₦airaland Forum

Okay.

postmann:


Cut yourself some slack and dispense with the cheap antics. You're a weak woman with emotional fragility. Easily touched and provoked.

Truth be told, you're not much of a worthy feminist crusader. Your motives are limited to your personal shortcomings and mishaps. There's an underlying reason for your misandry, somewhere down the road, where you have crestfallen and ripped apart by some heartless brute.

Did I hear you say freedom? If what you do here as a married woman with kids is what you call freedom, then you're a lost case. You're the evidence of a world gone wrong; the corrosion of the sanctity of motherhood and matrimony, the hopless of the age and loss of focus.

You have no freedom, rather you're troubled and restless. You should be overly preoccupied with wifely and motherhood duties than engaging men on an online forum. Something is hollow within your world, something unfulfilling and traumatising. You need this forum for diversion from some ugly reality. And firm principled, uncompromising men remind you of your fate - the weaker vessel.

postmann:

That was borderline-close dear cococandy. I felt your pulse racing as you type
You virtually stuck out a hand for my heart but I'm just unreachable.
That's how my post are designed - to violently provoke your being, to question that which you have long falsely held as truth, to erupt that deep-seated uncontrollable anger in you, to call me names, but never forgetting where my arrows left its mark, somewhere deep within your core.

But I came with the truth and I'm generous with it.

You talk about my consolation, my insecurity and my irrelevance but my little submission found its way right through you, ripping of your mask, and your squirm in anger and took it personal.

I didn't actually mean to perforate your thinly veiled security.

My gosh.

Grandiose and delusional. Aren't you a tool.

Uncle Sad and lonely dude.

You need to find love like mencade5 did and maybe your fixation with 21st century women and our freedom will lessen.

I truly feel sad for you. Something about the so called freedom that the 21st century woman has clearly doesn't let you sleep at night.

I've never seen someone more disturbed about the freedom of others than you (well except din@chi) who I suspect you are or do a good job of copying.

I hope you find peace.

Nobody said men are disposable.
Projecting your fears?

And the rest of your nonsensical egotistic and sadistic rant can be seen for what it is.
Consolation for yourself.

I won't even dignify those with a response as it will be insult to women folk.


If we are so cursed, why are you weeping on our behalf? Why not let us weep for ourselves and bemoan our terrible 21st century fate?

Yet day in day out you and your kind of 'blessed' men troll the Internet trying to convince the world that you're still relevant.

Your type will even go extinct faster. No one has any use for sad insecure men who need to put women down to feel better.

It's pathetic and saddening.
I feel so sad for yous.

postmann:
Do a research on the negatives of children being raised without a father. That should tell you how forever indisposable the male folk is.

And I suppose the widower who can't wait to get married after six months married a fellow man.
The widow can't marry easily cos she's about rock bottom in the pecking order.



You really don't get it! This isn't about insecurity. It's double tragedy for the 21st century woman. She's more like a man. I can easily pick her from the club and take her home for the night. Then she's just a conquered frame in my sex gallery collection. She works just as hard as I. She'll age faster. She can't escape the premature wrinkles on her face. She's more sexually unfit and would have lesser time satisfying me in bed. As she ages prematurely and loses her appeal due to stress and unavailability, her male partner will start looking for fresh teenage girls to beep with. They'll need his money.
You see, the 21st century woman is doubly cursed. Cursed with d burden meant for men. The devil gave her some cheese in exchange for her happiness. And she's too daft to notice.


Women are the ones who really need to be afraid.

postmann:
No one said that. Women just need men more.

Yea. That's why widows are more able to raise their kids alone after the loss of their husbands but widowers can't survive unless they marry another wife 6 months later.

Any person with half a brain knows that these endless ramblings about 21st century women not being as dependent as they used to be stems from deep insecurity. You guys are afraid of becoming irrelevant.

Not to worry. It won't get to that.
Even if we don't need you (which we are honest enough to admit that we still do), we will still want you.
And That should guarantee your continued existence.

Y'all need to stop being afraid.

Something told me it's a short.

A sixth sense

Kimoni:
You try o Coco. How did you know they are shorts? Cuz I personally couldn't tell if they were shorts or skirt or scarf. I just confuse...

Efemenaxy, which part of Peckham did you take this pix?? Warri no dey carry last

Meanwhile, who took Chillisauce pix on that day naa? With her natural hair and a bottle of sepe we all know Chilli can drink for Africa I'm sure you don't miss Oktoberfest pls post your drinking cup make I see

More sexist rubbish.

Women need men.
Men don't need women.

Kimoni:
Yeah, that sorry in the link is confirmed.

But the story up here, I find it hard to believe that any sane person will do this. Is it not easier to just kill the innocent baby? What would have been the baby's offence? Then again, I thought northerners are more receptive of polygamy and it's peculiarities.

Well this one better be false.
Or it will be indeed sad.

We planned Jamaica trip this year.
See me see Jamaica.

edwife:


hehehe too late!

Come, is it this one you miss?

https://www.piranhaphotography.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/photo-pina-colada.jpg

or this one?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/45/PinaColada.jpg

is it this one?

https://monkeyvapes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/pina_colada.jpg

ipledge5:
This is a lie,I can send a link of one of his videos...the lady in that video didn't give in so easily...

So he's a rapist too.
I hope he's been arrested. Fool

I don't believe in juju.
I know people can be hypnotized though. It's not magic supernatural. It's an art or skill if you may.

All I know is that the boy is an idiot.

Kaira333:
Thanks to you all for ur wonderful advice but people shouldn't blame me for not inviting her sister instead of her as hubby suggested. Since my own mum couldn't make it and I can't cope alone, I thought its very unfair to her if I invite her younger sister instead of her. She won't forgive me in dis world if I have done dat but I have learnt my lessons.

well that is true.

edwife:
Wow! reading comments like hmmmmm


[size=2pt]** goes back to sipping pina colada**[/size]

Off topic sha.

pls Don't remind me of Bahamas island last year and their authentic pina colada.I've missed it ever since. What we get here doesn't compare.
I almost feel bad I can't go anywhere this year because of this tiny omomo.

_{I have this topic derailing habit that I need to overcome.}

Back to topic.

edwife:
Why won't you remember?

Efe you guys underestimate coco o, sit down there- someone who drank a full bottle of vodka that day?



Why e no go tear? na your size?

me? It was only one glass.

Yea. That's another angle too.

edwife:
Agree but @ embolden Not many women in Nigeria give up their "carriers" willingly in this day and age, Nigeria is tough and one parent working will not be ideal for the family considering the fact that the minimal wage is 18k. Very few Nigerian women willingly do it, it is either there is a better deal at home or the marriage is in jeopardy.

Most of these women are at home because there is no jobs out there, it is not a choice,it's the situation of the country.They also have to depend on their husbands who bring little or nothing at home hence, they can't start a business with no capital. Staying at home is the only option for them.

lol but I thought they confirmed it.


Cc kimoni

EfemenaXY:
I followed the link. That story isn't true and the woman looks too clean to be living it out rough on the streets.

Probably a scam cooked up by the @op.

Sorry I'm typing with a phone. I can't break down your posts bit by bit.

@bold, I didn't generalize.

#2) About domestic abuse in the west, the police won't tell you to go settle it as family matter. The point is not that it doesn't happen. It's that when it does and you chose to report something will be done about it. Just trying to make part that clear.

And since you agree, that we are still at baby steps stage it means that my post still stands true.

All these fighting for custody by women is still new hence my reply to Efe's question as to how a woman can willingly give her child to the step mom is correct. She can't. The kids are usually taken from them.

Some are fighting it. Many still don't know they can and some when they do, have to be really strong in order to win.
Talking about weaned children in Igbo culture. That's like 1-2yrs?
We are still saying the same thing.
Why should such a child be given to the dad when we know that the fathers weren't trained from the beginning to take care of children.

If the child is given to the mom only if the man didn't pay bride price, it follows that most of the time it will be given to the dad because most people pay bride price in Nigeria.

I'm not saying it's automatic, I'm saying that to a large extent, traditon still influences these decisions. And that's for those who get to the courts.

Primarily, My first post was centered around those women who can't even afford to go to court. There are many such women. And it's mostly because they gave up career to raise kids hence no income of their own. (Of course there may be other reasons).

As such the men can afford to throw them out any time they want and hand their kids to the step mom to take care of for him.

That's why you see many ladies saying they are staying for their kids. Because they know they can't fight the men for the kids if they want to leave.

Like you I believe the baby steps will lead to something better someday. Where the best suited parent is given custody not the one traditon says to give it to.

edwife:
Every African wives that stay at home needs to be convinced by that? Is every woman who stay at home maltreated by their husband in Africa?

The law is also taking it course in Nigeria, women are seeking for help now and coming out of abusive marriages.Baby steps. Even in America,a woman is battered, usually by her intimate partner, every 15 seconds and less than half of domestic violence incidents are reported to police.. (UN Study On The Status of Women, Year 2000)




Under Sharia law custody is usually granted the mother; under Yoruba customary law, mothers are granted custody of female children and fathers of male children. In Igbo customary law custody is of weaned children is usually given to the father. Mind you Nigeria has numerous ethnic groups and customary laws vary broadly.

For a marriage to be subject to customary law the ceremonies for consecrating marriage under that particular system of customary law must have been complied with and the bride price must have been paid. If these conditions have not been met any custody of any children of the relationship will be automatically awarded to the mother and or her father. The welfare office can help here.



True most of the time.



He always get them if the woman refuses to fight or gives up along the way. Custody battles anywhere in the world is a long and nasty process.



They don't just give the father the child by 7, the father needs to go to court and the court will then decides if he can have the kid.7 years old is just the age limit for a father to demand for the custody of his child.Father’s that are asking for custody of children during divorce proceedings are equally required to prove that they can personally provide attention, care and nurture in addition to material needs and that they are fit to have custody.

Will the court automatically grant custody to a father that is also a violent drug addict and regularly disappears for months at a time? No. Will the court grant custody to an abusive man that believes his wife is a witch and takes his children for strange midnight rituals and exorcisms? No.

Likewise the court will not automatically grant custody to a mother if she is a drug addict or a dangerously delusional religious zealot. Case law shows the child interests being paramount. Custody hearings are getting more sophisticated and judges are asking insightful questions about the best interest of a child in any given circumstance.



Yes, they are. They are now at least 3 or 4 welfare offices in each town.

EfemenaXY:
Lol!!

Twas the moves I learnt from Chillisauce and Eddy at Alcatraz. Shebi you were there too? I don't think Kimoni was "bad" enough to get a place in there, back then - before the tsunami.

I was. I remember.

Those days

SAMBARRY:
this one too will fit you

I'm saving pictures.
Tenks

Smh

EfemenaXY:
That is eh!

Eddy haff finish me. Even the hot pants get as them be.

Oh well, I must have had a fantastic time going by the state of those shorts.

Those shorts

Did you tear them while twerking?

These are really lovely dresses.
Thanks for the mention. I need to make some native dresses.

SAMBARRY:
Cococandy aka mummy princess. Food Don ready. Come and see owanmbe style you go wear go owanmbe with your asoebi

@bold. Lol. Of course not. But that's the phrase they will use to convince them to stay home.

Wives in the west don't need such convincing because if the man tries to use their staying home to maltreat them, they'll be protected if they chose to.

Another thing about law in Nigeria is that it varies. Like a couple who only got married in the traditional setting will have their case settled in the customary courts. In which case the man will still get the kids even if he can't take care of them because of tradition.

Women who have their kids after a break up with the man are mostly those who were abandoned with the children to fend for them alone (this is the most common scenario).

But if the man decided he wants the kids, he almost always gets them.
For those who can go to regular courts, there's still some influence of traditon on custody decisions.
Afterall the decision makers are still to a large extent traditional people.
Else why will they give a 7yr old to the dad who's never bathed him/her before in his life when they know that child is going to be dumped with one grandma in the village or worse become a houseboy/girl to the second wife. Instead of being with the mom who in most cases is guaranteed to take the best care of the child.

It is true though that many women are beginning to fight it.

edwife:
Only 'true African wives' stay at home to care for their families? .

The kids are mostly taken away just like that from ignorant women/men who know nothing about the law in Nigeria. Like we all know our country, bribe is the order of the day, but many women now fight for the custody of their kids, as long as they have an income and a better environment for the kids.

Generally custody of very young children is awarded to the mother. There is also a preference for awarding custody of male children to the father and female children to the mother but again this is not a hard and fast rule and circumstances of each case determine the best interest of the child/children.Women in Nigeria have the right to have custody of their kids until they are 7 years old. Then the father can go to court to ask for custody if he wishes so.

Don't fatten your kid. You will be paving the way for teenage obesity.
If you can get her to eat all those things you listed there that she likes (apart from golden morn), then she's good. Healthy eating is key. Not how much.

Even the producers of golden morn warn you on the package that it's not for kids under age 3. Maybe that's why it gets her constipated.

Get veggies into her jollof rice since she likes jollof rice. Make a sauce with fish, crayfish or meat and let her use it for her fried potatoes as a source of protein.
Does she like fruit? If she doesn't like to eat them straight, you can juice them yourself (not the store bought high fructose corn syrup laden juices). Home juice is better. And a small hand held juicer is very inexpensive. That way she gets her vitamins and minerals.

You could let her eat the veggies like carrots and green beans with a teaspoon of peanut butter.

You can also make a sauce out of green leafy veggies like ugu and some kind of protein. let her eat it like that or with any other thing she likes.

Give her what she likes (not golden morn until she's 3) as long as there are carbs, proteins and good fat in them. Vits. and mins. are packed in fruits and veggies so use some of the tricks above to incorporate them into her diet and she'll be alright.

Chubby babies are so 2000 and late. Healthy babies are the in-thing now.

That's true though.

But it's a kind of hard advice to give someone because they may not know how to do it expertly in order to both call the bullshit and at the same time avoid insulting the other person.

byvan03:
To be honest with you I personally will explode right in front her and spill exactly how I feel about her bulls*hit with no sugar coating, I don't know how to tiptoe. So personally I did handle it the best way I know how to which is for the heaven to fall today or forever remain still method. My initial advise was based on the fact that sugar coating seems to be how most people roll. Make sure is in front of her son so she won't add jara and say you pushed her while twisting every thing you said. If you have the guts, this method will seal the lips permanently if you utilise it well.

Efe come worse pass.

See 5 people's thighs.

At least I have thin legs

edwife:
Chai I have suffered, i don't blame you people. Well, one of the advantages of being tall, i have the slimiest tummy in the group.

Chillisauce and kimoni used style to abuse me... and to say I was the one striking better pose than them.

When we were busy having fun in the village, efemenaxy was having hers in London-she couldn't come along but she definetely didn't want to miss out.

https://www.blacknaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/obese_lady_2.jpg

Our own British non nonsense lady, work oriented kinda girl.Warri girl no dey carry last!

Blame efe for that.

She was in charge of getting the make-up artist for this photoshoot and she didn't.

That's how they exposed my ugliness to the whole world.

#crying.

Kimoni:
Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Efe but looking at it again, I don't look too bad naa, Chillisauce is very correct, I killed it jor. See ma burriful legs But Cococandy ehnnn, choi!!! Big head, big bone, flat yansh, thin legs

But Damiso can pose for Africa sha; Efe, are you sure that's Dammy? that Ijebu woman sabi pose like this so

And of course the blue lady, see her face like oyoyo she go stand for front like say na food dem wan share

But ladies, you know we are all prettier than this in real life, if not for that outdated Kodak camera and fujifilm armyofone was using, we would not have turned out like this. So pls cheer up.

But true true ehnn I no just understand Cococandy for this picture at all...the rate of overworwor just too much

[size=2pt]I haff looked for trouble o, time to hide behind Chillisauce[/size]

Ha. I thought I was the only one who saw the inappropriate title.

EfemenaXY:
Are you a control freak?
Aside from sounding rude and obnoxious, why would you think of "taming" someone old enough to be your mother? How rude.
Image a young girl I've never met hoping to marry my son, asking how she can "tame" me. You never start.

Kachisbarbie:
tame kwa?
Is she a wild carnivorous animal?

Tame? How derogatory. Is she a wild animal?
You should be asking how you can get along with her not 'tame' her.

Some people and their use of words.

You should have listened to your husband when he said he didn't want her to come.
Well too late.
Ignore her just like some posters have said.
She's just looking for an excuse to find faults in your marriage.

Which one is that he's now dark and you should change his cream for him. Is he a baby? Some women sef.

You forgot to add 'a wise woman buildeth her home'.

Jahblessme:
Culled from bella naija


1) Man: Be yourself. Do what you want.
2)Woman: Endure

25 years later:

Man: This marriage has been so sweet, delicious and lovely.
Woman: Endurance and tolerance are key in all marriages. You have to endure

EfemenaXY:
Just like that?

How? Based on what??

If this story is real, then the mother of that child (unless mentally incapacitated) is a WEAKLING.

Arrant nonsense.

Yea just like that. Based on culture.

Except they go to court in which case most of them don't do. Either because they had been made to stop working to take care of the home as true 'African wives' lol and so can't afford lawyers or the man's family is more powerful.

Read this. https://www.nairaland.com/3091066/sos-23-years-old-lady

There are many like her. There's no rule of law back home.

Hehehe

Efe I won't be here when they come for you.

EfemenaXY:


That was my first impression of the ladies too.

Nah, there's no way you could have been the one keeping the men at bay na. It's a gra-gra position and Chilisauce's gragra-bility is out of this world.

Re: Damiso's shoes...(((stiffles laughter...)))