₦airaland Forum

wetdick: for example in brain size, there are lot of researches that shows that men have a more larger brain than women

maybe we are equal in job opportunities but there are still many differences between us, again physical strength, men are more stronger than women.in my opinion equality is just an idealogy it is not workable in real life

First of all, research did not say all women have smaller brains. That's absolute bullshit. What research showed is that men on average have bigger bodies or bigger physiques than women and that translates to having bigger heads and bigger brains. There are women who have bigger bodies and bigger heads than men and so those ones have bigger brains.
There are men with smaller bodies and smaller heads and smaller brains.

What the research showed is averages in brain size relative to body size. By the way a bigger brain doesn't mean more intelligence. It means your physique is bigger, your bones and organs are bigger etc.

jakandeola:
dont say DAT dear am black and proud anld oyibo are not inferior to me. I know dey are intelligent but we too Mandela Soyinka chimanda okonjo iwala fela acheba and others are better than oyibo by far.

So you saying women are inferior what about Okonjo iweala, Chimamanda, Oby Ezekwesili, Dora Akunyili of blessed memory, Theresa May, Marie Curie, Rosa parks, Queen Elizabeth, are they not women that are far better than many men?

Lol

I wonder which moniker OP truly is

gloria34:
Maybe u Dont know or u are just pretending but it is very common in Nigeria, example, ozoro in Delta state where women do jobs such as carrying of cement in construction sites while their husbands sits at home and expect food, Even most part of Warri. I find it Funny when guys act like they have never seen such

They know that many women are breadwinners, they know. They are aware.

They just love pretending and lying to themselves because they don't want to acknowledge that a lot of women are trying while their men are slacking.

funmisticqueen:
she should also close shop and get her room they are now roomates. Infact she should take the head of the household positiion

Abi o.
Lazy men everywhere.
Want to rule and boss everybody around but don't want the responsibilities that come with ruling

Ugosample:
where is it written that a woman MUST bear her husband's surname?

She is not under obligation to bear his name, good.

My point is that once a man starts claiming his wife should be independent and not expect her husband to provide for her, then he should not expect her to cook or do chores or clean up after him

MJBOLT:

So Cooking and cleaning is what makes you useful to man?WTF,i never said men should not make money stop twisting my words,a woman should not depend on a man financially.if as a woman you are not disabled and you depend on a man financially,your education is a waste

If you men don't want to provide for women anymore then you might as well cook your own food after marriage and clean up after yourself, your wife is also under no obligation to clean up the house or wash your clothes or even bear your name since you have absolved yourself of all responsibility involving providing for her.

Reading topics like this gives me headache because you start seeing how many Nigerian men are mentally unstable control freak sociopaths.

Just imagine one fool on this thread saying women should give up control over their lives because they are married.

The men making excuses for this man are fvcking disgusting pigs.

How can you look at the babies in that picture and still look for how to justify this evil man's actions? You people are sick.

Even if the wife is making him unhappy which you people are touting as the reason for his wickedness, then what about his innocent children? Did they also offend the evil man and drive him into the arms of another woman?
The minute you have children you cease to live for yourself, you have brought a life or lives into this world and it is your duty to make sure they are comfortable and well taken care of until they're independent.


But majority of men are so selfish and self centered, they live only for themselves and can never sacrifice for others.

The money that beast used to buy a car for his prostitute could have bettered those babies lot in life one way or another

Raalsalghul:
Well, some of what you said might be true or they might just be assumptions. But I find it unbelievable you've decide to be blind to the woman's wrongdoings.

I wasn't blind to anything.
I don't blame the wife for displaying hostility to a man that always has small girls hovering around him to the extent that she has to fight them off.

If the tables were turned and the wife was the one with small boys flocking around her will you advise the husband to keep quiet and ignore his wife because she opened a shop for him?

Ziggylady:
There is no tagging anywhere,the males here are too anti-female its scary and yes i hate them..I hate wickedness to the core and that is a disease affecting 99% of nairaland males...

Males like you who enjoy castigating women needlessly without reason are the ones who dont do well in life.,especially when they find themselves abroad..That is why many of you get into trouble with the law when you leave this ountry...I am only doing you a favour by pointing out how irrational most of you are.

You are very right to hate them, carry on.

I don't know what kind of confusion Nigerian men suffer from. Do they expect women to say they love them with all the hate and needless insults they hurl towards women everyday online?
The average Nigerian man does not mean well for women AT ALL.

They don't like for a woman to be rich and independent and happy, they prefer to see women grovelling and begging them for handouts and without a voice of her own, deffering to her husband for every single decision affecting her life like a mentally impaired slave.
Always looking for ways to insult women and run them down.
If a woman is independent with healthy self esteem they start claiming she is arrogant and bad wife material, they prefer a whimpering dependant.

If they see a whimpering dependent woman that wants to depend on them they start calling all women lazy gold diggers..

Confused hypocrites.

Raalsalghul:
I've been going through the thread looking for them feminists comments
Those folks crack me up. Still waiting for that of Saffi's, Choccolate's, MannieA's and Cococandy"s.

First of all I don't believe the man is telling the full story, he just told his own side to make himself look like a saint but where he exposed himself was adding the part about his wife beating up small girls around him. You can tell that the bastard is a womaniser who expected his wife to not display any anger or resentment to his promiscuity.

The hopeless bastard didn't tell us the misunderstanding that made his wife go out and lodge in a hotel room. Maybe he brought one of the small girls his wife fights to his house and she had to vacate the house for them. Maybe the wife caught him pants down with his hoes that's why she got upset and decided to lodge in a hotel and clear her head, we don't know. All we know is the man's biased side of the story.

Useless bastard beast of a man just ruined all the wife's hard work she put in the business because he wanted to carry his small girls without opposition from the wife. Animal.

[quote author=ecstasy357 post=74422850]

Financial Assistance...
That's ya answer....keyword "ASSISTANCE"

Lol, so when a man does it what's it called? My good man, its called assistance whether its done by a man or a woman. No woman depends 100% on a man for finance except in very rare cases and even at that there are men who also depend on women. If you contribute financially to the upkeep of your family you are rendering financial assistance, whether as man or woman.

I did mention that men r looking for a woman they can INVEST in while women r looking for financially stable men.
You confirmed this by saying that women contribute via trade and any other means

Which man is looking for a woman to invest in? Wow, Nigerian men these days are busy looking for financially stable women to join the in breadwinning, the job of breadwinning is no longer solely on the man like before. Its a joint thing.
Majority of men are not ready to invest in women please let's not lie to ourselves, they want a woman that will bring something impactful to the table. Even on Nairaland don't you see the mindset of the average man, the way they curse and degrade any woman who wants a financially stable man while not being financially stable herself. Please Nigerian men are not looking for who to invest in. They consider women who can't join them in providing for the family as gold diggers and leeches. In some cases like I said before some women's salaries even hold the family up because they earn higher than the man but they don't boast about it in public so as to protect his image and ego.

NAME BEARING
I believe ya a Christian, correct me if I'm wrong. Matthew 1 talked bout the lineage of Christ. How many women were mentioned?
If u don't wanna submit to ya husband, den don't submit. Be d head of d house and ask him to submit to u.

Oga I don't know the importance of this part, you asked me what women contribute and I told you, they bear kids that prolong your lineage. Pass through all the sickness and difficulties of pregnancies and childbirth and child rearing for a child that she cannot even claim to her own lineage.

LOSE OF BEAUTY
Beauty is vain but a woman who fears d Lord shall be praised. If d man ya with is only with u cause u av a pretty body n face. That man will cheat on u.
Secondly, no need to cry bout ya beauty. Everybody gets old. I know a single lady thats 70yrs+; she ain't beautiful, she's OLD.

CHILDREN
Have u ever heard any where in Nigeria were a woman pays a man's groom price?
From the eastern part of Nigeria, if d bride price of d woman isn't paid, den d children belongs to d woman's family.

Your fellow men started the culture of bride price paying because they wanted to trade women like commodities, you can't blame women for that. And that case in the east about name bearing is an isolated one. In 99% of cases, the child bears the fathers name. Moreover paying of bride price these days is slowly becoming outdated, many families let the prospective husband go without paying or they demand only a minute amount from him, in my place that amount is about 30 naira.

WOMEN ARE DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE
When a woman gets to 30/35yrs, she starts going to Shiloh. Men r not known for that.
When a woman clocks 30, d society calls her name. The society is made up of men n women. Men don't call names, women do.

I won't even argue that women are desperate for marriage. They are.
And that is because of the stigma associated with being a single female at old age. People start assuming the single woman is wayward or has bad character or was unserious and played away her youth. I hang out with women and we discuss these things. I can tell you for a fact that women are not as eager to get married as you men would like to believe. What do they have to gain from marriage? What exactly? The average guy expects his wife to be a co-breadwinner, sees it as a must, as something obligatory for her to do while he himself does not consider it a must to cook for her or clean up as much as she does or even put equal effort like her in raising their children.
And yes, men are the ones mocking old spinsters.
I know that men hate it when they see a woman who isn't dying to rush into marriage and they hate it when women express anti marriage sentiments because you guys just love to tell yourselves that women are DYING to be married and cannot exist without men in their lives.
Wrong.
Many women these days complain bitterly about marriages.
Men are the ones trying to mock old spinsters into marriage by calling them foul names like old cargo or evening newspaper

God didn't create Adam because Eve needed a partner.
God created Eve because Adam could not continue living alone and he needed a woman.

Men need women. Not the other way round.

ecstasy357:
Based on that source I shared, MARRIED MEN DON'T GET TO OLD AGE UNLIKE MARRIED WOMEN.

Talking bout benefit... This is naija, 90% of all women see marriage as a poverty alleviation program. I know u will disagree with this but u won't disagree with the fact that you would want to marry someone that is financially stable (poverty alleviation program in disguise). Men will not necessarily look for that in a woman but rather a woman that he can invest in.

Curious question... What does a woman bring into marriage?

Dearie, the world has been rigged to favour women

What does a woman bring into marriage?
Are you serious?


FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE for one
In this day and age there is hardly any married woman that sits her behind home and waits completely for her husband to bring everything money to the home. No woman will refuse to work knowing that she can get a job and make life better for her children

Even if its petty trading or hair making married women have something going on to contribute to the house, its only in rare cases that you see them not working or searching for jobs cases like when the husband is filthy rich .The economy is too hard for so many people for wives to just sit around doing nothing.
If you go into Nigerian markets over 70% of the shops there are run by women so I don't know why men still think they are solely responsible for the upkeep of the family.

Besides that when a married woman gives birth to children whose name does the child bear? Whose lineage does the child carry on? Is it her lineage or her husbands lineage?

Despite losing her beauty and youth to pregnancy and risking her life during childbirth the children end up belonging to the man and his family.

ecstasy357:
Because men don't talk, we all think of dem as monsters.
Waking up at night...men do it too
House chores... Men do it too

Now lemme bring something to d light... The rate at which married men die is higher than single men. They mostly die as a result of depression, heart attack and stroke. These illnesses are more psychological than physical (I stand to b corrected).
Women on the other than...at different age group live longer when they are married. That is...death rate for married between the ages of 20-29 is lower than the death rate of single women in that same age group.

Dearie, ask yourself this, who wants marriage more, men or women?

The influence of marriage on the death rate of men and women.
Source: https://www.jstor.org/stable/2965087?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents

@bold, men benefit more from marriage not women. The only reason many women get married is to avoid social stigma of being single in old age or to bear kids, they don't necessarily need marriage where they will be forced to defer authority to another person and obey and follow his commands all the days of their life.

Also men die earlier because many of them fail to develop strong loving bonds with their kids and in their old age they start suffering depression and loneliness and misery and die earlier of heart conditions and other diseases.

ecstasy357:
I did pointed out that it's difficult for men to love and for women to submit.

You said "They demand submission..." don't u think It is difficult to love a woman that wouldn't submit, a woman that wouldn't listen, a woman that believes she's always right, a woman that raises her voice, a woman that wouldn't and can't do what was described in Proverbs 31.

Dearie, it is easy to blame men in marriages cause men r not known to complain or show emotion whether its hurt or love.

It seems that Women r always at d receiving end cause dey r loudest when its time to complain or cry; dey dish out what dey can't handle (d Bible calls dem weaker vessel)

Let's not forget that the Bible said, it is easier to live in d desert than with a troublesome wife more than once.

Again I say...before u teach men how to love, learn how to submit. It takes a man n a woman for a marriage to work.

Thank be honest I dont think the challenges men face in marriages are more than the ones women face. Women are expected to join theor husbands in breadwinning, they are expected to also come home and do house chores after work while nobody places any such obligation on the man. This has made many men lazy and inconsiderate to their wives, they don't assist her at home all they do is demand obedience. Some pregnant women don't even get help from their husbands, even the ones nursing babies and losing sleep every night will still have to wake up and go out to hustle like their husbands.
And women are supposed to put up with men's bad behaviours like cheating and infidelity. If he cheats she is told to pray for him and dress sexy and get in shape. Nobody makes such ridiculous demands from men.

Women are the ones that put up with more crap in marriage so of course they complain more. A man can easily replace his wife for another for flimsy reasons if she annoys him and nobody queries him but a woman that abandons her bad husband is called all sorts of insultive names whether she is justified in leaving or not.

oweniwe:
Many women have been scammed by selfish women as well, they have had their youth wasted by players who promises them marriage then ran off after years of dating, they have been deceived by male criminals who either stole their money or cheated them in a business deal.

why do you make it seem as if women are all saints or there always the victims?

have you not seen where women scam men? the fact that women don't boast or make noise about their exploits doesn't mean they don engage in such stuffs too.

what is the difference between a guy promising a lady marriage and after 4 years dump her ... and a lady who was sent and trained by her fiance for 4 years in the university, and when she's graduated, she dumps the man to go marry another person?

i have given girl friend money to go market and buy cooking stuffs to cook... my money enter voicemail.... and she doesn't want to talk about it.

whether man or woman, anybody can scam ... it's not about gender .... stop making it look like women are always innocent and the always the victims ... Didn't Delilah use and dump Samson?

You're painting men black while turning blind eye to the fact that women equally do worse things too

Oga no.

The reason I made that post was not to paint women as victims
The person I quoted said that men become hardened towards women after they suffer exploitation in the hands of gold diggers and heartless girls and such men find it difficult to show their wives love after marriage.
I was only trying to let him know that both genders suffer exploitation in the hands of each other, men are treated badly by women and women are treated badly by men but it should never justify treating every member of the gender that offended you badly, like if a man was taken advantage of by a gold digger or materialistic woman it shouldn't make him harden his heart to every single woman even his wife who is innocent. People get hurt and taken advantage of every time, we don't have to transfer our anger in innocent members of the opposite sex that hurt us.

oweniwe:
Strongly Agree

Such men are horrible fathers

Wow, OK
Thanks for the unbiased opinion

HungerMustGo:
First of all, very few women breadwinners in African. Maybe less than 10%. And the woman usually has control of the house in these circumstances.

Next unchallenged authority is not ideal and I agreed but in the African scenario where people work like slaves and are paid peanuts with the weight and pressure of their immediate and extended family to cater for, most times they are only left with the easy way out to deal with things at home front which is unchallenged authority.

I don't know where you got your 10% breadwinner statistics. Many women contribute either equally or even more than their husband financially to the upkeep of the home they don't announce it because if they go about telling others they will be labelled bad wives of be accused of emasculating him or treating him badly because he is poor. Other women hide the fact that they are breadwinners out of shame. So should these women have unchallenged authority over their husband's because of the stress they face or the work they do?
Unchallenged authority is slavery, it shouldn't be part of any healthy marriage.

What about homes where the husband and wife go out to work in the mornings and come back from work together in the evenings only for the woman to get home and start coking and trying to keep the house clean and running after kids while the man just balance in front of TV because he doesn't think its his responsibility to do housework? A lot of men don't even face the kind of stress you mentioned, women are the ones facing stress because society expects them yo carry both housework and providing financially on their heads. Society doesn't expect men to do housework, if they do it they start assuming they are doing their wives a favour, but women have no choice but to work and provide because Nigeria is getting more difficult for masses everyday.

There can't be unchallenged authority, men should appreciate the efforts their wives put in running the family and not start looking for unchallenged authority. If your wife contributes money to the upkeep of your family then you no longer have unchallenged authority over her.

HungerMustGo:
Sure you haven't seen countless homes where the women are running things and the man is just an obedient pet that doesn't challenge the woman. You know the painful part? The woman is running things with the man's money, resources and connections.

A Man could want to run the house unchallenged in Africa because he's working his ass off to cater for entire family expenses and needs in many cases but what do you say of the many women that run things unchallenged with their husband's name and resources when they do little or nothing to contribute to the family finances and goodwill.

I have also seen homes where the woman is the one running the home with her cash and effort maybe because the man is going through hard times or because he is lazy, can the woman demand unchallenged authority in such a home?

Unchallenged authority should never be a part of a healthy marriage. You can have authority but also give consideration to your spouses needs.

oweniwe:
Fvckboys and olosho no dey get married?

OK let me bring your first post back;

oweniwe:
When women see themselves in terms of monetary value, that's what they get.

A lady posted this on Facebook ... "All the men asking for my phone number... Will you die if you ask for my bank account number?

If women present themselves as something that can be bought with money.. they shouldn't complain when they're tossed aside like a bottle of empty beer after being drunk.

So if you want to say a girl constantly demanding money makes it justified for a guy to not show her proper love after marriage then do you also agree that a lazy man or unambitious man does not deserve respect from his wife?

ecstasy357:
I am gonno answer your questions section by section.

The Bible asked men to love their wives because it is very difficult for men to just love wholeheartedly... Women do this with much ease.
Men are more logical than emotional. Most women believe that the best way to show affection or appreciation is with their body hence the line, " use ya bottom power." This idea makes d avg man to see them as nothing but tools for sexual satisfaction.

WORTHY OF MUTUAL HONOUR AND RESPECT
The avg musical video out there depicts a woman as nothing but a sexual figure.

The brainwashing came from the women.... "That guy na mugu, I go chop e money and e go get nothing." Once a mistake, twice a coincidence and when its 3x, its a pattern. Now thats it is a pattern, men av shut the gates to their heart completely.

Now u mentioned control. To love is difficult for men and to submit is difficult for women. That's why the Bible was specific in dishing out roles.

Finally, A woman that's submissive will break the barriers in a man's heart.
I must admit that some men r just as guilty. But I must emphasize this, "Women should learn to b submissive and men please love your wife."

@bold part of your post, many people face emotional trauma, both males and females. The fact that a man has been treated badly by some selfish girls does not justify his closing his heart to love and failing to show proper love to his wife.

Many women have been scammed by selfish women as well, they have had their youth wasted by players who promises them marriage then ran off after years of dating, they have been deceived by male criminals who either stole their money or cheated them in a business deal. Am sure you will agree with me that it won't be fair for women who have suffered in men's hands to decide to shut their hear s and tray men like shit that don't deserve respect
Bad people abound everywhere and will always do stupid things to others, you don't have to maltreat innocent people who haven't hurt you because of the bad experiences you had.

Also, this part of your post
"Most women believe that the best way to show affection or appreciation is with their body hence the line, " use ya bottom power." This idea makes d avg man to see them as nothing but tools for sexual satisfaction.", Like I said earlier, don't treat good people badly cos of the actions of bad people. There are still many decent women who show love by encouraging their men and giving advice and pampering them like their babies, not all women use sex or been ttom power. Until you are sure a woman is one those people that believe in using bottom power then don't generalize and treat her as a ere sex object.


Anyways the point of the thread is to let men know what love in marriage encompasses because many men these days have no idea what it is. They demand submission and total control while treating their wives like lesser humans or subhumans

Its unfortunate

HungerMustGo:
Many African Women will correctly define what love truely is when it involves how they're being treated.

But when it involves their bad behaviors and as well how they treat others like their mother inlaw, househelp, people they hate, they transform the meaning of love to the word, "it doesn't matter".

You reap what you sow is still a natural law.

Let's not act like men don't also change their definition of love to suit themselves.
The average man will never agree that true love means treating your wife with decency and respect and doing things to make her happy
They just want an obedient pet that doesn't challenge them.

oweniwe:
CHoccolaTE

When women see themselves in terms of monetary value, that's what they get.

A lady posted this on Facebook ... "All the men asking for my phone number... Will you die if you ask for my bank account number?

If women present themselves as something that can be bought with money.. they shouldn't complain when they're tossed aside like a bottle of empty beer after being drunk.

Am talking of husband and wife relationship not fvckboy and olosho relationship

When the Bible says you should love your wife what does that 'love' mean?


Truth is love is in the golden rule. There is a reason why the golden rule is gender neutral. The golden rule says:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Men always skip over that very simple idea when it comes to women and provide themselves with all kinds of excuses to focus on differences instead of finding common ground with females. The reason why men find it so hard to find common ground with women is because they don't truly affirm a woman's value as human beings who are worthy of mutual respect and honor.

A lot of men are unaware of how they have been brainwashed into thinking women are anything but human beings. They describe women as inferior, children, use language that is insulting, try to tear them down, wish to harm them...all sorts

None of this is out of love.

They try to tell another human being what THEY think is best for them even as they have no idea what being a woman means and they don't care. Because they themselves feel powerless, they have a desperate need to assert control over a female to validate their own need for power.

Love is the selfless investment in someone's growth and happiness. It's a verb because it's active and dynamic. Love isn't some magical romantic state you get to or fall into. It's pure active choice, every second of every day when you place someone else not above yourself (because you love yourself as well) but on the same plane as yourself and your importance. Place them below and you don't respect them. Place them above and they don't respect you.

But when you love yourself and love someone else, you treat them LIKE yourself in ways you desire to be treated. They aren't children. They aren't "needy". Their emotions are just as valid as your own. This is why men lie to themselves when they claim that they can cheat on their wives and still love them.

Understanding love as action doesn't allow for this. As soon as you enter into the act of lying or betraying someone you do not LOVE that person. Because if you loved yourself you would not wish to be treated that way.

tugrow:
yes to reopen 7th of next month

No problem, I will wait.

tugrow:
check my point, never say it not your best, that your opinion,

which one is first week of November, oya drop your Email and name here, let me check because goods of this week has been delivered since

I want to import some goods but Alfred told me you have closed for the year, is that true? Have you closed?

I have not had any problems with tugrow or his customer care, they are always polite to me and respond to questions
Please let's not spoil the hard work and hustle of other people. Logistics companies always have delays due to one problem or the other even the popular ones.

Goldiano:
shut up.... You like sex and are very money centric... And deaf to warnings that is very common sense

You too shut up, you like being foolish and draw foolish conclusions, and you are too blind to read and understand simple posts.