₦airaland Forum

Pretty much same advice sometimes given to wives.

Ignore him;
Develop your career;
Change your wardrobe etc. etc.

Good it worked.

So why did the wife change from a 'private IndecentStar and good girl' to the horror he described?

And good to note: the dude was intent on fixing the marriage.....

Not looking to dip his d.ick in the next available pussy.

Acidosis:
ahahahaha taken 10 years ago?

Yeah.

Acidosis:
..preparing my toasting lines

Lols!

You are 10yrs too late

postmann:
Good morning! I was overcome by sleep that I could only read your post but couldn't reply until now.

1. @ first bolded sentence. I perceive I must have come across to you as a chauvinist of some sort, if not an outright misogynist, no thanks to my previous posts. But I'll be grateful if you highlight what areas in number 1 you aren't so clear about.

2. @ the second bolded sentence, I actually was saying that a wife could serve her husband his favourite meals without him having to make the request. Such gestures show she knows her husband so well and pleasing him is her top priority.

1. I agree wives should respect their husbands however experiences has taught me respect means different things to different people. And yes, you come across as a misogynist but again, that's my opinion not necessarily the truth.

2. We are saying same thing in different words. Why do I have to wait till I want something before I prepare his best food (if he has one)?.

Nice writeup and I agree fully with points 2 & 3.

As for 1, not clear going by your previous posts.

I also do not understand the need to restrict 'special' meals till a wife needs something from her husband or wants to discuss with him.

I see it as an insult ..... Saying the husband is not worthy of the special meal on a 'normal' day however, I understand it works well for some folks.

Acidosis:
alright, noted

Noted me?

For what kwanu?

Acidosis:
You don't particularly like them? What is your love language?

Acts of service majorly.

SAMBARRY:
we ARE good o.
hope your Easter was great

Enjoy sweet

It was great stress o my sister.

Enjoy yourself too.

Acidosis:
'I' am her boyfriend, and my love language is sex. Does the absence of sex calls for complaints and bitterness?


Do people even believe in this love language thing? Who hates gifts anyways?

In some cases, it does especially in marriage.

Love language works.... @ least for us. Maybe a little more complex.

@ who hates gifts... I don't particularly like them. In fact, I can do very well without them.

RE Modification...

Gift /= Money.

I know a husband who loves gifts so much that the first time his wife sent cake to his office, he called all his friends to tell them about it. Does the said husband love money?

People who lovers of gifts do not mind a lip gloss of N300 or a coke of N100. All they want is a gift and is different from gold digging.

SAMBARRY:
most mature post on nl.THE rest just kept blabbing. Bukky bukky

Lol! @ most matured post on NL

We all can't see same things same way all the time.

How are you and family?

Stupedinluv:
The bold would be one of those things i would not let slip.
You are rare gem and a blessing this day.
Thank you for your support ma
I wish you more bliss in your marriage!

Amen dear and I wish you all the best.

Elegantdiva:
Pls before you guys eat me raw, get my plight first. I av a mind of my own and I av been taking care of my needs even before I met him. My issue here is,why he does not like spending on me not like weekly or monthly thing. @lst,we av xams,val,birthday .is it bad for your man to get gift forhis woman? ..don't forget when we go outing,I do pay up our bill sometimes ,i equally mark his birthday . And for the record, he is not cheating on me. I can vow for that. All I want is to see a day I will look back and say 'ha!this thing I av was bought by my man'

@OP:

It seems your love language is receiving gifts.

I know someone like that who always wants to receive gifts no matter and little and honestly, she is also very generous. She believes giving gifts makes the world go round.

Since you like receiving gifts, learn how to give him gifts too and tell him you like to receive from him no matter how little as it makes you feel loved. Also learn to understand as he is currently not with you and you can't tell the magnitude of the project he has on hand.

His love language might not be giving so he needs to learn and you need to be patient. Also learn his love language and imbibe it if it is not within you.

I wish you all the best in your relationship.

jabojafa:
she is nt closing down alhaja business ooh. Hv u nt seen 5ppl selling d same tin on d same street?

The sister wants to make free something Alhaja sells to earn a living.

Ti isu eni ba funfun, won man fowo bo je.

Pardon my French.

Stupedinluv:
At 20, i have come to realise the joy and fulfilment in living life to the fullest. Coming from a noble home, i was not raised to be a man's stooge not to talk of an animal's. My worth was defined from the day i stepped into earth and has been shapened overtime. I was taught the right and the wrong. And that moral laws condone no breaker. If a woman must be condemned and despised for a crime, a man must by all means face the same. I believed this and i knew before God and men it was the truth. I didnt just believe, it became real to me and has influenced my judgement.

However, the society has flung half of this truth and has held on to a part because of how drunk in power it has become and the advantage this fist had fetched it.

We are aware now of this evil conditioning that a woman who sleeps around is a slut and should be desired less but a man who does same a stud and should be the craving of every woman. Many men have quietly nodded in agreement and a few mouthy ones have not failed to vocalise their agreement. And women? So many to the shame of dignity and womanhood have sang along with the men. And you wonder which would sacrifice her pride to make a stud!?

Because to make more studs we need more sluts. Can any of you women come out and offer yourself to a man who would dump you for another. If you cannot hold your peace and stupidity!

A stud is a man who is sexually attractive to so many women. So they say! but i see a stud as an animal who is unable to control its sexual desires, hates monogamous relationships and (therefore) deserves to be judged and condemned.


Women who say they are attracted to studs and hate inexperienced men need not only their heads examined but their consciences and should not take offence when they are called sluts. Cos only a slut or zombie would reason this way.


A stud has nothing tangible to offer except to toy with my emotion, cause me heart breaks and render me unproductive.

For every stud out there there are ten whores rendering my gender useless and subjecting me to prove myself as a woman of pride and esteem all the time. Nothanks.

Just 20 and you are this certain on what you want?

You deserve a hug girl!

Many will tell you that how will you know...

Well, let me tell you a secret... Just as you have been trained to keep yourself, there are guys equally brought up that way and you will know them by their values.

Did I hear people say 'how will he be good in bed?' Smiles... there is nothing like learning how to pleasure one another in the sanctity of marriage. Every 'stud' was once a virgin and there is no better place to experiment than in marriage. Infact, when you both are novices, there is no shame and no need explaining why you are good in Mouth Gig or licking plate.

Don't let people discourage you... Good 'inexperienced men aka non-studs' still exist plenty plenty.

I know because I got married to one.

adorable29:
OH PUHLEASE! YOU NIGERIAN MEN AGAINST THIS ARTICLE SHOULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!

Isnt that what you Nigerian men who are supposed to protect thier women tell the world everyday on socialmedia?!

They have never been to Nigeria now! They just did a research and found it all over cyberspace that our women are prostitutes and they submitted thier findings. Dazzol.


From Nigeria wives being the most promiscuous in the whole world to 80percent of Nigeria women being bleachers are propagated by you all unintelligent black slaves and they readily jump on the lies you spread. Take nairaland for example. So why blame them. It doesnt matter that an average american girl has slept with 8-10 guys(girls too sef) before she leaves high school and its like a taboo when a 15year old gal sleeps with one guy in naija.


So deal with it. The world believes I, your sisters, your mothers, your daughters are prostitutes. Oya shakitibobo!


PS: if most of you so called men werent imbec,iles...... you would realise that woman just LIKE men ALL OVER THE WORLD would prefer comfort and riches to otherwise. Some go to the extreme while others keep thier morales intact. Its a spectrum.

From those american women u see in por.n to those cape verde women who marries black wowo old men from Edo State to South Africa women to Ghana women...... its a world thing. Stop shooting yourselves in the foot by taking it as your life ambition to downgrade your own women because one mbeke broke your heart to shreds bits and smithereens!

Lols!

5minsmadness:
Maybe the sleeping around is the process of looking for a second wife na.

No 3 is just as pathetic. Maybe the man wanted goodbye sex and the girl used the opportunity to trap him. It happens. Happens a lot.

No 3 has the guts to talk because the society treats men's adultery with kid gloves.

A man planning his wedding wants goodbye sex from another woman and he can speak out?

Let's not kid ourselves. Bleep.ing around is not the process of a new wife.

What are her plans for Alhaja as she wants to close down her business?

RiloKiley:
You think he should have found out earlier right? You'd be surprised how ignorant some people can be.

The third story though. Guy thought he was trying to do the 'right thing'? Hmmmm.

@ bold:

You sef De wonder.

Why I 'sympathize' with 1 & 2, I do understand how sleeping around is supposed to be a solution to their problems.

1. A man discovers his wife lied about her womb. It is either
* He forgives her and they adopt and/or expect miracles
* He marries a second wife
* He divorces her and remarries.

Ditto the SS palava.

People are deceived into marriages daily and I do not know why the deceivers think they will not be caught.

That no 3 should literally keep quite. He got served.

That is why I always want to know how they started.

Strangely, everyone on this thread has deactivated their account.

aameyah:
You are wicked ooo!

@pinkiberry...

You called a decent guy mumu?

Confirms your taste in men.

byvan03:
Mr Brown J's A is why cheating can never stop. If you can't separate yourself from a cheating partner then learn to live with it. People are free to do whatever they like once there are no consequences.

True.

I know two men who said they will never cheat because they know their wives will walk out.

No looking back.

All these future punishments na wash.

If a man sleeps with all the women in his village and asks for forgiveness on his death bed, God will forgive him and heaven is sure.

Sadly, the wife carrying bitterness and hurt might not.

Aitee1:
Increase in number by then, he consumes the one of 3k alone for now

No bi +1?

Anyways, it is all good

@OP:

Depends on taste and location.

Some soups are naturally more expensive than others.

Aitee1:
Now that we're courting whenever he calls me to come prepare a meal for him the least amount he drops is 3k and sometimes I manage that cos he likes much chewable in his meal but a moment we become one I'll manage 5k.

And why waiting till marriage before telling him it is 5k?

The young man has registered it that N3k is enough to make soup and starts wondering what happened after marriage to make it N5k.

These tiny changes matter.

byvan03:
Surely they always return broke and useless, funny these women embrace them and give testimony like the one above . At least they got a man I guess .

Lols!

At least, man na man

cococandy:
Hello house.
Chillisauce
Bukatyne
Edwife
Efemenaxy
Byvan03
Babygirlfl


I hope that's enough to go round.

Happy Easter to you guys.
Hope everyone is fine.
Greetings from our side.

Happy 'Belated' Easter dear

Sure you had fun

How are you, Omomo and daddy?

Hello house.

raumdeuter:
Yes. For some people Marriage complicate things. There have been people who dated for 10yrs but got married and divorced within months

Well, they played for 10 years....

When a student roams about the campus for 4 years, he/she is bound to fail the final exams.

Marriage complicate things? Then they are both jokers.

raumdeuter:
Some would argue that what does an additional certificate add to their current relationship? Would marriage stop anyone from playing the field or not?

Would lack of marriage/certificate stop anyone from playing the field?

raumdeuter:
Most male would marry because its what the female want. Left to them they can continue living together and building a family without the additional hassle of tagging it a marriage

interesting...

So they want the supposed benefits of marriage without getting married!

Hmmmm... why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?


Anyways, if the man & woman involved both want it that way, good for them.

To be quite honest, we have a lot of co-habiting couples who have grand kids sef.

Avalon316:
This is also why we do not believe in being faithful to some women. "After the girl has given the best years of her pv$$y to all her admirers, boyfriends etc . she will want her unlucky husband to manage her tukunbo pv$$y. ".

We reject and rebuke.

In your haste, you did not make sense...pity

If a man is stupi.d enough to make such a girl his wife, whose fault is it?

Or are you not capable of making intelligent decisions?

And no bros, not every man is unfaithful like you.

raumdeuter:
Yet when we say na women desire marriage pass dem go dey argue am

I know you are married and male.

The question is...

Is it possible for you to love a girl so much yet you do not want to marry her? (You are not interested in playing the field; you love only this babe)

craziebone:
did you read my post in response to @slyIsaac on page zero? You may want to go and read that post again to know why some people may find the mention of marriage a turn off.

OK

craziebone:
@bukatyne, i have known you to be one of the most foremost feminists here. And the idea that a woman not wanting to get married but would still want a good relationship, is not something that you would find inconcievable. Why are you finding it difficult to concieve that a man could also may not want marriage but a good relationship too? And that that man is not a player?

craziebone and feminism...

First, happy Easter in arrears; hope you rested well.

Careful here, you have started imagining what I find inconceivable & concieveable for men & women... You bi mind reader?

Perhaps you should take your polls to the real world. How many men (let's forget women now) would love a woman so much, want to be with her alone and NOT get married to her?

What is the 'marriage' (infact, the word is wedding) a stumbling block to? How does it affect the relationship?

craziebone:
There are women who would not want marriage but a good relationship. The woman may have seen terrible things done to her mother when her mother was married and she may grow up to see marriage as a way for men to legitimately imprison women. When such a lady comes forth and says she doesn't want marriage, i personally can understand it. And i do not think she is truely anti marriage, i believe when she get a man, and that man is not just interested about her body or want to subject her to any form of abuse, i believe after dating that man for over 10 years or more, and the man ends up being the exact opposite of what she thought men are, she would eventually accept a marriage proposal from such a faithful man even after 10 years or more of dating. All she subconciously wants and needs is a lover who teaches her a different side to men and marriage.

Well, I wouldn't blame her; I believe the fraud of courtship & marriage we have around today ( which is basically human nature) else what ideally is the difference between courtship and marriage apart from the ceremony and sex (for moral folks)?

If a man is good in courtship, what should change in marriage? Ideally?

craziebone:
I guess @Tim.bukt.ou was right afterall; a woman not wanting marriage is liberated but a man not wanting the same, is time waster and can only be a womanizer.

Well, when you have pre-conceived notions, it prevents you from getting the message the other party is passing across.

I cannot recall anywhere a woman who doesn't want marriage is liberated and marriage is not the only relationship a woman is abused.

Infact, a cousin of mine met a female time waster once and yes, some women are time wasters and 'manizers' which I do not pray a man mets too.

craziebone:
But let me ask you @bukatyne. If there were no such thing as marriage, would you still be with your partner?

Yes.