₦airaland Forum

alutacontinua:
Male and female:
Same? NO
Equal? YES
Gender roles are totally welcome in my world, cos we are not made the same way and no matter how hard we try, the hormonal differences always have a way of differentiating us.

2 things don't have to be the same to be equal.
2 #5 noted are not the same, but equal to 1 #10 note.

Apart from the grammartical something in the opening post, I totally agree with the concept

Did not even see this earlier

A similar example was churning in my mind while the trend was trending

freshdude2:
There are homosexxuals among both sexes, planes crash, career robbers have been known to go to heaven. The exception maketh not the rule.

The family is an organisation, or at the very least, a department in the organisation of society.


@LewsTherin, I think you meant service and not servitude in your post. Check to confirm.

LOL!

I do not sleep with my boss/colleagues/subordinates neither do I feel gushy when they tell me I am beautiful or do they rub my legs and carry me to the room/position me to sleep properly.

My marriage is definitely not like an 'organisation'

Agrika:
Hmmm...thats one out of how many marriages

You can make yours that one

Odilafta:
I'm her role model,she would join me soon

That's also good

Stillfire:
This should be a topic on it's own, the way we just group everyone in Africa- the African man, the African woman, really when we all come from different cultures.

I tire when I hear African this and that!

The funny thing is that it is not used to refer to progressive stuffs; it is backward stuffs that they can easily yap "This is Africa"

Shior

Sophyrocks:
Hahahaha. Omotola role model for ladies? I guess we should emulate her in her runs and s*e*xcapades with some producers. Maybe she and her husband have an 'understanding'. How many of the men here praising her can give their wives the freedom to be this successful, to be actresses, allow men to frolick or fantasize about them s*e*xually?

You know NL guys na

I bet you, 90% of them cannot marry or cope with her

Odilafta:
Kitchen

Lucky you

Even Omo T our supposed role model is not in the kitchen

jennyhumphrey:
Am a guru in peeeling beans with blender. Trust me it works wonders, within 10 minutes u re done peeling.

How long do you soak it?

lightoftruth:
Read the post again, now slowly make sure that your brian is still inside your head. Then get back to me .

Are you all right?

I asked a simple question and the best you could do was to ignore it if you did not feel like answering

Don't ever quote me with such nonsense again

freshdude2:
The day women marry down without looking down at the husband, that day I'll believe in gender equality.

Have you surveyed all the marriages in Nigeria to know that all the women married 'up'?

LewsTherin:
There are many gender stereotypes I do not agree with. A good number of them are based on cultures. However, contrary to most people's belief, cultures and customs change. Once upon a time, it was tradition to wear particular animal hides during particular ceremonies. Today we wear particular cloth types for ceremonies that are very different from what we practiced then. Once, Chaka Zulu, the same great Chaka Zulu ordered his soldiers to train bare feet. Today any army that cannot provide proper boots for its troops will loose a war. Go ask Napoleon. My point is that as things change, as knowledge expands, as societal requirements evolve, cultures and traditions will change as well. Ergo, gender stereotypes based on culture and tradition are as usefull to me as a situation warrants. If the situation doesn't warrant, I can't be bothered and I don't agree with said stereotypes.

That said, there are stereotypes that I will not change, that should not change because of how and why they were instituted. I am a Christian in more than name. 1 Corinthians 11:3, Genesis 3:16, Ephesians 5:22, 5:25 all give the reasons why the male is the head of the house hold. It is so, because for reasons best known to God, He chose it to be so. But we should realise that the same God that made the husband head of the home is the same God that said the husband should head said home THE WAY CHRIST DOES HIS ie with love and servitude and honour and respect and regard and care. Christ is not an iron fisted dictator. He is a caring father. Do you realise He was almost always debating with His disciples? He always explained His reasons, He listened to their opinions, He valued their contributions even though He was God.

Irrespective of whatever society says, whatever culture and traditions say, I do what my God says.

For me, my Lady makes as many decisions as I do, as is needed. But where there is a tie breaker required, as head, I make it. But I do not sit with the morning's paper giving commands and instructions while she slaves in the kitchen, with the laundry, with the cleaning and still expect a great night afterwards. That is not Christian.

Worse, that is not even leadership.

This nailed it as regards the family front

And family is no way comparable to an organization

Agrika:
I don't believe in that word "love"...you know as in terms of "loving" someone who is not related to you by blood....i feel they are a lot of other important ingredients like Tolerance, patience, mutual respect, loyalty, being content with what you have, TRUST,etc which should be in a relationship other than the so called overated love....so many sad stories on family section, with one of the partners claiming she (it's mostly a she)still loves the man despite what he did to her....my advice to ladies out there...most especially the unmarried ones is to drop this notion of a fairy-tale marriage...where u live happily ever after with a handsome Denzel Washington-look-alike Prince Charming with 16 packs ,...try to be realistic and practical in life. Nobody knows u better than yourself...you know wat u want, knows what qualities u desire in a partner, and most especially should know when to have the courage to say No to a relationship that lacks these ingredients mentioned

True love makes marriage sweet and it is possible to have a 'fairy-tale marriage'

Some marriages are sweeter than what is obtainable in movies sef

lightoftruth:
If truly those words are hers, now I see reason why she wins countless awards and a chieftency title. She is really a star a role model to good girls of her like mind. She truly understands a woman place in the society. A woman endowed with best of the both worlds "beauty and brain" a rare gem.

What is the place of a woman in the society?

justirich:
“I don’t believe in gender equality. I do not believe that God made man and woman to be equal in any way. I believe that in every organised institution, there is always a head and an assistant. It doesn’t mean that one should take the other for granted, or disrespect the other. I believe the husband is the head of the home and the wife is an assistant."

"My husband is a pilot, I have flown with him several times and I understood that here is a captain and a co-pilot. They are both responsible for the passengers’ lives. But when there is a final decision to make, it is up to the captain to make it. He is more experienced and the one with the responsibility.”

“When there is a quarrel, I usually apologise first. He doesn’t say sorry. Overtime, I have come to realise that it is an ego problem. Even when he knows he is wrong, he will rather do every other thing or buy things for me than say, ‘I’m sorry.’ Fortunately, the ‘sorrys’ are not too many. He is very responsible and more hardworking than me. By God’s grace, we have been able to understand our routine.”

Opinion:
Are you surprised that her marriage has lasted so long and will continue forever? I'm not implying that women should be subjugated but most modern ladies try to take the God-given place of their man hence so many crashed marriages nowadays.

Pls drop your concurrences or disagreements below. #1luv

Nashville, come and see what I was talking about

@thread, I thought this thread was created last year or earlier this year?

@OP: I do not believe her though. If she takes her word seriously, she should have stopped wearing skimpy clothes when her husband told her to. A woman who knows she is 'under' a man would not dress indecently or snap indiscriminate pictures with other men

The same Omotola NLers have rubbished is suddenly a role model

#I am a fan of hers anyways

thorpido:
There is a perfect person for every man or woman. However, marrying that person depends on if you follow His guidance and direction.
As a human being, you have a free will to choose whoever you want who may not be God's choice for you.

100% supported

Onegai:
But why are we telling this girl not to marry this man? Doesn't she want to join that happy club of Nigerian wives who are praying, ignoring, docile, scared, fearful and looking beautiful in public?

OP, please tell your friend this:

"My dear, welcome to the club that is Nigerian Abusive marriage. Yes, he's beating you now, but I assure you it's going to get worse after marriage.

Who cares! At least you will have that big black jeep, holidays in Dubai and N100,000 brazilian weave on your hair and all the bleaching creame Fifi, Pelle and Mama Tega can mix, you will be the envy of your poor friends (whose husbands don't beat them, btw).

May I recommend the services of a good makeup artist and brands like Black Up, Maybelline and House of Tara? You're going to need lots of makeup to cover up those bruises, darling.

And the rest of the ladies in the Nigerian Abusive Marriage club will also tell you to have good nannies on standby: someone has to take the kids to that posh school in Ikoyi/Lekki in the morning whilst your swollen face is healing from all the pounding the night before.

Eventually he will graduate to beating you up for daring to ask him why he's cheating, so get ready to have a trendy pastor from an upscale church on speed-dial.

Your life is gonna be awesome!"

signed, all the really wealthy society ladies I know, including those whom we called the police for their hubbies, those whom we offered the spare bedroom to sleep (and escape from their angry hubbies), those whom I called the brother that's a doctor to help set bones (while she told her friends "she fell down the stairs", those whom their husbands slapped them publicly at their offices/shops for daring to challenge their gfs and all those ones looking stunning in the mall and at Ebeano and Spar and on the pages of Bella Naija and Thisday style.

Only one gave herself brain and is now fighting for a divorce. I think it was because she moved to England and 7 years later, got the courage to take him to court. And her abusive hubby is determined to NOT let her go. Lord knows why.

Lol!

I do not understand their love for suffering, praying,,enduring and God knows what else

I would like to examine their heads to see what goes on there.

A normal human' s instinct for self preservation is very strong.

Stillfire:
What exactly is African culture when Africa boasts of uncountable cultures?

I guess the custodians of African culture in NL will have to help us here

jaybee3:
Just asking

Yes

LewsTherin:
Word. If the wife isn't complaining, what's your business in who writes it?

My Lady and I work on the list together and we go shopping together if we do not use a shopping service. And there are times I do the lists myself cos I work better with the terms and conditions of the shopping service. So who cares who writes the list?

Stereotyping roles in families is one of the reasons there are so many issues in families. Let the better person handle any job. Or the more opportuned person. Why mandate roles based on gender? This is where communication and trust should comes in

I tire bo

This nailed it

Once again, weldone

ximarro:
Hello Guys, I've thought for sometime of creating a thread like this but haven't had the time...thank God i'm doing it now. It's not a strange thing to see that in some homes, d husband is in charge of preparing the market list as against the wife which is usually the norm. Those of you whose fathers do that and wives in the house whose husbands do that, please share your experiences especially if it is acceptable in our African Culture. In my own opinion, I do not see it as the right thing to do.

Next time you see such, please arrest them

I Don resurrect 3yr old thread

Where is the OP sef?

jaybee3:
You married?

Why did you ask?

Nice thread

Wonderful thread

Really need to hurry up with my kitchen cabinet so I can set all the stuffs I have.

Will try cooking cowleg with pressure pot today

This thread sounds like fun

@OP:

Yes

MARKone:
You contradicted yourself there. You are right about praying to have or receive the right partner, who do you pray to if not God. My submission about this partner thing is this, God the supreme being has already set for us whom to marry, in other words, there is a man designed for a particular woman and a woman created for a particular man, 陰陽 the issue now lies in finding that right person.

100% support

Finding the person is the issue. It does not mean you can't marry another if you don't find the person

dein77:
Good evening, my good NLanders!

I'm indeed happy to.be here.

I have been on NO for a little over 3 years but I have limited myself to Religion Section. That section can make one irreligious. The Atheists there fit kill person! Dem sami argue shaaa!

This evening, I had gone through a few posts and the accompanying comments, and was so disappointed I had frequented this beautiful section. It's my wish that you people will continue the good works here!

I have no business being here if I'm not going to learn a thing or two. The particular thread of losing a loved one brought some soberness to me. I lost a cousin last Saturday in a marine accident. It's being a tough period. We are still mourning!

I'm married with two kids....Born and brought up in Lagos. I'm from BY. I currently work in PH. I believe in simplicity. I believe in liberality.

God bless you all, as you welcome me here!

Shalom. Good nite!

Welcome to family section

Hope you enjoy your stay

God bless your home

Ab025:
women are very selfish human beings, they only think of themselves most times and what they feel they need

Our Nigerian women of nowadays lack PATIENCE and are always in a hurry.

she should leave her husband if she feel having a baby is superior to the marriage or for the gear of menopause, that's her business, but remember, there is a GOD

Ordinary 36yrs of age!!

Bros, please keep quiet!

A typical man would have had kids outside or married another wife if his wife was the cause

If you saw a 36yr old unmarried woman, would you tell her 'just 36ys'?

Sometimes I don't understand some people

Advise her to stay if you will but cut that crap of selfishness

5minsmadness:
Good advice.


I repeat IT IS SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE FOR A MAN TO GIVE HIS WHOLE SALARY TO HIS WIFE. Society will think you used juju on him or he is a wimp and cannot manage his own home. A good wife will always want to portray her Hus and in a good light if not the disgrace and snide remarks from outsiders will ruin the marriage before it gets started.


Those who don't like my comment can now go and naaked themselves and hug transformer.

It is 'socially unacceptable' for either party to give their whole salary to the other. Since couples now table all their affairs at the corporation of social acceptability.

ferdimako:
Which one be prowness? You must not see as long as ur eyes are at his money while keeping yours.

Excuse me?

voltron:
It is extremely difficult to look before you leap in Marriage simply because both couples are courting in a "Conditioned" environment where things happen the way they are "meant" to happen.. Happily Ever After.. I often encourage couples planning for marriage to move in with each other and have seex before marriage. live life like a real couple for at least 1 year and then decide if you want to go the whole hog. 10 years later.. we are still strong even with all the revelations that I was not really a quiet nice romantic guy .

I don't believe they have to cohabit or have s.ex before they know each other. With openness, prayers and them watching like a hawk (especially the lady), they are good to go. There is no room for secondguessing; you don't like what you see or hear, tackle it. No I think he means bla bla.

Nobody is a mind reader