₦airaland Forum

Why does she look like Bobrisky?

YourCoffin:
Well the woman should get her father to impregnant her then...

Hehehe, some cultures do it. Dad doesn't have to be the father.

sapientia:
Which anger?

Didn't know contrary view are not tolerated because they must be out of anger.

I knew you must be a teenager.

There is more to marriage aside providing and submission.

Well... You will get to understand that sometime in your life.

Go on.. Enjoy your thread..

Bye

YourCoffin:
Nice thread for those who want to get married. Na babymama and babypapa things sure pass...

Sure. I support.

As long a women have children that bear their own surnames and live with the mothers family. That is very ideal.

Like in Akan cultures where the child bears the surname of the mother. Better for the child to answer the name of the man who raised the woman to be a well rounded and respectable adult than bearing the name of someone than wants his mother to be provider and be obedient slave at the same time.

Chubhie:
Very balanced piece. I love the revolutionary tone. Bravo. However, the beauty of this piece would get lost with the comments. That's the quality of Nairaland and the humans of Nigeria.

Thanks, I support revolution that makes life fair and just to all involved, male and female.

I just hate injustice and oppression.

Richy4:
Wow!!! This looks like a holiday bashing on Most male folks in Nigeria..The only thing I'm glad about was that you didn't say it was all male...

But If I may ask you... why do u see marriage as if it was an institution based on financial gain.. just asking because 96% of all u have written centered only on money... what the woman will gain from it.. such thinking is super narrow and it is not the major bases on why people found themselves in a relationship...

I also want to know Why u think it was difficult for a woman that earn more salary than the man( successful woman) to submit to the man..have you considered the fact that it could be her choice to do so? Is marriage really about whoever that is earning less must submit to the one earning more?

For the family to function correctly, someone either the man or the woman must be on top of financial affairs (usually the one that prudent in spending ) both might decide to plan their Finances together...It could be that the man might tells the wife where he thinks his earnings should go to... and ask if she can handle the other part... That's what working as a team is all about in a home. ... and in every team, there's always a captain...

In a relationship, u can't claim u loved someone.. as a woman.. and u are a working class lady... and u allowed the man to provide for u from food to shelter.. clothes.. to sanitary ware.. because u want him to fulfill what the good book says about him being the provider or else you won't submit totally... in some cases even if he abuses you, as long as he totally provides I will submit.. (that's what u implied that if he doesn't measure up financially no submission )

Please try and look at marriage in different angle sometimes.. like... I am in this because I want to be with u, or we are compatible, or we love each other and can't get our hands away from each other ... Not because this guy is rich.. he is the ideal guy for me to submit to...

Assuming your write up was centered on.. Why should a woman submit when the man doesn't love her as written in the good book.. I would have agreed totally with you.. because respect is reciprocal... but your write is based on money as if that was the only bases for a woman to submit..

I focused on the financial part of marriage because that is the area I wanted to discuss and because I am well aware of the mentality of many men towards women being co providers.

At the bolded part of your post,

Yes, marriage is team work. I agree.

Submission and team work are not even the same thing. Submission implies yielding to the will and authority of another person whether or not you have a different opinion. Team work involves taking final decisions after considering the opinions of every member of the team and coming to a suitable compromise that favours everyone.
Many men don't want team work. They want to be bosses that delicate roles and give orders and make final decisions in every aspect they feel like.

What is worse is that this attitude is more pronounced in men who have richer wives or wives that earn more than them. They become very sensitive to any thing she does and start seeing disrespectfulness in all her actions and want her to go out of her way to show she is still submissive.

That is unrealistic as far as I am concerned. Wives shouldn't disrespect their husbands if they earn more but husbands themselves should stop expecting wives to become extra submissive 100% obedient slave just because she wants to show that she is still respectful even while she takes care of the house and feeds the man.
Her opinions still matter to a large extent and the man will have to let her take final decisions in some affairs involving running of the house. Again this doesn't mean she should disrespect her husband. She can present her opinions in a loving and respectful manner.

You can't have a woman feeding you and paying part of your utility bills then you still insist that you and you alone must make final decisions on every issue concerning the house.

No.

sapientia:
OP.

Are you a teen or in your 30s?

Read few sentences and stopped.

If you can't submit to a man, don't marry.

Marriage is not a must.

You can't leave your father's name and answer another man's name then refuse to submit.

To submit to a man is not slavery.

If some men misinterpreted it, their bad.

Oga abeg don't vent your anger at me and yes you are angry, this post shows it. My topic isn't about me so I don't need your unnecessary advice about staying in my father's house.

Why are many men so focused on demanding submission from women but will not focus on the part of the scriptures that say husbands who cannot provide for their families are infidels?

bukatyne:
Like I would always say, women should choose their men well.

If they do not take any other choice serious, the choice of a husband should be done with atmost seriousness.

Very successful women even foreign like author of 'Lean In' has admonished that the choice of a husband is the most important choice a woman would make.

Secondly, women should stop training sons they cannot marry. They complain about their husbands and train their sons to be exact same thing. If this is not evil, I don't know what else is.

Thirdly, they should discover who they are in their late teens/ early 20s. If they are already in their path, many unserious men and destiny killers will not come near them. I know a number of men who told me they couldn't marry a woman like me because I was too serious and ambitious. At this time, I was dating my husband already so they were not trying to spite me, they were just stating facts.

Fourth, women should have respect for themselves. If you have no respect for yourself, I do not see why or how anyone else should have respect for you.

And lastly, women should quit the victimhood. A lot of them love monster like husbands so they have something to complain about. Observe closely and see that women would champion the side talks when a man actually treats his woman well. Who do you think would complain more and tell us how virtuous they are if a man says he cooks at hone regularly/ does chores? Who do you think would mock a man more if he says he has to consult his wife on all decisions? Who do you think would make life miserable for the wife if they find out that their brother really loves his wife and treats her like a princess? And who would sometimes disrespect their husbands if they decided to treat their wives as humans?

Some women can only respect their husbands who treat them disrespectfully. He has proven to be a 'man'.

I decided to reply this post first because the bolded part caught my attention.
The choice of a husband should be something every young girl takes time to very carefully evaluate and meditate over and over on before it is made. This is not emphasized enough to young girls of dating age that is why there are many married women crying and complaining everyday of suffering under the oppression of their monster husbands. I am a member of many female oriented groups on Facebook and no day passes by without women coming out to narrate some kind of horrifying ordeal she passes through at home but comes outside to put on a happy face.
In western countries women are protected against oppression by laws but hardly so in many African countries such as in Nigeria where a man who didn't do court marriage can decide to throw his wifes things outside in the middle of the night or can decide to abandon her to fend for the children while he chases skirt outside.

African women have no business bring careless with their choice of a spouse. That is what will decide their happiness or misery for the next ten or twenty years.
And I am very strongly of the opinion that no woman should be completely jobless and dependent on her husband. She is just setting herself up for abuse and disrespect from her husband because regardless of what scriptures say, a large percentage of men do not believe that wives should have their needs met by their husbands.
And the failing economy is also something to take into consideration. Women need a good source of income in order to have economic power and leverage and to avoid any kind of tyranny and abuse from husbands that will start regarding them as worthless because they are not co breadwinners.

Its just such a pity that Nairaland has been overrun by jambites seeking admission into the university.

Mtsheew.

Posting immature comments everywhere because they have nothing better to do.

Many men waste no time in remarrying as well if their wives die before them but they want their wives to mourn them forever if they die.

So many Nigerian men have these disgusting double standard for marriage.
They are just really naturally selfish and self centered its so disgusting.
They want to cheat on their wives because they are supposedly "naturally polygamous" but will want a 100% faithful wife as if adultery was not forbidden for BOTH men and women. So which religious books are they following when they justify adultery with their naturally polygamous excuse?

They will be busy looking for financially independent wife that is providing for themselves and also contributing to house upkeep from her salary but they will also demand 100% submission from her. What kind of narcissistic and inconsiderate expectation is that please?

Excuse me but I don't even care if you think its because of arrogance or pride but a woman who is financially independent cannot be 100% submissive. What will she be gaining from the marriage then if she brings money to take care of your needs in the house but you still boss her around like an employee. Even men at their place of work can never be wiling to obey their boss if he isn't paying them their salary or if they are using their own cash to run the boss's company.

I am not even encouraging the wife to disrespect their husbands because they are financially independent, no. But I don't see why men will find it disrespectful if a woman who brings her hard earned money to pay rent or school fees or even food items wants to be part of the decision making process in her house. They want a docile sheep they can profit financially from and still control like a slave from at the same time.
Scammers.

The status quo about wives always submitting to authority of husband changed the moment you men decided that women should be financially independent and join their husbands in providing for their families.

The origin of the whole wives submission and husbands providing thing is from the Abrahamic religious books (Quran and Bible) which decreed that women submit to husbands while men go out and fend for the family. Islam makes it clear that wives are under no obligation to provide for the family and Christianity explicitly stated that men who cannot provide for their families are infidels.

Nowhere was it stated that it is the duty of the wife to join her husband is providing but you men want to guilt trip women into believing that they are failures if they don't join you in providing for the family. But you will never accept that you are also under obligation to cook or clean or take care of children just like the woman. The best you can get from men when it comes to house chores is a little assistance while the man will not fail to keep reminding his wife that he is just assisting her and house work is not for the husband.

Such irritating selfishness. Tufia

And lastly, that bullshit excuse of women becoming arrogant after they start earning more than their husbands or when the man is jobless is just complete crap because men do WORSE to women if the woman is completely dependent on them. Its in the nature of humans, males and females, to have more pride and ego when they are doing well in life or when they have a lot of money. Husbands who earn far more than their wives also exhibit tyrant and oppressive behaviours to their wives. Majority of them will always insult or degrade their wives and insult them because she depends on them. Some will even shamelessly keep girlfriends openly and flaunt it in front of their wives because they think she cannot go anywhere since she has no money. If she complains to outsiders, nobody chides the man or cautions him. They will tell the wife to get a job and start contributing to the family so that the man can respect her.
But when a man is dependent on the wife everyone wants the woman to increase her submission to him to hundredfold and not show any sign of arrogance and to patiently help him build himself up and pray for him.

Nonsense.

I don't believe for one second that the Ops hands are clean. I think he did or said something to provoke that statement from his wife. Its only a mentally unstable person that will just get up after years of supporting and helping you to turn around and stop showing support when you haven't done anything to offend them.

That's how these men come to Nairaland to paint their wives bad and make themselves look like angels.
That's how one of them came to spoil his wife's name after she built a house in her name and refused to sign the ownership of the house to him. If not that the wife logged into Nairaland to tell her own side of the story we would have never known what happened.

Sorry about your accident oo Op but I will not castigate your wife until I hear her side of the story.

AkupeMBANO:
is that you (pervert) masturbating on your profile photo?

No
Its the ashawo that infected you with HIV.

oduademon:
This is why you will forever remain single. You are too uptight

And you will get married to someone that will frustrate you and make your life miserable.

Another lying and dishonest topic for sociopath men to gather and masturbate on top women matta.

Fools

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Her own is even better. I've experienced d public dick rubbing twice... Slapped d first one and let things slide with d miserable second he-goat.

Dont mind them. Men are he goats

Why are so many men useless animals?

Profkenny1:
MGTOW is NOT a movement! It is a way of life! It has no support from organizations. MGTOWs don't give a rat's ass about the society anymore, they are after themselves! It's all about self-preservation!

I don't care about your little NGO or boys club or whatever it is.

Profkenny1:
L
1. Isn't that what Nigerian feminists do? They emulate American misandrists, aka feminists, and demonize Nigerian men. The goal is to, by all means, subjugate men.

2. That whorish single mom has 4 baby daddies from whom she gets $20k in total. Single moms are the most disgusting humans on this planet. They keep raising bastards who commit crime.
In the US, children brought up in single mom homes are:
- 5 times more likely to commit suicide
- 14 times more likely to commit rape
- 20 times more likely to end up in prison
- 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
-32 times more likely to run away from home
- 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.

Nigerian women are not propagating gender equality because of westerners, women in Nigeria are actually oppressed and subjugated.

As for your stats you posted its very typical of you men to blame women for everything and play victims.
Men grow up useless and commit crimes but you don't blame the male criminals. You don't blame those who decided to be useless instead of being honest citizens. You blame women.

You don't blame their equally useless fathers that refused to raise their children but chose to be deadbeat fools.

You blame the women. Everything is women's fault.

highcollide:
Don't be an idiot. One of the fathers of the kids is in my mtgow group. Each of the kids have different father's. The total money she gets for all of them is 20k usd.

In nigeria, it's a different thing. You women use the line "my husbands money is our money, but my money is mine and mine alone" to suck a man dry.....
Irrespective of whatever society, women are parasites.

Don't be an imbecilic mor0n_

What on earth has child support issues in faraway America have to do with gender equality issues in Nigeria?

How the hell do you think it belongs on a Nigerian forum? You just emphasized my point about anti women boys living on the internet, look at him talking of Mgtow that is predominantly an American movement.

You men have some nerve to attack or insult women when you are the cause of 80% crimes and problems in this world.

highcollide:
This woman sits her ass down doing nothing but makes $20k every month from child support.



GeNdEr EqUaLiTy.

The problem with some of these boys that go on anti women campaign is that they live their lives on the internet and they grow their women hate from observing how American society is run.

Now look at this one talking about child support of 20k a month. Which court in Nigeria will ever award that amount of child support to a woman whose husband left her with the children?

SaucyBenks:
I've been cheated on numerous times, my kindness taken for granted n heart broken... Women are yet to hear the worst from me in particular.

And you think men don't cheat on women or what?

Foolish hypocrite men.

They cheat like bastards then have the audacity to say women shouldn't cheat.

I am not even taking sides on this story because as far as I am concerned the man could have also been keeping side chic who he absconded to abroad with or maybe he deserted the woman and was actually a wicked and evil man like his wife was telling people.

I won't even castigate the woman here.

highcollide:
Stop deceiving yourself. The rate of contacting HIV and other STDS as a woman is higher than that of a man. Men cheat but it barely distracts them from their responsibilities. It's not the same with you women. You cheat and get pregnant for another man or give out your husband's secrets and weaknesses.


There's a reason why the Bible labelled you women as "THEY THAT KILLETH KINGS".

And there is a reason more men are criminals and killers and rapists and kidnappers. because they are naturally wicked and self centered so they tell lies to make it look like infidelity by men is not as bad as by women.
I have read stories of men that killed their wives and abandoned their families because of side chick.
The ones that were spending money they could have used for their children on side chick house rent and schoolfees and clothes.
There was a story of a man on Nairaland who caused his own sons death. The side chick killed the boy cause the man was falsely promising her marriage and making her do abortions for him.

Serves him right.

Nigerian men are heartless animals. If the man had brought another woman's child into the house idiots on this forum will still praise him and tell the wife to suck it up and forgive him.

Me self I have also read countless scientific research that proves that men who cheat expose their wives to STDs and infect them with HIV too. They also fall in love with their girlfriends no matter how much they try to deny it.

Sex obsessed fools

Men are just selfish and sex obsessed that's why they keep vomitting this thrash about men can have sex without emotions so wives should tolerate their cheating.
In fact the more I read Nairaland men's comments the more I realise how very useless, senseless and extremely selfish Nigerian men are

So your wives should be 100% faithful while you cheat because you can have sex without emotions?

What about men that end up loving their girlfriend so much thy marry them and start rejecting/abandoning their first wives like the evil pieces of shiit many men are?

What about STDs? Or you think condoms protect against every single sexually transmitted disease? Newsflash, there are diseases you can get even after having sex with a condom. So after catching on of these diseases you want to go back home to infect an innocent woman who was busy staying faithful and respecting herself?

What about if your condom tears during sex and you get another woman pregnant? Or worse contact HIV from her? Should your wife also stay and start taking HIV drugs forever because you were a fool that had no control over his sex urges?

Fight corrupt politicians them no fit fight, only to come online and fight women and claim superiority when the rest of the world disrespects them for being dishonest scammers.

Nigerian men are a disgrace.

ekaette1621:
Women are idiots

Men are animals

GraGra247:
I'm not replying a Feminist because from the beginning I was fully aware that this is another blinded feminist propaganda to sway weak minds from reality.

You guys can cook up all the lies you can to garner support but the truth can never be hidden.

If you like no reply feminist
Many women are breadwinners in their families whether you admit to it or not.

Gaggi:
If she allows him have his way outside, he will likely stop 'hating'. She doesn't want another child and her partner desperately wants one, what is wrong in that? Let him go outside and get it, after all the burden of care will be on him. This craze of women wanting to keep the man to themselves is why many women discover their husband have kids outside wedlock when he dies. The man wants a kid with his wife and the wife says no, allow him go out then.
A woman who has a philandering husband still needs sexual satisfaction and it's only wise to use protection. or are u also suggesting she goes outside to get satisfied? Dear coco, not all women have whoring tendencies, irrespective of their partners behavior. Not all woman are like u liberals who believe whoring is a modern day virtue.

Does Christianity allow philandering in men? Because the way a lot of guys justify men cheating is just baffling to me.

Does Christianity allow men to "go outside" and get any gender of children they want?

Abi which religion do you follow?

Wow, if Thai story is true, then wow.
Just wow, I don't even know what to say.

Many heartless animals in the form of men moving about in this country.
Personally sha, knowing how much I love revenge I will document and save evidence of how the man was trying to destroy the marriage and his daughters happiness because of male child. I will make sure I let his daughters know that he placed less value on them for being female and I will really turn them against him and make them hate him.
Me I no be prayer and forgiveness type at all.
Tufiakwa.

GraGra247:
Bros I'm giving you report based on countless households I've visited since I was born till now.

I have always witnessed where the wife will come and meet the husband for money for one household needs or the other and hardly ever the reverse.

There's something called survey. Make a survey report of 1000 families in Lagos. It may just be 5 out of those that have women fully sustaining at that moment (means just temporary).

That should easily give you an estimate.

Likewise, I also have visited countless households where the husband is either jobless or his own money cannot feed himself talkless of the family so the wife has to double her hustle to provide for everybody.

My own survey report na from both Lagos, Abuja, Sokoto and the whole Nigeria.

Nonsense and ingredients. All those plenty women in offices and in marketplaces who are they spending their money on if not family? Instead of appreciating them men keep pretending they don't know that many women are breadwinners.