₦airaland Forum

nothing is impossible. Ramadan will start April next year and border will be reopened 2 months before Ramadan.
actually border closure is not targeted at Christians. however ,it is a sin for a muslim in authority to cause suffering for other muslims.

kayusely70:
I married my wife on november 23, 1991 and are blessed with three issues, all graduates SOLELY financed by me. She has turned them against me and hates my family.

if the children are truly yours, try to settle the matter. if you divorce her,children will hate you more.

MusaChukwudi:
Ok I get your point but I am an atheist.

why?

MusaChukwudi:
You hate divorce? You haven't seen or experienced some mad spouse.....,divorce is an important part of the process. A lot of couples discover their incompatibility after marriage. In my own case my ex-wife just wanted to save all her money but wants to spend all of mine. And I should stick with her?

As a Christian,only ground for divorce is adultery. Separation can occur in a number of cases -threat to life etc. Those married will experience tribulation in flesh

kayusely70:
I will have to handle it myself as i cant afford the lawyer's fee.

I hate divorce though. why not try dispute resolution

kayusely70:
What are the steps to be taken

Two ways
1.Return of bride price and bridal lists with involvement of families. register dissolution of marriage in the local govt
2. Petition customary court-legal service may be required to write a potent divorce petition. if petitioner is dealing with difficult spouse, a lawyer is needed to represent him or her in court otherwise petition can represent himself or herself in court.

computergeek:
Update On The Wife Battery Case: She Went Back To The Abusive Man

What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.

,......

So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.

He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.

My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.

My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.

Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.

Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.

The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.

Op has done the right thing. Frankly speaking , physical insult with mark of violence is a criminal offence. Police should do their job. Please, op, let police knows as you are withdrawing the case that it is their responsibility to investigate the case and battery is a criminal offence not otherwise.
if woman had died in rushing her to hospital, op and her family would have been in 'hot soup' now.
Deductions and lessons:
1. There is serious secret between the victim and her husband
2. Too much familiarity with our neighbours is not the best. Familiarity brings contempt.
3. Some women see abusive relationship as normal because their mother was abused by their father and she endured it.

kayusely70:
Where can a marriage registered by a local govt be dissolved

customary court

crackhaus:
Getting her to the hospital and getting in touch with the friend she asked for, is all the best the OP needed to do.

Any other thing that was done after the victim herself told her to withdraw the police case is oversabi, because she does not know the full story of what is going on between husband and wife.

hmm

isgombe:
Good afternoon my people.
I am currently 25years old and have A BSc. degree in physiology. I have passion for medicine an i wanted to re-apply, though the school that i want (is in my state) is partially accredited by MDCN, but they have final year student.

The reason i wanted to apply for the school is that i need to open a shop that i can be running my business and also.

Please I need your view considering my age? is it okay for me to start all over again from 100level or should i apply for DE in different state?

Thank you.

If you have funds, ilorin is good to go.

barragan:
By circular road, they mean the road goes all the way around Ibadan, which by the way is the biggest city in this country.

and neglecting roads connecting major communities or towns in the state

GAZZUZZ:
ok

the issue is that they were given fake receipt

virtual7:
We were travelling from Kaduna to Jalingo on Tuesday morning, if you ply that route you should know how hectic it is.We had to sleep at Bauchi in order that we may continue the long journey Wednesday morning. We did that and met FRSC officials who charged us for driver's license violation. They took us to their office and booked us N16,000.After pleading, arguing to n fro the official in charge said N8,000.When we wanted to go to bank to pay he discouraged us that it's stressful and no bank around. That we should give a staff there N10,000 plus N2,000 transport. we did and were given a receipt for the N10,000. This happened at the FRSC office developmental area Bara, Kirfi local government area bauchi.The officer in charge is Offr MA Ibrahim. RS 12.15 Barra. He wore two star rank. I still have the receipt with me.
Attached is the fake receipt he gave us. The officer is fair and has tribal marks.Offr MA Ibrahim. His junior officers are accomplices, one even wrote his number for us at the back of the receipt but no name and his uniform has no name tag. He is plumpy and dark in complexion.
Please anyone with an idea how or who I can report this fraud to?

https://m.facebook.com/FRSCNigeria/photos/a.427765592016/10152412271317017/?type=3

send them message in face book with evidence or write petition to icpc. check icpc website for more information. give it a trial

GAZZUZZ:
two wrongs.

Giver of bribe, receiver of bribe, coupled with driver with no licence . My take let it slide

this guy is a fraud

Vision2ae:
Yahoo mother's association of Nigeria.. instead of probing tinubu...na dis type of work they like

so that we will not have more tinubus

quizpaid:
Politics everywhere instead of you to monitor their work properly you stop them because you want to give the job to your people.

how can you spend #65b on circular road in ibadan while other roads in other parts of state are in terrible state?

unfortunately, nobody is governing lagos.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

if eventually she turns to be a virgin, do you think narailand advisers would believe you? she told you in relationship that no sex before marriage and you agreed. we should all learn to respect others. what is essence of being a Christian if you cannot obey God command.

valentineuwakwe:
The Federal Government on Tuesday said there was no going back on the October 31 deadline President Muhammadu Buhari gave public servants to register for the Integrated Payroll and Personnel Information System .
The Minister of Finance, Budget and National Plannning , Mrs Zainab Ahmed, who stated this while briefing journalists after the National Economic Council meeting chaired by Vice President Yemi Osinbajo at the Presidential Villa, Abuja, added that members of Academic Staff Union of Universities must join the IPPIS .
She said , “ I didn ’t see the notice that ASUU is to go on strike if they are forced to be on the IPPIS . The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has directed that every agency of government , every worker must be on the IPPIS . And my job is to comply with the President’ s directive . That is what I do and we are going to do that . ”
The minister, however , said there was still room for negotiation , adding , “ We will be engaging ASUU ; we will be discussing with them. ”
ASUU threatens strike over FG payroll system
But ASUU members in Bauchi , Gombe and Plateau states said they would resist the IPPIS .
The Zonal Coordinator of ASUU , Prof. Lawan Abubakar, stated this while addressing journalists at a press conference held at the Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University , Bauchi .
He said , “ We already have a standing order for our members that ‘if you are not paid, you don’ t work’ , as simple as that. In fact , if we don’ t get our salary, the next day of the new month , we will not work.”
National Secretary, Congress of University Academics, Dr Henry Oripeloye, in an interview, said the group would make its decision on the IPPIS known later in the week.
He said the OAU chapter of CONUA would hold its congress on Thursday, adding that other chapters would deliberate on the issue during their meetings expected to hold before Friday this week.
“ We derive our powers from the congress. The OAU chapter will hold its congress on Thursday this week and we expect that other chapters will hold their congresses this week. After that had been completed, then the national body will look into the resolutions of the congresses and take position on the issue of the IPPIS , ” Oripeloye said .
source: https://punchng.com/no-going-back-on-ippis-says-finance-minister/

Buhari will not blink.

Yigiyaga:
Nonsense!

what is nonsense? God?

ImaIma1:
Many people debate on dis issue a lot. for some its ok but for some others its like "are u kidding me? No sex?!! so seriously what do u guys think about a relationship wit no sex?

if you believe in what God says, there would be need for this question.

If I wear shoe of #200k,shirt #150,000 and boxer #100000, will they remove my wear? laws are made to extort people. for xtra personal items, 5% VAT is ok.

bayortech:
Hello my fellow nlanders, I have been given
admission to Funaab, and the deadline for
acceptance fee payment is Nov 8, and I only
have 15k with me now, please help me in anyway
you can, this is my account details
Ridwan Ismail bayonle
0057711415
Sterling bank
Thanks.

You are yet to get admission and you are clamouring yoruba muslim presidency. All nuslims in south west are ready to pay your schoo l fees. kudos!!!!

johnmba:
All I explained happened some years back.

We don't depend on him for money. We are all hustling our own but he is our brother. I don't call him to ask for money but I should be able to call my own blood brother and talk with him.

Please free him as long as he is taking care of your parents. work your way to the top without asking him for anything. at least he had bought car for first son. his eyes would open moment you are successful as him. mind you he is not a politician. his sweat, his money.

True talk.

ademidedavid:
Give us evidence, or else it's just another way to siphon money from we poor nairalanders

He is looking for ngo that can help him,not really asking for money

Legionx:
You know a school environment where all the girls prefer to walk half naked in bum shorts showing their legs, thighs and leaving nothing to imagination.

I'm trying to keep my focus but it's not easy. Lots of girls say I'm handsome and too serious... Those words make me think I can get a girl without stress

But

I'm trying to achieve my goals but the sexual urge sometimes makes my head dizzy....

I'm not broke, I got a medium size gen, TV, GOtv and all that... Which is probably why the ladies are showing interest...

How can I forge ahead when all I see is ass, laps and thighs whenever I step out...

www.jw.org.
How Can I Keep My Mind Off
® “Thoughts about sex come from nowhere and completely take over. It’s as if someone else’s brain were in my head.”—Vera.
“Controlling thoughts about sex seems impossible. I might as well start flapping my arms and hope to fly.”—John.
Are your feelings similar to those of Vera or John? If so, this article can help you.
“My uncle told me that God wouldn’t have given me the desire for sex if he didn’t want me to act on it,” says a young man named Alex.
Part of what Alex’s uncle said was correct—God did give us sexual desires, and for good reason. The human race exists today as a direct result of procreation. So why should you even be concerned about keeping your mind off sex? Here are two good reasons:
The Bible teaches that God’s purpose is that sex should take place only between a man and woman who are married to each other.— Genesis 1:28; 2:24 .
If you respect that standard and you’re single, dwelling on sex will only frustrate you. It could even tempt you to give in and
have sex—a decision that many have said they later regretted.
Keeping your mind off sex is part of a larger issue— self-control. —1 Corinthians 9:25 .
That attribute plays a key role in your success, both now and in the future. In fact, one study showed that children with self-control were less likely later in life to have health issues, financial stress, and problems with the law.
Why is it so difficult?
Hormones—added to the fact that we live in a sex-obsessed world—can make it challenging to keep your mind off sex.
“It seems as if every TV show puts a positive spin on premarital sex, without showing any dangers. It’s easy to dwell on improper thoughts when improper sex isn’t shown to have any consequences.”—Ruth.
“At work, I overhear a lot of vulgar talk about sex, and my curiosity starts working on me. Immoral sex is made to seem so normal that it’s hard to think of it as wrong.”—Nicole.
“It’s easy to let your guard down when you’re scrolling through images on social media. One sexual image can burn into your brain and become the hardest thing to forget!”—Maria.
Factors such as these might make you feel the way the apostle Paul did. He wrote: “When I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me.”— Romans 7:21 .
Don’t allow wrong thoughts to build a nest on your head
What you can do
Direct your mind elsewhere. Try to focus on things besides sex. This could include a hobby, sports, exercise, or any activity that can redirect your focus. “Reading the Bible helps,” says a young woman named Valerie. “It contains thoughts that are on a higher plane, and when you have that in your mind, you don’t really have much room for anything else.”
True, thoughts about sex may enter your mind. But what you do with those thoughts is up to you. If you choose to, you have the power to dismiss them.
“When my thoughts start to get away from me, I make myself mentally switch over to something else. I also try to identify the mental opening that I gave myself—whether it’s a song that I should delete from my playlist or a picture that I need to delete.”—Helena.
Bible principle: “Whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste [or, morally “pure,” footnote], . . . continue considering these things.”— Philippians 4:8 .
Choose good associates. If your friends are always talking about sex, it’s going to be difficult to keep your mind clean.
“As a teenager, I really struggled with my thoughts, and a large factor was my associates. When you’re around people who encourage wrong desires, you focus on your feelings—and that just adds fuel to the fire.”—Sarah.
Bible principle: “The one walking with the wise will become wise, but the one who has dealings with the stupid will fare badly.”—
Proverbs 13:20 .
Avoid improper entertainment. It’s no secret that virtually every aspect of the entertainment industry features sexual content. “For me, music is the biggest factor,” says Nicole. “It can fuel desires to the point that they seem overwhelming.”
“I started watching movies and TV shows that featured sexual content. Before I knew it, I was thinking a lot about sex. It was easy to trace those thoughts back to their source. Once I cut out those movies and TV shows, I didn’t think so much about sex anymore. Being selective with entertainment makes the battle against improper thoughts so much easier.”—Joanne.
Bible principle: “Let sexual immorality and every sort of uncleanness or greediness not even be mentioned among you.”— Ephesians 5:3 .
The bottom line: Some people think that their sexual urges are so important that they should not—and cannot—be controlled. But the Bible says otherwise. It dignifies us by stating that we can control our thoughts.
Bible principle: “Continue to be made new in your dominant mental attitude.”— Ephesians 4:23 .
What your peers say
“Entertainment seems designed to induce improper thoughts. To the best of our ability, we should control our environment and be selective about what we view. We should avoid putting ourselves in situations that will fuel wrong desires.”—Tyler.
“Self-control is maintained by keeping up a good routine of Bible reading and study along with prayer. Usually when a person has a problem with constant improper thoughts, it’s because that routine is lacking.”—Yad

Efewestern:
Their capital Kigali is beautiful and neat no doubt, but Rwanda is still no where close to us In terms of GDP (per capital and nominal) and HDI. Even in east Africa they are not among the top 3.

Rwanda is highly overrated and overhyped by some of you, I understand your dislike for the country, believe me, I'm also mad at our stupid leaders, but common, Rwanda?

What you see online is just a mirage.

yes,Rwanda is a poor nation yet more than 90% coverage in health insurance. man, Rwanda is laying ground for the future. no matter GDP of a nation, without good foundation and planning,everything is doom.

Adikam:
if I tell wetin my childhood friend do me 3 weeks ago that am still on it now, you will know that this guy story is even normal, we grow up together, if not that I see it coming na only God for know were I for day now, I went with my friends to see him & I asked him have I offended you before? He was looking at me like status...

tell us more. for me, no friends no foes. world is dangerous place

ABOVEDELAW:
LORD DENNINGS, MASTER OF THE ROLLS, MAY IT HAPPEN TO YOU VERY SOON!

It would soon happen to him-risk assessment

solmusdesigns:
i also pray a principal suspect or witness to a case of your roberry , kidnap, rape assualt isnt release without proper investigation

man, try to read administrative of criminal justice law in Nigeria. in this case, police officers are criminals.