₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Well, miserable is a strong word and I don't mean to be mean.
Besides, I didn't say 'only' but certainly.

I strongly believe that happy women do NOT need constant validation from anyone. They do not feel any lack, they feel abundant. They do not seek, they have.

MRBrownJ:
parents never get tired of grandkids as for the living together, its a progression. after a while, if you truly cant get enough of one another, then its just inevitable.

1st she spends a night sometimes and leave a few stuff (and the needed toothbrush).

2nd, after a few months of heavy dating, she then spends weekends and leave more stuff at your place... thats when she also starts to act like its her own place by cooking, and even cleaning (if she is raised right).

3rd, by then you've been dating for at least a year or more, and you guys are so comfortable together that she is at your place most days of the week. you now trust each other fully and are having unprotected sex, and you finally give her her own keys...

4th, by then, you guys must have had the important MARRIAGE talk, and if you explain it to her properly (and she isnt some religious sheep), then she will understand your point and accept the set up. its all about TRUST and UNDERSTANDING. women need SECURITY and if you can provide that, without having to marry her then its all good.

thats why your 5th and most important move is to ask her the obvious question: hey, why dont you move in OFFICIALLY? (even though she is practically living there). if she does move in, then A) you guys are already living as husband and wife and B) a marriage certificate wont improve what you guys already have...... FACT! its just a matter of time before she get pregnant and your family get bigger.

the few opposition you may have about living together and/or having kids unmarried is:
my parents will disown me... REPLY:"babe, you have to make a decision as to what you want. i am your family now and although i dont believe in marriage, i believe in us (you, I and all our future kids).thats why i want to spend the rest of my life with you, thats why you are here. so you have to make a decision whether you want to be with me OR if you have to go back to your parents and live the life they want you to live (without me). remember that i love you and marriage cant change that. but hey, if YOU gave me reasons why YOU want us to get married, then i will evaluate them, but your parents is not a worthy reason (to me)."

my church is against having a child unmarried... REPLY:"your church is also against having sex before marriage yet we are having fantastic bedroom acrobatics. so pls, dont be an hypocrite."

you can leave me whenever you desire... REPLY:"yes, i can... do you expect me to be with you even if i dont want to? by force? is that what marriage is to you? does it even make sense? if you doubt today the love i have for you then we shouldnt even spend another second together. whether married or not, marriage cant stop a man from leaving you. and if i suddenly die, dont worry i already have a will.

CASE CLOSED!

byvan03:
OK babe.

EfemenaXY:
I dislike being mentioned for stuff like this. I don't know her nor am I interested in voting for anyone.

logica:
Madam, I already pointed out the source right in my first post. Read it again and understand. Regards.

logica:
I doubt you are Yoruba. If you are not, I will advise you not to speak authoritatively on matters you are not conversant with. And if you are (Yoruba), I will advise you read more about your culture.

logica:
Lol. You missed the example I gave? You can't give ONE example of Yoruba culture discriminating against women?

logica:
...yet you cannot give an example from Yoruba culture favoring men over women? You can't state a law or practice when I cited the example of Iya 'loja which underscored the egalitarian nature of Yoruba society?

I am glad you did observe that gender equality is more at the personal level; but it will be difficult to argue that Yoruba culture discriminates against women.

logica:
Good. So why do you think Yoruba women don't have equal rights as Yoruba men?

logica:
First are you Yoruba or not? Second, have you noticed all those blasting Wuraola and Freeze (who happen to be Yoruba) are NOT Yoruba (specifically are Igbo)? We are from different ethnicities which do NOT share the same culture. Everyone is speaking for his/her own culture. Check which country first allowed women to vote. You will see Finland. Meanwhile women had a vote in Yoruba land through the Iya 'loja who represented them in the royal court long before 1893. I have long noticed the disdain from my Igbo neighbors when my wife represents the family at meetings. No Yoruba will find this odd. There is a reason Yoruba women were long viewed as free-spirited and independent. (e.g Mrs Ransome Kuti).

logica:
I doubt you are Yoruba. If you are not, I will advise you not to speak authoritatively on matters you are not conversant with. And if you are (Yoruba), I will advise you read more about your culture.

postmann:
Thanks alot dearie! My humble appreciation.

Please note that this is elimination round, I'll be needing your support down the road as the contest progresses.

Thanks again!

postmann:
https://www.nairaland.com/3176659/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination#46735783

Here it is thou gracious woman
Who built a genorous bridge across our differences

Format:

I cast my vote for


mimzy

Cc: NLjega

postmann:
Bukky dear, I reach for you
In the strength of your promise
I bang at your door
It's time you step in and calm the storm
Just a hand wave of support
That _mimzy may sail her ship to the next phase
Please dear! Where are your friends?

WellEndowed:
I have, in the past, come in contact with male victims of abuse. It makes me wonder though, why the society hasn't shone light to this issue. Is it too much for me to say that it is difficult if not almost impossible for a man to walk out of a relationship citing abuse than it is a woman.

Society maybe? the fear of being called weaklings or laughed at, is enough to cause a man to sit back and endure it all.

Is it impossible for a woman to rape a man? if such happened, what man would speak up for the whole world to hear?

If we all are fighting for equal rights, shouldn't we fight for these people?


cc
efemenaxy
sambarry
cococandy
bukatyne
tearroses
edwife
ifyalways
et all

Adufetohposh:
Thanks for the compliment ma, but I did not write the story. I saw it on Facebook and decided to share it here.

saintneo:
....there is always more than one perspective....

Amicable24:
There are some silly things some men do that are rather too childish considering their position as the head of the family

•Not eating their meal because they had a quarrel with their wives.

•Not talking to their children because they did something bad that requires correction

•Transferring their anger from an outsider to the members of their family

•Beating their wives because they had a little quarrel

•Acting as if everything is cool when there is a visitor in the house

•Acting all nice with people outside but when he comes home he acts like a tiger...and when you tell people outside what he does they find it difficult to believe it
.


Feel free to add yours.. BTW, counter thread coming soon.. Make I wear live jacket dey wait

Titilayooni:
Start acting all aggressive especially when their team loses or when a match spoils their bettting ticket.....*SMH*

DonBobes:
Ok!

MRBrownJ:
here is again a confirmation that many miserable women are willing to marry ANY donkey, as long as they can flaunt that BS "Mrs" status, and pretend to the whole world that they are seemingly happy.

will be waiting for the thread where the OP will be complaining about being used as a punching ball