to forgive him, feel free to continue being angry with him doing let sentiments make you believe you must forgive. You can relate with him with all the hatred and anger intact inside your heart[/b] but make sure he takes care of his son, make sure he provides very well and is emotionally available, this could be a bit difficult but the truth is that if you try to separate both of them, the boy will still find a way to locate his father in future and might hate you for keeping them apart.

You can exact little acts of revenge now he has come back into your life like misplacing his car keys or other vital items etc. I know that's what I'd do.

Or you can follow your conscience and keep trying to forgive. Na you sabi

@Bold:

Funny you don't realize that she is hurting herself more.

Forgiveness is for you and not for the offender.

And forgiveness doesn't mean she reconciles with him romantically.

crackkhaus:
Lol, it's like you don't know how your own countrymen speak in parables.

Can a wide vagina be fixed, and if so, is it her parents that will do the fixing?

The man is just saying in essence that the marriage is over.

According to theories, yes.

I heard of a guy who said his wife was wide after childbirth and sent her home to her parents to use local stuffs and they returned her new.

crackkhaus:
1. Taking a woman to her parents' house and complaining about her vagina means the marriage is over and this is not the kind of problem to be finding a solution for, especially when she did not get wide after giving birth to his children.
He certainly did not have sex with her before marrying her, else he would already know how she feels down there. So it actually makes sense that he feels shortchanged.

2. How the whole community found out is very simple if you can deduce it. The OP noted that such a thing had not been done before in the community (someone returning his wife), so it follows that the news will spread quickly and the first question on everyone's lips will be WHY.

1. Let's assume the marriage is over. It is against the spirit of marriage to just return the wife except he has told her severally and she ignored his feedback.

2. Bros, he told them himself. Even the OP stated it. I am sure neither the parents nor the girl herself would tell the community that he returned her because her Vjay is wide.

Prettiedame:
Poor you. I pity you and I pity your wife in advance

I really do.

crackkhaus:
Lol, so you don't know that's sarcasm for 'I no wan marry again'?

The man doesn't strike me as someone who would use sarcasm if he is bold enough to dump her there in the first place.

It is strange the story teller has no reaction from the wife.

crackkhaus:
Two separate issues here:

1. Where should he have dropped her off, or rather, what should someone who is intent on not staying married do to avoid being called childish?

2. No where is it said he used a loudspeaker to announce it.
He informed his "in-laws", and I'm pretty sure this happened inside their house.

@1: The man did not say he did not the marriage anymore. Besides, he & his wife should have worked out a solution to the 'problem.' If everyone returned their spouses home for every issue, we would have serious chaos. I applaud the husband. Other men might have committed adultery instead.

@2: The whole community knows the story

visaland:
Everybody was in shock yesterday at Ebelle community in Edo state as a man returns his wife to her parents saying the woman's virginal will swallow him up if nothing is done about it. The parents of Edeki were said to have been very angry with their inlaw for exposing their weakness publicly. The mother of the girl according to a witness was said to have called Iyobosa half man. They said this is strange as no man have ever done that to the community by returning his wife for having wide private part. The worst was that Iyobosa told onlookers that his wife had expressway pussy

crackkhaus:
Absolutely, it's a natural occurrence he had no hand in, and it's something he should not be condemned to suffer in for the rest of his life.
He probably never had sex with her before marrying her.

I still believe he was "kind enough", especially going by the way men usually throw their wives out of the house.
Even in more developed countries, it would be unusual for a man to drive his wife to her parents' house just to tell them he is not interested anymore - it more often gets settled in a court after a fight.

This man acted like someone with regard for his in-laws, this is why he should be commended.

But he did not end the marriage, he said his in-laws should 'fix' her for the marriage to continue. See the bold.

visaland:
Everybody was in shock yesterday at Ebelle community in Edo state as a man returns his wife to her parents saying the woman's virginal will swallow him up if nothing is done about it.The community was amused how the man identified as Osamudiame Iyobosa could be that childish as to return his legally married wife for such flimsy excuse. The man who dropped his wife at her parents house in ubiaja in a green coloured golf 4 told his in-laws that many people must have slept with Edeki for her virginal to be that wide
The couple before now were living at upper mission road in Benin city. It was said that Edeki was merely recommended to Iyobosa. However, a man who sells palm wine near ubiaja market admits that the man may be right, according to him, Edeki was a well known flirt in the neighborhood and that no indigene would have married her. He said they were all surprised when Iyobosa came from Benin to marry her. Some young girls even started flirting saying that flirts are the most lucky ones using Edeki as example of a lucky flirt
The parents of Edeki were said to have been very angry with their inlaw for exposing their weakness publicly. The mother of the girl according to a witness was said to have called Iyobosa half man. They said this is strange as no man have ever done that to the community by returning his wife for having wide private part. The worst was that Iyobosa told onlookers that his wife had expressway pussy

crackkhaus:
What's childish about the way he handled it?

Going to drop the girl at her parents'; embarrassing them by publicizing the issue.

missmishel:
I feel like hurting him before I walk away. It will make me feel better. I guess

That is the lie of the devil.

missmishel:
An ex boyfriend left 6years ago when pregnant with his child for no reason. He never care about his son. Nothing matters to him except himself. I struggle all by myself.
Suddenly, my ex came back with an appology giving inrelevant reasons why he left.
He wants me back and his son.
Looking at him, all I feel for him is deep hatred.
What's the best way to revenge on this guy?
How can I hurt him back?

What do you think?

How exactly do you want to revenge?

You were in a relationship with him, he bailed out when you were pregnant and came back after six years claiming to be interested in you and child.

If you are not interested in him, move on.
If you are, weigh his excuses and see if he has changed and start afresh.

Success they say, is the best form of revenge.

Forgive him and let him become a father to your son financially, mentally, socially and emotionally.

pcguru1:
Same here, when I was overworked, and losing sleep it made me cranky and snap at the slightest provocation.

Kpele

visaland:
Everybody was in shock yesterday at Ebelle community in Edo state as a man returns his wife to her parents saying the woman's virginal will swallow him up if nothing is done about it. The community was amused how the man identified as Osamudiame Iyobosa could be that childish as to return his legally married wife for such flimsy excuse. The man who dropped his wife at her parents house in ubiaja in a green coloured golf 4 told his in-laws that many people must have slept with Edeki for her virginal to be that wide
The couple before now were living at upper mission road in Benin city. It was said that Edeki was merely recommended to Iyobosa. However, a man who sells palm wine near ubiaja market admits that the man may be right, according to him, Edeki was a well known flirt in the neighborhood and that no indigene would have married her. He said they were all surprised when Iyobosa came from Benin to marry her. Some young girls even started flirting saying that flirts are the most lucky ones using Edeki as example of a lucky flirt
The parents of Edeki were said to have been very angry with their inlaw for exposing their weakness publicly. The mother of the girl according to a witness was said to have called Iyobosa half man. They said this is strange as no man have ever done that to the community by returning his wife for having wide private part. The worst was that Iyobosa told onlookers that his wife had expressway pussy

I join the community shock!

It is very very embarrassing from the husband and I agree he was childish in handling the situation which might also be a desperate attempt at fixing the problem.

I am very interested in the reaction of the wife and what the report meant by 'the husband publicly exposing the weakness of the wife'.

I also want to believe that the husband did not start complaining the day he dropped his wife and if there was something really wrong with her, they should have found a solution together.

The man anyways implied the parents fix her daughter if they want the marriage to continue. I also salute his courage for taking the hard way out. It was easier to pretend all was well with his wife and sleep around than bring her back to her parents' house and demand a solution.

People should stop discarding their spouses' feedback and work towards a solution.

As for the girls imitating the alleged promiscuity of the wife because she got a 'better' husband, ride on.

Addition:

It is naivety or 'burying one' s head in the sand' to think that sexual promiscuity would not have any effect on the body.

Anything we do to abuse our bodies (male & female) has an effect. Too much standing, sitting, frowning, hard work, squinting, typing, working on excel, sex, alcohol, drugs, staring at TV, phones and laptops, smoking etc etc.

It is the body from birth we are taking to the grave.

Use it well.

Another one collapses.

Was the wife planning that this day would come?

Queenellahrose:
I’m writing with so much pain in my heart because my only child is giving me lots of trouble , she is 14 ever since I had her I cannot conceived again , My husband and I went trough lots of tests we are all okay and perfect so we had to accept that God wanted us to have one one daughter for now and we are still believing God for more children. Where do I start we are nigerian leaving outside of Nigeria ( African country) for the past 8 years we also took along my husband niece who is now 17.

My daughter was a very nice and obedient child working hard at school and has always been making us proud but everything changed when she turns 11yrs she started getting in trouble at school my husband and I are always called for meeting about her not working well and fighting with her classmates and she get punished almost everyday we as parents had heart to heart talk she had made clear that she doesn’t like school and want us to enrolled her at music and dance school , she was only 12 me and her dad were against we had convinced how important education and all we want is the best for her to finish school to have a better job and she can do her music and dance too later.

She was okay and we kept encouraging her and praying for her, things started to get a little bit better even school complained become less . Three week ago I usually leave the house at 6am for work ,hubby leaves before me and the kids were still at home getting ready for school and around 11am I received a called from the police asking if I’m mrs o and chi mum I said yes I started panicking because I taught maybe she had an accident or something, the police officer asked me to come at the station.

I rushed there and what I heard broke my heart in pieces , he explained to me that my daughter and niece and other girls were caught at a hotel with boys smoking , drinking and having sex actually somebody called the police because they had noticed that under age children entered the hotel which it’s a offence so when they police came they had arrested all of them and took them to the station requesting them to give parents details and that’s how they contacted me .

I was ashamed and couldn’t controlled my tears I wept bitterly because when I taught my two girls are angel in fact they were doing the unthinkable , I bailed both of them and I just hated them I didn’t even talked to them to avoid beating them badly , but later when hubby came I didn’t hide anything from him , he was so angry that he flogged them mercilessly , I felt bad for them but the both deserved it , we took their phones away , tablets and tv in their room and they are banned from going outside apart from school and when they both get back from school , they will eat and go and spend the rest of their day in their bedroom until nighttime.

My husband blamed me for everything saying it’s all my fault those girls are becoming bad , the truth is he is the one that has been spoiling them with expensive phones , tablets and designer clothings and pocket money , I was against him pampering them so much because I knew it will become to this but he has always told me he work hard for his children to have better things and now they had become bad , he has put all the blames on me forgetting that it’s all his faults. We are not in talking terms for three weeks and he is not eating my foods anymore. The whole things just give me headaches and sleepless night, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep my head want to explode with too much thinking

I am honestly wondering why you and your husband are fighting when you both should come together to salvage the situation.

You said your daughter changed at 11. What changed her? What spiked up her interest in music?

You both should engage the girls better to understand why they chose that lifestyle and how.

The how, you block it (change school, take their gadgets etc.)

The why, you train them on why they should make better choices.

Goodluck.

makydebbie:

"The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face."

-William Makepeace Thackeray

I have come quite some way and met phases that drew me close to giving up on myself and my purpose. But here I am, still typing whatever this is going to turn out to be. Lol

I am grateful to God for the gift of life. So grateful in fact because I know it is not by my deeds that I am alive today. He is the major reason why I live.
I am grateful to my family too. They did the best they could. Their love and support, genuinely expressed and showered.
My friends too, mehn, what would the world be without awesome friends? Can you honestly answer that? Well, I am grateful for them too.


Today as few or some of you know is my birthday and I am using this medium to show my gratitude not just because it is my birthday but also because of what this particular birthday carries for me in the realms of life significance.
This is a birthday that marks the beginning of another chapter and huge phase in my life and I am so excited because I know where I am headed. Despite the twists and turns I have encountered, one thing that has remained ever constant with me is the unbroken resolve to keep pushing and moving towards that place where purpose meets the fullest manifestations of my desires and ambitions.

It really has not been easy. I have had my close shave with death not once or twice or even thrice. But through it all, here I am.

A million dreams are still keeping me walking and fighting as I grow more and more into my purpose and life ambitions.
The brightest colors of my dreams keep me working and toiling to ensure that my tomorrow becomes that which a 9-year old me once prayed for.

It is my birthday and I am thankful also to this platform, NL for allowing the opportunity to meet and rub minds with certain beautifully minded and lovely individuals.

Makydebbie is thrilled to share her birthday thoughts with you all and in the spirit of my birthday, I want to share a small bright gift with you all.
*Whispers *
More like a secret. I'm here to tell you about it.

I have been working on a project and although it is not finished yet, it is actually at a very advanced stage and in time will be fully ready. Now, because NL is my E-family, I want you handsome guys and beautiful ladies to be among the first to know about a new work of mine that will be officially released soon.

It is an art that surely will blow your minds away and feed your curiosity to its depths.

Allow me to introduce you to...

DEAR TALES

"The inevitable thoughts of a wounded but brave heart."

This is a carefully composed work of fiction that will take you on a journey into the mysterious and into the depths of what it means to be held under the weights of the unknown. I promise you guys, it is a work you will enjoy investing your time in and feeding your eyes with.

So yeah, there you have it.
My first work to be, out soon. My first book as a writer and blogger.

In conclusion, I just want to say that indeed Life is a gift and we just have to make the most of it. It is okay to dream, but what is more important is the work you are willing to give in to make your dreams and desires come through.

Like someone once told me, "Life is a gift from God to you, but what you do with it, is your gift back to God."

Happy Birthday to me. Thanks y'all.

#DearTales #Anticipate #Makydebbie'smusings #E-book #Theunveiling #Dzifa #Birthdaygirl #Bookpre-launch #Grateful #Unshaken #Teacher #Blogger #Model #Writer #Author #Gratefulheart #Happy birthday to meeee..

Stumbled on this and just got it on Okada Books.

Good one.

Hopefully, I will remember to give a review here.

eni4real:
Ex Boyfriends have no responsibility of providing for a wife and 3 Children.. He may not be a serious student sef.. Idling around taking Horse Power, Marijuana and Tramadol to explore different erogenous Zone in the Lady..
Have time to watch porn and practice all the sex style he learnt on the lady while the lady was enjoying the pleasures the bring!!!

The lady was supposed to marry him... But she knows that the guy is only good for sex.. He has nothing else to offer as far being a real man is concerned!!!

Such lady will not settle for those that have increased their sexual appetite to a very high level..

They want hardworking men who are responsible in all front and still expect him to have the same sexual prowess as the student Boyfriend and the idle more youthful Corper??

How about that!?

That husband is trying, he was even giving her MouthAction, what else does she want... Stroke game??

I hope that man does not die of stroke in an attempt to add stroke games to all his routine daily activities to keep wealth up!!!

Solution: Both of them should fix the sex issue.. They should seek help.. It is their problems.. The woman has no marital right to leave the husband alone on an issue like this!!!

The selfish one here is the Woman , trust me...

She relegate her husband and 3 Children just because she want the erogenous zones (created by his student Boyfriend) satisfied!!!

Shame on her!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Will respond tomorrow.

MissGodOwn:
Don't worry, can't start explaining, but I loved ur analysis. Keep it up. Goodnight.

Ok o, da'alu.

Tutukpon.

eni4real:
I am afraid, a sexually a inexperienced man will be too "inadequate" for this type of lady..

She was sent to school for education but she spent all of her time sleeping with guys who have successfully discovered different erogenous Zone in her Vagina. . She can never be satisfied by a man who does the basic sexing!!!

She has successfully turned marriage to a glorified Prison where the husband is sentenced to hard labour of satisfying all the erogenous zones created by her student boyfriend....

She even have the audacity to leave her 3 children to pursue an irresponsible Corper..

She is a shame to womanhood!!!!


Sex issue is a couple thing... You don't tell your busy husband to fix it alone... You solve it together unless there was love lost between the 2 of them!!!

Love is a scam!!!

Ki ni mo ra nigba e Eniola?

So you agree that sex is a couple's thing?

Do you know these people because you are taking it P?

From the story, she slept with only one guy in school , she did not spend her time sleeping about and why should the husband be content with basic sex? The woman he wants to marry forever?

You see, this is the classic behaviour of the natural human. We put our best foot forward in temporal things and begin to slack in more permanent things.

Why should ex-boyfriends see the best of a woman's youth, attentiveness, beauty etc? Why should ex-girlfriends see the best of a man's care, sexual prowess and love?

Wouldn't it make more sense if we keep these things for our spouses whom we intend to spend forever with?

MissGodOwn:
Ur moniker for starters n u really wrote like one.

I have a bright big F in front of my moniker. I guess you are not Yoruba else you can easily guess one of my names.

I write like a man how?

Mandeyy:
That woman has a high libido. Besides, she should have sought a solution to her man's problem with him. That's love. Some women complain that their husbands don't provide for their families, but this man does. I don't blame the guy who said that it's good to marry a virgin. The problem with this woman isn't totally her man, but the previous relationship she had while in school, where the guy hit her hard. So, she used that yardstick to judge her husband, not knowing that all fingers aren't equal. When it comes to virgins, both of you will learn together, because she hasn't been exposed to big dicks. But in the case of women who have done it with several men, if their husbands don't match up their games, it becomes a serious problem.

@bold: I agree

I would not want to mix providing with sex in this context though.

Her previous relationship aside, I think the husband should have taken her feedback and acted on it.

Dayodragon:
So you read that the wife just saw the corper and without sleeping with him? and she had d gut to tell a man who paid her dowry?? What disrespect, irrational and stupidity is greater than that?
To absurd you tried to cover her in the incident. She received what she wanted.. nonsense

@bold:

Even more absurd you trying to project that I 'covered' the woman.

MissGodOwn:
I'm sorry, I thought u were a male.

Why?

pocohantas:
Bukatyne can you beat this?

So, the idea is to coverup their poor stroke games and small penis. Subjecting a daughter of Zion to a lifetime of poor sex.

Isn't this marriage built on false impressions?

You are right, very selfish entities. I wonder how many of them are out there.

@bold:

The selfishness was evident from the first virgin post.

Obynolee:
I think the issue here is not poor sex life but sexual incompatibility,Talatu seems to have a more sexual desire than Audu and that happens because most Nigerian girls marry who is ready not whom they love because of over rating of marriage.I pity Talatu anyway because of her poor handling of the situation, she will loose at the end.

Poor sex, sexual incompatibility etc is part of sexual problems.

I think most people in Nigeria don't marry for love.

That's why they think of jumping ship at first sign of trouble.

E.g. instead of the wife to look for creative ways to solve their problem and husband to listen, she became the land corper shun was serving.

MissGodOwn:
Never before have I read a more matured judgement on nairaland by a male on this subject of cheating, apportioning blame correctly to all parties involved. Thumbs up sir nobody would have written it better than u.

Male ke?

Abeg, every spirit of transgender, I rebuke and reject!

Obynolee:
It's important that they ask because artificial plenty these days oooo

Ok o!

The girls jumping about will hear

Wouldn't they get all the nonsense the guy drinks from his sperm?

Everybody should just marry fresh, be open minded, unselfish, creative and lock up with your spouse.

eni4real:
Surrogate Mother is better ..

Modern wives have turned Marriage to a glorified Prison...with hard labour of sex...


Single guys, I will advise you to prepare for the future now, if you want marriage

Ensure you have sex with as many as Ladies as possible now...
Modern wives have pornified Marriage already!!!

And they were not having it before?

And when did multiple sex partners make husbands good in bed? It is NOT of previous partners that makes a husband a good lover; it is the attention to detail, thoughfulness, love for his wife, unselfishness, creativity and open mind that makes him one.

A virgin husband with the above characteristics would make a better lover than a used up man who is bringing not but the baggage from his numerous previous lovers to the table.

And I prefer virgin lovers. Let us explore together. Don't bring thousands of demons to the matrimonial bed.

Was the husband in the OP a virgin to say it was because he lacked experience?

Go and read the book of Solomon in the Bible and come back to me.

Mandeyy:
A daughter of Zion isn't a sex pervert; a sex pervert is a daughter of Satan. Don't complain if your man satisfies you sexually without providing for you. When a man goes out to hustle for his family, he's already weak by the time he comes back. This also reduces his sexual performance. And that's why reasonable women make good homes. They study the mood of their husbands and help their men to treat them well, sexually. Remember that this very woman is a housewife, while the man provides everything. I'm sure if she were the one providing for the family, her sex libido would have reduced after the bustle and hustle of life. To be a man no easy.

What has sexual perversion got to do with this matter?

Perversion
Although most often used to refer to some sort of psychological corruption or abnormal behavior (usually sexual), the word perversion can actually refer to anything that is used for a distorted or wrong purpose. https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/perversion

Sexual perversion is an aberrant sexual practice and there are seven types:
Paraphilia: abnormal sexual activity
Exhibitionism, immodesty: the perverse act of exposing and attracting attention to your own genitals
Fetichism, fetishism: [/b]sexual arousal or gratification resulting from handling a fetish (or a specific part of the body other than the sexual organs)
[b]Paedophilia, pedophilia: a sexual attraction to children
Voyeurism: a perversion in which a person receives sexual gratification from seeing the Instruments of others or witnessing others' sexual behavior
Zoophilia, zoophilism: a sexual attraction to animals
Paederasty, pederasty: sexual relations between a man and a boy (usually anal intercourse with the boy as a passive partner)
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/sexual%20perversion

My question to you sir is explain how a wife wanting her husband to satisfy her sexually a sexual perversion?

And is sexual satisfaction and providing mutually exclusive?