₦airaland Forum

dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.

2020 is in 15 days time, don't let that idiot have any sort of relationship with you come new year.

He's potentially a violent person walking amongst civil beings.

Maybe he's been redpilled and want you to fall onto his feet to worship him or something.

Ah! Knocking your head? You even get mind stay after hearing things he's confirming to you? Running is the best thing now, married/dating and dead can never compare with single and alive.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

He's a grown ass baby boy.

He's just not what you need from what you outlined, just like the few first comments read, run my dear for your dear life before he kills you in one of those mad rage of his.

Abeg which woman no dey receive prepositions from men? The difference is that the woman keep batting these off constantly because she's taken. And, the probability that he cheats may be very significant.

Run o.

Yes, if there's the intrinsic motivation to return to school, go back and do well.

You may come out and get a job or get so good you create jobs.

But go back only if you're really ready to weather it all through.

pocohantas:
SUFFERHEAD marketer. Get very comfortable shoes and socks, you will need it.

You are a variant of contract staff. Salary range between N(20,000-50,000). Maybe some banks pay more. Hardly ever seen one/any.

-Your job function is retail marketing, drive savings deposits and e-banking channels. I doubt DSAs do risk assets, though they can ask you to bring any you see, for the sake of the branch paying you salary.

-You will have number of accounts target. Daily/weekly/monthly. You will also have deposit targets. Something like, 3accts a day, 15/week, 60/month. 5-10m deposit a month. You mustn't do all, 50% and above can keep you afloat.

- You might be lucky to get someone that will give you huge deposits which would make you earn big in commissions. If not, you have to start from the scratch to mobilize deposits. You go waka ehn, all the market people go know you.

- You get your pay (and commissions), leave allowance, pension, christmas rice/groundnut oil. Not so sure of their package, but nothing special.

- You'll be restricted on types of accts to open. Leave some for the bigger people (core staff).

- You will grow to be a very angry somebody when you see the bank employing core staff that are your mates and some your junior. You can't escape this feeling of anger o.

- You will start showing your anger, nagging over the poor treatment and sometimes acts of rebellion/insubordination.

- Maybe you will be an extraordinary DSA and your bank will try to convert you. It is not because they like you too much, paying you as a core staff is cheaper than your commission at that point.


I understand the country is hard, but if I have to be a banker- core staff or nothing. Know what you are getting into. E hard o.

Have a nice day.

It seems your head runs on a different kind of oil.

Corporations are milking the average worker out there with little or no benefits for the future.

I'd ask, while not weather it and start something, Nigeria have the biggest market in Africa +15 other Ecowas countries, if we can think outside the box, poverty will be gone for good.

MegzSA:
I tend to be very goal oriented and somewhat of a perfectionist. these traits can be bad because not everyone wants their lives micromanaged but I'm working on it though

You're working on a core-system flaw? I mean being a perfectionist. That's one of my worst negative trait.

I'm goal oriented half the time people are around me, this makes me very low on sexual gratification.

I'm beginning to see another pattern in my life, I'm hesitant when it comes to love. I hold the trigger until everything fizzle out.

I'm a featherweight, I up and leave people with no backwards connections to them.

I'm also vindictive, subtly yes.

I'm a flawed man, but not close to being a terrible person.

Very insightful posts here.

I'm a student and I'm really mortified by these things when they happen.

For some strange reasons, I decided not to date after my relationship crashed about two months into my freshman year, every day I don't enter a relationship, I feel like I'm avoiding the inevitable once I do.

I know of a lady that they spent 4m on, and the benevolent man isn't going to marry her, because it's not the will of God, and hers too.

I'm just biding my time, just weeks now and I'll leave this ocean of distrusts.

Angelfrost:
Guy, it's normal in football, business, and life... Every top club goes through such rough patches... It's far worse if the league is highly competitive like EPL and Serie A (to a lesser degree).

Yeah, perfectly understandable.

Today's result just wasn't what I had anticipated, but we move.

Angelfrost:
United's issue was transition... Changing from Ferguson to Moyes was too bad and dumb a mistake for such a top club to make...

Bringing in Van Gaal after was just worse...

They will get back to the top, but it will be a long walk back to the top.

Na so e dey begin.


Make their fans dey watch the decline.

Ryocaj:
Britush Empire was actually weakened by World War..USA served as its armoury n last resort coz proximity made it safe from d war.. That Birthed d power US wields.. coupled with d disintegration of The Soviet Union.. US is no longer d sole world power now. there are abt 7 world powers currently that dictate World affairs..

I understand these.

Factors are responsible for decline in any organization or entity. For GB, it was the wars.

For United, it is well, post-Ferguson era confusion.

Justinlean02:
its football bro, you can't stay at the top forever, also in life that you're young today doesn't mean another wouldn't address you as elder in the future... Reason with me

Perfectly sir.

Ximenez:
She's a guy, not a female and perhaps I'm taking him too seriously.

Talking about history.

Liverpool are on course to win their first ever premier league title.

Leicester are also pushing for a second for the second time as underdogs.

Man City are looking to win the title three consecutive times without Howard Webb.

Chelsea are vying for a champions league spot with a transfer ban and at the same time bringing through academy stars.

Man U are making their worst start to a premier league season after 33 years. Just five wins after 15 games. After finishing sixth last season.

I can not but conclude that you're very intelligent and factually balanced.

I never saw that F/M gender thing. Perfect observation.

DownChelsea:
I need numbers. A total. Do your homework

Please, what is your real name?

DownChelsea:
do you now agree that chelsea is mediocre historically speaking and even in this millenium? I’m sure you do. Try your best to feel good with Everton’s win. Life is short

Life is very very short, and you're here trumpeting United?

I feel good knowing I stand better chances than you. I feel good knowing I have witnessed the best and most successful spell in English football.

My club past is in the past, I witnessed the most amazing and most beautiful parts of it modernity, to Chelsea loyalists, we dub it the Roman Empire.

DownChelsea:
talking about growing numbers. I can assure you that since you became a chelsea fan, United has won more trophies than you club, Liverpool, city, arsenal. Who is hoarding numbers.

2005/2006.


It's incomparable. United and Chelsea. So don't worry about us, worry about yourself.

DownChelsea:
you even brought a timeline. And in the timeline you brought, you shot your own foot. Players and clubs are different too. Players don’t last forever but clubs do. So the successes of clubs are determined “for its entire lifetime”

I'm full with this your one-sided analogy.

Na so Britain take lose world power to US, and US severely threatened by China.

Keep deluding yourself.

DownChelsea:
stop lying to yourself. Have you counted the trophies. How many did you count for each team. Say it out loud let your fellow fans hear it. Don’t be shy. If you won’t. I will post it for your fellow fans to see

Keep counting the miserly few you have and you'll be overtaken by those ambitious young bloods that don't care about what they have but more pressed about more.

It's vilifying pride to continue hoarding numbers instead of growing it.

Ximenez:
Man City have won 4 league titles in the last 8 seasons, Even Leicester have one, that's how club gather trophies little by little. But Man U is stagnant. The only team in Europe that can afford to overpay for players but can't afford to make progress. They will come here and start ejaculating on how they've won it a decade ago.

The fat over-priced Maguire came and was handed the captain's arm band after 2 minutes probably cos he's British, or because De Gea who has been saving the club from relegation since Old Fergie left, doesn't deserve it.

Even Herrera said it, that he noticed that football is not the most important thing at Man U

Lol! You're smart and fluid in thinking.

I wanted to quote this auntie jumping around sharing emotional concerns over Chelsea, but I don't want to mention her moniker. Lol.

DownChelsea:
modernity? Yet you brought of false millenia claim. Football has no timeline. A certain English club is the most successful both in history, AND in this very millenium we are. (And that club is not chelsea) YOU KNOW THE CLUB.

Wow! You vehemently denying that timeline exists in football is the worst argument I've entered in 2019.

Ferguson Era is a timeline, Pele era is a timeline, CR7 era, Messi era to mention a few.

Babe, please go and upgrade your horizons, else you'll keep lagging and that's how Nottingham Forest lost it. That's how Huddersfield Town lost it too.

DownChelsea:
excatly. So pls start counting trophies won from since them till date. If you’re a chelsea fan pls don’t count cos you won’t like the numbers you’ll see

The only thing you won more was the EPL, and I know you're not gonna compete for that in the next 5years. Keep battling your miserable midtable positions.

Liverpool are back, I wonder how many years it'd take you to do same.

DownChelsea:
chelsea will continue to pursue success because they hate the fact that “others are more successful”. Goodluck chasing what you apparently can’t reach

Good luck wasting your energy hating on a club that you'll never match it modernity.

Aturitoroman:
Pulisic 2goals please

Supported!

DownChelsea:
one question! When did this millenia start? Are you actually comparing chelsea and united this millenium? Are you this much of a joke

2000.

But in football season, I think 1999/2000.

DownChelsea:
clubs like liverpool and united are what you cannot become. Goodluck playing catchup! A man who says Chelsea has thrived!! Lol

You keep looking backwards that you've lost your way forward.

Chelsea will continue to pursue success, not to become another United or Kop, just because it's the drive to thrive that move us.

DownChelsea:
Goodluck catching up. Hope is all you need, now you gat it! Besides, United is the most successful this millenia so you are wrong. AND football wasn’t invented last year or 5,10,20 years ago. So do not give success(in football), or greatness of clubs a timeline. Earn your greatness for others have earned theirs.

United is? Wow! We're debating that, how have the greatest fallen.

You see? We've risen that we almost lost sight of you as well. You don't stand far off from us this millennia.

DownChelsea:
I like when you said “Rome wasn’t built in a day” so focus on your continued construction and don’t argue with those you have nothing on, cos some of us have gone way tooooo far in our own building. I would only agree that Chelsea has thrived if I was a fan of City or Everton or tottenham. But apparently I’m seated in a very high place.

Goodluck catching up. Hope is all you need, now you gat it! Besides, United is the most successful this millenia so you are wrong. AND football wasn’t invented last year or 5,10,20 years ago. So do not give success(in football), or greatness of clubs a timeline. Earn your greatness for others have done theirs.

Everything you've been talking about is thrash, some insane level of BS.

At bolded, your seat can't be higher than 5th place. Oh! Wait, you're still fighting Spurs and Wolves for that.

Baby, I admire you, because you're not what we want to become.

Justinlean02:
I honestly don't wanna sound misquoted yes we recognise the progress you've made as a club but show some respect to your elders they laid the foundation you're trying to attain... chicken shit no too reason I'm just bored on this weekend cause My Gunners are GONE.

Sincerely I like Arsenal because they've declined and may become the next Nottingham Forest of English football, elders like you say will die before the young.

It's our time to control the colours that London will be painted as.

You've been Out-GUNNED by your Blue Bros. Adios.

DownChelsea:
but all the hate chelsea has suffered in its entire existence hasn’t made it thrive as much as other apparent greater clubs (even in the same country).

Sorry!

Wow! That's amazing to know.

If you're oblivious as to why we like our blood to run Blue, which obviously you are, it's because we might not have the heritage of Liverpool or United but we're modern in the football aspect, we get things done on the pitch.

Again, we've thrived more than you can see.

The Roman Empire is about the best any English team have ever enjoyed since the start of this millennia.

5 Epl titles.
1 UCL title , mind you, it's the first and only in the Great City of London.
2 UEL titles.
5 FA Cup wins,
3 League Cup wins.

No be mouth, we've thrived, stop hating on us.

DownChelsea:
Everton will likely win by 1-0.

Meanwhile, the only point of attention to day is when the Champions of England face the Greatest of England later today.

#pray4arsenal

Sweetheart, hate us as you like, you will never finish above us in the league.

We're Chelsea, and hate makes us thrive.

Been long I fronted as a Chelsea fan on Nairaland.


#COYB
#Tamaraebi4DKill
#CapAmerica4DKill

PrecisionFx:
Then I will tell them that i never raped u, that we are gay lovers.

I just realized I shouldn't have obliged you with my first response.

Consider this second one as a bonus.

PrecisionFx:
If i rape u, will u get documented proof n report to the police?

Why not?

Ladies, I don't know if it's making sense o, but get a report once there's an incident of sexual abuse, harassment or rape.

Get documented proof, we know sexual predators are out there, but don't wait until the evidence have been wiped clear before using Social Media as your law court.

Sincerely, I'm seriously conflicted about “I was deflowered through rape” or “he raped me” blah blah blah.

We want to eliminate criminogenic behaviours, but please give us something to believe in, some sort of evidence.