₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Every other thing aside, birth control pills really do have an effect on the brain's chemical composition. That bit should not be thrown out with the rest of the exposition.

Infact, anything medicine you take affects the brain's chemical composition.

So what do you propose in lieu of birth control?

Even if a woman is an housewife all through her life, she wouldn't give birth all through her reproductive life.

mikolo80:
why not
that is what the village public toilet is for successfully covered up careers abi simples

It is only a village dog that will be content with sleeping with the village public toilet and a decent girl wouldn't want to tangle with such.

If you haven't seen successful wives with careers in your cycle, it's your loss.

Water should always seek it's own level.

Farmerforlife:
Madame, I will inform you of the stark reality of your situation...stop basing your values on hysterical telenovelas.

Where were you when they were spending sleepless nights taking care of your husband for the first 3 decades of his life, making him into what he is today? Now you want to come out of nowhere into the picture and take him away from doing his duty to them. If my wife made a similar statement, that would be the beginning of the end of our marriage. When you marry a man, you marry his family, it is not an either... or... deal. If you are so fragile that the presence of his family affects your health, go stay in a hotel. They want to exercise their right upon their child and grandchildren.

No offense intended.

I want to believe that the parents have no daughters or they did not take care of them too?

haywhy1026:
I dont kno why all these girls are not conscious of the fact that they are disgracing their generation......Your breast did not just grow saggy...let us kno those guys that sqeeze the life outta those boobs so that we can charge them for murder...

I attended a boarding house and I can tell you for a fact that not all boobs are as a result of multiple partners.

There are different shapes and sizes.

My problem with her is exposing it.

If you haven't got it, don't flaunt it.

LeOstrich:
Let me explain something to you young men here and I hope you listen because I learned the hard way.

I am in the middle of a divorce right now with a woman I loved for years. In learning the hard way, I have swallowed "red pills" way beyond the scope of what many consider to be a red pill.

I had taken my wife's virginity, so the idea of having to date a used up hag in her early to mid 30's is horrific and not even conceivable for me it's like someone saying "well now you have to Bleep goats."

If you actually have had a virgin that loves you, you realize that having it any other way is like dating a used prostitute.

With feminism and birth control and condoms I now believe that MOST women are essentially dykes. If you aren't making babies and being the man (meaning boss) of the house, your dick may as well be a dild0.

The pill changes women's brains and hormones. You can research all the studies done on this. I believe it turns them into a bizarre kind of half-man over time - a sor of lilith because esentially sex is supposed NOT to be only for recreation but to make babies which most untainted and virtuous women desire most in life. As a man your role is to ensure she is taken care of and protected and her children are also extended that privilege.

My wife gradually became less and less feminine and more career-oriented as she began her career and I saw her drifting away and being more concerned with her job than her own and only child. Not my fault she did not have another child as she got a job less than 2yrs into our marriage and just less than 8mths of our child's life. We did the whole family planning thing instead of me using a condom for the sake of not getting her pregnant in-order not to jeopardize her new job which I must state here, I was foolishly at the time in support of her working.

I must confess that she wasn't ever the same after we started family planning both mentally and sexually. She became a bit frigid and emotionally cold in between having hot flashes of heat.

I have friends who have gone through the same thing. At some point in their late 20s, if a woman isn't bearing children and they're on the pill, they transform.

My advice to you guys is NEVER EVER put your wife on the Pill. Yes, she can have a job or career or whatnot but if a job is infringing on her role as your wife and mother of your child it isn't in anyway worth it. Trust me, she would be much satisfied being at home taking care of her children than working in a misogynist environment.

And to all you career ladies, I am not out to attack you but want you to know that when and if at all you get married in your early or mid-30's, it will be to a man who is exponentially more whorish than you. The marriage will be pragmatic and depend wholly on what each of your bring to the table but it will be devoid of true love.

My wife is gone for good and that's because I allowed her get a job and put her on the pill which was not what God intended for her.

If your wife was not working and you were done having the kids you want to, how would you prevent pregnancies?

I agree that people would abuse the access to contraceptives for casual sex.

And that is where out agreement ends.

Like others, you seem not to understand that unlike other vices, sex takes two or more to tangle so both parties male and female must uphold the virtues they want. Loose men = loose women and vice versa.

Men cannot want the license to have free sex and expect their women to be chaste..... except they want to be sleeping with goats and sexdolls.

@Your wife: it is pitiful that things have broken down this way and you feel that pills are responsible for it. I do not know your story and cannot dispute it.

All I know is that other women have taken this pills for eons and led successful families & careers.

If you decide to take another go at marriage, please marry a woman who has similar views in terms of career.

Hmmmmm

The tragedy of reality dawning late.

Anyways, better late than never.

This confirms my point: Nobody can be happy childless except they are into a mission that makes them influencial enough to be fathers & mothers to people.

majekdom2:
you can't hide your plans from someone you love.

Using this analogy, can we say a lot of men don't love their wives?

GrammarCheck:
You should be more supportive. I married in 2009, I had multiple cysts, no ovulation as well. I ran from pillar to post. Did all sorts of treatment. Finally, after 5 years my husband said STOP! Let's just STOP and enjoy our lives. My mother in law said STOP, let go and let God. I had a support system that made me feel not having a baby is not the end of the world. Doctors said I should come for IVF, they saw one blocked tube. Hubby said no. Infact, he took me abroad for a long awaited honeymoon, after 5yrs. I came back pregnant, even he wasnt expecting it. He said it was too sudden. Can you imagine After delivery, got pregnant with another baby the following month. My two deliveries were 10months interval. With no ovulation.

My husband refused to touch me after the 2nd pregnancy. Said I was a magnet. Took counselling for him to finally come close. He has been begging me not to get pregnant again, but I want twins
With no ovulation.

As I am, I get a period once in 6mths, without intervention. I only know I'm pregnant because I start vomiting. Because there is no period to say 'I missed my period'.

My point is... Be patient, and work with your woman. Who said God cannot turn around a situation? You have given up on your wife, and that is not Godly.

Can two work together except they agree? You need to put away the strange woman and work with your wife. You have only been married 6 years. There is a lifetime ahead of you. These are just bumps along the way.

If I tell you the one my husband did to me. I asked him to inspect a property. He said it was good, he liked the area, it is something he has been looking for. As a the doting wife, I gave him the money to help me buy it. He bought it in his name. The world has not ended. I was angry, but he has my mumu button.

As we are, I have used sense to collect back the money over time. I never said, give me back my money. But for everything I send a budget for, I inflate the cost. Even money for the schoolchool fees, diapers and food. I am shopping for another property which I will buy in my name. I will tell him, for info purposes only. This life is wisdom. So I should have divorced him because he played a fast one on me?

When I confronted him, he said I am a woman, I should be submissive. Ok, in submission, no problem, we will meet on the bed at night, where he cannot say no to my demands.

This your last paragraph na wa

This OP's case is different. The wife has not met him halfway. Our lovers will hurt us and us them however, when you remember the good times or their strenghts, it is easier to forgive.

chronique:
I had to read all the comments and questions that the op was asked, before commenting. I have seen a lot of foolish comments from some ladies here and I can only feel pity for the men they end up with. Now,let's get to the main isht.

Marriage is for better for worse like they say. It's for two people to come together and become one. It is supposed to be a partnership,not a one person's show.

I'd take these issues one by one.


1: You married her against the wish of your parents. This proves that you love her,and you were ready to damn the whole world to be with her. Not many spouses,end up marrying once parents from one part,kick against the union.


2: You talked about footing all expenses as regards running the house, and actually "giving her what she says she needs,not what you think she needs". This implies that you tried as much as possible, to meet all of her demands.

3: She started building a house without your knowledge while you were struggling to pay rent in Abuja and lagos,simultaneously. She only told you about it when her pastor scolded her and when she wanted to borrow money from you to roof it. You gave her the money but when she had 200k and you asked for 20k,she refused. Your wife is a selfish idiot that doesn't deserve help. I dislike such people. You also talked about how you lost your job and how she would leave you with only 200 naira to eat until she comes back from shop... If she gave that from the meagre resources she had,it would not be a problem. But if she had more than enough and gave you just that, she must be a very wicked person.


4: You talked about how you got a job in Abuja and your fortunes changed after you lost your previous job,and all she asked was that you resign and come and stay in Lagos... Stay in Lagos to do what?

5: You talked about how you asked her to come to Abuja so you can get her a new shop and restock it but she declined cos she didn't want to lose her clients in ogudu... Your wife is selfish,lacks wisdom, isn't serious and doesn't strike me as someone who was ready for marriage.


I'm not absolving you of not having any faults but if your wife truly did these,then I'm sorry to say you do not have a wife yet. When a lady is carrying out an important project like building, and the husband doesn't know, check well for the third party who she is talking to. I've had experience of a married woman buying land and even wanting to build but the husband wasn't aware she even had a land. Our affair was short(no sex involved and was just emotions and feelings)and I managed to cut it off before it grew into a big thing. Just like you provided everything for her,this lady's hubby did. I never gave out a dime but I knew what she wasn't saying to her hubby. Find out who she is confiding in. The distance between you guys,isn't helping matters and her medical issues, complicates everything.


I don't know you or how much you can take but if you can salvage this situation, it would be better for you both.

Judging by the OP, I agree with you.

I don't know when he started his affair but the husband feels betrayed.

It is no mean feat to turn against your parents and marry someone. I am sure that the parents would be mocking now there are no kids.

The wife is also not getting her priorities right. Her focus now should be kids.

Anyways, I see that they have gone their seperate ways.

Goodluck to them both.

XhosaNostra:
Nah, I'll pass.

XhosaNostra:
Lol, then it'll never be. Who wants to be used? I'm not looking for marriage either, but I like the thought of a possibility. Why enter a relationship that's a dead end before it even started? Seems like a waste of time.

It is not a relationship; it is 'friends with benefits'

perez100:
@bukatyne, the man said he didn't rape her but the lady claimed otherwise. Remember, no witness was there. So, you expect the Judge to believe everything the lady claimed and crucify the man? We have seen some ladies with false raping stories.

True ladies have false rape stories which is why I said on another thread that fight for consent and underaged/stranger rape should be seperated.

I believe this woman; she has admitted that she 'enjoyed' the rape so what else does she have to lose?

The man might have been asking her out or a stranger however that night, the sex started as rape.

Remember she is very conscious of her marriage so she would have organised a safe rendezvous for their affair instead of having her knickers torn on the streets in the possible view of neighbours.

BluntTheApostle:
Yes, especially, biologically.

Women are stronger than men physically too?

XhosaNostra:
Example, I met this other guy at a convenience store not too far from my house. He was standing behind me in the queue, so as I moved away after paying for my stuff, he stepped at the back of my shoe & the strap broke. He was kind enough to offer me a lift home since I couldn't walk with one shoe. Anyway, on the way we started having a conversation. I knew he was Nigerian before he even told me, the accent gave it away. He asked if I have a boyfriend etc. And then he told me about another girl he is dating, but she moved away because of work. They're still in a relationship though. Mind you, it is clear that we're both in a relationship at this point, but then this guy asks for my number, telling me that he has a big "thing", he's sure I've heard about Nigerian men before blah blah blah.

See, for me, two things are a no-no. 1) A guy that has admitted he has a girlfriend, but still expects you to be in a relationship with him 2) A guy that knows you have a boyfriend, but is OK with being "the other guy". Nothing screams "whimp" or user more than someone like that, because I believe a guy with sense wouldn't wanna be an option.

Anyway, there's been a lot of similar experiences with different guys. They'll be telling you about how much money they will be spending on you, how big their côcks are & the fact that they don't seem to mind being a side squeeze. None of that is attractive TO ME.

Lol!

I think it is a cultural thing.

Nigerians don't take fidelity very seriously (even if they say otherwise) hence your having a boyfriend means nothing to him. He also won't mind being the side boo because he has a babe and is not looking to marrying you.

BluntTheApostle:
Pounding is a woman's work.

Women are stronger than men. It is a fact.

Really?

XhosaNostra:
LMAO.

I've actually said something similar a very long time ago here, after reading many threads about guys in the so called "no sex" relationships, the "shakara" they endure & the mugu ones being used for money etc. I said, that'll never happen with a South African guy & that is a fact. How some guys do things in Nigeria, is very different to how things are done in other areas. Then again, it comes down to conditioning & being used to certain things. Seems that's what they are used to, to throw money around to attract females. If you notice, that's also what the females expect from the men, from my observation. In other words, Nigerian men & Nigerian females are suitable for each other. They feed each other's impulses. A Nigerian man with a female from elsewhere, is at risk of being used, TBH. Because South African ladies for instance, they're used to a different type of man. South African men aren't the money throwing type. So by comparison, the Nigerian man will appear to be winning the race because of the money-superficial love. In the long run, however, I don't see a relationship between the two lasting imo, because no offence, Nigerian men don't seem to be man enough. There's just something there that seems OFF. I've never dated one in real life because I'm usually not attracted to how they come across in person.

Can you give specific examples?

XhosaNostra:
No, don't get it twisted, it's not about being a "wife material" because that's not my aim or what I'm about.

I believe that every single one of us has an idea or mental image of the kind of man/woman we like. The qualities that attracts us to the opposite sex. I like very manly men & my own personalised version of an ideal mate, is not someone that pounds yam. No, someone like that can NEVER be with me! I Xhosanostra, would NEVER sit down & watch my man do all the housework while I sit there looking like a useless lump of flesh. That is NOT me. I would NEVER feel proud of myself, watching someone else do things around me while I sit there twiddling my thumbs. That's not how I was brought up. I was taught to contribute & earn my keep. Elbow grease & independence was the order of the day at my house, hence I'm not comfortable watching other people do things I'm also capable of doing. I actually don't mind housework, but it must not be expected of me or forced on me. It's one of those things that helps me to get rid of excess energy & relax. It's therapeutic for me. I don't do it to impress anyone. I'm doing it because it benefits me mentally & also because I like living in a clean, orderly space. Finish.

So you have a problem with your man doing all the chores as opposed to him being hands on or helping?

maasoap:
Firstly, the story made sense, not a perfect story because it was real. The perfect story is a fictional one.
Two, if it was consensual, there wouldn't be a torn fabric and marks on the neck.
Third, going by the accounts of the woman, she's mentally okay.
Four, lawyers are smart. They can ruin any case by asking tricky questions. What if it was non consensual but the woman actually enjoyed it? Was that enough not to see it as forceful sex?
The truth was that the question shouldn't have been allowed to stand.

100% on point.

That question was a trick question.

The Lawyer was stupid for asking if she 'enjoyed' the rape. Her feelings or otherwise of the act is immaterial. The question is did the guy rape her?

perez100:
The judge is one of the best in Africa. The victim claimed to have been raped but the Defendant claimed she consented, but no witness at the scene. Now, the judge questions and the answers she got from the victim proved she consented cos you can't enjoy rape. You cannot just bring such case and expect everybody to accept your claim without any proof.

Really?

Ayodeji2k14:
someof these ladies are nymphos.A married woman was raped by armed robbers and she was moaning and twisting her hips to meet the robbers thrusts in her husband presence.Indeed,some women are dogs!

When I see comments like this, I wonder.

She looks very great

Newpride:
Case closed be that.

There's no more rape allegation since the girl said she consented.

She did not say she consented; she said she enjoyed it.

Two different things.

cococandy:
BTW 370 Fahrenheit is about 188 degrees Celsius.

While your pies are baking, clean up the mess you made in the kitchen.

1) before clean up

2) after clean up

Now I feel better about enjoying my pies

See kitchen!

Please create these threads so I can easily access via your profile when I need them.

Welldone.

GOFRONT:
After this protest, some are still goin to hav sex today

Who wan bet with me

Are they protesting against sex or rape?

It is either your wife & step bro are not doing anything funny however lack sense of decency

OR

They are really really psycotic.

If it is one, tell them their relationship is not decent.

If it is two, you are in trouble. The day either party decide to eff you, you are gone man.

@Cococandy:

Lovely meatpies just like you.

Antina:
You are very right my sister!! They are good to go

Lol! Abi na

pelusi:
Se.x is like daily food for me and my spouse.She is so sexy and both of us have high sexual drive(libido) that we make love almost on daily basis at any point in time anywhere in the house,even in kitchen,she may be cooking and on sighting her booty,i will quickly insert my di.ck and she too will respond and enjoy it as well.She can also grab my di.ck at any time and quickly insert it by herself.pre-intimacy is never in our dictionary because our body is every ready.Both of us dont used to be tired of it.Seeing her fair complexioned beautiful sexy body alone,eye,face,laps,booty,boobs,pants,etc ,my di.ck will stand immediately that i can never resist her.She is so beautiful and sexy that no matter what she wear,on seeing her,i must be struggling with my erected di.ck to calm down but to none,let alone if she happen to be naked.To compound the whole issue,she too has a high libido and also love and feels se.x so often.The one that used to got me angry about this matter is that even if we had little misunderstanding,i will say within my mind that i wont make love with her or talk to her,but will stay on my own,but no sooner will i make that decision than i will break it immediately and start having sex with her even when it is clear she is the cause of the misunderstanding.I may wake up and see her,but before i know it my di.ck is already up like agama lizard.Honestly i dont know how to go reduce this act,ours is like a case of high libido man with a sexy beautiful irresistible high libido lady. Atimes i will decide instead of approaching her for sex,l will masturbate,yet during masturbation i will be recalling everything about her,yet that did not solve the matter as after sometime i will still come back to her.No thanks to sexy beautiful woman.I have tried in every way to reduce the rate at which we have sex regularly,but to no avail.Its too much,Please what shall i do.Please help.

Why are you worried about something that people are praying for.

You have a high libido and are married to a woman who always turns you on and is very reaponsive.

You have no problem sir and except you both don't go to work/church/an important function because of sex, you have nothing to worry about.

Happy enjoyment.

Are the people in that community so sick that they cannot cut them lose and give them a decent burial?

See people snapping with phones to post on social media abi?

@Dead lovers: why didn't you run away or keep convincing your parents?

CSTR2:
Bukatyne, are you married?

You are one of those old nairalanders I used to enjoy reading those days.

Yes

Thank you very much..

dickson042:
this nigga simply needs a "menage a trois" with his wife and another female. that's the reason why the wife defended her husband.

Then why is he looking for a third person?