₦airaland Forum

treese:
So my hubby likes me cleaning his ears and doing his pedicures and manicure. Am totally totally cool with it. I didn't use to understand why I av to clean his ears tho. But I got to understand he likes me doing it. So why not. I rem a aunty of mine telling me that whatever u don't want with ur husband don't start it. She said it's not like shez discouraging me from doing all those. But one day it will cause a big fight that will confuse you. My be she was damn right. As I speak now my hubby has refused to eat or talk to me cause yesterday he asked me to clean his easy and I told him to say please and stop asking me like he put jazz in his mouth. So I went into the kitchen to make my hungry son's food and fed him; after feeding my son I took the cotton buds and asked to clean the ears and he bluntly refused; That was I knew fight don start. First can some wives share their own experiences with me on the Wierd stuffs we do for love and how you handle it. Cos it's unfair if he gets upset with me wen I refuse to do these stuffs. We have argued several times over this ish and he tells me to go and ask my formed and I will be shocked to hear a lot of wired stiffs women to for their men. So let's here ur ladies. Share your Wierd stuffs.

Just let him know you love doing those things for him however he needs to be polite to you.

Goodluck and happy cleaning.

So all the other my husband is my best friend, biggest supporter etc. Is silent?

@ OP:

Maybe I was brought up differently but washing of clothes/undies doesn't signify 'submissiveness/humbleness'.... More like hardworking?

Again, I find the 'my husband asked me to stop' part funny...

Was the husband implying there was something 'wrong/humiliating' washing his undies?

And Ma, I think you are bigger than giving such specifics in an interview.

donifez:
I am an introvert, so I can relate with your experience .

Most bosses don't tolerate introverts, just smile at intervals to their Jokes (even if it is boring) .

I recently did my internment, I just had a mild relationship with all.

No complain.

Entrepreneurship rocks.

How can an introvert succeed in entrepreneurship or do you intend selling to ghosts?

bellong:
I may be tagged old school but it is what it is.

Why put a girlfriend on monthly pocket money when you are not married to her? Yes, it is good to show care, affections and all for loved ones but it doesn't mean you should take over her parents' responsibilities. You need to learn how to exercise caution in "spending resources" on a girl you are not married to.

The foundation of every relationship is built on trust, honesty, openness and sincerity. When these are lost, the union is as good as dead. I don't encourage a sex filled relationship but from your description, your "girlfriend" only see you as an ATM machine. If after investigation, you discover that it is true, she doesn't deserve a second chance. The decision is yours to make though.

And the person you called a friend is an acquaintance not a friend. No friend does that to a friend.

Be wise with your resources and be careful about who you call friend.

100% agree.

byvan03:
Testimony indeed, a worthless fugitive old man returns home = testimony. Let them continue praying for a cheating husband to repent and not pray for their success and that of their kids .

After the husband has given the best years to all his mistresses outside.

He will now come back empty.

I rebuke & reject.

jashar:
U na no well . You're 'wowing' at a cry for help.
But honestly, what advice can give here? I think the wife needs a reality shock. But I'm not sure what kind.

I agree.

Perhaps temporary separation or cutting off all her benefits.

Give her money for food only or eat at work.

After a while, she go get sense.

Evina:

Thank you Sis.

How are you & family

halfricanadian:
Wana have my eggs frozen or i give birth early

Ladies thinks their eggs will last forever or its until dey hit 45 meno pause age so dey can have kids until dey hit menopause

Ladies listen for every unfertilised eggs flushed as mensturation reduces d amount of eggs in d womb

Men produces sperm daily women dont produce eggs daily infact we shed eggs out as mensturation

The older u are d more blood u av shed d more eggs flushed d lower d amount of eggs dats why its usually difficult for older women to conceive nd very very easy for younger women to conceive

And my advise ladies with heavy flow of blood during menses shd always give birth early sha or freeze their eggs cos it doesnt multiply bt reduces

Some women can shed lots of fertile eggs as menses at age 25 nd b very difficult to giv birth even if she had never done abortion sef its always good for women to go check their ovaries nd womb monthly to kno wats up nd wen to act fast

I learnt dis in biology i stand to b corrected tho

I don't know much biology however I heard of depleted eggs and women needing surrogates to donate eggs.

Even men who replenish sperm regularly produce poorer and poorer sperms as the years go by.

I also believe our modern lifestyle makes our bodies (men & women) age faster despite breakthroughs in biological & physical sciences.

I think this is a classic case of make hay while the sun shines.

Timbuktou:
Sense? We'll see about that when it comes to nuanced opinions not copy-and-paste regurgitation.

And I will post and state I agree if this is not my stance?

How wise of you.

crackhaus:
It be like say some of these feminist--there-must-be-gender-equality women don begin to get sense oo...

I just think you have been blind all the while.

This has always been my stance on quota systems.

Welcome to the light.

Timbuktou:
I guess OP is becoming a misogynist. All those in support of the fraudulent Gender Equality Bill should be made to read this. You're either good enough or you aren't.



Then the decision in their favour should be to institute a free and fair competitive environment, not hand them freebies.

Unable to read the GEB so can't comment on that.

@Second paragraph, true.

darkenedrebel:
...sounds logical to me too...proffering jobs to individuals; no matter the gender, or appointment to high offices should be governed by meritocracy, and meritocracy alone...

True.

It would help people sit up and push them beyond their initial limits.

It also gives a certain joy that 'I worked for this'.

Not ruling out favour & grace.

darkenedrebel:
...sounds logical to me too...proffering jobs to individuals; no matter the gender, or appointment to high offices should be governed by meritocracy, and meritocracy alone...

Double post

Evina:
Oh my padi. Thanks dear. Didn't mean to go AWOL on you guys.

Woaw!

Welcome back and congrats on the birth of your son

Happy Good Friday peeps!

lilmax:
Bukatyne is somebody I cannot understand , or do you walk with the spirit?

Which one be spirit matter again?

You don't understand my moniker how?

PresVA:
How many married peeps successfully delay pregnancy in Nigeria up to their desired period of time? When your mum, Mil ettcc be on top your head; be counting your edd from your wedding day ..

I tried delaying mine and I know d kinda pressure I got.. Odiegwu..

Lols!

I have a friend whose MIL asked why she wasn't preggers 2mths after the wedding.

The OP is really more of ladies not delaying marriage even though she used pregnancy as the talking point.

RiloKiley:
Good rebuttal

Thanks.

crackhaus:
So you people don't want to delay marriage and pregnancy anymore?
I thought career-oriented independent women could get any man they desired at any age, and get pregnant/give birth even at 50yrs of age and above?
Una don change am for us again...


More irritation for you to stew on Bukatyne...your nerves, not mine.



This you should E-mail to the author of your OP.
My response is in direct response to her write-up absent the exceptions.



Now you're just muddling as usual.

It is some women's destiny not to get married and have kids, good for them.
Our bone of contention is in these ones aka 'you people' that only want to face their careers and preach to other women to do same, then turn around at 60 to lament their poor choices.

More 'you people' to get your irritation going...you're welcome.



Of course...but still, many of 'you people' don't and end up getting married with near-absolute dependence on the man and still call yourselves feminists.

Has your irritation resulted in a headache yet?



Her biological clock is still ticking, she now has roughly 11years to birth all the kids she is intent on having before it becomes much harder.

If in your world, your worth/position as a human being is tied to your money, I cannot help you.

If your women are considered inferior to men because the men provide, sorry for you.

And you start to wonder why your wives treat you as second class citizens when you have little setbacks.

Oh! I forgot, @that point, you are inferior.

zaynie:
A woman who put everything on hold to chase a career.
She should be able to afford it plus the cost of surrogacy plus every every.

Strangely, that is usually not the case.

The major problems I have always had against the notion of career first before marriage ( if a partner is available) are:

1. It takes a long time to build a career.... It is not a 3yr or 5yr thingy.

2. Not everyone gets good jobs or jobs aligning to the careers with their first job especially in Nigeria.

3. Why should I give my most productive years solely to my employer? Even if I am 'self-employed'?

zaynie:
Bukatyne, my first paragraph wasn't in reference to the OP.
The 2nd was. That's my position about the topic.
The way some 'feminist' came on too strong is the main reason some women aren't interested in it and then defy everything its all about.

OK, I get you.

Beautiful story of love

buggaboo:
What if women actually can't get into some positions on a free and fair competition? Should they then be completely ignored?

Do you have examples of constraints in mind?

1 100% agree with Danielle on this.

Putting women in positions based on gender or filling a quota only says the woman can't get there on a free and fair competition.

Gender politics suck. First, we get the whiny litany from Anne-Marie Slaughter about how this 50-speech-a-year, former policy planning director, Princeton dean and mom can’t have it all. Thanks Anne-Marie. Who has it all? Then we get this tripe from some Progressive Policy Institute woman who’s grumpy there aren’t more women at think tanks. Even at the “venerable” Brookings Institution, she moans, there aren’t too many women; but (duh) “right-wing think tanks” are the “worst offenders.” We “look like the membership of Augusta National.” Oh please. I won’t speak for Heritage, but at AEI, we don’t give a damn what your gender or your color is; we don’t care how you put on your pants in the morning, whether you wear a skirt, or if you once played French horn in a Barcelona band. (OK, that’s unacceptable.)“We care about the work people do, the quality of the product, the difference we can make in Washington and for the nation.” -Danielle Pletka

We care about the work people do, the quality of the product, the difference we can make in Washington and for the nation. We don’t set aside seats for women any more than we set aside seats for women in our Congress. Why are some people so obsessed with counting up their seats? What do they think they’re missing? Would they rather be women in Rwanda, the Seychelles, Angola, or Belarus — all cited by our PPI accuser as having more women in government than the rotten old U.S. of A? Are we going to be better served by more women economists? More chicks in foreign policy? More high heels pondering the education mess? Tell me, what are you looking for here except more entitlements, more special treatment, more set asides, more demeaning quotas?

Who wants to be hired because she is a woman? I’ll tell you: A woman who knows she isn’t the best for the job and is looking for preferential treatment. You want to work here at AEI? Great. Send me your awesome resume, show me your platinum degrees, hand over your testimony, your writing, and your collection of super op-eds. Oh, don’t have that? Then sit down, and shut up.

http://www.aei.org/publication/whiny-women-unite/

God continually bless your home.

That your cake na wa!

Abeg find another picture put joor....

Cake you no give persin, you come dey use am do totori...

Stop am o

Good morning peeps....

Thanks for keeping the thread alive.

offorkansi:
Yesterday, I struggled to hold back tears as my neighbor told me the heart wrenching story of her friend.

Her friend was 7 months pregnant. She was expecting her second child. The first one is 4 years old and their previous attempt to have a second, have ended in 3 miscarriages.

Sadly, just when they thought this pregnancy would be different, she also lost the baby. No, the baby was murdered. She delivered a stillborn.

My neighbor who spent three days with her in the hospital was fuming with anger as she narrated her friend's ordeal. The night before she had the miscarriage, her husband had come back drunk as other nights.

He forced the wife to have sex with him. The woman pleaded with him that she was in no mood for sex, more so with the pains she was enduring due to the pregnancy. The drunk husband would have none of it.

He forced his wife, and had rough sex with her after giving her a thorough beating. The next morning, she started bleeding and was rushed to the hospital.

As the devil may have it, the doctor was not on call and the nurses and student doctor were the ones that attended to her. They gave injection to stop the bleeding, the bleeding continued. They gave another injection.

Then she started feeling unbearable pain, labor followed and she spent agonizing hours pushing out the baby.

The baby came out lifeless. 7 months of pain and discomfort without a bundle of joy. Who knows if the previous miscarriages were not a result of the husband's Ill treatments.

Men, your wife is not an object of pleasure. She doesn't exist only to satisfy your sexual cravings. It's her body, when she's tired and in no mood for ex, she has a right to tell you so and please respect it.

As for the woman in question, she says she loves her husband and doesn't want anybody confronting him on her behalf. I've since dried my eyes and gone on with my business.

@Bold:

The woman has closed the case na

Lols

Four posters viewing...

Z & Z ; B & B

zaynie:
Women arent the only one with biological clocks. Men do too.
I know a man in his 60s with a 10year old boy and the boy is missing out a lot.


If a woman decides to not marry until she reaches a certain goal or not at all, she is free to. She is also free to change her mind whenever she sees it fit to.
If a woman decides to get married at 20 and start popping kids, she is free to. She is also free to go back to school and pursue a career at 30.
There is no one way to do things. That is why we are different!
Why must we all be married?
Why mustnt we?

The OP is more on addressing the consequences of those choices.

Yes, men have biological clocks however the writer was addressing that of women.

Must be we all be married?

No.

LewsTherin:
More? No. They got what the society they were in gave. For most, it was more than enough. They were fulfiled. The modern woman tends to want a little more than what her mothers got. Where her mother was a home keeper, she wants to have a career as well.

Note, I am not saying this is a bad thing. For men, we've had it this way ever since. For the modern woman, she wants to change the status quo she met. However, changing things while desiring the old thing requires a skill of balance that she is still learning.

My point is the last couple of generations has not been enough time for that change to result in a new equilibrium that she finds perfect as the status she isn trying to change is one that has existed since the beginning of human society.

I doubt they were fulfilled because they trained the 'modern' woman to want more

I guess we all mix history up because peeps are quick to say the women of old were hard workers outside the home and every woman who wants to be a home keeper 'lazy'.

I believe with time, women would be able to find that sweet balance with prioritizing and knowing what they want.

Pidggin:
Yep

Okay nau...

This is different from freezing it because you want to work first and delay the kids...

Your plan actually makes a whole lot of sense.

Ideally, there is no issue of eggs getting depleted or lack of premium eggs....

The only thing to contend with is the aging body.

Good one.