₦airaland Forum

chronique:
Well,I don't really know much about these things but I heard some of the reasons why women have excrutiating pains while in labour,has to do with what and what they eat during pregnancy. I heard stuffs like ice-cream,chocolates and stuffs,makes the baby grow too big and also adds to delivery pains.

To be honest,I'm more of an old fashioned dude when it comes to issues like this. This is how I think of it: if my mother could deliver 4 kids normally without epidurals,and your mum(my partner) can deliver XYZ kids without epidurals;why should we(you and I) not do it this same way? I understand we're in a digital age where everyone wants everything done with just a click of a button but then,not everything should go that way. I like things being done naturally. One thing I know for sure is that,for every child my wife gives birth to,She'd definitely get a new top of the range luxury car as a gift for that. It's just going to be my own way of saying thank you for going through that pain to give me a child.

LOL!

I like you jor!

As you are not the one going through it, you can be old fashioned .

Smart guy!

mcdokwe:
well I was with her in the delivery room and was remotely connected to her. I am saying what I believe she would say. It was about whether or not one would use an epidural, remember?

It was until you said how long the pain lasts.

I am a woman, I have not had a baby before so I keep quiet when mums tell me about their experiences.

You a man is telling us how long birth pain lasts despite the fact that you have not even asked your wife; you are saying what you believe she would say.

Issokay

mcdokwe:
well, it never lasts beyond labour.

I didnot know that men now give birth

@OP: Nice and educative thread as always

Happy sunday to you and yours.

mcdokwe:
No. My sweetheart did a research on its use during her pregnancy, while it ensures there are no labour pains, it takes away the flair of childbirth. Besides its administration is said to be a specialist area and could go severely wrong. She told me, I can't really say I know.

What is the flair of childbirth?

Pain?

muskham:
he is the one doing my shopping even to my pants and me vice versa.

Anything you don't want him to hear, don't tell me. Likewise anything you don't want me to hear don't tell him.

we hold hands when ever we are in the street. We kiss a lot. We have sex almost everyday
WE ARE 8YEARS THIS MONTH
We are still praying for the fruit of womb . Please join me. My husband is the best man in this world.

God will grant your heart desires

Did the pastor give the reason for his disapproval?

A intending husband or wife should be able to pray to God for guidance alongside the pastor.

@OP:

She should be able to handle it herself and tell you for information purpose.

However, as it stands, tell him to stop disturbing your girl if you are sure there is nothing between them and cut off all ties with him.

Goodluck.

Chillisauce:
https://yoursmiles.org/ksmile/lazycrazy/k32014.png

https://yoursmiles.org/ksmile/monster/k3004.png

LOL!

I had to like and share his post yesterday

Kay17:
No you have excluded premarital sex as being sinful. So submission is not blind obedience but reasonable.

OK then

Nonso23:
Alright, I will assume you weren't playing to the theaters with that response.

Not just differences, biology determines civilization as we know it.

Playing to the theaters?

Where are they so they can pay? I ain't acting for free

Ok at last sentence.

Ochiban:
I think it depends on what emotional means. I have found that men are often just as emotional as women. Think about it? How many men can you describe as passionate, angry, proud, stubborn? Those are all emotions. I find that what women most likely cry about, men get angry about. It seems that men just react in an emotionally different way. Its just that anger is seen as more acceptable in public than crying is because anger is looked at as strength but crying is viewed as weakness.

As for logical, most of the purchasing decisions for families are done by women. That means food, housing supplies, clothing needs, and others. That is obviously not emotional but very logical budget and accounting. Taking care of 3, 4 or 5 individuals is very difficult. You prepare for school, sometimes drop them off, feed at least once or twice a day, check assignments and reports, and others. If you were doing the same duties in a company, you would be called a senior supervisor.

I believe men and women are different and have unique skills that make them useful both of home and office. For example, I read that women CEOs are exceptional at crisis management in a company that is going downhill.

I think women make better homemakers (stereotypically) because they are just trained better. My husband was clueless with our first baby but I had been forced to take care of every relative's baby since i was 10. But now after 2 years, he is better with him than i am (in my opinion). Meanwhile i think most guys are trained to be leaders cuz they have been told since they were 2---you must be a man! You must provide!

So i think half of it is naturally inbuilt, but i think the other half is training. At the end of the day, natural talent is always defeated by good training and effort.

Very nice

Back to my sofa

Nonso23:
You drifted by eventually trying to create a non existent comparison between the brain and the heart and the paper and pen by citing ''... even with their differences and none is seen as 'unequal' to each other."


What else determines our overall capabilities??
Biological differentiation!
That is the foundation for other unique roles both genders play in the society.

You asked a question and I answered as I could. If you have a template answer, provide it next time.

Biology determines our differences? ok then.

kemtol:
WOW: its almost two years I last visited this thread.


How time flies.

Dear OP,

How did events go?

Nonso23:
You totally drifted off along the line I don't know if you did that on purpose.

The basic essence of that analogy is very open to all. There is no basis for comparison between the pen and paper nor is there a basis for comparing the heart and the brain. Both have unique functions that must complement the other to produce the final and important results.
They are not rivals nor are they equal.
That is the simple lesson feminists should learn.
If you compete with a man in his domain you surely will feel inferior to him because no matter what effort you put in, he is a natural and will always outclass you. If a man competes with a woman in her domain he will lose out too and very sorely.
Men know this hence you don't see them clamoring for equality . I wish I can say the same for the feminists.

Each gender should respect their unique differences and work to enhance them for the betterment of humanity instead of focusing on disrupting an order they cannot fathom.
The two genders are not equal nor are they inferior to one another.

Drifted how?

You asked a question, I answered or am I missing something?

Are there really fixed roles for genders apart from biological roles?

pasqal09:
No, but its a criteria for getting a guy to fall completely. Guys hate ladies that aren't submissive.

Is cooking a measure of submissiveness?

pasqal09:
Ok, she'll keep remaining a guest while another lady will become the wife.

Is this a threat?

Kay17:
So we can conclude that during every dating and courtship phase a woman goes through with a man she loves, she must submit to such man, right? And such submission must not be total submission but reasonable submission, right?

Yea

Did not get your other question though

Besides, I am trying to understand how submission works in s.ex

Nonso23:
I will take that at face value.

This isn't about throwing away the baby with the bath water but more like cutting out a dead branch that once provided shade but has turned into a nuisance.


The first 4 lines, 2 posts behind this one.

The heart&brain and pen&paper comparism?

The pen is useless without the paper and paper useless without the pen;

The brain must tell the heart to pump blood and the heart must pump blood for the brain to function.

The pen, paper, heart and brain are not compared to each other. They are seen as equally important even with their differences and none is seen as 'unequal' to each other.

Saying men and women are not equal does not infer male superiority is akin to saying there are no rabid feminists.

We both know that it is not true

SirShymex:
Father forgive them for they don't know what they just got themselves into - teenage love affair.

So, you're just going give up on your youth, without exploring, and getting yourself somewhere stable?

Reminiscent of my cousin who got married at 23...now ol'boy is all loved up with a next chic, talking about he was rushed into marriage. And he needs to enjoy his life. When nobody rushed him. He asked for it, and the family blessed it.

Is having multiple sex partners exploring?

If this couple is mature, can't they have kids, be done training by 30/35 and explore together? Travel round the world? Do what they want to do?

Kay17:
What are the consequences of a woman submitting to a man during courtship, aren't you delivering a dangerous advice? The man can command for the "forbidden fruit" which isn't a legitimate request.

In respect to the bolded, the woman does not need to wait for a husband's love to reciprocate to but why does the Bible say to the contrary?

How can the man ask for punnany? We are talking Christian here and even if he says so, lady has the right to say no. Submission is not blind obedience and it is 'as to the Lord' Afteral, a married woman will not steal because her husbandsaid so. As much as we are one in marriage, salvation and judgement is personal

I do not understand your last question

ledafaze:
But I bet you that to them, it will seem like its a bf/gf relationship. I hope and pray they know what they are into...

Amen

If they will last, it is beautiful

Ochiban:
They will last if they are mature. "this is 2014, not 1920" that is story jo! Life is easier now than it was then so less stress on marriage. But folks are not mature these days. Running away from marriage for every reason under the sun. Marriage is not easy... but neither is parenthood, going to school or keeping a job. People just stick to it.

Ive seen my friends who married at 27 get divorced at 32. I have also seen a dear friend who married at 17 to her 18 year old boyfriend stay married at 40 years of age now to the same man. And may i mention they have 10 children!

So if they are mature enough, they will weather the storms of marriage and come out on top. I pray that I will raise my children to be mature enough to marry at 19. But i will demand they finish university first so maybe 21 years is more realistic for me

I agree

What will be will be

pickabeau1:
Just explicit.. this time

All the while.. implied ..

But this is clear

Maybe i missed the previous post

No comment

Nonso23:
Please don't confuse genuine intentions of yesterday with open display of hatred that is the norm today. I do not have a problem with the fundamental concerns of the proponents of feminism, as today, they've been realized. My problem lies with the man-hate that is the singular agenda of the modern day feminists.
As for your statement about transgenders: greedy people always want the best of both worlds and lose out on both sides in the end.


BTW, answer my questions in the previous post.

I and other sane person have problems with man-hate as well.

I also have serious problems with people who insist on throwing away the baby and the bath water and argue that all feminists are bla bla bla which is the same as all men are bla bla bla

What question please?

crackhaus:
Lol...what kind of point are you trying to make here?

Those women I listed including the powerful Nigerian women in top economic positions listed by Nashville, all hold very public positions - they are in the news all the time saying/doing one thing or the other.
If any was a feminist, we would all have known by now.

I'm sorry, but that angle you're trying to work about me interviewing them to know their views does not fly - most of their views are public knowledge, and their position gives them the required platform to be ardent supporters of feminism if they truly were.

Really?

Until Omotola was interviewed earlier this year, I never would have known that she thinks men and women are not equal.

And why should they make their views known if they are not asked? Why should they rock the boat? Some of them are in political positions whose bread and butter depends on different type of people and you think they will limit their chances to siding with one party?

Leave feminism apart; what are their views on LGBTs? abortion? and other cntroversial subjects?

I would take what a private person says on a subject matter more seriously than a public person. Public personalities must dance to the drums of their supporters; directly or indirectly.

crackhaus:
Well I can't teach anyone how/why women do what they do even to save my own life as I'm not a woman.

However, I did type at least fifteen sentences in that post - did you pause to think why only the first sentence caught your attention and probably upset you so much you quoted the entire post just to dwell on it?

You have just reacted emotionally, hence your inability to see the other things I typed (quoted below for reference) explaining the statement and even predicting your reaction.
Don't worry, this reaction is normal with women - it does not mean you're inferior, it means you're just being the woman that you are.

After your first line, I stopped reading

pickabeau1:
Just the first time ive seen you actually say the husband is the head of the home
interesting

Really?

Assuming there has been no instance, did my previous posts on this tread not say so?

Nonso23:
The emboldened not necessarily.
Can you compare the heart and the brain? which is superior? aren't they organs?
What about the pen and the sheet?

We are not equals and as crackhaus rightly pointed out, our similarity just about ends with the biological classification 'sapien'.
We cannot compare both sexes nor place any above the other. None is inferior nor superior. We complement one another.
A woman should be proud of her biological uniqueness and focus on expanding on her strengths while appreciating the biological uniqueness of the man. It's really that simple. The notion of gender equality is the product of the deep seating feeling of inferiority complex a woman develops while trying to compete with men in fields they were groomed or trained to do all their lives.

Society develops via differentiation and specialization. If women want to become men then we will eventually lose whatever we are trying to find.
Build on your femininity and leave the men to build on their masculinity. That way progress is assured.

@first bolded: LOL! All what women experienced before the advent of feminism was definitely in their imagination! The inferiority must really be 'deep seated'

The women that want to be come men are the transgenders

crackhaus:
You and I both know how you women misinterpret and read meanings into little things.

See what I just did there?
I'm pretty sure in your mind and in the mind of some female readers, that statement above will be taken as 'sexist'.
But am I wrong, honestly? Are women not more emotional and prone to react emotionally?
Does that mean you are inferior, or is that just what you all think men mean when they say such?

You did misinterpret me as well - I said, a man and a woman are equal as humans, but it ends there.
Pray tell, where did you get that bit in bold in your comment?

As for the level playing ground and opportunities, is there any inequality in that aspect?
Are women in Nigeria not given opportunity?

I have nothing against economic/social equality, this has to do with the law...and frankly, the law in Nigeria already favours both genders.
Unless what you Nigerian women are clamoring for are the western-type laws (marriage/civil) which actually favour women.
And if that is it, does that not now negate the idea of equality where women are treated more fairly than men?

Is this a joke?

I do not know how women misinterpret and read meaning into little things, can you teach me?

crackhaus:
Looking at it from the perspective of society being against women, I still ask myself that same question - who exactly is the society? Is it not both men and women themselves?

Truth be told, a woman working hard to get to the top is likely to encounter more problems and discouragement from women like herself than from men.
They say women are not allowed to hold political offices, I then say - show me one qualified woman who got rejected in getting a political appointment because of her gender.
The other day, Sarah Jubril contested as the only woman in PDP primaries, she got only one vote - why did the women who make up a proportion of PDP's caucus not rally behind her to procure votes?
Recently, a workshop was held in the presidential villa for female aspirants ahead of the 2015 general elections, all these is in a bid to at least disprove the idea that women are treated unfairly.

Why is it also that the majority of powerful women the world over do not shout and preach equality cum feminism?
Laura Bush, Hilary Clinton, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, Dilma Rousseff (just re-elected president of Brazil), and of course the Nigerians on your list, all have one thing in common - we don't see/hear them claiming/preaching disenfranchisement.

The rural women you talked about facing injustice, is more of a cultural thing specific to these rural communities.
Girls being married off early in the north and middle-east is not enough proof of injustice...that is their culture.
Women not allowed to inherit property in some places is mostly cultural and at other times fueled by ignorance.

When it comes to social and economic equality, there really is no issue as regards Nigeria.
Both men and women are already treated equal in that regard - although women are even more likely to get favours than men, yet I don't see men complaining or the women themselves demanding equality in that aspect.

Have you interviewed any of these women to know their views?

You hear feminism/anti-feminism et al here because this is a social forum where we get to discuss.

I know you are an anti-feminist but I doubt you have ever told anyone you are one except when arguing with colleagues.

pickabeau1:
Interesting coming from you.. buka

I agree with your post

@bolded, why?

Thanks