₦airaland Forum

SmartMugu:
Those are white folks. Some of their woman love that. Some won't even mess with a man that can't put them through that. It's their culture. In Nigeria it's a different ballgame. The woman go first ask you why?? But this woman wanted it and she got it, so it doesn't count towards abuse at all.

Chillisauce:
You are here fighting Byvan over coco babygal while EfemenaXY had secretly cornered her with one of her teenage sons.
When the babe turns 18, Efe's 31yr old son by then will show up with cooool cash. Your boy and Byvan boy will still be carrying bag pack for one of their anthropology course
Make una dey hustle. The silent ones are the ones you should be aware of.

Happy new yr

agarawu23:
my earlier comment u quoted was a joke with that lady, I just can't stand a career Lady and I blv I will find my type of girl sooner or later

kelvinclint:
.Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage.
.
An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus-
.
"grow up, MAKE MONEY,
raise a family".
.
A girl plans hers like-
.
"grow up, finish school, get
married".
.
Girls are not taught to dream
independently, they think
their final destination is in a
man's home. The "better
tomorrow" they are taught to
dream of is a tomorrow
inside their husband's home.
No! It's wrong. You need to
first carve a life for yourself
before you put yourself in
the control of a man.
.
Girls are taught To dream to
be Queens. Meaning they are
taught that no matter how
high they fly they still have
to be under a man, her
king.... When they could
actually be Kings themselves.
.
You might say getting
married doesn't stop you
from winning, but that's false.
Marriage creates a lot of
limitation for women...
Socially, economically, even
psychologically. Women are
home makers. A woman's
primary concern is building a
home. When you finish school
and you get married almost
immediately, childbirth,
domestic duties, etc will limit
your hustle. You are gonna
live your life in the shadow
of your husband. You are
gonna be just another
puppet in the hands of your
husband.
.
Some women even become
housewives, like you live all
your life under the sole
control of a man? From being
under your dad straight to
being under a man.... How do
you live with that?
.
Women need to be taught to
dream. They need to be
taught they are also an
independent being, and they
also need to carve out a life
for themselves.
.
African parents need to stop
putting pressure on their
female children to get
married immediately after
school. Teach them to strive
like they are the ones going
to raise a family on their
own. Boys are brought up to
strive, to create a Kingdom,
why can't women be taught to
be same?
.
Women and men will never
ever be equal if women are
trained to see their ultimate
end in the comfort of
marriage. Take your time,
how can you be just 23 and
you are already feeling ripe
to marry? What have you
achieved? Will you die if you
don't get married quickly?
.
Girls need to focus more on
personal development after
school. Life starts after
school... Try to make a living
for yourself. Girls need to
stop being pressured to
marry too quickly! They are
not men's properties!
.
Y'all need a new mindset
Africans.

TV01:
Where have I ever stated that people should endure suffering and pain And a focus on DV without the proper context is the way to strong and healthy marriages

On the contrary, you and your cohort prescribe divorce for anything self-defined as "shitty or awful". And not only that, but you
1. Never correctly contextualise domestic relationships vis-a-viz marriage
2. Give any heed to types and degrees of abuse
3. Or the fact that it cuts both ways
4. And possibly worse of all, never give any pause for thought, or consideration to the importance of the foundations of marriage.


As above, you are not. Not least because, abuse to a degree - even if only for a period - characterises many marriages, but that does not mean that it is serious or horrendous, or that divorce is the panacea. And even a zero-tolerance approach to abuse is not best served by a blanket divorce policy.

You are a divorce proponent, and have been challenged repeatedly for raising it even when the situation does not warrant it. And your blinkered and un-nuanced focus on violence and death in order to valorise divorce is very damaging to healthy families.


TV

agarawu23:
see coco

I think that's my own way and what I want for myself. Different strokes for folks.

H2Ossss:
lol... i never said i did it, and i dont think am a hypocrite... it was stated in the 10 commandment yeah... also stated was thou shall not kill... but God ordered the isrealites to kill... even down to animals... so wt will u say about that? they were hypocrites to kill since it suited them then? so y blame the muslims when their god tells dem to kill ppl?

H2Ossss:
hmmm.... God permitted solomon to have 700 wives and 300 concubines and was still blessed with wisdom above all men, David had so many wives but was still a man after Gods heart.... and small me will have sex be4 marriage and its now a sin?? haba mallam... habaar... cut me some slack naa. i dont knw if its right or wrong shaaa...

agarawu23:
wanna catch a doctor like you so that you can gv me injection

quivah:
Sorry, but no one like me needs an enemy of progress

You can try an upcoming road side chemist, you know..you still get to receive your injection. and set up her business.. Just like you want

TV01:
An awful (or shitty) marriage does not mean death ensues, or that divorce is the best option.

If championing strong, healthy marriages is weird, no problem.

Godspeed.


TV

TV01:
You are co-campaingers for divorce, along with several others. Between you, you have inter-alia campainged to 1. have the stigma removed from divorce, 2. diminish the sanctity of marriage and, 3. even normalise divorce as a good thing.

I thought you had a bun in your oven


TV

classicB:
because a divorced woman is angry and vile. Some of them try to turn the back of the kids against their daddy by saying all sort of bad things about him, no matter how hard the man try to be a responsible father, the kids would not appreciate it. Men know this and that is why they dnt indulge themselves. Not all dads tho.

Mindfulness:
What is NL about? It is about cyber interaction and the fun of it. And truth be told, without opposing views, there would be much less fun, don't you agree? It would be a bit dull.

You seem to be enjoying debates too, you just end them quicker. You love harmony, don't ya?



I see a lot of reason in what Strawman is saying. If I didn't, I wouldn't proceed with the discussion.



It has just happened and I have seen it happen before too.

TV01:
Your co-campaigner Bukatyne, considers a shitty marriage" as grounds for divorce, and it's the logical conclusion to the thinking of your cohort.


And again, not all abuse is violent, life-threatening, or grounds for divorce. And whatever the situation - even this one - efforts should be made to restore the union first. Your abuse = divorce mantra is plain wrong and irresponsible - wrongly irresponsible


Histrionics. A violent union,may not be life-threatening. And in any event, the root of the violence can be considered and possibly resolved, before the rush to divorce.


Like I said, you are a campaigner, not a thought leader. If his life is in danger, he can remove himself from the situation, and make initial efforts from a distance. Going straight to divorce is not the key or even the safest response .


I read the OP, what has he been doing since? And yes, he should continue until he has satisfied himself all efforts have been exhausted, not head straight to divorce. Further, he should not have entered the union with the requisite understanding, preparation and due diligence, which he clearly did not.


You belong to the cohort of divorce campaigners, na lie


You are patently "not sorry". Per my previous post, I typically advise where an issue is presented, not where divorce is demanded. I usually address men, and I always advice going the extra mile to restore the union. I posted the link clearly demonstrating this.

If you can fond a link where I have acted as you have alleged, I will deactivate .


At least I defend, expound and champion it. Feel free to grow your passion for "divorce in an instant" .


You are the one stressing yourself, looking for enemies of divorce


Thank you and thank you. Likewise. So, have you dropped yet?


TV

TV01:
I did ask him to work on his marriage that's a generic response for me - indeed, what has he been doing


Please evidence this . I typically only give advise when issues are presented, not when divorce is desired, and I always put safety first, if it is an issue.


Not every case, but you freely prescribe it and stridently campaign for it.


You prescribe divorce for "shitty unions" - where shitty is self defined,therefore quite meaningless. And you point to divorce in any instance of "abuse", even where it is not life threatening. You care little for the sanctity of marriage.


My loffly dorra !


TV

Mindfulness:
It isn't always about winning.

ogawisdom:
U r an idi.ot to think a man of d house shld b turned into an errand boy even b4 guests

MsGlobalwonder:
coco the coco.. so Christians should sex-away . Oshey!!!

TV01:
Cococandy, you never drop ? Get it right, I am pro-marriage. And whatever the case is, he should first make every effort to restore his marriage, as I have advised and will continue to advise people facing difficulty in their unions.

The floor is your is you want to go straight to divorce - in fact, don't even bother to label it a "shitty marriage" first, in order to justify it .

We are busy putting the "merry" into christmas and you are scouring NL looking for divorce cases? E no dey tire you? Abeg, tell Oga to "murder that thing" . Not DV type murder 0 - I hear it hastens delivery.


TV

babeabike:
Thanks,

On issue of picking her up,maybe ppl got me wrong because I didn't expatiate the reason behind my hesitation.Just 3 weeks ago that my mum came to Lagos n was about 3km away from our house,I suggested we pick her up which he outrightly declined that she should take her cab that he could not go out because of heavy traffic

This is my mum who always come to Lagos with her car and had never asked for such favours.She had helped bring all our wedding gifts in bits on each of her journey down.Even brought food stuffs on some occasions.And then my husband declined and I had to drive down at about 9pm with my protruding tummy all alone to bring in my mum.

Tell me how would I react to his volunteer to go bring the girl from over 50km away during festive season(with so much traffic in town) after refusing to pick my own mum that has BN supportive and relevant to us.And now there was more traffic in town than the day my mum came around.Who deserved bn picked up? Someone from a journey or someone within Lagos?

Oyind17:
I only asked a question cos I felt bad. light hid marriage on fire ke! who have extra time for another man's marriage ?

ogawisdom:
If ur bros is a houseman then its OK, by d way who is d breadwinner d woman is acting the man n this comes with being d family breadwinner, pause n do a little check she pays house rent, children sch fees n feeds d family

zaza999:
If this story is true,then: It is likely the woman is the breadwinner of the family.She may be the one that sponser the marriage.Your brother contributes nothing other than di.ck.The woman has used water n washed her private part and used it to cook for him while babalawo give her and told her what to do to ensure "Do as I say".Sorry for ur bros!

byvan03:
Lol, you still dey build palace, Cococandy don already collect trailers of yams and 10 cows for the engagement rights. The rightful Prince has been in karate classes for two years in case people like you comes around to crash a perfect engagement party . No need to dey wait Prince wey im palace still dey under construction .


Wait for next turn, beg Coco to born your own Queen. This one was taken before her conception. You are invited to the engagement party, come with your boy because other chics will be there for taking .