₦airaland Forum

MisterRuk:
The masculine is action. The feminine is reaction.
Why am I saying this?
I've observed that some of the bad habits of women(reaction) were influenced by the weakness of some men (action). There won't be hoes on the streets if there weren't men patronizing them. Girls won't be flocking to sugar daddies if there weren't men unfaithful in their marriages. OnlyFans and Pornhub thots won't be raking so much money than tech startups if there weren't men pouring their time and money into them. Your girlfriend won't have a Love Machine in her handbag if you weren't masturbating to porn (she might still though). Single mom parenting that we criticise won't exist if we as men took responsibility and be careful with our choices. Women won't be manipulating men with their bodies when there are lots of men who value character and personality over "breast and yansh".
I'm not trying to justify the sexual amoral attitudes of women nowadays but I'm saying that as men we have to check ourselves first. Sometimes we say "women did this", " women are that " but what about us? Hating women or acting blackpilled would not solving anything especially if you're financially and morally infertile.
Men are meant to create order in the society but today a lot of we guys are morally, physically, spiritually, and financially weak. A lot of 4th wave feminists and gender crazies use some of these weaknesses to justify their actions. Rather than complaining about women we should learn to take responsibilities for our own actions too and carry our cross lest we feed the all consuming power of chaos.
We have to become superior men, uphold strong values and stand for the truth (our own truth especially). If you're a frequent patron to porn don't cry if you see your girlfriend featuring in one.
There would be a lot of hoes in the name of "female empowerment" and destroying destinies at the end but you will choose to be the better man and chose to follow straight road.

Someoneschild2:
The message in the first image is not what I'm bothered about but the comment in the second image.

I read,i laughed and I frowned because I wondered "just how dumb can a supposed homo sapien be?"

Lmfao @ " the men need to have their behaviours examined"

Oldoinyolengai:
I agree with you for 50%.
Why full siblings raised under the same roof, from their birth to adulthood and beyond express different traits, resulting into different destiny?
Or why in most families there are "first born curse" to explain for the oldest son's sociopathic behavior and "a bread winner" to explain for the second son's talents in economic success?

Oldoinyolengai:
What baffles me is why, say two brothers with same parents, similar growing environment end up having different destiny?

CAPSLOCKED:
HERE'S A STORY POSTED BY THE JOURNALIST Chris Kehinde Nwandu (CKN).


I am a medical doctor while my husband is a software developer. We both had good jobs until my husband lost his job and getting another well paid job became difficult, we both decided that I should travel to Canada for a job I got around that time and when I am stabilised, he would join me with the children. We are blessed with 2girls. We continued with our lives.

December 2018, I decided to come to NIGERIA for the festivities and to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. When I arrived, I noticed a tensed atmosphere between my daughters and their father. I thought it was the teenager – parent’s issue, so I ignored it. But when I noticed that my daughters would sometimes be rûde to their father, I demanded to know what was going on. This became a matter of concern because, my daughters used to adore their father. I tried several times to get my daughters to speak with me but all they had to say was for me to talk to my husband.

I had to ask my husband what was going on. He told me it was nothing he could not handle and that our daughters were keeping bad company in school and because of this, he decided to disallow them from going out and attending parties. He drops them in school and created time to pick them from school.

I was happy as such strong hand is needed for teenage girls. I then ignored their attitude. Few days to when I was to travel back to Canada. I called my daughters to speak with them. After a long talk, they told me that daddy did not want them to go out because he was having séx with both of them. When my husband came back from the office, I confronted him and they repeated what they told me in his presence. My husband denied vehemently but the girls insisted that it was happening.

I was confused and I sought the counsel of our pastor and his parents. They called our daughters and they said the same thing. I didn’t know who to believe. My husband kept begging me to believe him but I just was not ready to listen because I could not see reason why our children would lie about such. I made arrangement and took my children back to Canada with me despite the loans I had to take, for the extra costs. While I filed for divorce. I raised my children alone for about 3years. Then I heard the news that my now ex husband was getting married to someone else. I mentioned it to the girls and expressed how sad I was that a man that would do that to his daughters went scotfree because there is no evidence to push a case. I bursted out crying while apologizing to my girls about what he put them through. It was there that they confessed that their father did not touch them. That they lied because their father did not give them the freedom to do what they wanted and they wanted to leave NIGERIA.
My world shattered. where do I start from? How do I beg my husband? What do I say? Probably, I should have trusted my husband, but I was just trying to be a good mother.

I lost a good man. How do I get him to forgive his children and I ? Can I still save my home ?
Please help me.


BELIEVE ALL WOMEN AT YOUR OWN DETRIMENT. A FEW YEARS BACK A 3-YEAR-OLD GIRL ACCUSED ME OF TRYING TO ASSAULT HER SEXUALLY. I WAS HOUSING HER MOTHER (MY COUSIN) AT THE TIME. NORMALLY THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED BETWEEN I AND AN ADULT FEMALE CUZ ALL MY LIFE I'VE HELD UP MY GUARD LIKE A SPARTAN WHEN IT COMES TO FOLKS FROM THE FEMALE GENDER, BUT TO HAVE A 3-YEAR-OLD COOK UP A STORY LIKE THAT OUT OF THE BLUES, IS JUST GOING TO GO DOWN AS THE ONLY THING THAT EVER LEFT ME LOST AND DUMBFOUNDED IN MY LIFETIME. GUYS YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN SCENES. HOW SHE LEARNED THAT SCRIPT AND WAS ABLE TO PLAY IT AT AGE 3 SHOULD LEAVE ME CONFUSED BUT HER MOTHER WAS KIND OF THE WORST PERSON ON THE PLANET, AND WITH NO FATHER FIGURE, NO WAY A BABY'S LIFE WON'T BE MERCILESSLY SCREWED FROM THE GET GO.

MOST FEMALES ARE FINDING FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND INFORMATION TO BE USEFUL AS THE PERFECT EQUIPMENT TO RUIN THE LIVES OF MEN. THERE'S NO PERFECT ANGEL OR DISNEY PRINCESSES ANYWHERE. ONCE YOU DROP YOUR GUARD IT'S OVER FOR YOU.

Oldoinyolengai:
You have clearly described Cain and Abel.
First son the jungle wanderer, and second son the bread winner.
Both red men and blue men are pre determined.
On the street, the way men are, they are so because nature decided them to be in that way, not because some worked smart or because others messed up.
Birth position in great extent determines someone's destiny, it's either a psychopath gene spreader or a gentleman provider.

tensazangetsu20:
My mom uses it now.

KiNg0G:
hope you got a refund of your money?
hahaha

sabbiboi:
Psychology explains it as Propinquity Effect : That when two opposite sex have close contact with each other, maybe on a daily, it's likely they develop feelings.

i926:
How should a guy handle attentions coming frm random ladies & female co-workers trying to flirt? I do snub them and ignore them...I know it's rude.
My female co-workers say I'm always serious doing my own shit.

Should I activate my social mode or continue my partial monk mode?

Pukkalolo:
You are right brother, being the nice guy can be very dangerous...
But, if you dig down the dating hole, you'll notice these 2 simple things that shows that being the nice guy to girls isn't even the issue...

What are they?

The number 1 thing:

The problem isn't that ladies don't fancy nice act from a guy, the problem is that ladies assume that most nice guys are only being nice to get the pussy, that is why they don't really fancy nice guys. Basically, ladies don't really have anything against nice guys, but what they despise is, the fact that he's using being nice as a trick to win her heart and pussy.

But now if you advice a nice guy: "Stop being the nice guy."

The advice seem like a good one, at least from a redpill perspective, but sometimes that doesn't really help the nice guy because in his mind he might think that the solution is to go the other direction, that's being a total asshole to girls, Which might not be a helpful move.

So instead of telling the nice guy, "Stop being the nice guy,"

I'll tell him:

"You can be nice to a girl if you want to but be willing to fucking walk away from her the moment you are not getting the treatment you want."

If you are nice to a lady, but she also sees that you are willing to Walk Away from her and ghost her silly ass anytime she doesn't treat you right, she'll treat you like king. I am speaking from experience tho.


The number 2 thing :
Being nice to a girl isn't even the problem, the problem is being nice to the WRONG girl. Here's the fact that most experience guys can attest to: being good with girls isn't necessary about being good at getting girls in general, is simply about being good in getting with the RIGHT girls and avoiding the wrong ones.

In few minutes of interacting with a lady, I can tell if she's wrong girl that's gonna waste my time, give me unnecessary headaches and add more burden to life. Infact, sometimes, in few seconds I can spot a wrong girl..

Let me give you an example so you can understand my point.

Let's play with an hypothetical scenario... Imagine CaveAdullam invite 2 guys to a party he organized. Let's say the 2 guys he invited was I and another random guy; let's just call the other random guy "Wilson"... Wilson is a typical nice guy who's really struggling with girls.
The moment we enter the party, we saw CaveAdullam distance away chilling on a large sofa with about five excited beautiful ladies. From afar, CaveAdullam gave us a sign with his eyes that we should pick our choice from the ladies... One the girls was CaveAdullam babe, so we had to pick from the remaining four girls.

Me and Wilson confidently walk up to the ladies of our choice and sat with them on the large sofa.

Throughout the night, I and the girl I chose was vibing and having fun. But the conversation and vibe between Wilson and girl he chose wasn't cool at all... but they manage to flow with the party vibe.

2 weeks after the party, me and the girl I chose starting dating and doing lots of bedmatics. One month has passed but nothing was working out with Wilson and the girl he chose. The girl was basically playing him and frustrating him. This was giving him headache. Wilson did lots of nice things for her hoping she'd change her behavior towards him but nothing seem to be working... She didn't give a shit....

If you an outside observer you might assume that the reason I succeeded with girl I chose was because I am "good with girls"...

You missed something important.

Let's rewind back to the party so you can see what actually happened. From the distance, CaveAdullam gave us sign with his eyes that we should pick our choice from the ladies...
As Wilson walked towards the Sofa, he pick the girl he thinks he likes and was basically salivating for her.

But he made a mistake from the starting. I'll tell you the mistake in a few seconds...
But I didnt do like Wilson.

As I walked towards the Sofa, I sharply scan the girls and maintain quick eye contact with them to find out something... I noticed that one of the girls stylishly looked at me quickly from head to toe then turns her head away shyly. That was the girl I chose and sat with

At the party, it looked like we chose the girls, but in reality, the girls chose us.

Wilson made the mistake of liking and tripping for the girl first and then trying his best to make the girl also like him. Wrong move. That is, he picked the wrong the girl, then start doing lots of nice things for her, hoping she changed her behavior and start behaving right towards him.

But I succeeded with the girl I chose because I didn't start tripping for any girl at first, I kept my tripping to myself. I'm the prize to be won. Instead I looked out to see which girl (or girls) is liking me...once I spotted her, all that's left is that I should be bold AF and not act like a simp so I'll won't spoil the vibe between me and her.

Alot of girls already like you as guy but you ruin their likeness for you by acting weak around them.

Through my relationship with this girl I chose, I do nice things for her from time to time if I feel like.. but at every given opportunity I always demonstrate to her that I'm ready to walk away and dump her silly ass if she doesn't treat me right. She respects me for that. And she appreciates and reciprocate my nice act because she knows I'm not using my nice act as a means to get into her pants.

But the girl Wilson chose doesn't appreciate and values his nice act because she knows he only using it as a means to win browny points so she can give him sex. Worse, she now feels entitled to his nice act.

Remember, doing nice for a girl doesn't automatically makes you a simp, but doing nice things for her and trying to use that nice act to win her heart is what makes you a simp.

airsaylongcome:
Lol! I'm not an English Professor o! I just can't tolerate a lot of the grammatical errors I come across.

Regarding "breaking through in the future", all I can say is for you to have your portfolio out there. All those html learning you have been doing? Put it up on a github repository. Have it well organised. That way you get accustomed early to github and how it works, and are able to have a public portfolio that will show your evolution fr novice to expert. Regarding certification, It's hard to advise. Many recruiters are not interested in whatever paper certification you hold. They are more interested in the skill you have and can use.

My best advice is to keep track of job openings in your field (which looks like Frontend to me). See what skills they are all looking for. Improve your abilities in those skills. And showcase all of that on your github

airsaylongcome:
Ask me here...I can answer yours or any other persons questions here to the best of my ability. Note however that I'm in my 30s with experience in IT. So my route may not be the best route to follow for not-so-experienced folks

DonroxyII:
How would you know when you been living in hell .. if not for internet, You for dey for your village and think there is no Caucasian

pansophist:
I no mad like that o. People wey know me personally go tell you say I be the realest, purposeful, genuine, and principled guy you'll ever meet. I don't live life recklessly, and have developed a code of conduct I relate the world with, making it impossible for me to be anyone's peasants.

People that will calls me a mad person are probably those than want to take advantage of me, but can't, and that pains them alot. Manipulative people usually have the mindset that no one is immune to all their tricks, or for woman that thinks having a vagina suddenly makes all men under their control.

Iyaebe that calls me difficult na woman wey don try fruitlessly to break into my defense via her baseless arguments which I debunk with facts, and instead of accept that her opinion was wrong, she double down and call you difficult. If they can't beat you, then they yab you

A friend to all, is a friend to none. If everyone sees me as nice, then I'm doing something wrong. I have no problem been hated, what I'll never accept is to be anyone's b!tch. What I write here is for a tiny minority, I do not want to cater to the majority, leave that to porn stars.

Like Arthur Schopenhauer once said, "he who writes for fools is always sure of a larger audience".

Personally, I've Iost faith in the reasoning skills and personal development of Nigerians generally speaking, so it's expected that nairaland will be filled with people that navigate the world from an emotional perspective, instead of one with reasoning.

When a country is not developed (like Nigeria), it is not reflected only via its economy, but via the minds and reasoning of its citizens. Its citizens that develops a country, not the other way round.

Cc. Caveadullam

CaveAdullam:
1. Women and babies have two things in common: calmness and beauty. The difference is that women are more matured and subtler in action and physique. And herein many men has fell. They already see women as little baby angels that are not capable of causing serious harm..."at least, they are fragile and even if they cause harm, it won't be so devastating," so said the man blinded by romance.

2. Men fight with physical weapons, hence, men fight men and are oblivious to the psychological warfare of women. Men fight men (for status, women, territories and resources). Women fight men(for resources). And women fight women(for resources and quality men). Men don't fight women, for reasons as stated earlier in paragraph 1.

3. Because of this gentility towards women, during heartbreak, men suffer same pain as in a physical battle but this time an emotional one. Their world comes crumbling because they never expected their girlfriends, wives, fiancee to be able to pull such catastrophic emotional string. They are perplexed, in fear, anxious and fall into depression. Just like a PONZI SCHEME, all their investments vanish into oblivion - the trust they were meant to bank on was fake! The hope of a promising future and a good return was a subtle leverage to siphon them.

4. Heartbreak for men differs with women because in every relationship, men invest more. Women still feels the pain of heartbreak, however, even before that, they have plan B + other men are ready to accommodate them.

See the trick here: once a woman has enunciated to a man that she doesn't want any relationship because of a former heartbreak, the new man in question will double down on his arsenal and try every possible means to prove to her that he is not like other men + it is stupid for her former man to treat such an angel like her in a bad light. Here again, man is gentler towards woman.

5. I always love to categorize the average human + women together because they are the same 99% of the time.

Humans are bound to break their promises. We always like to skip the process + seek for different many escape routes. Only few are true allies, and that's why I'm a big fan of family - genetic relationship + friends who has proven themselves overtime.

6. Strong character + integrity + competence + discipline is what we all glamour for but are very guilty of their opposites. In short, humans are the wildest hypocrites you can ever imagine. The difference between the 99% and the 1% is that the later are aware of their limitations and try their best possible to improve. While the former just follow the trend and meander their way where necessary.

7. If a man can have this awareness that humans, including their allies sometimes are bound to break their promises, he must quickly start to develop a tough skin + an armoury that will defend him when the trumpet of war sound. He must lay down plans as if previous plan will fail - this is a strategy women use in romantic relationship. They have one man, but still look out for other men.

8. The man must build options as options is the master key to confidence + won't remain depressed for long even after a serious disappointment or heartbreak.

But the problem of the modern man is that he is more "oxytocinized" as the average woman. Pathetic.

Thanks.

machote:
Women will always see kindness in men as a weakness and will eventually capitalize on it.
This is something I noticed so many years ago but I couldn't wrap my head around.

It's similar to shit testing, but the other way around in that the woman does nothing but you're the one constantly failing yourself by always saying yes to her and doing her favours.

Women are not stupid, and most are entitled and feel the world revolves them, and when you become a "helping hand" to them always, they wouldn't think twice before taking advantage.

As for me, Keanu Reeves sums it all:

pansophist:
If he has came accross heros like caveadullam and martinez39s, this nonsense would not have happened. The surest way to fail in life is to expect integrity from cheap people. Integrity is the most expensive, scarce, unique quality you can get from a person.

Also, integrity and by extension, faithfulness is not something you get easily from young people, it comes with age as one develops themselves and transition into adulthood dealing with real life challenges. I guess she is in her 20's, and at her prime, the worse recipe for integrity for a woman.

I'm not sure if he did something to kill himself, but if he did, then he has let evil won. You don't kill yourself for a useless cause, such as for a cheater. Then they've won. You simply ignore them, and thrive despite that. Cut them off completely and stand tall.