₦airaland Forum

Why should I die for her when Jesus has already died for her?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]The part where you didn't understand my statement...I said that I have helped women leave their abusive partners but for some reason I can't convince her to leave her partner. She is left her hometown to be with him so she doesn't have family members she can call in the area.

Hope you understand now.[/quote]Ok...now I do.

Wao that's a hell of a sacrifice she made (living in a town with no single family member)

Let me ask...since you desperately want to help this lady, have you thought about meeting her husband before? (I would advise you to go alone if at all you want to engage him in a conversation) What kind of person is he? Does he drink? Is he on drugs?

If you want to help this poor lady, there are many ways you can do it.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Have you ever been in a domestic violence relationship and if so, how did you remove yourself from it?[/quote]Nope I've never been in any.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Have you ever helped someone remove themselves from an abusive relationship?[/quote]Emm...not really.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]What are your thoughts on domestic violence in marriage or dating?[/quote]From my thoughts and views...I feel domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only...to gain and maintain total control over you.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]I have recently encouraged a friend of mine to leave her abusive partner because she would always cover herself with make up and hoodies.[/quote]Well...you did the right thing (by asking her to leave), I mean...you cannot allow a spouse to treat you poorly, or you’ll wind up hating yourself, your mate, your relationship and your life.  Since your husband is unlikely to change his behavior without being forced into it, it’s going to be up to you to enforce changes in your marriage. 

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]I told my husband about this situation and he suggested that I remove myself from the equation and we got into an argument because I felt like he was supporting the abuser.[/quote]If your husband asks you to refrain yourself from that subject, then obey him and avoid bringing it up so peace can reign in your home.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]My husband said that he does not want his wife involve in something that has nothing to do with me and he will hurt a mofo if harm come my way.[/quote]He's right you know...what happens in their home is actually none of your business.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]In some way, I am touched but still mad at him because I feel like if it was his sisters or mother ...he would be like Boko Haram with atomic bombs. Why is it when it is someone that is not family...men will turn their heads?[/quote]Note the bolded...some men just prefer to stay away from other people's territories. They hate engaging themselves in battles that have nothing to do with them or their loved ones. I won't blame him for that.

If you feel much concern for her, then you can report the matter to the authorities (police, court etc)

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]My friend won't press charges and I am afraid for her children.[/quote]Are you sure you've convinced her enough? She has been assaulted physically and according to the law, she definitely deserves justice.

Her children is not the issue here...the issue is that she deserves the right to a happy life, she deserves peace of mind...that which her husband has denied her of. So I feel it would be proper if she takes legal action against him.

If she's a christian, she can take the case to God, but in the mean time she must rise up and fight for her right as a woman.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]She has two girls and one boy. She shared with me that her son is imitating the abuser by threatening to kill her and she need to sleep with one eye open. That bothers me because I know if she doesn't get out...she will be in a body bag.[/quote]I thought you said you advised her to leave the house for a while?

Don't tell me she's still in that house.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]I have successfully helped women get out of abusive relationship because their families were involved but she has not family that live in our region. She moved from her hometown to be with her partner and I was introduced to her by a survivor. This is exactly what she looks like and it is no lie.[/quote]I couldn't actually comprehend your statement here...but from the look of things, it seems you're her hero. I'm sure she would forever be grateful to you.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]How can a woman or man get out of an abusive relationship and do you think it is easy to do so even with a sure way out?[/quote]Well...there're many ways, she can decide to pack her things and leave if her partner is a threat to her life.

She can go for counseling. Counseling therapy has been proven over the decades to be a way to help the situation...but most couples refuse the counseling method. They refuse outside help thinking they can work it out or iron their own differences out. Maybe they're ashamed to tell people (their friends and families) what they're going through.

What you should or rather she should note is that if you don't train yourselves to look at your arguments as a couple in a more constructive way then chances are you are bound to repeat the same mistakes again and again, until you all get tired and frustrated with the same resurfacing of the problem.

FBS: 1 more goal...pls girls.

Don't be greedy

Our grils have made us proud today...they deserve a warm welcome.

Wao this is no longer football....more like volley ball if you ask me

afam4eva: You no even get shame...see the small children that you want these my mother's age mates to bully.

Nna kedu inho wu!

Why can't you support your girls

This game would reach 15...I trust my girls come on ladies you can do it...

mkmyers45: Isnt this too harsh?

How is it harsh if I may ask?

God showed him a vision of an earthquake which would befall Nigerians, and best he can do is to come to Nairaland and post his junk...that's not God speaking, its his confused mind talking.

Eyah sorry...its well. Just cling to your bible, study it day and night. Joshua 1:8... and I'm sure things would return back to normal

Hi...how's the madness going on your end

@op

Before you begin your gibberish ranting, have you watched to movie? If no, then give us a moments peace and let sleeping dogs lie.

What you guys (muslims) did us unjustly...nothing can justify the shedding of innocent blood.

So keep your miserable mouth shut and feel sorry for your religion.

ifyalways: Buy me a car and I'll teach you how to drive and pass your test.

LMAO...ifeoma you're funny.

@pdude

Don't give up...I'm sure you would pass the test...just put in more efforts, and you would have caause toi celebrate.

musKeeto: No doubt that you're a crase man though.. i think CrazyMan should lend you his id...

lol.