Family › Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 4:27pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
Acidosis: You're concluding on my behalf? It would cost me nothing to give my best. I wouldn't be so frustrated to the point of considering a concubine after 2 years of no sex. Let me also conclude that your best will include being the provider and hands-on care giver at the bedside. Maybe you’ll also take her to work with you so that you can be present to clean any mess that she might make while you’re not at home. Some things are very easy to say from a high moral ground you know  but I’m happy to hear that you hope to try. That’s good. Now keep the ‘hope’ for your theoretical situation to the side and have compassion for someone who is actually going through the situation for REAL  |
Family › Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 3:49pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
Acidosis: Poor man. Wish he had a grown up. A grown child is more reliable than the useless woman he called a wife. At least, the child can take him in and care for him. This is why people, both men and women alike, put their kids first and do almost anything to make them happy. Even a bastard, in most instances, is more reliable than the regular and typical selfish partner. Yes a grown up child would be such a blessing in this case. At least the child can help with money for food while the wife pauses her ambitions (whatever they may be) to care for her husband. But it doesn’t make her useless that she’s feeling frustrated at this point. You wouldn’t be better than her if you were to thrust into the same situation. |
Family › Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 3:45pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
What you do ultimately depends on your specific situation.
Only those who have cared for bedridden patients 24/7, 365 days a year can have a real opinion on this issue. I can’t even have a realistic opinion on this if I were to be in your situation. Like personally I won’t leave him because love and feelings and for better for worse right? But I also feel like I would be more equipped to deal with it than you seem to be right now, so my reality won’t be same as yours.
In your case, How bad is the damage? Can he move his arms? Is therapy an option so that he can at least learn to move himself from wheelchair to bed? What’s his spirit like? A lot of people get depressed in situations like this and some of them become mean towards their caregivers. If that’s the case, how much of it can you take?
If he’s totally bed ridden? In that case,Who will be the bread winner while you’re at his bedside caring for him. He will develop sacral and other bony prominence pressure ulcers if he’s not turned and repositioned at least every two hours.
You need someone to care for him while you hustle to feed and provide for the family. You can’t do both because you can’t be in two places at once. You say his family doesn’t want to help, Has he personally reached out to them? Sometimes you grovel for what you really need. He can’t let pride get in the way now.
As for sex, that part is probably permanently damaged. I can’t tell you what to do, because you will eventually do what you want to do.
Realistically, were you to be the injured party, he wouldn’t go without sex for the rest of his life, sit at your bedside cleaning your poo and pee for the 6-7 times you use the bathroom a day and still find a way to provide for you and your child. At the very best, your family members would be the ones nursing you while he cares for the kid and provides for the family. And no, he wouldn’t be celibate for the rest of his young life. Yes, he would be a very good man for doing that much. People often hold women to inhuman and lofty standards. Don’t join them to punish yourself like that.
If you divorce him, he will be in worse condition than he is now so please don’t listen to those who are asking you to leave because you can’t take the lack of sex. He should learn to be smart about what he needs and not what his pride dictates. |
Politics › Re: Insurgency: Nigerians In Diaspora Pass Vote Of Confidence On PMB, Service chiefs by cococandy(f): 12:56pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
On today’s episode of things that never happened.
Only his bought imps passed the vote. |
Crime › Re: 20-Year-Old Girl Raped And Killed In Illorin (Disturbing Photos) by cococandy(f): 12:24pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
It’s not by crying on the internet. If you don’t change, they’ll catch you and justice will be done. Because I don’t know why you will be wailing like an idiot and screaming my name up and down the thread simply because I called out a rape apologist if you don’t have anything to hide. And you think women have emotional issues. Some idiot said internet black women should stop exposing their bodies. I told him to shut up because that has nothing to do with this case. And you have been upset since then. Talk about emotions. Only repentance will save you. It’s actually your fellow men who have been talking about castration but your colored alphabets won’t let you see that. Look at the screenshot below. That’s the reason you have been wailing  My goodness!. You need to come to terms with whatever is eating at you and deal with it. RAPE APOLOGIST. Disgusting One4me: And that is where l think we need to focus on first, eveb as we try to deal with the Rape allegations which seem to be on the rise. Honestly, if l have the Power, l cant imagine what l can do to anyone confirmed of being a Rapist.
But what l or any sensible person, especally males should not fall for is the Stereotyping and Generalisation that Rape is a MALE ONLY OFFENSE and that once accused, the Accused person is GUIILTY as CHARGED, without any form of INVESTIGATION and PROOF.
That would amount to Mob-mentality and Injustice, make Rape a weapon in the hands of BITTER, VENGEFUL Women like cococandy who have emotional issues they cant deal with. So Govt needs to improve on basic general security, establish more forensic Laboratories and train more staff to make use of modern technology and equipment to crack Rape cases and everyone who could be a potential victim shoudl also look at ways of minimising their exposure to such animals that can commit rape ("commonsense practices" lthat would not make me carry a hundred thousand dollars in my hand wallet and walk into a den of robbers at 11pm, hoping the Armed Robbers will be normal sensible people and wont rob me, because they know that Armed Robbers will get killed when caught! )
These are the things the Evil Feminnist who are shouting ontop of their Voice for Castration of anyone ACCUSED, dont want to happen because they know that if structures of investigation and rewuirement for proofs are put in place, their Evil manipulationand use of Rape allegations for VENGEANCE ON MEN, will not sail through. And any WRONGFULLY accused Male could be your Dad, your Husband, your Son, Your Brother, Your Uncle, etc so dont think it has to be "the other man" on the road.
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Crime › Re: 20-Year-Old Girl Raped And Killed In Illorin (Disturbing Photos) by cococandy(f): 12:19pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
Stop crying in my ear. Ask yourself where any of the irrational nonsense you have been wailing about was mentioned in my post. One hallmark of rape apologist is that they try to add or remove meaning from what another person is saying to further their agenda. Disgusting One4me: You too have started smoking Oshogbo weed, right? You better go and drink Red Oil so your head and brain can get a reprieve.  Otherwise, how you came about all the nonsense you wrote up there, which actually confirms that you are a bitter, eccentric shizophrenic with menosaupal attacks syndrome, would have made me wonder aloud. 
I never said the Victim is to be blamed, alll did was state ALL POSSIBILITIES for others to examine but l know the modus operandi of Evil doers like you: You dont want any form of investigation or logical accountability, all you want is to accuse any Male, rightly or wrongly and the Male should be lynched, without any form of fact-finding, so that you can achieve your Male-Hate agenda. Guess what, YOU HAVE FAILED.  Aaanty Oode, take your Meds and stop hallucinating and making up lies, even on annonymous Social media platforms. All those things you wrote are imagined from your jaundiced-brain and have nothing to do with my post. Whether you like it or not, things would have to be addressed with a rational brain, without the input of imps who are on a Male-Hate agenda. Deal wirrit. 
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Crime › Re: 20-Year-Old Girl Raped And Killed In Illorin (Disturbing Photos) by cococandy(f): 2:03am On Jul 09, 2020*. Modified: 2:39am On Jul 09, 2020 |
You don’t know this victim in this situation. How do you know if they have blame or not? What makes you okay with his post that tries to minimize this grievous situation but has you spitting venom at mine? Maybe because you recognize that you’re a rape apologist that no one even called you. If the shoe fits anyway. Your stupid gender bias and hate for women cannot let you allow a dead woman Rest In Peace. You have to find a way to make her responsible for what her killer did. Even though you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KNOW HER and was not there when any of what happened took place. You want us to learn from what? From a situation that you know nothing about? You see a dead body and assume she must have brought it on herself. And want to teach us lesson based on it. Dense and denser. And you have the nerve to talk about rationality and seeing things for what they are. Pray tell what other facts are you seeing that the other readers aren’t privy to? If not your misogynistic hate. Nonsense. One4me: People like you cant just ressist the urge to label anyone who does not suffer your herd mentality or anyone who uses their own brain to actually THINK, a Rape apologist? What exactly is wrong with you? Cant you see issues for just what they are: A SERIOUS CRIME And address the issues, suggest sensible solutions that are devoid of stewpid feminnism and gender-bais against men? If a Victim has blame (a big 'IF'), being a Victim will not wish-away such blame and it is actually dense, to not acknowledge such 'blame' so that others can learn from it but thst does not mean it excuses the Crime or those who point it out are Rape apologist. Turning a grevious issue like this into your usual Feminnism'Gender-fight is not helping to bring clarity to a serious issue like Rape.
Grow-Up, please. I expect adults to reason as adults, be objective, logical and rational in their thought-process![/color] Na waah o! |
Politics › Re: Andrew Yakubu: $9.7m, £74000 Found In My House By EFCC Were Given To Me As Gifts by cococandy(f): 10:09pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
I think you mean bribes Chris525: Its more than possible. In oil business, $1M is not a lot of money.
I know a Senator in charge of a juicy senate committee that got $1M cash 'gift' in 2013. I wasnt told, I saw the money with my eyes.
Another person got appointed as DG of a govt. agency. The week he resumed, he got to 2 cars & a rolex wristwatch. Peter Obi as governor got a very juicy gift (I wont mention) but he turned it down.
Most of the money they found with PGEJ are easily gifts...too easily.
You have to be around power people to understand. |
Politics › Re: Andrew Yakubu: $9.7m, £74000 Found In My House By EFCC Were Given To Me As Gifts by cococandy(f): 10:08pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
Smh |
Crime › Re: 20-Year-Old Girl Raped And Killed In Illorin (Disturbing Photos) by cococandy(f): 10:06pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
Of course the victim blamers don’t disappoint. So, those online people are the reason why this girl was killed? Banmeallday: This is getting out of hand. To all black women portraying themselves sexually online and in the media please stop.
To all pastors preaching prosperity please take a stand on this |
Celebrities › Re: Ini Edo Commences Empowerment Programme For Young Women by cococandy(f): 4:06pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
Beautiful |
Family › Re: Son Destroys Food Items In The Kitchen After Mum Refused His Request (Video) by cococandy(f): 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
StRichard: Just read the comments, nairaland is home of pathetic tribalists. it’s disheartening |
Family › Re: Son Destroys Food Items In The Kitchen After Mum Refused His Request (Video) by cococandy(f): 12:36pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
[quote author= post=91496580]Truer words have never been spoken. You've said it all. Nothing to be added, nothing to be taken away. May God never give us the pikin wey go kill him parents with wahala. Porn.star Cownu is a perfect example of a killer child. May his parents soul continue to RIP.
Sigh!![/quote]So you’re tribalistic too. Mmmm |
Family › Re: Son Destroys Food Items In The Kitchen After Mum Refused His Request (Video) by cococandy(f): 12:34pm On Jul 08, 2020 |
Wow omenka: Don't you dare condemn it o. According to our friend, what he did is right, that is why I'm being reported to the mods for condemning his actions.
All of them are just the same.
Spits. Ipobs are a hazard to humanity. No wonder the FG labelled them Terrorists. Tell me if the boy in that video doesnt have the tendency to kill his parents. |
Travel › Re: US To Deport Foreign Students Whose Courses Go Fully Online by cococandy(f): 10:35am On Jul 08, 2020 |
kgyche: Is Buhari not doing the same thing for his Fulani tribe that reck havoc across the country. Of course he is. What does one have to do with the other? You can’t condemn them both? |
Family › Re: 4 Out Of 5 Pastors Said She Is My Wife, But We Dont See Eye To Eye by cococandy(f): 9:39pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
What you get when you can’t make decisions for yourself. Is there a reason why another person has to tell you who to be with?  |
Travel › Re: US To Deport Foreign Students Whose Courses Go Fully Online by cococandy(f): 5:47pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
coulisse: I am very sure you are talking about yourself. #Trump 2020 #Trump is better than dementia Biden. #Trump is not a racists  |
Travel › Re: US To Deport Foreign Students Whose Courses Go Fully Online by cococandy(f): 5:09pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
Shame coulisse: yes he got the slogan from the KKK doesn't mean he is racist, they don't hunt negroes in America, I am sure you have seen Videos of people complaining in the Arab world they are mistreating them I have never seen that in America. Trump has done more for the black community than even Obama and don't say because I am in naija I don't know about Trump,almost every day I go to reddit(which is a liberal house) and read up on him. Before Trump was elected he helped the black community and he even gave them money but because he says American first he is racist, go to Pakistan and tell them BLACK FIRST, if they don't call you monkey. Nigerians who hate Trump are delusionalries. |
Travel › Re: US To Deport Foreign Students Whose Courses Go Fully Online by cococandy(f): 5:07pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
Racist motherfvcking Trump will stop at nothing to make sure he secures a white majority for America. Lol at his colored supporters. Shameless |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 11:40pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Asadujames202: Ho(e) talk
99% of Nigerian girls are Asha(w)o
Including ya I know  |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 9:37pm On Jul 06, 2020*. Modified: 9:27pm On Jul 07, 2020 |
Unnerve: But it does matter, no? I mean considering that I'm trying to understand if you have that opinion because it's something you did personally, or because you know some chics who did it and told you about it. What matters is whether it’s true or not. Not whether I did it too or not. Maybe I’m not interested in sharing that much information. Who knows? Me and a few chics I know are not enough of a population sample to determine if the truth for all women depends on our personal experiences. You’re just curious for your own self . |
Crime › Re: Enugu: Couple Remanded In Prison For Brutalising 10-Year-Old House Help (Photos) by cococandy(f): 9:08pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
6 inch nail. I still can’t believe what I read.  |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 8:53pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Unnerve: Do you, or rather, did you?
Oh well Doesn’t matter what I say on here. It won’t change what’s true for all the world’s female population. |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 8:36pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Unnerve: I don't know if many women will agree with you here, lol. It’s the internet. Anyone can say what they like but in real life we know many women have sex just for the sake of it. No love involved. No money involved. but yes, it just is and I never did imply it was something to be proud of as a man as I'm sure you did not either despite your caveat. Maybe you didn’t mean to imply it but it’s all too common for men to use their “biology“ as excuse to be layabouts. And smugly tell you as a woman that you don’t understand. But when you do understand as a woman and can accurately express the same tendencies as they do, then it’s not your biology that to blame. You’re just a slut  Like how all Nigerian girls are sluts but the boys they are having sex with aren’t. For the boys it’s their biology at fault.  |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 8:12pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
I think you meant to say lack of control By the way it’s not unique to men. Many women will let anything/anyone stick them too when they feel h0rny. And no it’s not something to be proud of. It just is. Unnerve: Funny question, but not surprising coming from a woman. Lol
You don't understand the unique electrical impulses of a man's brain. Most men don't need to believe a woman is great or the best before sticking it into her. The problem usually begins when he gets carried away by how good the sex was and then marries her just because of it, e.g the OP |
Family › Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cococandy(f): 8:08pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
If she feels the same way, that means you guys can get amicably divorced. You can’t force love |
Food › Re: Cook In Your Kitchen, Take Pictures And Post It Here. SIMPLE! by cococandy(f): 12:48pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Prestonn: You can have everything beautiful Mami. I’m not greedy. I’ll take just the rice and vegetables |
Food › Re: Cook In Your Kitchen, Take Pictures And Post It Here. SIMPLE! by cococandy(f): 11:59am On Jul 06, 2020 |
Come to mama Prestonn: Village kitchen
Rice Vegetable |
Family › Re: Women: 20 Ways To Protect Yourself From Rapists by cococandy(f): 8:23am On Jul 06, 2020 |
They didn’t add “coveR youR bodY”. Also. There’s a difference between advice and judgment. I like this 17. SPEAK UP If you hear someone making light of sexual violence or condoning it, speak up. |
Family › Re: Why Are 80% Of Divorces Filed By The Wives? by cococandy(f): 8:35pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
CanadaOrBust: I now see what the problem is. What we are talking about is GRATUITOUS BASELESS WICKEDNESS. The type of callousness that allows a person to promptly file for divorce once they deem it the right thing to do, without wasting time considering how it might hurt others. CanadaOrBust: I never said nor do I remotely believe any such 70% nonsense. Not even 5%.
Let me also say that the most empathetic, bleeding heart people are also women CanadaOrBust: Oh yes, memes and popular culture evolve out of thin air. Only “scholarly articles” have some basis. Yeah, that’s it Okay whatever you say you’re correct.  I’ve told myself I won’t waste my time doing these NL back and forths anymore. I don’t know why I still come back to it once in a while. You won’t convince me and I won’t convince you. No need spending my afternoon typing at you when it’s not penetrating. |
Family › Re: Why Are 80% Of Divorces Filed By The Wives? by cococandy(f): 7:42pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
CanadaOrBust: Of course there are always exceptions, but generally speaking such women tend to want to get rid of their husband much more more than men.
Popular culture does not evolve from beer parlor stats. They evolve from observation over decades and centuries. Wicked step mother, mother in-law, torturer madam, etc, did not evolve from beer parlor gist Again you will be found on any thread saying that 70 % of first kids don’t belong to the husbands yarning away. Forgetting this your post  When that time comes, ask yourself how those 70% of marriages are still intact after the wives have been frolicking with other men. You guys tell yourselves stuff to massage your egos and deny reality |
Family › Re: Why Are 80% Of Divorces Filed By The Wives? by cococandy(f): 7:39pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
CanadaOrBust: Who do u consider more wicked - someone who callously tortures a helpless maid simply because she can or someone who robs a store because he wants easy money?
Check out this my thread: https://www.nairaland.com/5964241/why-70-u.s-black-women Someone who kills and sells people in parts because he wants to make money. You realize this is childish right? You really want to compare violent crimes by gender? You go lose! |